Wedding Blog
As I was reading my previous posts, I realized that I haven’t really given a background on my complicated Flamingo family. I attempted to explain a bit during my January broadcast, but let’s just say that didn’t work out very well.
I need to draw all of you a picture. (’cuz I need visuals… and believe me you will need them too)
To give you an idea: My sisters aren’t my sisters, My grandpa isn’t my grandpa and my stepmother is best friends with my mom. For a more detailed explanation look here.
Daddy Flamingo got married with his high school sweetheart and had two girls. (Hence the blue and yellow make green concept) They divorced and Daddy Flamingo got custody of the two girls. (The girls were 5 and 2 at the time).
Then Daddy Flamingo met Mommy Flamingo. Regardless of their 15 year gap, Mommy flamingo, 19 at the time, took care of the two girls as though they were her own children. Two years later she had two girls, me and my younger sister. (I know, blue and red make purple, but that would be weird to change the color of my beautiful pink icon.) Technically the two older girls are my half-sisters, but since we were raised together the half doesn’t even exist. We consider ourselves to be real sisters… we are so close and I love them all so much.
When I was 5 and my baby sister was 2, my parents separated (for the record they never got married). Since my mom was not the biological mother of the 2 older girls, Daddy Flamingo kept them and my baby sister and I went with my mom. I must admit I took it very hard, but I was lucky since my parents never really fought even after the separation.
Daddy Flamingo then met my stepmother (in gray). To be honest at first it was hard having someone labeled your step-mother. I always thought that meant something negative, like the wicked stepmother in Cinderella and her mini-sidekick Lucifer the cat.
Source: Google Images
Time passed, we all matured and then it happened - my mom became really close friends with my stepmom. I mean really close, to the point where they go shopping together with my dad and spend holidays together (Christmas, birthdays and all). This was extremely extremely strange at the beginning, but now it’s a blessing. How great is it to have all the people you love together laughing and in harmony. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 
After my mom got separated with my dad, she met my step-father several years later. He had 2 boys from his first marriage, so the family grew extremely quick. They got married in 1997, but divorced last year. They were together for 14 years I think, so it’s only fair to say that he was a big part of my life. Since they separated they have kept a great relationship. Once in a while he comes over to my mom’s place. I’m even inviting him to my wedding and my mom is perfectly okay with that. (Lets just hope he won’t bring a date - even if he did (which I personally don’t think he will) my mom would be okay with it…. though I think it would be extremely awkward).
Then comes the other complicated part. I tried to draw a picture but didn’t even know where to start. Hopefully my explanation will be good enough. My grandpa isn’t my real grandpa. Mommy Flamingo was adopted (temporarily) by her aunt and uncle (when she was 3 I believe). This was to help out my real grandmother because she had recently divorced and needed to get back on her feet . She asked her brothers and sisters to each take a child (there were 6) and off they went. My mom stayed the longest at her aunt and uncle’s house, until she was 16, so it was only normal that she considered her cousins to be her brothers and sisters and her aunt and uncle her second parents. When I came into this world…. I considered them my grandparents regardless of the whole complicated logistics of it.
So I have 3 sets of grandparents, 2 mothers, 1 father and 3 sisters. If that’s not complicated then I don’t know what is. Luckily Mr.Flamingo’s family is simple. Otherwise that would have been another post completely. What’s great about this is regardless… I will not have any issues with my guest list.
Am I the only one with complicated family ties? Do you have a reconstructed family? If so, how’s that coming along? And are you having issues with the wedding guest list because of it?
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Wow. I am in awe of having a family that big and complicated! I’m an only child, have one aunt who is married thus providing me with one uncle, and not one single first cousin. My family tree is more of a straight line than a tree!
Hahaha…I actually followed!
My parents divorced, then both married other people, so I had two sets of parents. Then my dad divorced my step-mom (aka bonus mom) and I kept her and he went on his merry way. My guy’s parents also divorced (oddly the same time mine did), and married other folks too. His mom married a total of four times. We have four moms and two dads as far as we can figure it, since we aren’t close to two of the guys (my biological father aka s*donor and his mom’s new husband).
My grandpa was also adopted, so I don’t even attempt that. Oh, and I have about a hundred cousins from my mom’s side. Amazingly enough, our guest list was 65.
I love your chart!!!!!
My family - is sort of similar, my grandpa isn’t my grandpa- my father and mother re-maried, my mother married my Uncle who is her cousin, and my Aunt is now my Grandmother…
Talk about branching out!
