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Mrs. Penguin, Northern California Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy Engagement Date: January 29, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 14, 2007 Venue: Winery in the Gold Country About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
About Mrs. Penguin

I’m In Love With A Stripper

February 21st, 2008 @ 2:28 pm by Mrs. Penguin

Mr. Penguin’s Best Man and I were sitting around at champagne brunch one day, discussing his best man duties.  The topic of strippers somehow came up… and by “somehow came up,” I mean that I probably started yelling “STRIPPERS!  STRIPPERS!” or some other equally strange non sequitur, as Miss Penguin + Free-Flowing Champagne = Hours of Ear-Piercing Nonsensical Obscenities. 

Miss Penguin: STRIPPERS! STRIPPERS!
Mr Penguin’s Best Man: Yeah. Strippers. About that.
MP: STRIPPERS?
BM: What would you say if we accidentally found ourselves in a strip club at Mr. Penguin’s Bachelor party?
MP: YES. STRIPPERS. DO IT.
BM: So, you’re okay with strip clubs? I’m gonna remember you said that.
MP: DO IT.

I’m pretty sure he thought I was not thinking clearly, but I really do find strip clubs entirely non-threatening. The women that work there don’t do it because they are looking for Mr. Right, they’re just looking to feed themselves and their families… and I’m willing to bet that they think that guys that visit strip clubs are kind of skeezy anyway. But, you know who IS looking for Mr. Right? A normal, single chick in a normal club. I’m shuddering at the thought of my normal fiance running away with a normal girl and living a long, happy, normal life. YICK!

What are your feelings about Strip Clubs at the Bachelor Party Weekend, and what’s your rationale?

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68 Responses to “I’m In Love With A Stripper”

1.
Miss Toucan
Bee
Miss Toucan (message)  984 posts, Busy bee

Mr. Toucan’s groomsmen asked me about strippers like 2 days after we got engaged. I told them strippers were fine, but no “strippers.” ;)
Hehe… I also added later - no Asian strippers. hehe.

 
2.
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Susan Eva

I’m fine with strip clubs/bachelor parties, as long as it does not involve the private room, etc. ;) Frankly, though- I agree that the men that go to strip clubs are sleazy. Including those at bachelor parties.

 
3.
suzanno
Hostess
suzanno (message)  2,694 posts, Sugar bee

Yeah… no strip clubs, no strippers. For me its not about not trusting him, or about feeling threatened. I just don’t see why either of us should go out and do something that we normally would never considering doing, just because we are getting married. As if its somehow tragic that we are promising not to have sex with other people ever again, so we better run out and get some now.

I think that for a lot of guys the bachelor party/stripper thing is about peer pressure. And I don’t think either of us should be pressured into doing something we don’t like or enjoy (and FI is not the kind of guy who wants to look at some strange woman’s hoo-ha), and I don’t think we need the kind of friends who won’t take a polite “No, Thanks” for an answer. He is having a super-expensive golf weekend at the Coeur d’Alene resort for his bachelor party, which will be a great male-bonding kind of thing for him and his friends.

 
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Mrs. Daisy (message)  34 posts, Newbee

Miss Penguin, i have the same sound reasoning as you re: strip clubs. strippers are way more trustworthy than your average, club-going girl.

 
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jfs

Well, although I find strip clubs non-threatening to my level of self esteem and my relationship I would still find the situation inappropriate- the same with “girls gone wild” bachlorette parties. Honestly I just find them to be in poor taste. I’m probably in the minority here:)

 
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TBride

I personally think the whole idea is demoralizing to the women and just generally icky… most of these women have no other choice but to be treated as sexual objects just to live and put food on the table. But if Mr. TBride feels like he’d regret not having them - hey - bring on the g-strings.

 
7.
staceyb
Member
staceyb (message)  245 posts, Helper bee

i vetoed strippers for his party simply because i didn’t want them at mine, lol…. i have a very outgoing best friend who really really wanted to hire a stripper for me. i am very, very shy, and that basically sounded like death to me, so i said no, i can’t, cause i told the FI no strippers. :) then i still win! :)

 
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Alissa

Strippers dont bother me at all-basically for the same reasons. They actually used to bother me-and then I went to one with a bunch of guy friends one night. It was like wait, this is what they’re like? Oh-well nevermind haha. I told my fiance it was totally up to him, but I had no problem with them.

