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Strip courtesy of the now defunct Patrick Grey. R.I.P. Patrick.
Is the balance of my bank account.
Even though I always understood that weddings cost money, I was never really aware of how much money until I started paying for mine.
I’ll admit I was a fool. I should have known that the numbers floating around in my head were unreasonable, even doing things the budget way, but I was optimistic and figured that with a little elbow grease and ingenuity, we could squeak by with our meager budget. Oh how wrong I was . . .
Overnight, it seemed I went from being a girl who, at her worst, had a $200 credit card balance which she paid off right away in full, to being a girl who has DEBT.
A few weeks ago when I went fabric shopping, I just about had a seizure when I had to pay the bill. Logically, I realize that, considering everything I was purchasing (mockup fabric, lining, lace and silk for my dress and silk shantung for our BL and MOH), it wasn’t that bad, but that didn’t change the fact that the salesgirl had to practically pull my Mastercard out of my white knuckled death grip.
This all wouldn’t be so bad if I JUST had to pay for wedding stuff, but outside in the real world, life is continuing. The rent is due, the utilities are due and unfortunately, telling those bill collectors you’re going to be a bit late this month because you just dropped a few hundred bucks on imported French lace isn’t a valid excuse.
Our parents have been very sweet and are helping out with some of the costs and I can at least see a light at the end of the minimum monthly payment tunnel (come on June!), but I can’t help but feel a little stressed, especially since I was raised in a very conservative household and have never ever been “in the red” for anything before.
So to calm my nerves, I need some reassurance from the Hive - Are any of you in/have any of you been in wedding debt? How did you deal with it?
Misery loves company: I have 80k in student loans, our rent is $1800/month, we are paying for the wedding & honeymoon ourselves, our monthly utilities/expenses average $1000.
Anytime I think I want to have that something extra for the wedding I look at my monthly accounting spreadsheet and my bank statements and that brings me back down to reality. At the same time, consider that this is a once in a lifetime event (hopefully) so if you really truly need it to be happy, then don’t beat yourself up about it.
My CC bill is slowly creeping up with every passing month, but I try to clear at least half of the balance that is on it every month so the interest won’t be so terrible if I carry a balance a few weeks after the wedding. But it’s not easy, especially since we went from being paid weekly to now bi-weekly. I gotta tell you it was nice having something to look foward to every week, but those days are now long gone. So to answer your question, it’s hard balancing your daily life with wedding planning. I cannot wait until this is all over and we can save for our honeymoon, or new car, or something longerlasting than the 24 hours of my wedding day. Sigh…
Sorry to hear about that. It helps that we both have worked for a few years now and have some savings. However, I have yet to pay the first expense for the wedding. I’m sure the reality would hit once I really start booking vendors and shopping for dresses, etc.
Well, if you can’t cut anymore corners on the wedding front, how about the home front? Drive less (use less gas), eat out less, go out less, turn down your thermostat, clip coupons, sell old clothes/book/movies/CDs on Craigslist, sell leftover wedding supplies you won’t end up needing. Drink more water and less soda. Save up your loose change.
You could also do some part-time tutoring or copy-editing, or write frelance articles, or donate plasma, if you want to set your sights at earning mroe, instead of saving more.
Good luck!
Aaah, this is such a timely post, considering that ChicagoSteve and I had to sit down and try to hash out our remaining wedding expenses and where the money is coming from last night. We thought we were doing so well when we secured our venue and caterer a year ago at pretty good rates for downtown Chicago…all the wedding guides told me to plan for the reception costs to be about half of the total expense, but surely in our case we could just “minimize the cost” of everything else…yeah right. It’s going to be reeeaaallly tight from now until the end of April, and yes, we’re totally taking on some additional credit debt, on top of my existing student loan and credit debt. It will all be worth it on the big day, right? 
Oh dear. Well I would say the best and worst mistake I ever made was getting involved in the very same mess. My parents offered us the money to use as a down payment on a house or the wedding. We did the wedding - mostly due to outside pressure, and I supplemented the costs. In the end my husband loved the wedding but, being primary breadwinner and coming out with *only* $7000 in debt was “good” (the rest I paid along the way). Now, 6 months later and looking at an ever expensive real estate market in my city I now regret it all a bit. I’m not sure I needed ALL of it, but it is done, the bills have mostly been paid off and we move on. My big tip, ask yourself 3 times, do I love it, love it, love it? And Do i need it, need it, need it? Best of luck.
We were doing fine on our wedding budget until today when I had to significantly change plans for our honeymoon. We now have a typical vacation packages in that we pay a lump sum BEFORE the trip. Up until now, we were counting on paying for the trip AFTER the h’moon. That 60-90 day difference is huge — and the difference of a few paychecks. we now owe $$ to all of our vendors at the exact same time! Ack!
