Wedding Blog
…I call him “Dad.”
(What do you think — family resemblance?)
At a friend’s wedding we attended a few months ago, there was one absolutely touching moment in the ceremony when the groom’s mother got up to say a few words. Her emotion and pride were so evident that I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house.
From that moment on, I knew who HAD to be our wedding officiant.
You see, my father is a wedding officiant! He’s ordained through the Community of Christ (which draws its clergy from the congregation, rather than having professional priests) and is much in demand in his home community of Des Moines. And for good reason — he has a background in theater and radio, so he knows how to speak well;** he writes for a living, so he knows how to craft a good speech; and, best of all, he knows to keep things short!
My only concern was that if he officiates, he shouldn’t walk me down the aisle as well. It seemed a bit much to walk down the aisle and then get up in front and do the ceremony. And it was a bit sad to say goodbye to the image of Dad walking his little girl down the aisle…. But in the grand scheme of things, I think it will be so much more meaningful to have him be the one to actually marry us. I couldn’t imagine anyone better!
Are you having a family member or someone else special to you perform the service?
** If you live in Des Moines, I guarantee you’ve heard my dad on TV or radio. (Among other things, I think he’s still the guy who says “It’s 10:00, and you’re watching Channel 13″ before the p.m. news starts….) Since childhood, whenever I drive to Des Moines to visit him, my official “we’re almost there” moment is whenever I first hear my dad’s voice come out of the radio.
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I think that will be lovely! I also don’t think it would be too much for him to walk you down the aisle too, if you still wanted that.
Your dad didn’t teach at Drake did he? He resembles a former prof of mine. I love the idea of a parent officiating. Very personal and meaningful.
Oh how I wish I could have a family member as my officiant. You’re so lucky and the fact that he is “marrying” you off makes it that much more special!
If you think the aisle-walking would be too difficult, what if you walked solo the first half and then he came to meet you to walk you the rest of the way? One of my favorite memories from my wedding was having my dad walk me down. Especially if it’s important to you, don’t give it up - find some compromise. And talk to your dad to see what he thinks! He may have his heart set on it, too (little girls aren’t the only ones that imagine their weddings) and it would be a shame to break his heart by telling him he couldn’t have that honor.
My Dad is also doing our service. I think it might be the part I am most looking forward to. I am not very traditional, so I didn’t mind letting up the whole walking down the aisle thing. But since my sister is my MOH and my Dad is doing the service, I thought it would be really nice to have my mom walk with me. I don’t like the image of being given away, but I do love that they will all be involved in some way.
Aww, I think that’s really sweet. That’s going to make the ceremony that much more personal and intimate. And I don’t think having him walk you down the aisle is too much at all. I know I would find the whole thing really heart-wearming and touching!
My dad is officiating at my wedding too! He is also walking me down the aisle - we solved this by having a second officiant for that part of the ceremony. This worked out since we have a good friend who is an ordained minister, so they will share the responsibility.
My dad officiated my wedding and also walked me down the aisle. It worked out really nicely for us, since he just wore a suit to walk down the aisle. Then, when I got to the front to my husband, we had a moment together while my dad put his robe on.
I went to college at Iowa State in Ames, I have totally heard that voice before the news!!! Very cool, I think it’s very touching to have him as your officiant.
think about this way– would you ever look back on your wedding and think, “my gosh, dad was wayyy too much a part of my wedding!” NEVER. your wedding is about the two of you, and about sharing your love with those closest to you. i personally don’t think that there’s such a thing as having too much of those you love around you, and having your dad walk you down the aisle is such a coveted moment that so many girls cherish for the rest of their lives. don’t miss out on it when you have a chance to, you may regret it later.
if it helps, when my MOH was married, her father was the officiant. He walked her down the aisle, had her meet her groom and then put his robe on. It took seconds for him to put the robe on so there was no awkward pause.
Thanks for your nice comments, everyone! (Sorry, Angie, Dad has never taught at Drake…. Though I’m sure he’ll be amused to know there’s a doppleganger out there somewhere!)
To clarify the “too much” bit, I’m mostly thinking of my mother and Mr. T’s parents. My parents are divorced and my mother raised me, so it seems a bit strange to have my father take on all the roles. (But, shh, I don’t want my mother to walk me down the aisle ’cause sometimes she stresses me out!) And Mr. T’s parents are a bit put out that they don’t have a major role in the wedding. So, in light of all the other parents’ feelings, I don’t want to go too overboard with my dad’s role!
just as a gentle gentle piece of input… i went to a wedding where the groom’s father officiated and it was awkward because it was very one-sided… all he did was tell childhood anecdotes about his son, and said very very little about the bride. i’m sure your dad wouldn’t do this, but just to put it out there..!
That’s so great, Miss Tulip! I think it’s a nice trade off to have your dad have such an important role despite not getting to walk you down the aisle.
My bonus mom married us, and it was one of the coolest and sweetest moments of our wedding.
My uncle is marrying us, he is my dad’s brother, so I know it’ll be a touching moment when my dad walks me down the aisle and my uncle is there to perform the ceremony.
I know a girl whose dad walked her up the aisle and then married her and her husband. I never thought anything of it, other than how special it was. If you want to do it, go for it! 
My dad [a Methodist minister] walked me down the aisle AND performed the ceremony.
We had a preacher friend do the first part of the ceremony [until dad gave me away]. Then dad popped up there and performed the rest.
It was perfect! and oh so meaningful.
I just heard of a friend’s wedding where the father of the bride walked her down the aisle and then officiated. So it was up to the groom put a new spin on the oft-debated question: “Who gives this woman to be my wife?” Apparently, it was a hoot…
If you still wanted to have your dad do both roles, are there other special duties you can give the other parents to keep things “balanced”? Perhaps , candle lighting or a reading or…? Hmm, maybe if your father is walking you down the aisle, Mr. Tulip’s dad could welcome folks before the processional begins?
As for us, we’re having a dear friend, who also happens to be our former pastor, marry us. I’m excited we’ll have someone who knows us both so well! Still haven’t decided how I will walk down the aisle… my dad passed away several years ago, and I’m not sure if I want to give that role to anyone else. I’ve been thinking of some other fun ways to be “given away” or escorted though…
My grandfather (dad side) married my parents. When I was growing up, I loved the pictures of their ceremony because I never had to ask who people were.
I like Elizabeth’s (#18) suggestion.
I wanted my Dad and hubby’s Dad to officiate, but I got no encouragement and some subtle criticism for it. My Dad was down for it, but hubby’s Dad was not. In the end a family friend officiated because I didn’t want a complete stranger to officiate. Wish I had read your post last year at this time.
Our officiant was a close friend of the family, and he had always said that when his kids (all boys) got married, he wouldn’t want to do the ceremony because it would leave their mom weeping alone in the front pew. So far, two of his sons are married, he did both ceremonies, and mom did just fine.
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Mrs. Tulip, DC
Age and Occupation: 36, Retired
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor
Engagement Date: August 8, 2007
Wedding Date: March, 2008
Venue: Still Looking!
About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
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