 
9.
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livvie (message)  136 posts, Blushing bee

I think it’s totally fine for both of us, bachelor(ette) party weekend or otherwise. A little bit of naked flesh (man or woman) won’t change the way we feel, neither of us find it offensive, and actually might be a nice little bit of spice to add to the relationship.

 
10.
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triciaj (message)  257 posts, Helper bee

I’m on the no strippers team. Basically, I don’t want ANY girl (stripper or club hopper) rubbing her junk on my FI. It worked out though - he’d rather have a massive Halo 3 party with all his gamer friends. :)

 
11.
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amysue (message)  1,499 posts, Bumble bee

i thought i was ok with strippers til i saw how close some of those lap dances get. now i’m not so sure.

 
12.
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anna

i’m pretty sure there’s going to be strippers at the bachelor party and i’m okay with it. the fiance is a grown man and can make his own decisions and i trust him and his judgment completely. he’s going to be my husband, not my son, so i really don’t think it’s my place to tell him what he can and can’t do.

 
13.
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Linda

I have no problems with strippers or strip clubs either. My FI doesn’t like them though. I doubt his bachelor party will involve them.

 
14.
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rebecca (message)  1,316 posts, Bumble bee

i COMPLETELY agree. drunk girls at bars are trying to get a guy to take them home, whereas strippers just want to make it through the night with some cash. they’re going to vegas, so i know that my FI doesn’t have enough money to pay for anything that would make me mad. =)

and it’s the last time he’s going to get huge bazongas waved in his face so i told him whatever, i just don’t wanna know.

 
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Red (message)  120 posts, Blushing bee

I also agree that strip clubs are just good fun as long as both parties are secure and comfortable with it. My girls and I went to see the Chippendales in Vegas. Granted, Chippendales is less “hands-on” than most female strips clubs but it was still half naked men dancing suggestively :-)

Ironically, my DH decided to forgo the strip clubs and go skeet-shooting instead.

 
16.
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Laura

My FI’s brother and best man is pretty dead set on going all out like they are on Entourage for FI’s bachelor party. Not thrilled about the stripper idea mostly because I know FI is pretty shy and would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable with the stripper action, and I really want him to do what he wants to do. I just wish his brother would consider what FI wants more then what HE wants to do.

I admit the whole idea of strippers kinda turns my stomach. I wish I was as cool as a penguin about it as you were Miss Penguin!

 
17.
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Sweeney2Be (message)  1,519 posts, Bumble bee

If Mr S wanted to go I wouldn’t mind because I trust him 100% - however he has made the decision all on his own that it’s disrespectful to me to have another gals tata’s bounced in his face.

Plus I don’t know about your strip clubs, but the ones here in MN, when a stag party comes in the Groom tends to get beat, and I mean a ROUGH-bruise leaving dance. I’ve seen a groom or two the day after and as I happen to have a couns in in the ‘biz’ I’ve heard all about it.

No worries - no facial injuries…wedding pics will still be ok! ;-)

 
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angiepangie (message)  157 posts, Blushing bee

I have no problem with FI having strippers at his bachelor party but that is the last thing he wants. He would rather go to a baseball game with the guys and end up drinking nice bourbon at a bar where they can talk all night.

 
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peihan17 (message)  258 posts, Helper bee

I’m for no strippers too. It’s not a matter of telling him what he can and can’t do, it’s more about respect for our relationship and coming marriage, which is not well represented by having a girl rub her crotch in his. To me, lap dances (and definitely anything more) is close enough to full blown cheating that I would have a hard time distinguishing.

 
20.
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sugardre

I’m totally fine with my FI going to the strippers for his bachelor party, although definitely no back room action! However I know he wants a more fun bachelor party (like paintballing or, I don’t know, iron chef lessons… he’s cute like that). However, my bachelorette party will be taking place in Montreal, where one of my BMs lives, and Rue Ste Catherine is stipper central (some classy, some not so much). I know my FSIL is super excited to hit up the strippers for a bit that night… she’s crazy in a good way. How could I forbid him something I know will be inevitable for myself? Haha.

