I’ll make a deal with you guys. I coin, you circulate:
rock slide
-noun
the surreptitious re-positioning of an engagement ring, for purposes of improved display
When Coco realized the man chatting her up was actually hitting on her, she quickly pulled a rock slide.
garter snake
-noun
a creepy single guy who tries to catch the bride’s garter in hopes of sliding it up the leg of an attractive bridesmaid
OMG, poor Kate. She caught the bouquet and now she has to suffer the touch of Willie the garter snake.
salad dressing
-verb
dieting or eating lightly (as of salads), so to fit into one’s wedding gown
I’ve been salad dressing for so long, I’ve completely forgotten what carbs taste like.
pennypound
-verb
to disregard cost(s) after habitual, excessive, wedding-related spending (from the archaic, “In for a penny, in for a pound”)
Five bucks for a tiny bottle of bubbles?! Oh, what the hell. We’re pennypounding it at this point, anyway.
Martha’s Graveyard
-noun
a metaphorical island littered with the discarded remains of failed, overambitious DIY projects
The handmade, organza-and-lace-covered Chinese lanterns I so valiantly attempted to make are now resting peacefully in Martha’s Graveyard.
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