Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto
Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist
Engagement Date: May 4, 2007
Wedding Date: June 28, 2008
Blogging Since: September 18, 2007
Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property.
About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be
the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
In Sickness And In Health… And Sickness Again
January 28th, 2008 @ 2:28 pm by Mrs. Hummingbird
Author’s Note: Okay, here’s the thing - this is not a pretty fluffy entry. There are no beautiful dresses or sparkly eyed ponies or picture-perfect rainbows in it and if you have a tender tummy or you’re eating anything, you probably don’t want to read the following.
You still reading? Okay, well don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Last week, I somehow managed to catch the creepy superbug that is making its way around Toronto. I don’t know how I caught it. In fact, I was pretty sure the previous week, when everyone else but me suddenly became horribly violently ill, that I was somehow immune to the sickness that was bringing everyone down.
Unfortunately, that weekend, after I got back from fabric shopping, I started to feel not quite right. First, my appetite disappeared. As I am a world class eater, I knew right then something had to be wrong if I was turning up my nose at food. Then, my stomach started to hurt. Then, I got a cold sweat. Then, I started to shake.
It was bad. Real bad. Lying on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, I knew what I had to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Mr. Hummingbird was there. He was watching me. I couldn’t let him see me be sick.
My stomach of course had other plans. Though I didn’t want to, I had to let it go and before I knew it, I was doing my best imitation of Mr. Creosote from The Meaning Of Life. It was horrible. Not only did it go on for hours, emptying my stomach of things I hadn’t eaten since 1985 including McDLTs and Bonkers Gum, but I learned weird new things about myself like:
1) My skin has the ability to turn lime green.
2) I can also throw up out my nose. (Now there’s a talent that’s sure to win me beauty pageants!)
The weirdest thing of all, though, was Mr. Hummingbird. Despite the fact we’ve been together almost four years, he had never ever seen me like that so, when faced with a geyser of a girlfriend, I have to admit, I expected him to run and/or be dutifully repulsed by my sickness. However, he was just the opposite, incredibly calm and there through it all, giving me tissues and glasses of water and rubbing my back to comfort me after I’d been sick. And the next day, his awesomeness continued, as he made me tea and wrapped me up in blankets to keep me warm. I know it’ll sound like an insane thing to say, but in the midst of everything, it was actually very comforting to have him there and to know that I have someone who is just as willing to hold my hand as hold my hair back when I’m not feeling well. What can I say? I guess I’m just a sicko like that.
Have you and your fiance ever dealt with a sickness together? What did you do to help each other/cope?
(P.S. On a side note, I’d appreciate it if anyone who reads this could think good thoughts for my cousin who was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She and her husband just found out and she has to start chemo soon, so good juju is very much appreciated right now.)
30 Responses to “In Sickness And In Health… And Sickness Again”
Sending healing thoughts to your cousin for a full recovery! Regarding being sick, one of the first things my FI witnessed before we were even dating was me being sick, all over the taproom of our club in college. It was pretty atrocious, and entirely my fault (ie 10 beers in 2 hours, not the nasty stomach bug), but he was unbelievably not disgusted, and held my hair back, and didn’t laugh the next day when I turned up for class looking like death. Who knew guys could be so awesome? 
Aww, you poor thing! That sounds awful. I’m so glad Mr. Hummingbird was there for you– sounds like you have a wonderful, caring guy
I have a very sensitive stomach, so Mr. Jasmine has seen more than his fair share of ugly sickness from me. The first time he saw me throw up (a couple months after we started dating), I actually started bawling and said, “I’ll understand if you want to break up with me!!!”. He laughed and replied, “Why would I want to do that?” and then continued to take good care of me. As he has the last four years. It’s great when you find someone who loves you in sickness and in health— you really can’t ask for more.
Sorry you were sick, but I feel like you will need to post a picture of your lime green skin :)Funny you posted this because Mr buttah was sick (head in the toilet) just on Saturday night. He felt fine on Sunday. We have both been sick around each other before so I we can deal with it. But it does bring new meaning to “in sickness and in health”!