 
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davis2b

I had a stripper at my bachelorette party and my husband’s friends took him to the strip club for his little bachelor event :) Harmless. I didn’t want the stripper who stripped for me and I’m sure my DH didn’t want to bring anything home with him either. I think our FRIENDS had the most fun. :)

 
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Mandymorgan

Ugh–gross. I’ll tag in for the “no strippers” team…It’s degrading to both the stipper and the guy participating to objectify someone like that…sex is between me and my FI…and if he wants a strip tease I am always willing and ready : ) but not for his buddies…!

 
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BaghdadBride (message)  346 posts, Helper bee

No strippers for me or him and it’s not cause I don’t trust him.
Strip clubs can be very hands on and honestly it just makes me sad to think of a girl rubbing her breasts in FI’s face and grinding her a** against him. I would never be ok with anyone else touching him that way so why is it ok just b/c she’s a “pro” and he pays for it?
I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy if i rubbed my hands allover some guy’s package and it’s not something you’d normally do in a relationship.

I also agree that guys that go to strip clubs and enjoy it are kind of immature/skeezy. Most of the guys I know got over that in their second year of college. Fiance doesn’t go to these things normally so why start now?

He’s spending his guys weekend going deep sea fishing instead.

 
24.
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larnaye (message)  33 posts, Newbee

i agree suzanno. i don’t understand the whole “last chance” theory behind the bachelor party.

and on a side note…i do know a couple who met at a strip club while she was stripping.

 
25.
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liz

i’m in the extreme minority here…i’m actually going to a strip club for MY bachelorette party, while my fiancee stays at home and plays video games. he hates strip clubs…i love them. :)

 
26.
briannie
Member
briannie (message)  273 posts, Helper bee

I’m all for strippers/strip clubs for bachelor/bachelorette parties (but like Miss Toucan said, no “strippers”). It’s not a trust thing, but I would be good with anyything (including a lap dance) as long as no “bodily fluids” are exchanged. Not that Brian would do anything like that, but that’s the line I would draw.

I’m ok with “boobie glitter,” though.

 
27.
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beanchar (message)  549 posts, Busy bee

When I first glanced at this, I assumed the post was going to be about how YOU wanted to go to see the STRIPPERS STRIPPERS! We all know how you love some bazooms, Pengy. ;)

I think your logic is mostly spot-on —- the exception being in Vegas. Remember than in Nevada another “more-intimate” form of female entertainment is legal, so it is possible that those gals are looking to make money in more than one way.

No, not all Vegas strippers are “working girls” by any means, but I have heard MANY a story from my guy friends about offers of a bit more than a lap dance whist visiting the Spearmint Rhino and the like.

And I am curious about this “beating dance” that Sweeney describes above. Those must be some powerful implants to leave brusing! ;)

 
28.
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Joanne

i told fi that strip clubs are totally fine with me.

 
29.
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Michelle

He has been to them before and honestly, I care a little bit but not enough to throw a hissy fit. Pretty sure he thinks stripper are gross but that wouldn’t stop him from going. Lucky for me, two of his groomsmen would NEVER step foot in a strip club so I’m not sure if he would go. Even if he did, not a big deal. I’m not worried.

 
30.
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Miss Petunia (message)  288 posts, Helper bee

They don’t bother me one bit, to be honest. I thought for sure that’s where Mr. P’s brother would be taking him, but I just found out they’re going to do paint ball! ROFL!

 
31.
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MissBlueBear (message)  407 posts, Helper bee

I say if you’re going to have a Bachelor party, you gotta do it right! Strippers ALL THE WAY! I’m confident and comfortable knowing that FI will come home to me always, so why not let someone else tease him, drive him crazy and he can come home to me! =) I also think the, “you can look but can’t touch” mentality does wonders for the bedroom…hee hee!

 
32.
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emily

I’m fine with strippers. I think most of the time it ends up being super awkward for the groom and the friends have more fun laughing at him. I know my FI is grossed out by the whole idea so it probably won’t happen anyways. But Miss Penguin you have such a good point about normal girls in normal bars… now I’d almost prefer the strip club!

