Wedding Blog
Tons of pink & green and general Monopoly stuff has thrown up over every surface of the Petunia home. Because there isn’t just one of any thing, of course: there were 10+ gifts that required wrapping , 30-something Monopoly houses to be spray-painted (and that’s only half of them), more than one hundred favor envelopes and tokens to prepare, etc.:
What there is only one of though is Miss Petunia and for the most part, this has been a one-woman show. Oh, there is one Mr. Petunia, too, and I can’t say altogether that he hasn’t helped at all with this wedding prep nonsense. And other offers of help have been made. But what can I say? For the most part, I’ve turned them all down.
Maybe it’s because I grew up the daughter of divorced parents, with my father basically absent and my mother busy starting a new family, who knows, but I’m fiercely independent. I have accepted some financial help, not saying so would be a lie, but I have done so reluctantly. For the most part, I’ve said no to any other kind of assistance (well, I did ask my MOH to make me door signs, in part because of her awesome design skills). Plus, I also wanted to keep a lot of the details a surprise to my close friends and family members.
I know it’s silly of me to not ask for help when I need it, but I can’t seem to get over it, and I can’t entirely tell if it’s a control-thing with me or just not wanting to seem like I need anyone (which is foolish: everyone needs help sometime: my rational self knows this).Am I the only one like this? How easy was it for you to accept help?
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Share this post: Mass Production, Single Worker
No, it’s perfectly fine for you not to want to accept help. My mom kept volunteering people to do things “they can do the guest book for you” or “they can do the programs.” Um, no thanks. I want my design concept to be carried out how I want it carried out. Perhaps something like tying ribbons or sticking stamps, I might accept help. But I plan on doing most, if not all, of the invitations by myself, because I’m a lot like you!!
I’m the same way. For some reason, I’ve taken on most of the “manual labor” for the wedding, and happily. I don’t know why - I’ve had plenty of offers of help…I just want to, I guess.
I have to say, you’re doing such an awesome job of pulling your theme together! I wish I were a guest!
I was just struggling with you expressed yesterday. I also grew up fiercely independent- so much so that I now live 3 states away from all my family. My FMIL is not a crafty person, sweet as she may be. I know my bridesmaids would help when asked, but much like you, I ‘d rather go at it alone. I don’t think you should worry about it unless it is causing problems with your attitude, interfering with your other responsibilities or offending your family and friends. Rock on with your plans until you feel you absolutely can’t do it on your own anymore.
I do tend to be of the “if you want something done right, do it yourself” mindset, so I delegated non-wedding stuff I wasn’t so concerned about. Cooking? Fiance. Laundry? Fiance.
First off, your wedding is going to be awesome! All the details are fantastic.
I did most of the labor myself as well. I did get some last minute help from the “army” the week before the wedding though. Some bows were not tied to my expectations, but it was fun working together and I only gave them repetitive tasks that did not require thinking 
I also left the decoration of the ceremony and reception up to my DOC and two trusted friends. I had ideas in my head that I described, but I wasn’t sure how they would turn out. It all turned about 1 million times better than I imagined
I would say, give some things up towards the end, which for you is… NOW! It will help you relax and enjoy the moment.
I think that weddings are frequently (well, in recent years at least) seen as a product of the bride. That there’s some sense that “here, this is what the bride can do!” or “here’s how she’ll run a household!” or throw a party, whatever. It’s funny b/c it’s on one hand a pretty antiquated idea, but on the other I’d venture to guess very recent since weddings used to be more a product of the bride’s parents/family. So you might feel extra pressure when it comes to the wedding to do it all yourself…
btw, I’m totally impressed with all your little bits & pieces! I was wondering where you found pink & green Monopoly houses–you’d never guess that you painted them!
i just wanted to tell you how sweet your little monopoly houses are. I wouldn’t mind landed on one of those and paying up. 
the monopoly houses are too cute….i was about to say where did you find those until i read that they’re spray painted…ingenious! i’m totally with you on asking for help…this past weekend…me and my FI punched out 300 tags, glued them, tied bows, and stuffed our favors…we could of asked for help…but we find it to be bothersome for others…
but i did ask for help where my skills were lacking…
I’m a control freak I did most everything myself with a little help from my momma. It’s just me.
It looks like you are doing a marvelous job with all your details! I can’t wait to see the pictures and hear how all your family & friends react!!
I was terrible at it, so I know what you mean. I was raised with the “if I wasn’t here, you’d have to figure it out yourself” mentality and I guess it just stuck. It’s funny though because wedding planning was the only time when it bit me in the behind.
Finally, my boss sat me down and said that I can’t do everything on my own, and that I certainly wasn’t going to do anything on the wedding day, so I’d better delegate. Thank goodness she did!
I haven’t been the best at asking for help either. Only recently that I start to realize that it’s nice when someone help you. I’ve been in a freak-out stress zone the last few weeks and it’s comforting to know that I have friends and family who are there for me and wanting to help with anything. So with all the things coming up that needs to be made and put together, having help will definitely make everything go so much faster and funner!
I am totally like this. But I completely admit that it is because I am a control freak
I tried asking for help - I asked my mother to make me a sign asking guests to use the front door of the church (as opposed to the side door). I told her “Please make it white, with black lettering, saying please use the front door, and put it on a stake so we can put it in the lawn”. The sign she made defies description - black cardboard, multicoloured letters saying “Welcome to Erin and Jason’s wedding, please enter by the front doors” glued on, a picture of us glued in the middle, one of those white crepe-paper fold out bells glued on, globs of glue all over the place, strips of scotch tape providing further reinforcement to the letters (I thought those were temporary, but they were not), and no stake. She informed me they would just “tape it to the door”. I went back and forth for months over the “She worked really hard on this, I don’t want to hurt her feelings” vs. the “I cannot put that monstrosity up at my pretty pretty wedding”. I finally got my friend to make a sign (to my actual specifications this time) and then “confessed” in a panic to my mom that she’d remembered me talking about wanting a sign, she’d made this one, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. My mom was very understanding and said of course I had to use my friend’s sign. What she didn’t mention was that they’d just use BOTH signs, which I didn’t realize until I got this photo back from the photographer.
Everybody is always amazed that the sign is actually more horrible than I described it, but it makes for a good story.
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Mrs. Petunia, Ft. Lauderdale
Age and Occupation: 31, College Professor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Engineering Student/Part-time Barista
Engagement Date: December 8, 2006
Wedding Date: March 2, 2008
Venue: Riverside Hotel
Blogging Since: August 6, 2007
About Me: Our original idea of running off to get married quickly turned into an event with 100+ guests once other people got involved and I, too, got swept away in the lovely madness that is wedding planning. Mr. Petunia and I are obsessed with all things World of Warcraft, Monopoly, and Nintendo, so we’re planning on including some fun “game-y” details into our wedding.
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