The Little Post That Could
January 31st, 2008 @ 11:02 am by Mrs. Bubblegum
Miss Bubblegum has officially hit a wall. In fact, she hit it so hard that she began referring to herself in the third person.
I’ve heard other bees talk about their encounters with said wall. And I thought, “no, it won’t happen to me. I don’t even like walls. I’ll just stay outside all day and avoid them altogether.”
… But the walls are everywhere … *dun dun dun*
Lately I’m finding it harder and harder to concentrate on the wedding. A year ago, this would not have been a huge issue. But as there are exactly four months until the big day, I am finding this slightly problematic.
Between work and studying (I have an actuarial exam right before the wedding), I end up coming home and taking refuge in the cush of my sofa. When people ask me about the wedding, I roll my eyes and say, “yeah, it’ll happen. I’m really more worried about my exam.” And when I think about everything there is to do, my brain goes into sleep mode.
So far, I’ve implemented one form of therapy. Last weekend, Mr. BG and I sat down and made a list, in excel, of EVVVVERYTHING left to do for the wedding. We gave ourselves start dates and end dates (yes, we made deadlines), and then sorted our list based on the end date (ascending) then start date (ascending). As we complete tasks, we put a big “COMPLETE” next to the task, which is extremmmmmely gratifying.
But beyond that, I’m at a loss - so I’m appealing to you ladies (or gents) - please impart upon me your wedding slump wisdom. How can I free my world of walls??
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12 Responses to “The Little Post That Could”
I say embrace the walls. Give yourself a deadline for when you need to get back on track, but for now, just go up to the wall, give it a mini-kiss, and say ‘thank you, now I am going to go snuggle with Mr. Couch’. The wall will move along eventually.
I find taking breaks EXTREMELY important. As Mrs Corn says, take a break - you obviously have a ton going on right now- take the weekend off of wedding stuff… you’ll be amazed how much more energy you have once you let yourself recharge!
And good luck with the exam! I am SOOO happy my FI finished his up in the Fall -he’s got some computer modules to do, but nothing like the tests. Keep your head down and your flashcards handy.
Delegate a few things to MR BG that need to get done int he next 2 weeks and take a wedding break. Don’t do anything related to the wedding unless you absolutly have to. this way when you do get back on track you are refreshed and ready to go. Use this time to study for your test so if you are less stressed later when the time for both is getting close and there are so many things to do still.
hehe..my fiance wants to know which exam you’re taking. he decided not to take the may exam and wait until november because he knows he won’t have enough time to study~! he was surprised and impressed that you were taking the exam and getting married~!!
I started seeing a therapist, just to talk about how much there was to do (I have a lot going on in addition to the wedding, also). Talking about it to someone who is paid to listen and not get impatient or bored was very helpful. My work has an Employee Assistance Program that pays for a certain number of sessions (and it’s anonymous), so it was free for me.
Also, I don’t know how much you did in advance, but for me, remembering that really the only things you need for a fun wedding are the site, the food, the music and the officiant–all of which I already had–was extremely helpful. Sure, favors would be nice, perfect hair would be nice, I sure do want beautiful pictures and gorgeous flowers and to look fabulous in my dress, but you know what? Without those things we will still have a great party and get married and it will still be the happiest day of my life (so far).
So, I would think about the things you consider FUNDAMENTAL (not things you just really really want) to the day. Then everything you do on top of that is gravy–something you want to do, not something you have to do.
I agree with pretty much everything said. You. Need. A. Break. Even if you can only manage to do so for an evening. Come home. Run a hot bath. Pour some wine. Put on some tunes. and relax. Let your mind wander to “after wedding” a little. Enjoy thinking of how fun its going to be to say “*squeeeee* You’re my husband!!!!” to Mr. BG and then get all gross and mushy about it. 
Im naturally a planner. My dad is much the same, so at least i know where i get it from. I currently work 3 jobs (one full time, two part time) to save money for the wedding. So working a ton, plus planning an out of state wedding has me slightly overwhelmed. Sometimes, i just need to step back, take a minute for me (or an evening or a weekend or whatever) and just reflect. And get myself excited about everything all over again.
Im a DIY girl too, so i know all those little details are the friggin bane of my existance, but i think you can pull through the walls. Hang in there.
This post made me feel SOOOO much better! I too am exactly 4 months away (yay May 31) and I have been in the same situation as you, loving my couch. Just this week I’ve had to kick myself into gear and I am definately going to impliment the excel sheet for the final 4-month count down. Thanks for making me feel not alone!
I had my first wall two weeks ago - I just did not ever want to try on another dress. So I told myself I was taking a break (and then I told my mother, which was harder). And after cancelling all our appointments, I felt soooo much better that two days later I gave in, make another (one) appointment, and found the dress.
You do have to give yourself a break. This may be a weird way of dealing with things, but in addition to making sure I get some time to lay on the couch with a trashy paperback, I have also taken on a couple of volunteer projects. My role is limited to printing newsletters and stuffing envelopes for fundraising, but I find it gives me something non-wedding-related to do, that also burns off some of the nervous energy that somehow keeps me thinking about wedding planning all the time. It is a big relief to stop thinking for a few hours and still feel like I have accomplished something. This is probably what you are doing when you study for your test - another way of taking a break.
I have just over 4 months to go and haven’t hit the wall yet, but do enforce mini-breaks every now and again when I feel myself making decisions just to check them off the list. While sometimes rash decision making can make for excellent productivity, you don’t want to end up paying too much/picking something just ok/etc just because you wanted to be done with it.
Aww, thanks guys!! You’re all right - and to commence my chillaxination, I bought myself pretty clothes tonight.
futuremrs.taj - lucky :/
e - I’m taking exam CSP (it’s an SOA exam.. not sure if your FI is SOA or CAS?). I have seriously considered (and am still seriously considering) giving up on it, but it’s only offered once a year, and garsh durnit, I want my FSA.
You go girl! I am so impressed - keep it up - that way when you get the FSA, you have an MRS. too!
My fiance was kind of appalled when he realized he got his FSA and is getting married in the same year…does that make you a super-adult?!
Mrs. Bubblegum, Exeter, NH
Age and Occupation: 24, Actuarial Analyst
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Ressearch & Development
Engagement Date: February 9, 2007
Wedding Date: May 2008
Blogging Since: November 2, 2007
Venue: Dunegrass Golf Club
About Me: I can be summed up by the four things I love most: kitties, cheese, math, and Mr. Bubblegum. I am knee-deep in DIY projects to keep wedding costs low but quality high for the special day when I get to marry my bestest friend.
Ahhh yes, the wall. I remember it well.
My best move was instead of writing “finalize caterer” on my spreadsheet, I wrote “call caterer to discuss food options” and then “narrow down food options’ and then “pick food” and then “pick alcohol” etc. By breaking down each big item into like 10 little items, the list was much longer but there were soooooooo many more checkmarks!! It was just too depressing to spend an hour working on something and feel that nice sense of accomplishment and then realize that there was nothing I could put on the spreadsheet to show for it. So then I just redid the spreadsheet so eeeevery little teeny thing I did got a checkmark.