Weddingbee

I feel incredibly nervous about my wedding; I don’t particularly like being the center of attention. At first, I wanted to personalize our vows, but my fiance thinks that somehow we might out-do each other (I don’t know how), and I’m afraid I would draw a blank.

I think the “center of attention” aspect gets a lot of people nervous, so you’re not alone…. But don’t forget, those people aren’t strangers — they’re people who CARE about you and Mr. BG and are there because they want to wish you well!

i’m not much help since i love being the center of attention and as a business major during college i had to give a presentation at least once every semester so it doesn’t phase me at all, that and one of my favorite jobs had me standing on a baseball field talking to people at every game. but one thing that was always consistent among all my friends’ weddings were they always said that once they were walking up that aisle, they didn’t notice anyone but the groom. so no worries, you’ll be fine!

I feel for you. I too have had problems with public speaking (just in front of my colleagues and bosses). I feel like running and hiding behind that red curtain!

I just want to share a tip I learned from one of the online articles I read. One of the major cure for stage fright is to feel confident. Self-consciousness actually lessens your confidence. Because you fear making mistakes, you fear the possibility of being mocked. I suggest that you trash out negative thoughts and focus on positive ones. Have a friend beside you to constantly affirm that “you can”.
Even if you don’t feel 100% self confident, fake it. Just pretend that you are an extremely confident person and you will exude the confidence level that you need.

You can read more about public speaking and self confidence in this link: http://stagefrighthelp.com/Public-Speaking-and-Self-Confidence.php

Hope this helps!

It is more common than you think to be nervous in front of an audience.

Here are my 9 tips for feeling more comfortable in front of an audience:
1. As the days and weeks lead up to your presentation, practice creative visualization. Fear stems from the unconscious repetitive thoughts and feelings about failing. The key to successful visualizations is simultaneously feeling positive emotions attached to images that you see. Imagine the room in which you will present. Feel the empowering sense that this could be your break-through moment. This could be when you reach to a higher level than you ever thought possible. Imagine yourself now in front of the audience facing them, looking calmly and intently into their faces. Take a big breath and feel relaxation welling-up within you. Imagine giving the EXACT kind of presentation you want – however that looks, sounds and feels to you. When you are done imagining yourself delivering your presentation, hear in your mind’s ear the enthusiastic applause of your audience. See faces that are pleased, moved and touched by what you’ve done. See others seeking you out, shaking your hand, congratulating you on your performance. For as long as possible, keep experiencing that feeling of triumphal success. Repeat this process as many times as possible.
2. About 5 – 10 minutes before your presentations, use this breathing technique: with your mouth closed, count out 4 seconds in your mind during each measured, controlled inhalation and exhalation through your nostrils. Then slow it down even further to a 6, 8, or 10 count. That will help to soothe your entire nervous system, slow your heart rate, and lower your blood pressure. You will feel much calmer, your thinking will be much more lucid, and you will be able to communicate your ideas much more clearly in moments of stress. (A similar exercise is outlined in our binder on page 8-18. Zen)
3. Start with a personal story. Stories help you get into the “zone” of presenting. You are intimately familiar with the material and it’s easy to be more animated with an energetic, expressive voice, movement and gestures when telling a story.
4. Many clients prefer conversation to “presentation.” If so, start with an interactive opening. Ask the audience a question, preferably an open-ended one (who, what, where, when, why, how). Call on them by name. Engage them by expressing genuine curiosity in their ideas and thoughts. Your scary and silent audience can be quickly transformed into an informal gathering, sharing their ideas and perspective.
5. Change your paradigm about the sensation you are labeling as fear or anxiety. Instead of labeling is as “fear,” think of it as energy. Channel that energy into …
6. Strong movement, gestures and an expressive, energetic voice which will command more attention and project more confidence and charisma. 80 – 90% of the presenters that we observe do not expend enough energy. Hence, they come across as uninvolved, uninteresting, and unenthusiastic.
7. Sustain eye contact with individual members of your audience. You will project confidence and trustworthiness and your presentation will feel more like an informal conversation.
8. Get up in front of groups often. There is no substitute for experience. As the experience grows more familiar, your fears will lessen. You may eventually find that you relish the chance to present.
9. Don’t give up. As American writer and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”