My finance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and as I see our savings account drastically dwindle each month, I wish more and more we’d opted just to elope. There’s so much more we could be doing with the money we’ve saved than paying for a one day event. I’m just hoping we’ll think it’s all worth it in the end!
I am sometimes on the verge of eloping too! We are paying for most of the wedding costs ourselves and while we haven’t purchased anything yet I am tallying up the quotes and the costs are so huge! I just got out of debt (except my car of course) and we want to buy a house. My FI keeps saying we will just get a loan (says the man who has never had anything but a truck loan and who is not the major breadwinner in this relationship) and pay it off with any monetary wedding gifts we receive. I’m ok with that to the toon of a thousand or so on credit card but that’s it! I want to be able to retire some day and if it means having to go cheap on the wedding I will! I hated being in debt and know that it adds a lot of pressure to a relationship, something I don’t want. We also expect to have to get another car loan soon so that just adds to the monthly payments.
I worked the morning shift at UPS loading trucks, before going to my “real” job. The lie I tell myself is that I’m being paid to work out. MY FH said that we couldn’t live in a fondant house. I know it’s the right decision. “It’s not complicated. Just hard.”
ditto Goaime - When we got engaged, FI and I changed our lifestyle. We eat out less, buy our movies tickets at costco, bring lunch at work and among other things.
We also made 2 rules if the vendor is out of our budget we’re not going to even think about it and unless we have the cash in the bank we’re not having it.
So far we haven’t used our credit card. Also, since we are paying for the wedding ourselves and don’t want to spend arm and a leg we opted for a small wedding (~60 guests). Maybe you can cut down on guests list?
HTH
We’re in the same boat, too, and our wedding is 50 days away! We swore not to use credit cards unless we can pay them off immediately, but I think we’re going to end up about $5K in debt for the wedding. We’re scrimping and saving at home, plus cutting wedding costs where we can, but I worry about it every day.
I feel your stress, and I wish you the best!
Our deal is that I pay the household bills and FI pays the wedding bills. But I wind up using “my” money for misc wedding supplies! As long as I can pay the caterer and the photographer I think I’ll be ok!
We cut back on eating out to help us save money.
Not sure how it works up there in the Great White North, but you might look into switching credit card companies to find one that offers super-low or even zero % interest on balance transfers and purchases for an introductory period. That way, at least you aren’t accumulating interest while you pay down the debt after the wedding.
Hang in there, Hum!
Since we are paying for everything ourselves and FI just wanted to elope, we had to compromise somehow. One way I thought we could save $$$ is to have a destination wedding. But Hawaii is expensive! We’re only inviting 45ppl and expect about half will attend. We will have a minimoon instead of a full on honeymoon. We’re gonna stay in a rinky-dink hotel room for the first week so we can ’splurge’ a little the second week on a nice room. I’m trying to pay for things a little at a time so when it comes time to settle up w/our vendors, it won’t hit us so hard. With all costs, I’m at about 11k….3k more than I wanted to spend! Looks like we might not have that AHR after all…
I’m very lucky have generous parents who are footing the bill. We have a set budget with them, and FI will pay (probably on credit card) whatever balance is left. But that doesn’t mean I don’t stress about money each and every day. Like Littlefoot, we did the destinationwedding thing to cut on guest list. But I’ll also second her comment that Hawaii is expensive! What’s helped me immensely the past two weeks is NEGOTIATING and just being up front with all potential vendors. I’ve been able to cut about 20-40% on different vendor services I’ve dealt with this week.
Also cutting back on eating out, shopping, and saving little amounts here and there to pay for things myself (i.e. hair and makeup, BM dresses, etc)
I am going to book the venue today and you just reminded me to negotiate hard because there are many more expenses to follow. Thank you
This post really hit home and so did all of the great comments! Somehow it softens the blow to my wallet.
Doing a destination wedding gave me and my FI more bang for our buck and even though it may cost our guests more, I think it will be a special event that we will all remember. Afterall, how many times do you get to take a trip with so many of your closest friends and family all at the same time?
ugh, i feel ya. i’ve always considered myself fairly good with money, never had debt, never bought things unless i had the cash…
but within a year, my parents both became unemployed, meaning not only could they help with the wedding, they had to stop paying for school. so now i’ve got 30k in student loans, and will be adding another 10k for my next year of school… plus we’re looking at a 5k wedding that’s all on us. it makes me a little sick to my stomach, but we’ve already cut out a lot, and what’s left is really important to us… so we’re biting the bullet. somehow, we’ll manage. :/
In addition, anyone who has money in savings should make sure it is in a high yield account, such as the ones from ING. The difference in interest (ING pays around 4%; most brick and mortar banks around 0.7%) can really add up.
Anyone can with ING account can give you a referral too - which puts $25 extra in your pocket.
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Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist Engagement Date: May 4, 2007 Wedding Date: June 28, 2008 Blogging Since: September 18, 2007 Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property. About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
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