Oh, I almost forgot…
When my mom remarried, I gained two older step-brothers. Then when I was 15, she had my younger sister. When my bio-dad remarried, I gained a younger sister as well. So that’s two younger and two older, but I’ve always felt like an only child since they didn’t come along until later in my life.
Wow - you give me hope, in a weird way. I am going to be the stepmother (FI has two kids, he has custody). The kids are great, and are really happy about our marriage, but my FSD is still pretty attached to her mom. Not that I am thinking we will ever be good friends, absentee mom and I, but I do worry about what will happen when FSD gets married. FSS tolerates his mom and won’t be in the same room with her boyfriend, for whom she left my FI and the kids. My family just plain old nuclear family, no twists or turns. So this is all new to me!!
My family is complicated - my Dad is on wife #3 and my Mom on husband #4. I definitely understand the challenges that come with the mixed up families - I’m very close to some of my step-family, but there are others that I haven’t spoken with in years. It hasn’t really impacted our Guest List yet, but there’s still time 
Yeah I have a similar family tree with people who aren’t related but I call them grandma. Unfortunately those people won’t be able to make it to the wedding due to illness.
Girl, you have NO idea how complicated my family is.
I am the oldest of five HALF siblings. All my siblings are 1/2. But, we were all estranged individually and until recently, still were for almost 30 years.
My mom even went back to my “step”-father and had another child after I was born then got married to another man, had a child, and then went back to my step father and had another child. Madness!
Oh wow! People are confused when I call my step-sister my sister, I can’t imagine how confusing that must be! Love how you all get along.
My mom and dad divorced when I was 5. My “parents” (step-dad and bio mom) married when I was in third grade, and my step-sister has been my sister since! I like to think I have three parents: Dad, Mom, Dave/Step-Dad. My parents are all friends. FI’s parents are divorced, not so amicably. I’m a little worried how things will pan out, but hopeful it will go great!
So far the only guest list issues I’ve had are the size! Three families from me, and three from him has made the list balloon!
I don’t have a confusing family situation but I do have a unique one - my parents divorced when I was 6 but still get along ridiculously well. Neither have remarried and we are all still family even though they’re not married. This seems to confuse many people who are not members of our family. It’s not ‘normal’ but it’s our normal! I’m incredibly lucky to have the parents I do and the relationship they have. My fiance’s family is rather unique as well - he is the only child of his parents’ second marriage, and there is a significant age gap between his parents. So he has siblings who are much older than him and more like aunts and uncles than siblings. But we are including them all in the wedding events as siblings, in an effort to keep everyone happy!
Wow… you are one of the first people I have “met” that almost rivals my own. While I was raised from birth having a grandma and two aunts on my dad’s side, he didn’t meet them until he was thirty. He was raised by his grandmother (while his two half brothers were raised- in the same town!- by his father and stepmother). My mother has two brothers who refuse to be in the same room together (one who runs a business and ones several homes has threatened, in all seriousness, to kill the one living in a trailer!)
Unfortunately, my two half sister from my fathers first marriage have never gotten over the original hatred of my mother. Their weddings were strife with intentional snubs, miscommunications and hurt feelings. It has seriously damaged my relationship with them.
Oh, I forgot to mention, I’m about to be a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding, and I think she has all of us beat: Both her parents are on their third marriages, and she has: one full biological brother, two half brothers, two step brothers, and an ex step sister and brother who she was raised with. And thats on one side! The other she has an additional step brother and step sister. Wheh! Can’t wait for those weddings.
My parents divorced when I was 5. They both remarried. I have a biolgical brother and two step sisters, although they are my sisters since we were so young when our families blended. My grandpa is my fathers step father… and he has three half brothers. My fiance has 3 boys who will be my step sons… we have a huge blended family on all sides… but no matter blood related or not we all love each other endlessly!
Miss Flamingo, I love knowing other blended families who get a long so well! It’s great!
Hurray for not being the only one with a complicated family!!! I understand how all of yous might feel.
Its great though if you all get along regardless the divorces, separation and added siblings. I hope you have it all easy when it comes to the guest list.
I am not sure what but I like the idea of seating new people together…kinda intermingling the families
That was a really cute illustration! I must say…you are truly blessed to have a big, warm family…regarldess of how complicated it may seem!
I too have a complicated family structure. Parents divorced when I was five and both remarried shortly after. My sister and I spent everyday together from my birth to the end of her highschool though so we are VERY close.
So I have four parents, 6 grandparents and one great grandparent, one older sister, two older brothers (one step and one Brother in Law) and the recent addition of my sisters triplets two nieces and one nephew. That is just my immediate family, you can see where it goes from here.
