Thanks Now, Thanks Later
February 28th, 2008 @ 6:39 pm by Mrs. Penguin
Our first wedding gift rolled in a couple weeks ago! Four months early, wowwie! I think I’ll always remember these Salt and Pepper mills as “our first gift.” Were making memories here, people!
Cole and Mason Tower Mills, Williams Sonoma
I hadn’t even started to think about Thank You cards… I was going to take care of that after the wedding. But with the shower coming up, I realize that more than one set of Thank You cards may be in order. I’ve never been one to notice exactly when we’ve received Thank You’s from weddings/showers I’ve attended, but now that the tables are turned, I want to make sure I make an adequate attempt at “doing the right thing…” even though I’m not exactly sure what that means.
Here’s what Emily Post suggests (from Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette)
All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift.
Who needs a note?
- Anyone who gives you an engagement, shower or wedding gift, even if you have thanked them in person. Individual notes should be written to people who contributed to a group gift.
- Anyone who gives a gift of money: cash, checks, contributions to savings accounts and donations to charities. Mentioning the amount is optional, but it does let the person know the correct amount was received. You should mention what you plan to do with the money.
- Your attendants. A warm personal note attached to your gifts to your attendants will let them know how much you appreciate their efforts and support on your behalf.
- Anyone who hosted a party or shower for you. Ideally these notes should be written within two days of the event. Each host or hostess should be thanked individually with a note and a thank you gift.
- People who house or entertain your wedding guests. A note and a small gift should be sent to anyone who houses or entertains out-of-town wedding guests.
- People who do kindnesses for you. The neighbor who accepts delivery of your gifts when you are at work; the cousin who supervises the parking at the reception – anyone who assists you before, during or after your wedding.
- Suppliers and vendors. You don’t have to write everyone you hire for services, but anyone who exceeds your expectations will appreciate a courteous note of thanks.
- Your parents or whoever is hosting your wedding.
WHEW! Apparently I’m behind in Thank You’s already! Time to bust out the Gocco!
Do you plan to send out one grand Thank You after the wedding, or will you thank your guests for their gifts as they roll in? Between your shower, your bachelorette party, your wedding, and all the gifts you receive in between, will you send more than one thank you for each kind gesture?
***As a fun little side note, this is my 100th Weddingbee Post! Thanks for reading 
Related Posts
16 Responses to “Thanks Now, Thanks Later”
Congratulations on the 100th! 
And those salt/pepper shakers look very modern and sleek.
I heard that if you receive a wedding gift prior to the wedding you need to send a note within 1-2 weeks and if it is received at the wedding or after, it is it be sent within 3 mos…I don’t remember the source of this info…perhaps I read it on weddingbee
Ya, I’ve heard the “within two weeks” rule for gifts received before the wedding (and the same timeframe for shower TYs, too).
I’ll be the first to confess that I DO notice when and if I receive a thank-you note.
I suspect I’m not alone.
It’s always OK to send a thank-you note right away. Really.
I’m so jealous - the salt and pepper mills are no longer available from W & S. I had to switch to the electric version 
Yeah on your 100th post! I have loved reading all of them.
Ps. I agree sending the notes sooner than later is always nicer. I am planning to send some for each “kind gesture.”
I wrote shower thank you’s right away. As for the wedding gift thank you’s, I waited until I got the pro pics back from the photographer so I could incorporate those pictures into the thank you card.
I plan on writing the “thank you”s right away and I’m using the same formula that I used for our engagement party (and my Mom heard a lot of compliments about how personal they were even though I used a system that made writing them so much easier).
1. Greet the gift giver….
“Dear Ann”
2. Express your gratitude.
“Thank you so much for the toaster.”
3. Discuss how you will be using it.
“I can’t wait for us to start using it in our new kitchen.”
4. Mention the Past, Allude to the Future
“It was great to see you at the shower and we look forward to seeing you on our wedding”
5. Grace
“Thank you again for your gift”.
6. Regards
“Love, Jodi & Frank”
I can’t take credit for the formula, I got it from THIS article.
We’re sending out thank yous right away.That way, we aren’t completely bogged down with them when we get back from our honeymoon. I also think people appreciate them because, at least in the case of gifts that are mailed, then they know for certain that you received the gift.
To remedy the issue of before-wedding thank yous, I just bought really cute ones from weddingpaperdivas.com. Love them! Free shipipng and no tax. Fabulous.
jodi…that article was super helpful. My wedding isn’t until December, but I just looked yesterday and someone just bought a bunch of stuff off of the registry, so I need to brush up. So thank you!
We took a cruise for our honeymoon, which involved two or three days in the middle of the Baltic sea with only bridge tournaments and art auctions to amuse us, so we did all of our thank-you notes then. Smallish wedding anyway, so it wasn’t a huge time suck.
We thought we’d be all cool and international by sending them from Estonia. Estonian airmail stamps are….the Rotary International logo. I very nearly said “Um, no thanks, I’ll wait until Sweden,” but by that point I was keen the see the back of them.
Sarah!!! OMG that is an incredibly FABULOUS idea! I’m not sure how excited I will be to write TY’s from my honeymoon but I bet guests at your wedding were just amazed at your thoughtfulness…I am going to have to steal this idea! Maybe draft my thankyous beforehand so I just have to write them out on the honeymoon? Hmm….the possiblities…Thanks for sharing!
This is a really nice list and a great reminder to get lots of thank-yous out. Thanks for sharing
Mrs. Penguin, