Do You Feel Guilty Like Me?
February 27th, 2008 @ 11:14 am by Mrs. Cherry Blossom
Bachelorette Parties! Bridal Showers! Oh my! They’re all part of the fun that most brides get to enjoy before their weddings. I looooove planning parties and events in general, so it’s definitely a pleasure for me to be able to go all out and plan these types of things for others. But now that it’s my turn to have those events planned for me, it just seems so awkward and foreign, I feel extremely guilty for it all. Am I weird?
I mean, it’s definitely not expected that my bridesmaids do any of the above at all, but the fact they are planning these shindigs just really blows my mind!!! I have no words to thank them enough or let them know how appreciative I am. It’s hard to plan these things and trying to keep it a surprise with two months coming up to the date, my weekends are crazy busy and asking me to save any weekend, or day, is a pretty much giveaway even when I SHOULD NOT be expecting NA-DAH!
From what I’ve heard in passing from other invited guests, my gfs sent out actual invites which have gotten tons of praise! It’s coming up in about 2.5 weeks and I am uber excited and nervous to see everyone. I know the girls are exchanging about a million emails with each other everyday just to plan all this for me! I feel so bad that they have to take so much time to plan and fork over money for little ol’ me. On top of that, they are planning a getaway for me, and FlittleSIL has planned my 1st (yes, first) bachelorette party to Vegas too! Two getaways and a shower. Couldn’t be more spoiled!
I’ve offered my help too because I am weird and nosy like that.
How involved are you with your own showers and bachelorette parties? Do they ask for your opinions? Do you feel guilty they are going all out for you (because I sure do!)?
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13 Responses to “Do You Feel Guilty Like Me?”
I’ve definitely been feeling guilty about that. I don’t want it to be a financial burden for my girls, and since we don’t all live near each other, and no one really lives somewhere big enough to host a party, I had started suggesting things that I would pay for. I know that spurred them to get the planning process under way, and I’ve been kicked out of the planning (though to figure out a weekend, they’ll have to talk to me). Fortunately, my girls know me really well, and they know that what will be the most fun for me is just a simple girls’ night in a location that works for most of them.
We haven’t gotten to that stage of things yet but I know I’ll feel guilty. Like you I’m a doer/planner and a giver. Being on the receiving end is fun but always a bit on the uncomfortable side. Having people throw parties for you when you are usually the one throwing the parties is weird but all the more likely if your friends appreciate all the work you do for them.
I definitely feel this way! My friends are traveling-hours and hours by plane car whatever to be here for my bachelorette weekend. And since they’re all from out of town, its hard not to want to plan out that weekend (since they dont know where to go). I’m just so thankful for such amazing friends:)
Me too! I looove to plan all that stuff and it feels weird to not have to do anything. I keep telling one of my friends that I want to plan the next bridal shower that ANYbody has.
I agree. I feel super awkward and guilty about the whole process. I even felt like the greediest witch in the world when registering. I’m super excited for what they have in store, and I’ll never be able to express how grateful I am to them for what they’re doing.
Same here, I was always the planner so it did feel a bit weird. Add to that the fact that I’m a control-freak and it made it that much more uncomfortable. In the end, I really enjoyed both the B-party and the shower — I still feel guilty about all the gifts I received though.
last year i helped with two bachelorette parties. one was relatively low key, just drinks at home and then some dancing down the street for a casual friend. the second was a blowout for one of my best friends. hip hotel in san francisco, great dinner, bar hopping. the kicker: we made her dress up like a pirate. corset, tutu, thing high leather boots and an elaborate pirate hat, veil included. now that i’m planning my wedding, i now i’ll feel a little guilty about it, but i also now payback is unavoidable. especially since it was my idea to make her ask each person in the first bar for a coin, one coin per person, until she had enough change to pay for her first drink.
Oh my honey bunny, I’m in the same boat as you. All this talk of parties for me makes me sweat bullets…I havent even had a birthday party since I was 5!!! Being the center of attention makes me turn bright red, and I hate people having to put themselves out for me. I told the girls that are planning the bach that if anyone didnt want to pitch in on the “extras” then I would gladly throw money in…like, we got the idea to rent a cabana at the pool at the Monte Carlo, but of course its all extra $$$…All these little things they’re paying for is really unnecessary, but so far everyone is pretty excited!
Just try to keep in perspective that what goes around comes around! I cant wait to plan my girlfriends showers/bachelorettes!!!
Nope, that’s why I am skipping both (and skipping the rehearsal dinner idea). I’m in the minority in thinking that the wedding should just be the wedding/reception, not more! Maybe that’s because we’re both such busy people, and time is a huge premium for us. 
But, rest assured… other people like to plan these things, too. And they look forward to having their own at some point! You have to give to get. 
I was shocked and amazed at how awesome my girls were, they planned (and paid for) so much stuff… I always knew that they were my favorite ladies in the whole wide world, but they really went above and beyond!!! My bachelorette pampering was almost as great as the big wedding day, filled with so much love! I can never thank them enough… Lucky for me I didn’t really have too much time to feel guilty because the whole thing was a big surprise
It’s really refreshing to hear how thankful you are. I just threw a shower for someone on Saturday and I never got a REAL Thank You. I did most of the planning, the other bridesmaid barely did squat and the bride-to-be decides to cuddle up with her after the shower and ignored me (never mind that I’m maid of honor AND I’m marrying the bride’s brother). Oh but I did get a nice thank you via text message and Myspace. Grrrr.
My maid of honor asked me for any ideas, things I loved at showers, things I thought of, things that I can’t STAND, etc. I did feel weird in the beginning though. I have no idea when they’ll be planning, it’s too early for it to be anytime soon (wedding is 10-25-2008). I am very grateful that I do have friends that care about me that they would even consider throwing me a party in my honor.
But think of all the parties and events you organized. Plus I’m sure you’ll be organizing many more events for other in the future. =)
You only get married once in a lifetime so you def. have to party it up. haha. Can’t wait to see ya girlie! Too bad I have to miss vegas tho. =\
See ya later alligator!
Mrs. Cherry Blossom, San Francisco
Age and Occupation: 27, Administrative Asst.
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, District Sales Manager
Engagement Date: December 23, 2006
Wedding Date: May 3, 2008
Venue: Zen Garden in the East Bay w/ reception in a floor-to-ceiling window Atrium with views of the Zen Garden
About Me: After 5 years of dating, we're finally ready to get hitched! I am a lovah of all things wedding, creative, crafty, and definitely DIY bc I love to add a personal touch to everything I gift or make. In my free time, I like to bake, spend time with our family, friends, and my doggies, read my guilty pleasure celebrity gossip and catch up on TV shows.
I’ve been feeling that way lately too! I was always the party planner and the one that did the fun DIY invites and party favors. Now that it’s being done FOR me..it’s so weird to me too! It’s hard to let go. They know this KILLS me so they are not telling me anything about the bachelorette party!
They are sending crazy emails too and even having happy hours WITHOUT me to discuss plans! Sigh…it’s so hard to let go and relax and just let them do what they want!
They aren’t really asking my opinion but I just told my sister what I for sure would not do or wear to the bachelorette party! As far as the bridal shower, my sister has asked me a little more. But I don’t think the planning as started for that as much as it has for the bachelorrete party! I have lots of friends with kids now being the last out of my group to marry. I feel quilty they are leaving their babies for a wknd of fun! But they are super grateful for it apparently! I guess we need to just go with it!