My thoughts and prayers are with your cousin.
first and foremost…I am sending out my most positive thoughts and vibes to your cousin.
Second….As a fellow Canadian (I’m a Windsor-ite) - I too, felt the wrath of the superbug about a week ago. And you were not exagerating when noting that,” …It was bad. Real bad.” So, I completely empathize with you. I think that its wonderful that Mr. Hummingbird was there for you and offered you comfort. It is weird that sometimes at our worst, the best in others really comes out. It sounds like you are marrying a wonderful guy:)
like everyone else - sending positive vibes both your and your cousin’s ways.
right after i started dating my FI, i caught some mysterious virus that gave me a 104 degree fever, occasional puking, aches, chills, etc. it was our third date and we were supposed to go to a concert and a party, but i had to bail on him. i was so afraid that he’d think i was making it up or be disappointed. instead, a few hours after i called him, he showed up on my doorstep with a bag of medicine, tissues, and snacks!
i knew then that he was a keeper.
My guy was diagnosed with tuberculosis last winter. He was completely unable to work or even function on a normal level.
It turns out that it was just a heck of a sinus infection that got completely out of control because they won’t give him the right drugs. We were both glad that it wasn’t TB, but irritated at the medical community in the area.
But back to the point, sickness in your loved one is a great opportunity to actually act out the love you have for that person. When I came down with a doozy of a cold after Christmas, he was there to wrap me in blankets and bring me warm tea and boxes of tissues. It’s surprising how wonderful they can be sometimes. It reminds me of why I’m marrying this man.
I do hope your cousin has a full and rapid recovery!
Like Miss Jasmine, I have a very sensitive stomach, however, I eat like it is made of steel. So I get sick, a lot. I’ve been to the doctor and there is nothing to do. But my FI has a special shirt he pulls out of the drawer for me on these occasions, runs to the store to get my diet 7up and puts on Finding Nemo. In turn when he gets sick and turns into a complete baby, I make him soup!
Poor you - I’m glad to hear you are doing much better now. It’s nice when the moments when you don’t say a word and they know just what to do to comfort you, aint it?
Your cousin is in my thoughts. I wish her the best. Please tell her to stay positive and be in good spirits, that helps fighting that darn thing a lot!
Very healing thoughts for your cousin. I wish them strength.
As for the sickness thing… Oh man, I have quite a few. I’m allergic to Naproxen, which is in aleve. I was not aware of this allergy until I took one for a migraine. Well, my hands swelled into water-filled blisters (i hope I didn’t out-gross you) that were so red, puffy and painful that I couldn’t use my hands. They were unable to bend at the joints- so swollen you couldn’t FIND the joints. *I was in a medical book!*It was seriously the worst, I was basically helpless. Mr. Kiwi bathed me, washed, dried and brushed my hair. He helped me dress, and fed me. It was humiliating, but showed me how much he loved me, since no boyfriend I had before would ever have done that for me.
Also along the sickness lines. I am allergic to the sun, and before I found my kickass Canadian sunscreen, I would again, blister and welt. It happened one weekend, and Mr. K took the day off work to stay home with me, help me eat, and he picked up double stuf oreos for me.
Sometimes you just need that sickness curse to show exactly what you have in a mate!!
Your cousin is in our thoughts!
Last year I got a very bad cold, it attacked my throat to the point where i would cry when swallowing because it felt like knives were being shoved down it. It shut me down for an entire week, but my boyfriend (now FI) was there for me even though he had a busy school schedule as well. He even stayed with me an entire night just sitting on my bed and letting me cuddle into him for extra warmth. Turns out he didn’t sleep at all that night, but was just making sure I was ok. It sounds cliche I know, but I really truly realized how much he cared for me then!
It must not have scared him away because he proposed a couple weeks later!
Thoughts and prayers for your cousin - all these good vibes have gotta help!
