Wedding Blog
We are nearly one month away from our wedding date. And I’m completely unprepared.
As mentioned in my intro, I’ve been ill for the past few years. I have fatigue issues and get migraines several days a week. When we first got engaged, 7 months seemed like plenty of time to plan a wedding, especially for someone who’s not working. Well, I often haven’t felt up to it and have put things off…. And now we’re down to the wire!
(image from here)
At this point, we have yet to plan a honeymoon. Our boys have nothing to wear, Mr. T has no ring, we haven’t even begun to consider the ceremony, and the guest book and favors may or may not get made. We need a wedding license and need to be sure my religious requirements are met. And packing for the big move to Mr. T’s house? Don’t even get me started! (Or, rather, PLEASE, get me STARTED!)
And the things that have already fallen by the wayside, either through lack of funds or lack of energy?
- I discovered that I sent my MOH the wrong dress, so now the 2 bridesmaids won’t match. (Thank heavens that’s a trend!) And there are more groomsmen than bridesmaids.
- Transport for the guests = “good luck, we’ll see you at the reception in a few hours!”
- All those darling welcome bag ideas? Not happening.
- The wedding cake will be whatever our restaurant venue provides.
- Flowers? Fake. Music? Ipod.
Mr. T, bless his heart, keeps reminding me that the ONLY thing that matters is that, after all this is done, we end up married. And it wouldn’t hurt if we could feed our friends and dance a bit to boot…. It helps me so much to remember that whenever I worry about extra details that might not happen.
How about all of you — are you cutting anything big because you just won’t have the time/energy/money to deal with it?
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Share this post: One Month To Go - AAAARGH!
Oh, heck , yeah, stuff got dumped at the last minute. But allow me to present my Foolproof Method to Ensure Bridal Sanity:
1. Shrug
2. Delegate
3. Hope for the best
It worked for me.
Oh yeah, I’m dropping things left and right due to it coming down to the wire and just not having enough time and being completely stressed out.
Flower girl dresses: no longer making them
Flowers: doubt those will be DIY
everything else I haven’t thought of… well who knows!
Don’t fret miss tulip–my wedding is 6 months away and we don’t have:
1. reception site
2. any vendors
3. dresses
The one thing we do have is his suit.
Our thinking: It is one day–one party. We are more head over heels about each other than we’ve ever been, even after 7 years! So no matter what happens or how it turns out, c’est la vie–we have each other, we’ll be married, and we’ll share that day with friends & family–what else do you need than that?
Don’t worry Miss Tulip– it will all come together for what I’m sure will be a beautiful, memorable, special day.
I think i’m definitely giving up on the welcome bags too. I don’t anticipate having the time to make and deliver them at all.
It will all work out! Don’t give yourself a migraine.
I just came off a 1.5 year hiatus from working for the EXACT same reason. I had to leave graduate school because of daily migraines. They SUCK.
It will all work out!
I can remember about a month before my wedding, I started compromising things left and right. It’s been 8 months since, and I can’t remember what those things are! I guess they weren’t really as important as I thought at the time. Dont’ worry- you’ll do fine! =0)
Miss Tulip,
I’m sorry things are so frustrating. It’s awesome that Mr. T. keeps reminding you about the focus of your wedding–marrying HIM. We all can get so wrapped up in all the little details that go into a wedding (and even those of us not prone to migraines will get them)–but what matters in the end? You’re marrying the love of your life. You’re building a marriage and a lifetime with him. It’s not about the color of the dresses, the flavor of the cake, or the [cute but unnecessary] perfectly obsessive DIY projects. Your friends and family who agreed to come to your wedding are coming because they love you guys, not because of favors or a free meal.
One of the most beautiful weddings I went to was SO incredibly simple. It was lovely, minimalist, and I knew the bride was staying sane and the couple (and their parents) were staying within a budget. I respected that so much.
Some suggestions (though I bet you’ve already thought of these things):
Give your guests a map from the ceremony to the reception. It’s okay.
In pictures, alternate your bridesmaids, if you’re concerned they have different style dresses.
Ipod music means you only hear what you want. That’s awesome. 
I gave up on any idea of DIY flowers. I’m not doing favors (we’re donating instead–something we wanted to do anyway). We’re not doing a slideshow. We even put all the relevant accomodation info and stuff on a website instead of putting it in an invitation.
Breathe and enjoy (and delegate). You can do it. One month and you’ll be married to Mr. T.
Sorry for the epic-length comment.
Amen, sister. I feel you. You aren’t superwoman. Do what you can and let the rest go. Mr T is totally right. The only thing that matters is that you get married. Make that your focus and let the rest of this slide.
Miss T, we did the following w/in 1-2 days of the wedding:
* chose cake (went into bakery, pointed, paid)
* ordered my bouquet (”please make it white and green”)
* arranged rehearsal dinner menu
On top if this, our wedding clothes were held hostage in by the Italian Customs office until about 18 hours before the wedding.
