Mrs. Penguin, Sacramento
Age and Occupation: 26, Video & TV Producer/Director/Editor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 14, 2007
Venue: Winery in the Gold Country
About Me: I'm a silly mess of a girl who, above all else in this world, LOVES the Spice Girls. I eat sushi at least 3 times a week, and feel guilty about how much it costs the other 4 days a week. I love designer jeans and cheap accessories. I don't like sweets, but I love the UCLA Bruins!
Humble Pie All Over My Face
February 21st, 2008 @ 8:28 am by Mrs. Penguin
I know every bride goes through it, the inevitable “cutting of the guest list.” Our guest list was pretty hard to shave down… we were aiming for 120 guests, and with my mom having 5 siblings, and Mr. Penguin’s mom having 9, you can imagine that our cousins alone could fill out that list in a heartbeat. But we shaved it down the best we could, and realized that if we had it to do all over again, we’d have booked a venue with a higher max capacity.
Anyhoo, I had asked my mom for some addresses of her friends in order for my MOH to send out shower invitations the other day, and she confronted me with those dreaded words…
“I know the guest list is full, but I really think we should invite so-and-so.”
In an “I-can’t-be-bothered-to-argue-with-you-right-now” moment, I quickly said, “Fine, invite them, I don’t care, if we bust max capacity, I’ll deal with the ramifications later.”
So, naturally, we also added the female guests to the shower invite list, and that was that.
Well, one of the newly added guests called today, absolutely OVER THE MOON to hear that I’m getting married, how excited they are to be participating in this most important day of our lives, and how she and her family can’t wait to see us again. It was a 30 minute conversation of catching up for time we’d lost over the years, and I’m just so touched by her absolute joy about the fact that we’re getting married. After we hung up, I became aware that I had been a terrible jerkwad. It was almost a wakeup call of sorts. Only 2 weeks ago, I was simply annoyed that we’d have to add four more guests to a guest list that was already technically over capacity. Today I’m absolutely thrilled that they will be able to make it.
Unfortunately, that over the past year, people that didn’t make my “top 120″ list of wedding guests somehow got pushed out of my mind entirely. But today I realized that there are so many people I know that I’m unable to share this big day with, and rather than forget about them, I should really take the time to stay connected.
Has there been a moment in the planning process where you’ve taken a huge bite of Humble Pie?
5 Responses to “Humble Pie All Over My Face”
Slaving over our invites and getting the approximate count on invites that we need and who we might have to trim, or when I run into people, that’s when I’m shoved with humble pie but we just can’t afford it all and I wish we could but yeah 
I feels you mang!
The guest list is a serious point of stress for me, for the exact same reason. Every guest we add is another hundred bucks, basically, which is really stressful. Originally we wanted 100 guests, but we both have big families, so it didn’t work out. We’re now at 160, but it honestly seems like more people are “forgotten” and need to be added every day. For me it’s the same as what you were mentioning–I want these people to be a part of the celebration. The only people I don’t want there are the family members we HAVE to invite but I don’t really know that well. As it turns out, most of those people have already said they won’t be attending anyway (THANK GAWD!!).
But yeah, Pengy. Wish I could tell you that I had a way to be zen about this, but I really don’t!
I was in the same boat. We ended up with 128 who actually made it to the wedding and I must say, though I somewhat wish I could have invited more people than we did, I honestly was glad that there WEREN’T more people the day of the wedding. Because of the size, we got to spend some time with everyone, and that was only because our wedding day/evening/bonfire was long.
If there had been more people, I dont’ think that my husband and I would have been able to keep up. Believe me, we were super stressed about the guest list AND the dreaded seating chart, but in the end, less people means more time for each of them with YOU.
I ran into an older couple who where like my Soccer Mom and Dad growing up three weeks before the wedding. She gave me a hard time about my invite in a jokingly manner. At the time, I said it was easier for me to invite them then to deal with any ramifications.
On our wedding day, some of the MOST MEMORABLE people was this couple. I remembered thinking how very important they were in my growing up and as was very happy to share it with them. Then to top it off, the “soccer mom” went to visit my mom and gave her a few hundred photos (PRINTS!) of our wedding to share with us!
Sometimes its those people you just nixed at the beginning that really made your event when you let them in!
I started trimming friends was I was in my mid twenties… by the time I got married, the list was pretty short. It helped keep our wedding down to 96 people, which ended up saving us a lot of money!