The first time I met my husband’s ENTIRE extended family was on their summer vacation at a state park. I ate something that had been out in the sun too long, I think. And then I went tubing on the lake. And then I tried playing dominos with the grandparents, but I was feeling worse, and worse… I finally laid down on the couch and everyone thought I was just tired. But then I leapt up and ran outside to be terribly sick all over the outside wall of his grandparents’ cottage! I felt so embarrassed - I really wanted to make a good impression on his family. He followed me out, and I kept saying, “I’m sorry!” and he said, “it doesn’t look like you can help this.” Then he held my hair back for round 2. If it’s possible to fall extra in-love, I did it then.
Then three days later when I was just over my food poisoning, he got tonsillitis! I had to drive him to the doctor (3 hours from the state park where we were), to the pharmacy, and then home. He was a big ol’ whiner, but when I made him hot grits (about the only semi-solid his throat could manage), he sort of stopped whining and let me help take care of him.
Like Miss Penguin’s “we made it” moment, we’ve both said that week was a defining one for our relationship.
I’m sending good thoughts for your cousin!
In terms of being sick, a couple years after we started dating, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I’d never had surgery before. I had a terrible reaction to the surgery getting all the worst symptoms.
He picked up my prescriptions (and jello!) and put me to bed. My incisions kept bleeding which then led to me being stationed by the toilet in a similar fashion to the way I’m sure you were. He stayed with me in the bathroom and read to me from my Cosmo magazine until I felt well enough to move back to bed!
Sickness is a sense of stress in our relationship.
At the time my fiance and I met and started dating, I had leukemia. Strange though it may sound, I refused to let him “help” me — I didn’t want a pity party, and I figured I had coped with it on my own until he came along, and I was afraid that if I became dependent on his help, and we broke up, I wouldn’t know what to do.
Fast forward 5 years, and I’m in remission — but I still don’t like sharing my heath concerns. It doesn’t help that he’s about to graduate medical school, and he always thinks he knows what is best for me. Because I’m so used to coping on my own, I don’t like to share (as in, I could handle cancer on my own, I don’t need his help with a headache!) I often go to doctor’s appointments without telling him, and he gets FURIOUS. I don’t mean to upset him, but it’s just so ingrained in me to do everything on my own, and keep it to myself.
I know I need to try to change this, but really I wish he would learn that I am capable of handling my own health concerns, and that he would just trust me to take care of things when they are a problem. Obviously, if there ever was a giant health crisis, I wouldn’t keep him in the dark… but I’d rather deal with the little day to day issues on my own.
Sorry to hear about your cousin, I’m sending good thoughts and vibes her way.
When Kim and I first started dating, and by this I mean after the whole handshake debacle (that’s a whole other story) I had a similar experience.
I had gone to work in the morning and was feeling fine so I gave Kim and call and left her message asking if she wanted to do something that night. As the day went on I started to feel a little warm, then light headed, and then I felt sick. According to co-workers I was looking pretty pale. I was supposed to go to an employee dinner thing that night, but felt too sick and headed home. As soon as I got home I realized that I was running a high fever, and shortly after this realization my phone rang.
Sure enough Kim was returning my call. She asked if I wanted to go see Narnia with some of her co-workers. I told her I wasn’t feeling well but she persisted. I thought about how much I liked her and figured that I might be missing out on something great if I didn’t go, so I agreed.
Did I mention that this was in December and it was something like -25 (Celcius) with the windchill? So I bundled up. I put on the warmest pair of boxer shorts I had, my wool socks, two t-shirts, three hoodies, a scarf, a toque, my jacket, and mittens. I could barely move I had so many layers on, not to mention that I was having trouble standing up for long periods.
I headed out to the subway and met up with Kim at a bar that was just around the corner from the theatre. I was delirious and she didn’t seem too sure of where we stood dating wise. There was an awkward hug for a greeting if I remember correctly.
We went and watched the movie and then we ended up back at her place. I was completely delirious, and Kim realized that I was pretty sick.