 
33.
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Mrs. Violet (message)  255 posts, Helper bee

We trust each other so it’s okay for either one of us to go, but the idea of a girl (other than myself) giving him a lap dance bugs me a bit. For his bachelor party, he did end up going to a couple of of “gentlemen clubs” and he said he did not do anything disrespectful to me and i trust he didn’t.

 
34.
stargazerlily
Member
stargazerlily (message)  946 posts, Busy bee

Laura - you are so sweet to think that im “cool” for being okay with strippers! In all honesty, its really not about me being cool, I’m far from it…like i said, I’m just ragingly more threatened by “normal, single gals” :)

 
35.
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GetMarried4Less

i am not sure how i feel about this issue anymore.

about 2 years ago my FI went to a bachelor party for a friend and they wound up at a strip club. i gave him several opps to tell me (bc i assumed thats what men did at these things) but he shied away from it…..it finally came out about 2 or 3 months later.

i was upset bc he wasnt forthright right away…not that he went. i would have been cool with it if he said something before hand. like,

Him: “i’m going to so in so’s bach party”
me: ok
Him:”We’re probably gonna hit up a strip club”
me: mm’kay. cool.

it could have been that simple.

 
36.
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Mrs. Lollipop (message)  74 posts, Worker bee

Mr. Lollipop got strippers for his bachelor party, but we discussed it before hand and I put a “NO TOUCHING” rule in place. Some of the attendees assumed that I didn’t know and wouldn’t be cool with it so they were all “Boy, karaoke was fun last night!” Mr. L had already given me the run-down the day before.

Also, I later found out through my sister in law that my younger brother was the only one who knew what to do at the strip club. He had to tell them when to tip. The best man only brought $5 dollars in ones. Hee.

 
37.
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Kate

I have no problems with them whatsoever. In fact, I’ve been to a few with the FH before. They do not make me jealous whatsoever.

 
38.
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Sarah

I feel the same wasy as you Miss Cherry Blossom. I told him to go for it. I trust him and personally think he and his buddies would have fun. I know that he is personally turned off by the whole stripping thing byond just a fn night. I am not sure I would even have to enforce a “no touching” rule. I am pretty sure he wouldn’t enjoy it. He’s cool like that.

 
39.
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kleverkira (message)  331 posts, Helper bee

I guess I haven’t really thought about it because it is so not my FI’s thing. I would be okay with it if they really wanted to go, but I know that they’re much more likely to drink whiskey and smoke cigars and talk about jazz.

 
40.
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crackhead

Well my dad used to own a strip club so maybe that has something to do with my attitude about it. It maybe makes me a little more open. I don’t mind him going for his bachelor party. I trust him. I understand its just for fun. As long as there is no kissing and no sex in the champagne room. (HEL-lo!) I’m ok with it. Now if he started going all the time, i’d probably start having a problem with it. But, you know, once a year or so at his various friends’ and his bachelor parties. I can accept.

 
41.
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Veronica

I think it’s a little weird that the issue keeps getting discussed as a trust issue (as in, I do/don’t trust him not to touch). I can see where that’s part of it, and I definitely would feel betrayed if my FH *did* touch a stripper, do a body shot, etc. because I would see that as cheating. However, to me this isn’t the issue. I just find strip clubs to be embarrassing and gross, and the idea of stripping to be demeaning to women. I have a feminist FH — and wouldn’t be marrying him if he wasn’t — and a strip club doesn’t sound like his idea of a good time. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 
42.
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Miss Cream Puff

You crack me up, Penguin. You really do. Weddingbee has had me in stitches today!

I am not personally a fan of strippers, but I’m definitely not going to tell Mr. Cream Puff what to do. He doesn’t personally like them either, so whatevs. I guess I’m kind of indifferent, really. We had a discussion about this awhile back when I asked him IF I were uncomfortable would he not go. He said he thought that was a dumb thing to be uncomfortable about (LOL!) and that for him it’s a trust issue–like I should trust him not to do anything with said strippers, and it’s insulting that I (theoretically) don’t. As stated earlier, I am personally indifferent, but I was curious what he thought about it. It was an interesting answer. Good thing I’m not uptight about it, because that could result in a major fight!

