I Miss My Mommy
February 19th, 2008 @ 11:00 am by Mrs. Shortcake
There are certain things you think about when you have the flu. Things like,“omg, I am going to die, seriously, I am going to die, why am I not dead yet? Somebody, please shoot me, because I am going to die”
and
“my bed hurts too much, so I am going to sleep on the cold, hard tile because that will be more comfortable”
but mostly,
“I miss my mommy”
But do you know what the funny thing is?
That’s one of the things I think about the most during my wedding planning, everyday since I left my family in Vancouver and moved out to Winnipeg for Mr. Shortcake’s Masters degree.
They say planning a destination wedding is difficult. I would like to correct ‘them’ (whomever “they” may be), and note that planning a wedding long-distance is HARD. But it’s not the constant emailing, and it’s not the fact that I have to book vendors, sight/product unseen. It’s the fact that I don’t get to do these things in person, with the people I love the most.
(insert old embarassing picture here)
TOP ROW: my sister/moh, my mom, a cousin
BOTTOM ROW: my sister/BM, a cousin, me
* Note: I miss my dad too, but I’m not including a picture because he’s shy 
It’s emotionally very hard to plan your wedding alone - to shop for and pick out your wedding dress alone. Although the phone and email help, they really can’t take the place of an excited sibling trying on ugly bridesmaid dresses for you, or a mother wiping away tears that’s she’s pretending not to have as you step out in “THE” dress.
It’s not the same. And visiting once or twice for a couple of days each before the wedding doesn’t make up for anything.
And so, as I crawl back into and burrow beneath my covers, I would like to note that,
I miss you, Mommy.
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25 Responses to “I Miss My Mommy”
me too! Although I’ve lived 1000 miles away from my folks for 7 years, the distance has never seemed as great as during wedding planning. My mommy was just here this last weekend to help with the planning. It was such a relief to show her our venues and we picked up my dress (we both cried!). And, yes, I still call her everytime I am sick!
I just wanted to say good luck to you and all the “long-distance-planning-brides” out there … My mum is not very far away, but very busy with her job, so I kinda have the same feeling sometimes, and it’s truly hard, especially when you’re not very “talkative” about your feelings with your family.
CHEER UP, after all … YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED !!!
A little post from a French bride … (sorry about my poor english writing)
I understand you 110%. Whenever I puke (sorry for the graphic image) I always seem to call out for my mom… haha
I find it so funny.
I hear you! I’m planning my Indiana wedding from New York where I moved to be closer to my fiance. My mom is so helpful and we get a lot done when I come to visit, but it is definitely hard to do these things from far away without the friends and family to help! Especially the dress - I had to show it to her at a local bridal salon after I had already purchased it so she could see what it looked like. I know she would have liked to have been there when I found it.
ahhh- I’m sure your mom is totally feeling the same way!
(& your note about wanting to sleep on cold, hard tile when sick cracks me up b/c it’s sooo spot-on!)
My little sister is actually deploying to the Middle East at the end of the month and will be trying to continue planning her August wedding in Colorado from there… that’s a whole ‘nother version of “long distance” for ya… (she posted more about that here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-wouldnt-want-free-photography )
u know…i miss my mom too. but i have a different situation.
i am actually living with my parents before the wedding but the mother daughter bff dynamic isnt’ there. and I really expected it to be.
my feelings are hurt and I must admit I am confused. I guess she’s just trying to adjust to the many changes going on in her life.
I hope she gets adjusted pretty soon.
Two years ago, after living halfway across the country I moved back to the town where I grew up and bought a house a block from my parents. Since mom only got to do long-distanct planning for my sister’s wedding (4 years ago) she is really involved in my planning - and driving me crazy!!
Adult mother-daughter friendships take some time to adjust to changes. We had a really rocky few months when I moved back - and I wasn’t even living with them! But I was used to a lot more distance, a lot less day-to-day involvement, and so was mom. Finding the balance between how we interacted when I lived in Colorado (often, but completely by phone) and totally smothering me (showing up at my house every day) was hard.
