Weddingbee

I AM SO EXCITED!

FOR THIS:

board rashes: friction burns/cuts caused by jumping/sliding on to/up your board. Most often on hands, tummy, and thighs. Hurts like a mo-fo. Known to weep and bleed over your regular clothes and make you swear like a sea-farin drunkard.

AND THIS:

even-aloe-vera-can’t-save-you-now: extreme sun burns on strange parts of your body not covered by your rash guard/board shorts. Known to flake off at inopportune moments and necessitate strange sleeping positions.

coral cuts: cuts and lesions caused by falling off of your board and being raked along the coral. Prone to infection because of constant salt-water exposure. Prone to leaving braggable scars.

See also: ‘sand facial’

For the non squeamish, killer coral cuts:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jesebo/67820706/

So, why, in any-deity’s-name am I so excited about getting hurt? Because it’s FUN! Those pictures were taken on my sister and I’s last trip to Oahu, where we spent almost five whole days of our trip in the ocean, “catching waves” with a local on our body-boards. What is body-boarding, you ask?

Body-boarding (BB) uses a smaller board than surfing “longboards,” and accordingly, the way you catch and ride a wave is different. BB is done mostly supine, though advanced and expert boarders will be seen riding their boards on their knees, on their hands, and doing all sorts of amazing aerial manoeuvers (think skate boarding).

shooting the curl. Sister shortcake did this, and I nearly peed my boardshorts with envy!

Because you don’t have a ginormously long board to support you and help propel you through the water, body boarders wear fins to motor them out to where the waves are breaking. This is the single most important tip for a beginner: WEAR FINS. You will get nowhere without them, literally! Another tip, wear the dorkiest thickest socks you have with your fins. This will help prevent blisters, and help you to take the flippers off when you’re done.

Sister and Miss Shortcake

MORE TIPS:

* Find a local surfing god, and make friends - FAST. Sister Shortcake and I met a local “Big Kahuna” at a cafe where he was working as a waiter, and the very next morning we were working the dawn patrol with him on Waikiki beach! You seriously will learn nothing by watching other boarders - you need the one-on-one feedback and know-how that only an expert can provide.

* Wear a rash guard - they don’t just make you look cool.
* Sex-wax-up your board, or you will never stay on.
* Invest in a good board, and one that’s appropriate to your height.
* Stay out of the way of long-board surfers. They ride the waves that are farther out, body-boarders ride more inland waves as they break. If you cross paths - GET OUT OF THE WAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN! They will run you over, and you will get coral scars all over your body from being dragged beneath them. (again, if you’re brave)
* Wear waterproof sunscreen, and apply hourly.

* practice, practice, practice. It takes time to learn how to assess swell, time yourself, and catch waves - nevermind stay on them!
* Once you’re on a wave, keep those legs tight together, keep one arm on your board, and use the other to swim as FAST as you can. If you do this properly, the wave will literally ‘catch’ you and your board (it feels like a water hug) and shoot you down all the way to the beach with it. If you get really good, that wave will take you UP the beach as well - it only happened once to me, but I ended up, on my board, on somebody’s picnic towel, making the rock out signs with my hands. And they applauded. Highlight of my life, I think so!

Oh, and avoid rocks.

And our hotel on Waikiki Beach is pretty “gnarly” too…

The Wyland Waikiki (named after and designed by the environmental artist, Wyland

the sculpture garden

lobby

ocean pool

lounge

other lounge

our bedroom

the library

the bar

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So we’re going to Oahu for two weeks on our honeymoon, and we’re going to spend the entire time body-boarding !
….well, maybe not the entire time…

…we also want to learn how to surf.

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