I’m not sure what they’re doing for a bachelor party–someone mentioned a rafting trip. Which I’m cool with. Of course, I’ll be worried all weekend that someone’s got a concussion, but that’s just how I roll.

 
43.
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Sarah M.

I have a problem with strip clubs and strippers, mostly because I think the “field” is evolving, and lots of brides to be are left in the dark of what goes on… especially when the strippers entertain at a private residence. I’ve heard too many stories (games, shows) from guy acquaintances that make lap dances seem quaint… in a lot of cases, it’s the *least* of your worries. I think the best course of action is for both parties to be well informed about what goes on, and a thorough discussion of boundaries be discussed.

That said, my FH isn’t really into the whole stripper thing, so the point is sorta moot for me.

 
44.
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julieulie (message)  266 posts, Helper bee

I’m kind of anti-strip club for the bachelor party, because the fiance and his friends are not strip club kind of people (apparently one has been to one strip club once, and that’s it). I don’t see why, just because he’s getting married, they have to do something they’re not interested in any other time of the year. His other friends who have gotten married haven’t had strippers at their bachelor party.
I’d accept the look but no touch rule, but I don’t know if my fiance’s friends would abide by it, so I’ve asked to not have any strip clubs involved, period. My fiance’s best friend’s older brother is rowdy, lewd, and frequents strip clubs, and I KNOW he would show up and buy lots of lapdances for my fiance, despite my asking him not to do so, and I’m not down with that.

 
45.
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Miss Tulip (message)  615 posts, Busy bee

I thought of bringing up this issue around the time of Mr. T’s bachelor party, but was too embarrassed. Go, Penguin!

Before Mr. T’s party, the boys asked if I had any ground rules, and I played it cool with a “any strippers must be uglier than me” rule.

But then, the night before he left, I freaked out. Forget that I trust him, forget that he doesn’t even LIKE strip clubs (he sees them for what they are = fake sex promises in exchange for $$$ from dumb guys)…. It still came down to naked women who aren’t me, in close proximity to my Mr. T.

Luckily, he avoided the whole issue because the boys were so determined to get him drunk (and he’s such an easy drunk) that he was throwing up and back at the hotel by 10 p.m. He always said he’s proud that he managed to avoid the strip club trip, and of course I always have to remind him HOW he avoided it!

 
46.
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Meg

I don’t care if my SO goes to a strip club for a bachelor party, or the odd night out with the guys. As long as he’s not spending every night there, it doesn’t bother me.

I’m 10,000 times more threatened by a cute single girl at work than a stripper!

 
47.
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eringoblog

I’m pretty sure there won’t be any strippers involved in whatever pre-wedding festivities my FH takes part in.

As an aside, though…I used to think strip clubs were kind of skeezy but mostly harmless until my ex confessed to paying for a little something extra in the back room.

Ew, ew, and eeeeeeeeeeeew.

 
48.
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Littlefoot

We’re having a DW in Hawaii so FI (and his boys of course) are super excited to have a bachelor party in tropical paradise! I don’t have a problem w/it. He’s gone to his share of strip clubs before our time together, so him going on his last night of single-dom doesn’t surprise me in least.

When we were talking about it the other night, I told him NO massage parlors that offer happy endings! LMAO FI was cracking up!

 
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Tea

i don’t mind if my bf went to a strip club. i know that it wouldn’t have been his first choice [he said he'd much rather just hang out than do anything else] and that the show would be for his friends and not him. he says if he already has me at home then why does he need to go out a look at other women? they just don’t do it for him. i totally scored here.

i know i’m not having strippers at my bachelorette party because the thought of strange men thrusting anywhere towards me grosses me out. it doesn’t help that i find board shorts sexier than thongs/speedos anyway. lol.

 
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jp

OMG. the boys are going to NYC for FI’s bachelor party! and his friends LOVE going to strip clubs (he’s only been twice with them) (wait.. that sounds like a lot?? hahah). i don’t really CARE as long as there’s no nasty backroom action. i don’t even want to know.