Honestly, planning and shopping with her is either really fun or really awful, depending. I try to focus on the really fun parts.
Ditto to missing my mom and two little sisters… Trying dresses on with new friends is fun, but not the same as having family there!
I got choked up when FI and i went to look at the first of the venues we were considering. My family lives in Michigan and we’re having the wedding in Philadelphia and I miss having family to bounce ideas off of. But the FIL have been great and have offered to help me with anything I need but it still doesn’t make up for having my family to help me.
Thank you so much for making this post because I have been feeling the same thing and poor FI feels so guilty that he has family and friends close and I don’t. Somehow, reading this made me feel better about it and sort of less alone. I still miss my mommy but I’m not the only long-distance bride out there!
My FI and I moved to Seattle together this fall, but we’ll be married “at home” in Michigan in September. Planning from across the country is challenging, and just not as much fun. I miss my Mom too! It’s been even worse since she’s had some health issues that keep her from coming to visit. I bought my dress in Michigan and I am having a minor freak out about having the time and money to fly home for all the fittings. I know it’s going to need pretty extensive alterations. Any suggestions for me on the dress fitting from a far?
Sweet post. Love the Emma Buton pigtails on the whole clan. And your mom looks young enough to be a SISTER!
I live in South Carolina and my wedding will be in Michigan (where I grew up and where my family lives). I totally feel your pain! Not having my mom here to help me plan this wedding has been extremely emotional and very difficult. I just keep reminding myself how amazing my day will be and how special it will be for her and how both of us will probalby forget all about how far apart we were when the wedding was being planned
Your mom is stunning. You are too, I can see where you get it!
Awww… this post made me tear up.. I miss my mommy too. 
I’m planning my Cali wedding from across the the country and it sucks. *hugs* to you Miss. Shortcake!
i hear you. i miss my mommy too! planning a wedding away from a mommy is not fun. ditto dezziemon on the *hugs!*
Wow! Thank you for this post. I’m so relieved to see there are so many others in the same situation as me! I felt so alone in my struggle. But missuskatie (#12) basically wrote my post for me!
It’s so hard having to do all the mundane shopping alone or just with my FI. (Who has been a really good sport about it, with a little nudging.) FMIL is not far away, but we have completely different tastes, so that doesn’t work well at all. I’m lucky that “home” is only a 5 hour drive away, so I’m probably able to make the trip a little more often than some of you. But every visit there & every vendor meeting has to be planned out by the minute in order to THINK about getting everything done. It has been alot harder and more stressful than I ever imagined. I just hope the fun part starts soon!
I definitely call my mom and whine when I’m sick.
Luckily, she was a big help/part of our planning process. I think I would have been stressed (like she was) if I’d done as much. 
Maybe not, but she was great!
So sweet
Aww Nena! That was sooo sweet!
It brought a tear to my eye.
I know it’s hard for you to plan this all on your own, and I really wish I could be there for all the dress sessions and whatnot. Sadly, this is my first wedding too, so you’re not the only one experiencing it long-distance.
Te quiero mucho!
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Mrs. Shortcake, Vancouver
Age and Occupation: 24, Marketing Manager/Children's Lit Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Master's Student/Personal Trainer
Engagement Date: August 7, 2007
Wedding Date: October 2008
Blogging Since:
Venue: Ceremony in a historic church, tented lawn reception at a golf and country club
About Me: 1950's housewife sent to the future, reborn as crafting-obsessed, jill of all trades. I enjoy decorating, writing, baking sweet things, singing show tunes/dancing in public, wearing pearls, and knitting sweaters for my furbaby, Harvey, to chew upon. I heart pink, and believe that sparkles are the new black.
::sniffle:: I hear ya. I moved to Seattle from Iowa with FI so he could find a techie job. During all this crazy planning I miss my mom, but I also desperately miss my little sister. Keep your chin up, you’re not alone.