The next day I called in sick to work and spent the day on the couch in front of the tv at my place drifting in and out of consciousness. I sent her text messages throughout the day. I also managed to get out of the house, and go around the corner to buy a can of soup. When I got home I realized I didn’t have a can opener, at that point I may have cried. I’m a really big baby when I get sick, mainly because when I get sick I get really really sick.
Anyways I called Kim later and she asked if I wanted her to bring me a can opener. Of course I did, my soupy salvation was still trapped in the can. So she bundled up and came over.
I was so feverish I just kept saying “Thank you for coming.” or “thank so much”. Basically I kept thanking her for coming over.
She made me the soup and we hung out on the couch and watched movies.
She still takes care of me when I’m sick. I’m really grateful for that because I know I am the worst person to take care of when sick. I’m pretty much a complete invalid from the time the bug enters my system, to the time that my cells kill that last little bit of the invading forces.
On the topic of puking out your nose: That happens to me all the time, I have had chunks of food come out of my nostrils. It’s not pleasant, not one bit.
aye, i hope you and your cousin get well soon. i know what you mean about having to toss cookies, ugh i absolutely hate doing that and try to avoid it at all costs but you know, you always feel better afterwards. i haven’t been sick during my visits with the bf but we have talked about our various stomach ailments [whether needing to stick our heads in the toilet or just sit on it for hours] and while it was completely embarassing at first, it’s now fairly easy to discuss. which is so freakin’ weird. lol. i’m sure that when we do live together, we’d totally baby one another while the other was sick. when you honestly care and love someone, you want to do you best to make them feel better.
Hopefully your cousin will feel our positive energy and thoughts and recover soon. Whht the right treatment, it’s amazing how far the medical work has come!
As for puking my brains out…yeah, my FI had a week of that when I caught the flu and the best part was when he asked me…”So are you going to shower today?” and I looked at him like he was from Mars. I should mention that at the point he asked me, I had not been able to get out of bed and stand on my own two feet for a good 2 days…so really he was legit in asking…in retrospect I found it amazing he still wanted to sleep in the same bed with me! This is the same guy that will shower after he poops! =) So he is very anti-dirty and germy….
Gotta love the boy for his honesty though, I don’t know if I’d be able to put up with me for that week! Isn’t it amazing the things we do for love?!
You know he’s awesome when he can stick by you through something like that. It sucks that you were sick, but yay for having a future husband that can handle the bad stuff along with the good.
positive vibes to your cousin & family.
when i had my wisdom teeth pulled in march he not only changed my bloody gauze when i was too drugged to do it, but he also held frozen bags of vegetables on my cheeks when i couldn’t stay awake long enough to keep them there.
i’m not knocked off my feet often, so it was the first time i was helpless and he was the caretaker. no one has ever taken care of me so well.
Ugh, I hate getting stomach bugs. I’m so sorry you caught it! I’ve gotten it 4 times in the last 2 years! Here’s something I wrote on how to take care of the “stomach flu”:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2101697_care-stomach-flu.html
The first time I got it, my bf wasn’t as caring as I would have liked, but it wasn’t a big deal. I’m not a baby when I’m sick. The third time was the worst, chills and shivering and all. When my bf came home from work and saw me hunched over the trash can, he knew it was bad. When I got the chills, he wrapped me up in his sweatshirts and blankets. It was nice but I think he realizes I’m not a baby when I get sick. He let me call out to him and when I needed stuff, but most of the time, he just left me in the bathroom or in bed while he was playing video games in the living room (or maybe he just isn’t that great of a care-taker ha!).
Glad you are feeling better though, Miss Hummingbird, that kinda illness really takes a toll on you. My thoughts and prayers go out to your cousin.
Once, Mr Tulip and I both got food poisoning. I had it a day earlier, and much worse. The low point was projectile vomiting out the passenger door of his car, right in front of a crowded outdoor restaurant patio (ha!), on the way to the emergency room.
Amazingly, Mr T actually ATE THE LEFTOVERS while waiting for me at the ER, so by the time we got home he was a goner too. We spent the next 18 hours flat dead asleep, just waking up every now and then to moan.
