When To Save And When To Splurge…

When To Save And When To Splurge…

February 13th, 2008 @ 2:39 pm by Mrs. Hummingbird
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When I first started working on putting this whole crazy day together, wedding magazines overwhelmed me with stuff I had to have or fancy little art projects I had to do. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fall under the spell of some of it. As I’ve mentioned before in my blogging, sometimes it’s hard to focus on what can actually and practically be done. After all, Martha Stewart’s Siren Song is pretty loud here in wedding world and has caused many a good crafter to crash/have a nervous breakdown in the midst of wedding planning.

However, a lot of the time, as much as we hate to admit it, all of the stress and panicked phone calls to try and find more Stardust paper is often for nothing, because 90 per cent of the things we do for our weddings go unnoticed by most of our wedding guests.

Before becoming a bride, I fully admit to being an unobservant wedding guest. Not intentionally of course, but as someone not in that arena of life, I didn’t know all the work and decision making that went into doing everything. This fact became glaringly obvious to me when I got engaged and first sat down to talk details with Erin, my Matron of Honour and FSIL Hummingbird.

Even though I had been to her wedding two years prior and had a good time, I found myself asking her what were probably borderline ridiculous and annoying questions as a result of my blindness to all things bridal (”You wore a veil? Really?”)

Now that I am on the other side of things, though I certainly have areas of the wedding I feel are important and am willing to splurge on, to save myself some stress (and in some cases money), I have tried to think like a guest again to survey my wedding plans to see what is important. If I were a guest, would I notice and/or appreciate letterpressed coasters? Probably not. Would I enjoy water or juice while I was waiting for the outdoor ceremony to get underway? Heck ya!

So while my plans to handcraft 100 invitations with supplies from the expensive paper place in our old neighbourhood may have fallen by the wayside, I feel pretty good about splurging a little more on adorable and delicious favours for our guests.

How about it, hive? Where have you saved and where have you splurged while planning your wedding?

Tags: budget, toronto |

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8 Responses to “When To Save And When To Splurge…”

Member

Angel (message) 1,263 posts, Bumble bee

Such a good post. I’ve been reading guests’ gripes and complaints on other websites to remember guest empathy.

I also went the invite DIY route, and boy did I throw so much stress at those things. I also wasted a bunch of gasoline driving around to find the perfect colors. Sigh…I’m certainly wiser now. But I digress.

We spent more on nice chairs for our guests, many of whom aren’t comfortable sitting for long periods of time. I wanted guests to stay for a while, so we did the sit down test on a couple different chairs before going with a nice padded, sturdy number. I also was obsessed with offering every beverage under the sun. I think I was trying to make up for the fact that we didn’t have alcohol, but you can bet no one went thirsty. We also splurged on a caricature artist.

Of the stuff guests might enjoy, we cut back on programs (none for our 10 minute ceremony) and music (no one dances in our family).

2/13/08 @ 2:50 pm (reply)

Guest

ErinMarieMack

I love that you are planning a guest-centered wedding! We are too! I ordered bottles of water with labels that tell our story(We met at the Kentucky Derby.) on them to put on each chair for the reception, have hired charter buses to take guests to/from our cite (We are having the ceremony/reception in the same place. (www.lionscrestmanor.com)), and ordered a chocolate fountain for some extra fun! We are also having a welcome party at the main hotel (mostly appetizers, soda and dessert) the night before the wedding in order to greet our mostly out of town guests.

2/13/08 @ 2:56 pm (reply)

Guest

Miss History

I love this post because in a lot of ways I can relate. I see the wonderful invitations, bridesmaid cards and other paper items produced by the bees and the knotties and sit in awe. I love letterpress and each time I go back to look, admire and drool, I always hit the price button and snap back into reality. For me, I am saving on invitations. It is really just a piece of paper, most guests will throw away and hardly something for which I am willing to break the bank. For us the extra money is being spent on better alcohol, better food, and transporation for the wedding party. We also took into account our disatisfaction with long waits between ceremony and reception and went for a Friday afternoon wedding. I am guessing that my wedding may not look like something out of a magazine, but it will be us, splurges, saves and all!

2/13/08 @ 3:16 pm (reply)

Guest

Guilty Secret

Guest empathy - such an important thing to remember!

2/13/08 @ 3:47 pm (reply)

Member

Buckeye (message) 61 posts, Worker bee

I loved this post, its a great reminder that its a celebration with and of your family and friends, and not just the two getting married. We’re trying to keep that in mind and plan details that the guests will remember mostly FOOD, we’re having ice cream w/ our cake, and a candy buffet. They may have lots o’ cavities, but at least they’ll be happy!

2/13/08 @ 5:09 pm (reply)

Guest

Sarah

We saved on paper goods, flowers, and reception music; we splurged on ceremony music and food.

One of our three biggest costs was transportation and housing for the wedding party. That’s something all the guides say is their own problem, but we got married in a pricey location, and we had grad students we wanted there with us.

2/13/08 @ 7:02 pm (reply)

Guest

Rachel

Like the others, I am so glad to read this post. When my mother and I had the “budget” talk, where she told me what she and my dad were willing to contribute (which was way more than I was expecting!), I remember my first thought - and what I ultimately told her - was “Gee, if you can’t throw a nice party for that, then there’s something wrong with you!” Because, although it is about joining as man and wife, it is ultimately a big party.

Like you, I have totally been under the spell of the bridal magazines and the myriad of bridal websites out there - wedding porn - only to question whether or not the monetary amount my parents are contributing, which I thought was such a huge amount at first, will really be enough. Argh!!!!!

But I’ve started to see through the fog, throw away the magazines (after tearing out cool “idea” pictures) and look for more DIY and budget conscious options. We’re printing our own invites, not having programs, doing our own centerpieces, using a photographer who is building her portfolio (but is still awesome!), and going with a caterer who may not be “fancy” but serves good simple food. We will have beer and wine at our wedding, but we’re providing it instead of going through a caterer.

You are so right - most people will only remember the details (even the “big” ones) if they are truly awful or truly over-the-top amazing. Especially if they take advantage of the free beer and wine….

2/13/08 @ 8:20 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Cream Puff (message) 227 posts, Helper bee

I would love to say that I have thought this through and actually made some decisions to leave things out. However. I am LOVING the DIY crafting stuff. For me, it’s turning into “what will I remember?” vs. “What will they notice?” I’m hoping they’ll notice a lot of the little details because they’ll all be obviously different from other weddings they’ve been to, and there will be little things for them to read and stuff. We’ll see, though.