And I’ve never been so happy or relaxed planning an event. And we had a great wedding.
I was married once before, and had the HUGE 400+ wedding with all the fuss and I can tell you that it was easy to overlook the potential problems with the marriage itself b/c of the 10,000 details occupying my mind for that ONE DAY.
Focus on your lifetime with Mr Tulip and enjoying the first day of your marriage. Your guests are coming to celebrate your love and that’s what will make the day memorable.
As a frequenter of weddings these days, let me say that welcome bags are NOT expected. A nice perk if you get to it, but the marriage is no less valid without them!
I think what everyone will note about your wedding is how in love you crazy kids are. The rest (OK, except the marriage license) is details!
None of those things you’ve mentioned make any difference at all. Your wedding will be beautiful and meaningful, and that fact that you will use an iPod does not take away from that one bit (in fact, it might *add* to it because you won’t have a cheesy DJ).
I suffer from migraines as well, and besides cutting out common trigger foods (chocolate, caffeine, snow peas and snap peas, aged cheese, licorice, etc.) I found two things that made a big difference:
1) Taking 200-400 mg of vitamin B2 every day. This has cut my migraines by probably 75%! I take extra on days when I am feeling “migrainey”.
2) Making sure I get enough magnesium. I take a supplement occasionally, since I don’t get a lot in my diet, and it makes a big difference.
I only have a little over three months until the wedding, and I just got my dress. I feel like I’m scrambling. We’re going to end up using fake flowers, probably (because they’re cheaper, of course, and we won’t have to worry about them dying), and I have no idea what to do for favors. My fiance has yet to make the list of people he’d like to invite, so I can’t order invitations yet… And he hasn’t even looked at suits/tuxes. We’re a little behind.
I think using the iPod for music is a great idea. If you can, I’d create a back-up playlist as well, just to be sure.
Good luck with everything. It may be stressful now, but won’t it all be worth it in the end?
I can’t find a place to email or private message bees? I have had chronic fatigue for the past two years, and wedding planning is killing me. I found an amazing clinic that has turned my life around though, after trying every doctor and trick in the book, and I’m always quick to suggest them because I now feel human again. fibroandfatigue.com is the website, they run masses of bloodwork and treat everything that is wrong, so your body can take care of itself instead of being bombarded and unable to recover. I was lucky to find them only a year after being sick, but there are people who go to them after being sick for 40+ years and recover. I was really skeptical at first, but I went to a seminar and decided it was worth a shot since nothing else worked. 9 months later, I’m miles better than I was. Feel free to email you if you want more information. My scholarship counselor recommended them to me when I had to go in and reduce my school hours, and they’ve changed her life too. We’re definitely big believers!
I can totally relate. I am getting married in just over a month. I will be making a 3000 mile move across the country about two weeks before the wedding (in less than two weeks-yikes!) and starting a new job. Still have to wrap things up here- Ha! But I finally booked a moving company. And have not thought much about the wedding. Like if we have a photographer or flowers! It will somehow work itself out. And if we don’t have fabulous decorations- I am counting on the beach setting to make up for it- I am sure it will be a great celebration. Don’t discount the affect that your joy can have on enchanting everyone else into having a blast and not even noticing that there isn’t a guest book or matching napkins or whatever.
Just relax. Mr T sounds like a keeper and that is the important part! And remember to Enjoy! (I am also trying hard to take this advice- easier said than done!
I noticed you’re in the DC area and I can recommend a legit doc who specializes in fatigue if you need one- he’s been in Washingtonian’s Best Doctors issue and keeps up with the latest research. Email me if you’d like more info. Good luck with the wedding and don’t sweat it- it’s just one day!
Programs and an elaborate guest book display were the first things to go. Just remember that on your wedding day, let everything go…hand it off to your DOC or point person and make sure your only job is to be a cool bride. Oh and to get married.
Hahaha….Shannon, I read that as “a legit D.O.C. who specializes in fatigue” and I was thinking, there’s a day-of coordinator out there in camo pants? 
How about getting Mr T to do a couple of things. Surely he could take the boys and get their outfits organised? and also pick out his own ring?
Get your girls together and your family and let them help you with a lot of the things you have left to do. It certainly gets the job done a lot quicker and will help you feel less stressed
Good luck with it all
Wow, you guys are the greatest. Thanks for your insightful and useful comments!! Helps to know some of the rest of you are/were in the same boat…. (Hang in there, MissM!)
Maybe a Day-of-Coordinator with military training is exactly the thing I need… 
And thanks for the health advice, to boot. You’ve given me a few things to think about / look into.
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Mrs. Tulip, DC
Age and Occupation: 36, Retired
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor
Engagement Date: August 8, 2007
Wedding Date: March, 2008
Venue: Still Looking!
About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
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