… And After My Dress Ripped, He Fainted, And The Minister’s Wig Caught On Fire
February 12th, 2008 @ 3:28 pm by Mrs. Shortcake
Because nothing says nightmare-producing procrastination like
WEDDING BLOOPERS!
Why kids at weddings aren’t always the best idea:
Why lamaze classes should be pre-reqs for your vows:
Why outdoor ceremonies are sometimes a safer choice:
Why you should always choose polydent:
So, just because I really need fodder for my worry-wartism, I ask you married bees out there - what went wrong at your wedding?
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16 Responses to “… And After My Dress Ripped, He Fainted, And The Minister’s Wig Caught On Fire”
Pretty minor stuff. Nothing as bad as a fire or a drunken cake…
We got lost.
I forgot exactly how to get to the venue. Yep, I never drove there, so I only had a rough idea (my directional abilities have improved since then I promise). Well, my future brother-in-law swears he knew how to get there. And he did…only it took us an hour longer.
It rained.
We moved everyone inside, so it happened anyway. The sad part was that because it hadn’t rained in so long, there were several car accidents. I spent a lot of time worrying about my guests.
Like I said, nothing terrible and people still said it was the most fun they had at a wedding in a long time.
OMG! That one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen!!!!!! That one where the priest was reaching into the bride’s boobage! WHOA!
Well if you ask my husband it would be that no one woke him up to start getting ready. This added time pressure is not good for a very nervous (anxiety prone) groom!! The photographer knocked on his door to take his ‘getting ready’ pics - and he was still in the middle of shaving - with lots of little bleeding nics! (We were staying at a B&B - which is where the wedding and reception was too) He had been taking a nap after a morning round of golf.
Also about 10 minutes before they ceremony I get a knock on the door asking for his cuff links. Um “Tell him I gave them to him to pack in his bag”. Then I get no response - so I’m worrying - did he find them? Do I have them somewhere? Someone keep me updated please!! haha 
The caterers forgot to serve the chocolate covered strawberries with the cake! 
Our car that was taking us to our hotel by the airport (1.5 hour) drive so we’d be ready for our 6am flight had a flat tire on the way and ended up being 1.5 hours late. Instead of picking us up at 9pm he didn’t get there until 10:30! Which means we got to our hotel at midnight and I had to get up by 4am to wash all the crap outta my hair and head to the airport! UGH! It definitely wasn’t a relaxing/nice hotel stay our first night of being married! It was like sleep now!
Nothing big - only little things!!
The day everyone arrived my 2 month old niece pooped all over me! Like gushing out the side of her diaper pooped all over me! Luckily I have quick reflexes to hold her out away from my body and it wasn’t the day of our wedding when I was wearing my dress!! haha. I think it did scar my husband for life though! “Babies do THAT!” ewwwww!!
Freakin hilarious!
Here’s a horror story, not mine but a family friends:
The bride bought a beautiful dress and shoes, the whole 9 yards, at Neiman Marcus. They were to deliver it to the church before the wedding. They deliver everything to the bride’s room and the wedding prior to hers took all of it accidentally. They couldn’t track down anyone from the wedding so after many not so nice calls to NM, she ended up walking down the aisle in the sample that she was measured in. I don’t know what shoes she wore. She finally got all of her bridal ensemble back, but ended up selling it because she never got to wear it for her own wedding. That story scares me every day!
The fainting happens when people lock their knees
Like Jama said, the people are fainting because they’ve been standing with their knees locked for too long. So remember - for long ceremonies, remember to tell those who are standing to bend their knees a bit or else they cut off their circulation and faint.
Ah, thanks for the info! I’ll be sure to remind my peeps about that - maybe i’ll sit them down and show them the video… “this is what we DON’T want happening to anyone… so bend your knees, dammit!”
Hi Shortcake!
I think it’s interesting that it’s mostly GROOMS who pass out.
I heard a pretty horrible story about a friend of a friend — everything was in place the day of the wedding and then it sort of fell to pieces from there. The photographer they had booked had to back out the day of the wedding b/c he had gotten robbed the day before and a lot of his equipment was stolen/broken, so they didn’t have any documentation of the day. Then I believe there was a fire involved, flame from candles catching something on fire in the ceremony. There may have been more issues during the reception but when they flew out for their honeymoon, the hotel they were staying at had lost their reservations and they were booked full so basically they had to sleep on a tiny cot the entire time. needless to say, they were already making plans for a do-over. I felt so bad for the bride when I heard that story…I can only hope the second time was more positive!
It rained. (outdoor wedding/reception)
A tree from the storm fell on our DJ’s trailer. DJ threated to sue.?
A tiki torch we had up for the ceremony burned off/fell off and was burning on the ground. thank goodness we had cleared leaves and pre-ceremony drinks, people poured their water/lemonade on it.
The only thing that noticably went wrong was our limo was late to pick us up. Not that big of a deal. It seemed worse at the time.
The only thing that went wrong for us… one of our tall centerpieces came crashing down on one of the tables. It wasn’t balanced right or something, I don’t know. but it toppled over and glass and water covered the entire table. Thankfully our coordinator gathered the crew and reset the table asap.
That sucked, but I didn’t let that get to me too much… I stayed busy dancing.
My veil fell out of my hair mid-ceremony (during the sign of peace), but I was able to shove it back in there successfully, so that wasn’t too huge a deal. (I’m kinda sad my photographers didn’t catch it on film!)
Then my new grandfather-in-law stepped on my (somewhat expensive to “install”) bustle right before dinner started, and broke two points of the 3-point dealio. Thank goodness my one Best Woman’s (which is what I called my Matrons of Honor) mom was in attendance and she’s an awesome seamstress in a pinch. The dress was too heavy to pin, so she sewed the top bustle point to the dress itself, and I was able to dance the night away without issue!
In hindsight, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but because we were doing our first dance right after dinner, and I had popped the pin that held the bustle in place for our first attempt at a fix as I sat down, I couldn’t enjoy a bite of it, I was so bothered by the thought of it all. So silly!
I attended a wedding where some kid pulled the fire alarm in the church in the middle of the ceremony. It was packed, people were standing in the back, and some someone was holding their baby standing next to the fire alarm! That’s what happens when not everyone has a seat, I guess.
Nothing earth shattering at our wedding… but:
The coordinator couldn’t find the directions to the reception and asked me… I freaked a tad!
We ran out of appetizer’s before the bridal party got there - we have big eaters…
Our wedding cake wasn’t in the fridge and started to lean!
Other than that, it went smoothly!
Mrs. Shortcake, Vancouver
Age and Occupation: 24, Marketing Manager/Children's Lit Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Master's Student/Personal Trainer
Engagement Date: August 7, 2007
Wedding Date: October 2008
Blogging Since:
Venue: Ceremony in a historic church, tented lawn reception at a golf and country club
About Me: 1950's housewife sent to the future, reborn as crafting-obsessed, jill of all trades. I enjoy decorating, writing, baking sweet things, singing show tunes/dancing in public, wearing pearls, and knitting sweaters for my furbaby, Harvey, to chew upon. I heart pink, and believe that sparkles are the new black.
Why do so many people faint?!?! I’ve never fainted, so I don’t understand the circumstances… I hope it’s not rude of me to think it looks hilarious!