 
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ghkim9 (message)  65 posts, Worker bee

personally, i’m against strippers. i know a guy who made out with a stripper at a strip club at his bachelorette party and has also been pursued by strippers (while dating someone else). i also know someone who had strippers at his bachelorette party and ended up having sex with her. and he’s not a bad guy. its just that i think there is so much drinking/lack of judgment involved that many men tend to do things they totally regret. why put yourself in a situation that could damage your relationship with your future bride? i’m against it.

 
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polka dot

No strippers. Let’s be more creative folks. Why do we follow these bachelor(ette) party scripts? It’s so cliche and dare I say nasty. It’s only natural for a guy to get a little hot below the waiste with a lap dance (which the groom WILL get at a strip club during his bachelorette party)…and that thought, even if I know he won’t end up “doing” anything with her, is gross and offensive. And I think that applies to me too. Fortunately, I have quirky girlfriends who don’t like to do the usual thing and we had fun breaking plates and doing weird things at a Greek restaurant :) And my husband went on a random camping trip with his closest friends who usually only like to do play video games…and he loved it! Break the mold, folks :)

 
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kim

alex and i have been to strip clubs together…. so needless to say i’m all for strip clubs! i don’t find the sex industry degrading at all. it’s only degrading if you make it degrading. if you’re in the industry for what you believe to be the right reasons, then flaunt it. there’s nothing wrong with that.

it really all boils down to what the guy wants to do for his bachelor party…. if strippers are involved, then awesome! if he wants to play paintball all day, then that’s cool too. let the boy enjoy.

 
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My

I agree with what Kim said ahead of me. Strippers are fine…

 
55.
stargazerlily
Member
stargazerlily (message)  946 posts, Busy bee

I guess, to me, the appeal of a strip club is that its not something you do every day, if at all, thats why I think they’re kind of fun for bachelor parties if men choose to do so….I look at it as doing something you find fun that you don’t necessarily want/get to do all the time, but nonetheless find it fun and harmless.

 
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Mo

I’m in the anti-stripper group. For me, it’s not a matter of trust (I know he wouldn’t do anything) but it’s a matter of respect. If I wouldn’t be cool with any other woman getting naked and grinding all over him, why would it be ok because he’s paying for it? He doesn’t even like strippers, so why go to please your friends or for ‘tradition’? I’d rather he join the new tradition of you and your friends doing something that you really enjoy.

Fwiw, the respect thing is why I rarely dance with other guys at the club. Culturally, the way my friends and I dance is very sexual (grinding, hip movements, ect). Why would I want any other man grinding his crotch into my backside? This is just my own personal choice, because for me respecting a relationship means keeping some things sacred, both physically and emotionally.

 
57.
suzanno
Hostess
suzanno (message)  2,694 posts, Sugar bee

I guess I am a little disturbed at the idea that some of you all are “threatened” by the idea of your man with his buddies just in a bar where there might be (gasp) single women, or even by the idea that he might (double gasp) work with single women. Now that is a significant trust issue. Of course, having been that single woman for a lot of years, I’ve met wives like you. Trust me, there are two kinds of married men - those who can be had, and those who can’t. If yours is the second kind, you’ve got nothing to worry about. If he’s the first, I feel bad for you. And really, if he is, better someone steal him away now and be done with it, rather than ten years from now when you have a couple of kids and a lot of commingled assets.

 
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CC

Ms. Penguin, I am with you :-)

 
59.
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Arivechi

Bachelor party stripper club visit? no problem. Honestly I think that the other guys in his group would be shielding their eyes in that 6-year-old embarrassed way. They’re just goofy. I can’t see it as a threat to me.
My friends hired a stripper as a surprise for my 22nd b-day party only because it’s probably the LAST thing in the world I would have expected. But they also convinced me to drink maybe 5 or 6 shots in that hour before the guy showed up. So I was giggly and unfocused by the time the “show” started. I could hardly focus on the magenta thong clad male in front of me and instead was turning around to my gal friends screaming “ARE YOU GETTING THIS? CHECK HIM OUT!!!” Needless to say I don’t really feel the need to see strippers myself, but wouldn’t even think twice if the bachelor party included stripper clubs.