But during one of the wake-ups, he turned to me and said “There’s no one I’d rather be deathly ill with than you.” And I thought it was the most romantic thing he’s ever said…. Anyone can be happy together when you’re at your best, but after 48 hours of stomach difficulties? You KNOW that’s love!
I’ve had a belly ache since last night. Is that how it starts?? Dear God…I’m in Toronto too…you have me scared Hummingbird!!
This actually happened to my husband and I about 3 months into our relationship. That was it for me. To know that he was going to stand there & take care of me while I was puking my guts out (and had it coming out both ends, if you know what I mean)…I knew he was the one for me.
My thoughts are with your cousin and with your family.
This reminds me of that awesome scene in Fever Pitch, where Jimmy Fallon is scrubbing Drew Barrymore’s toilet while she sleeps off a fever.
On an unrelated note, Mr. Lovebug thinks it’s “awesome” that your skin can turn completely lime green and wishes his fiance had the same superpower. I don’t even want to tell him what you can do through your nose. My inadequacy will hurt us both.
Good juju going through the wires to your cousin.
aww that is so sweet! I can totally relate because I have major IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) so I’m constantly running to the bathroom, or have to have him STOP the car so I can find a restroom RIGHT that minute. It may not seem romantic, but I think it’s super sweet when they can get past the grossness and just hold your hand through it all.
I’m so sorry to hear about your and your cousin! I’ll be lifting up a prayer for both of you tonight.
It’s so sweet that Mr. Lovebug would become your brave knight in the face of such an ugly monster of a bug. I sometimes feel like when I’m feeling my worst, I would so much rather spend the day with my own Mr. Ducky and have a good medicinal dose of his bad jokes (that somehow make me crack up uproariously anyway) than to go for a visit to my doctor for some antibiotics. Love certainly cures all!
I’m so, so sorry to hear about your cousin. On a hopeful note, my friend just went into remission from “pancan” after two years of treatment. Sending positive vibes for your cousin to do the same just as soon as possible!
On the topic of sickness, mr beanchar is a HUGE baby when even mildly under the weather (like all men, as Alex so candidly admitted above) who requires lots and lots of nuturing, which I am happy to give.
I will usually tough out feeling ill, except of course for throwing up– which can’t be avoided and therefore pisses me right off.
One night, suffering with a particularly beastly stomach virus, I snuck off to the bathroom to be sick. Empty of gut, with indignant tears streaming down my face full of broken blood vessels, I was too tired to move from the cold tile floor. The next thing I know, mr beanchar is there, ready to carry me back to bed. “No, no– I can’t move,” I protested. So, without another word he lay down on the floor with me and held me until I fell asleep. So, he’s a pretty darn good nurturer too.
A couple of months ago I woke up my FI in the middle of the night because I felt sicker than I had ever remembered feeling. I was sweating and shivering and nauseated…ugg, it was terrible. I had the worst stomach cramps, and he patiently sat on the edge of the tub while I sat on the toilet…and sat…and sat… Until finally I leaned forward and, bam!, threw up all over his leg. At this point I was crying because I felt so horrible and because I was mortified, but he didn’t do or say anything to indicate how he really must have felt with my vomit on this leg and eventually got me to laugh about the situation.
A few weeks later, the tides turned and my FI was really sick, and I was really happy to be able to reciprocate the attentiveness and support he showed me.
Hahaha! Miss Vanilla, I’m calling you Patient Zero now.
I wouldn’t worry too much Lani. I think my case was just really bad because I’d been running myself ragged for two full weeks and then when I stopped, it hit me like a tonne of bricks.
Anyway, thanks to everyone for all of the kind words regarding my cousin and cheers to all the awesome partners out there who step up when we get sick!
[…] back in January, as a post-script to an entry I wrote about being sick, I mentioned that a cousin of mine was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. By the time she was diagnosed, the cancer had spread to the point where it was classified as being […]
[…] back in January, as a post-script to an entry I wrote about being sick, I mentioned that a cousin of mine was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. By the time she was diagnosed, the cancer had spread to the point where it was classified as being […]