My FI only has one set of parents and one sister. Luckily FI has taken quite well to my loud/large family and our domination of the guest list
Ours is pretty complicated. I have five siblings. so it’s pretty big to start. Then my parents both re-married, so I have four more step-siblings (two on each side). My fiancé has two sisters, plus a half-brother on his dad’s side.
So, between us we have eight parents and twelve siblings. can’t complain, really!
My family situation is a bit complicated too: father died and mom remarried our childhood freinds’ uncle so now our friends are cousins and now we have three sets of g’parents, aunts and uncles, etc. Made things tough for planning a small wedding!
I do have a question for everyone though. Does your parents multiple marriages concern you about your ability to get it right the first time?
I’m almost 30 and have ‘adoptive’ ‘half’ (?) sil’s and bil who are 14, 13, 11, and 9. Three Russian and one is Romanian. Sweetest kids - but it’s still weird to have a 9 year old SIL!!
I met my hubby via Match so our first two weeks of getting to know each other was via IM. I remember on our first date being like - ok now explain this siblings thing to me, one sister, one step sister, 3 adoptive sisters and adoptive brother - WHAT??!! It took awhile to learn everyone’s names
My family is a little less exciting. Interestingly my mom’s father (who was divorced from my grandmother when my mom was in high school - her brother still doesn’t talk to him over it!) is still really close friends with my great aunts (grandmother’s sisters, grandmother passed away years ago) He’s still part of the ‘family’ even though he divorced out of it and has been remarried twice since!
I’m right there with you Miss Flamigo! My parents never divorced, but my grandpa isn’t my real grandfather. My father was adopted by his uncle at the age of six and raised in the complete absence of his biological family. He didn’t know he had brothers and sisters from his biological parents until he was about to get married! He grew up his whole life with his cousins whom he considered his brothers and sister.
My father has a relationship with his biological parents now, but he is still OBVIOUSLY very close to the people he considers his real parents (his adoptive parents). Recently, my adoptive grandpa passed and my whole family was devastated. My father’s biological mom was offended (as were his biological siblings) that my entire family took it so hard because to them, he’s just an Uncle. To us, he was the person who dropped us off at school in the morning and waited at home when we got off the bus!
For my wedding invitations, I asked that my adoptive grandparents be listed as my grandparents and not my biological ones (I don’t have a positive relationship with them at all! NOT ONE BIT!). My parents (never wanting to offend anyone) want me to put my biological gp’s on one and have another set for my adoptive gp’s side of the family! WHAT IN THE WORLD?!
If you thought that was bad, ha! My FI has it worse! He was taken in by his aunt and uncle (I say taken in because to adopt, you’d actually have to care for the child and they used him as free labor and made him sleep on the couch when they had extra bedroom available) when he was ten. He has not seen or heard from his biological mother since then. His father calls occassionaly and asks him to send money, but always refuses to see him. Now that we’re getting married, I suggested he just ask everyone for permission. His father refused to answer his calls. His aunt and uncle are unwilling to marry him as he “is not [their] real son” and when his cousin/sister finally tracked down his real mother who lives in the same city we do (we never knew that), she refuses to accept him as a son as “he is dead” to her. She has a new life with her new husband and children.
So how do you put that on an invitation?! I come from a highly traditional family so people want to see birth orders on the invitation. It’s been a constant sore point and everytime we get around to discussing it, it only brings tears and fighting. It’s probably the worst part of my wedding planning and it’s not something I’ve shared with anyone until now. When people ask how the planning is going, I give them the honest truth about all the good stuff (because everything ELSE is going amazingly well) but I never bring this up. In keeping with Asian tradition, I try not air my family’s dirty laundry.
Funny, because I’m doing it here, now.
As to your question about the wedding guest list… GOOD GRIEF! I come from a huge family with lots of brothers and sisters that my parents had and then the four that they adopted (as for my elders - my dad has 5 adoptive siblings and 9 biological siblings and to top that off… my mother is the youngest of 13!!!! children) and I cannot exclude anyone from the festivities. On top of that, my father is a well connected businessman and he’s inviting his business contacts who have literally watch me grow up (my dad used to take me to meetings and have me sit in a chair next to him so I could learn - he groomed me for business since I was like, 5! It also helped me learn vietnamese!). Then of course, there are all mine and FI’s friends. EEKS!
As it stands, we have booked the reception hall for 520 guests with a retainer of three extra tables (ten people each). It’s very painful because I have a nine (9) course meal and then the cake at the end. I’ve begged my parents to cut people out, but they don’t want to offend anyone. HAHAHA!
Well, that’s my messed up family. I hope it makes you feel better. I sympathize with you!