 
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LindseyZ

To each their own…

Some men like strip clubs, some women like strip clubs, some coupes like them together. They can be fun, spice up your relationship, or just for laughs and entertainment. The womans body is beautiful and should be seen as that. Strip clubs can also be skeevy dirty places, it can be threatening to the significant other (depending on your trust issues or self esteem issues-nobody is perfect). The strippers themselves often times have issues themselves that may have brought them into the industry in the first place. Obviously nothing happens out in the open, the private room on the other hand…who knows? Depends on the morals of the guy and the morals of the stripper.

I personally, have no problems with the strip club, I enjoy them for any reason listed above…and I trust my guy not to do anything in the back room. But private parties on the other hand- I have a problem with! I have a guy friend who explained to me exactly what happened at a bachelor party that had strippers at someone’s house and I was disgusted. I know this is what my FI’s friends are planning. Im definitely going to talk to him about it and have a detailed discussion about what both of our boundries are to make sure that they match. Everyone has different ideas about what is ‘ok’ or ‘not ok’ and as long as you both are clear about it there shouldnt be any problems :)

 
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Guilty Secret

What an interesting discussion!

For me, it is not acceptable for a naked / semi-naked woman to dance for my fiancé. It wasn’t ok when he was my boyfriend and it certainly doesn’t become ok because we are getting married.

If you boil it down to what it really is (a naked / semi-naked woman dancing for my fiancé) it seems so wrong to me. How is it *better* because he is paying for it? Yuck!

 
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Karianne

In a stripclub type setting I wouldn’t be worried… BUT I recently was at a birthday houseparty where a stripper was hired, and NO WAY - - ew ew ew the naked things that stripper/skank did with fruit and lollipops involving the birthday boys mouth!!! uh-uh no, no no no no I do not want my man with a naked girl girating on his mouth, sorry call me a prude. I was sooooooooooooo naive, I had no idea that strippers did this type of thing. I always thought they just took their clothes off and danced around, at most I thought they would rub their naked body on the fully clothes customer, but what I saw WOW. F that!

 
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Sarah

That’s the sort of thing I mentioned above. There are so, so many nasty things that go on with strippers… games known as “feed the kitty,” girl on girl shows…. I could go on, but let’s keep some sort of semblance of class. ;) I just wish more girls had a better idea of what goes on!

 
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Jaimie

I have to agree with Guilty Secret and Mo…this is unacceptable to me. I’ve always felt strongly against it so I’m used to being the minority vote here.
The ‘what’ of what women do is not as much as a concern as the ‘why’ my fiance would be participating in this in the first place. Tradition or not (bachelor party), little or a lot of trust; naked women are in plain view and/or in his face.

You can’t help but wonder..what is this about anyways?

 
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Weddingbee » Blog Archive » Watercooler

[...] I’m In Love With A Stripper by Miss Penguin [...]

 
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Nessa

My fiancee is a Marine. If there weren’t strippers - I’d be surprised! lol I guess I just have no problem with it. I’ve gone a few times to clubs w/ friends and co-workers, so… if it so happen he and the boys end up there - so be it. He’s always coming home to me. Besides, I know it won’t be HIS/OUR money he’s spending on that since he doesn’t like going to strip clubs, ha.

 
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mlindsey (message)  349 posts, Helper bee

I could care less if he decided to go to a stripclub…probably because I know he wouldn’t. See, my FH is cheap like that. He doesn’t see the value in sticking his hard earned money into some chicks g-string. Now, maybe if his boys paid for it….? Anyway, he decided that he’s going to go to a cigar club, smoke, drink and play pool. That’s more up his alley.

 
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MissPodo

This issue really sucks more for us than for them….I am glad to see that the majority agree with me in that I am not fond of some chick grinding her stuff all over my man….and the things that go on if the stripper makes a house call…OMG…and my fiance’s friends (one in particular) have been known to go together before we met for “fun”, so i will have to talk to him about what I think is cool (not much) and not cool (mostly all of it..haha) Ugggggh I hate this part of it….I have NO desire to look at some man shakn his thang in ma face….

 


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Mrs. Penguin Mrs. Penguin, Northern California Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy Engagement Date: January 29, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 14, 2007 Venue: Winery in the Gold Country About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
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