It’s A Slow Newsweek For Me.
January 30th, 2008 @ 2:41 pm by Mrs. Lovebug
I’ll make a deal with you guys. I coin, you circulate:
rock slide
-noun
the surreptitious re-positioning of an engagement ring, for purposes of improved display
When Coco realized the man chatting her up was actually hitting on her, she quickly pulled a rock slide.
garter snake
-noun
a creepy single guy who tries to catch the bride’s garter in hopes of sliding it up the leg of an attractive bridesmaid
OMG, poor Kate. She caught the bouquet and now she has to suffer the touch of Willie the garter snake.
salad dressing
-verb
dieting or eating lightly (as of salads), so to fit into one’s wedding gown
I’ve been salad dressing for so long, I’ve completely forgotten what carbs taste like.
pennypound
-verb
to disregard cost(s) after habitual, excessive, wedding-related spending (from the archaic, “In for a penny, in for a pound”)
Five bucks for a tiny bottle of bubbles?! Oh, what the hell. We’re pennypounding it at this point, anyway.
Martha’s Graveyard
-noun
a metaphorical island littered with the discarded remains of failed, overambitious DIY projects
The handmade, organza-and-lace-covered Chinese lanterns I so valiantly attempted to make are now resting peacefully in Martha’s Graveyard.
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20 Responses to “It’s A Slow Newsweek For Me.”
You are so clever! I love all of these, especially pennypound because that’s the story of my life these days.
These are awesome. And for some added fun, I tried to see if any of the last ones were URLs…can you believe tulleshed.com was taken? 
Lexophiles of the world, unite!
I don’t know what makes me laugh more - the definitions or the sentences!!
I love these! Keep them coming!
I am pretty sure that Martha’s Graveyard is in my guestroom closet.
awesome! love your posts, keep em coming~~~
you are too funny! I have sooo done the rock slide!!!
Alashole. Noun. Vendor or person you thought would be great but, alas, they are an a**hole.
Well, I got it right this time, all my other boyfriends were alasholes.
Haha love them! I’m going to start using the rock slide and the pennypounding. I think rock slide could also be when its freezing cold and your ring is too big-it keeps sliding around and ends up pounding on the keyboard (as mine is now…)
Those are awesome!
Interoffice circulation has begun. I love them!
Alashole! I love it. Please, keep them coming everyone. I’m going to put together one of those tiny books (which I may even attempt to publish), and I want to give everyone a chance to contribute (duly credited, of course).
Angel: whoa! I wonder what they’re going to put there. How random.
“Alashole” is going straight into my everyday vocabulary!
rate of return – noun
the value of an unwanted wedding gift
When we took it back to Nordstom’s, we found out that hideous candelabra had a great rate of return and paid for an entire place setting of our silver!
shoe inserts – noun
inappropriate sharing of past misdeeds
The maid of honor’s toast started off with a few shoe inserts about their college days, but ended with a very sweet poem.
officiant – noun
The meddlesome wife of your uncle.
During the cocktail hour, our poor bartender got a lecture on proper martini-making from Officiant Betty.
You are my neologist hero! 
Soooo funny! These are great!!
These are hilarious!
I especially love the salad dressing… SO true!
[...] Lovebug sported a two-button tuxedo from Armani (a prime example of some serious pennypounding), an Armani silver tie, and some seriously spiffy [...]
Mrs. Lovebug, Tucson
Age and Occupation in 06: 31, Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Professional Game Show Contestant
Engagement Date: February 18, 2007
Wedding Date: April 19, 2008
Venue: Historic Inn
About Me: Likes: blogging, wikis, semi-colons, cuddling, fragrant flowers, syntax, and spooning. Dislikes: typos, dangling modifiers, flypaper, citronella candles, and run-ons. If I had my druthers, I'd exchange simple vows in a candlelit library. But I lost my druthers long ago...anyone seen them?
omg Miss Lovebug! You crack me up. You are this close from getting me fired because its obvious I’m not doing anything worth billable time when I laugh at the screen!