Oh my! 520 guests… thats crazy. Im having a 150 guest wedding (of just family) and thought that was alot.
I understand you 110% hang in there!
Thanks! I figured with so many guests, I had to start my DIY projects early. I’ve made all of my church programs, but I’m waiting on bridal pictures to put inside of them (seems weird, but the whole book itself will be a great keepsake!). My next project is painting all the terra cotta pots for my centerpieces to match my theme and color palette. I’m actually super excited about this one. hehehe!
It’s incredible how something so complicated can be so simple- family is family. You’re blessed to have such a terrific attitude about it!
I am totally with you on this. My side of the family is really complicated, not to mention huge and the divorce situation is a little odd because my parents never didn’t get along. On the other hand my FI’s family is really simple. The immediate family is large (he’s one of 5) but the extended family is not as his dad is an only and his mom just has 2 sisters and all of his grand parents have passed away. I am also bilogically 1 of 5 (the youngest is a half) with 3 quasi steps. My dad has been dating the same person for about 14 years and she has 3 kids that grew up with my dad as thier dad (thiers lives 8 hours away and they only see him afew times a year) and while Dad & his girlfriend live 2 hours away 2 of her kids (now in thier mid 20s) still live with my dad but all of us are out of the house. Plus my Mom is remairried and has my youngest brother (he is 25 years younger than me). My Mom’s parents have passed away during my parents marriage but she is so close to my grandmother (who has 7 children, 17 biological grandchildren, 4 great grandchildren + 1 on the way, & 2 step great grandchildren) that my grandmother considers my little brother her grandson even though there is no legal or biological relationship. What’s one more. My Mom has 2 sisters and my step dad has 2 brothers (one with 4 kids) and also comes with a set of parents (who I knew long before I knew him) and a wonderful set of grandparents. (Great Grandma & Great Grandpa are really sweat). However My parents didn’t divorce until I was 18 so my relationships are a little odd.
Im definitely not as complicated as some (everyone is who they are supposed to be!) but i still get the ?? face from people.
Mom and Dad got married young (hi! i was a surprise!) and divorced when i was two. Mom remarried when i was 6, had my 1/2 brother. Dad got remarried when i was 12, had my 1/2 sister. They both got divorced from spouse #2 (both of whom could take a long walk off a short pier and i don’t think anyone would be any worse off…) then mom remarried to step dad#2, who had a daughter, enter step sister. Dad got remarried to step mom#2 who had two sons, enter step brother #1 and #2. Yeah. Birthdays and holidays are fun. My mom and dad are still best friends and talk more than i talk to either one of them, though mom is convinced stepmom hates her. Oy.
FH’s parents are also divorced, though his mom never remarried, his dad remarried twice. No extra kids, just his insane sister. His mom still resents his dad, so yeah, seperate seating for them! holy crap, i have to figure out seating for this insanity! omg.
[...] I’ve written about my complicated family tree, I thought I’d continue on with my not so symmetrical bridal party. When Mr. Flamingo and I [...]
[...] my mind. This past Wednesday while having my weekly family supper at my dad’s house (remember my parents are separated) I asked my sisters to try on the dresses because I wanted to take pics and blog about [...]
Ms. Flamingo: I know, I’m way late on this post, but I’m going through reading all of your posts (which I’m thoroughly enjoying), and had to comment here. I aways feel like I need a map to draw out my family as well. I’m an only child, but have 4 brothers and a sister. My dad was married to wife A, had 2 boys (2 of my brothers, well half-brothers), then married wife B (my mom) and had me, then married wife C and had no children. Wife C had a previous marriage in which she had a son, my mom remarried a man who was previously married and had a son and a daughter. 3 of these siblings are now married with kids, so I have 3 nephews and a niece, then one of the brothers is already on his second marriage and may have a child there. So yes, I am with you!! 5 siblings, 4 parents, 8 grandparents. People always get very confused, so I hear you. Fiance’s family couldn’t get more simple. His parents were both young when they had him, 17 and 18, and are still together!!! Craziness, I know. But then he has one little sister (8 years younger) and that’s it. Boo for boring families! Haha. I think it’s more fun this way
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Mrs. Flamingo, Montreal, Canada
Age and Occupation: 25, Graphic Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Nursing Student
Engagement Date: December 2004
Wedding Date: June 21, 2008
Venue: Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)
About Me: I am a passionate designer who loves anything pretty. I heart all paper products (eco-friendly of course). My passion revolves around anything considered glamour; vintage and modern. In my free time, I love reading Martha mags, designing jewelry and making a pit-stop at Starbucks for a chai latte. I'm also a chocoholic at heart and my family drools over my homemade truffles.
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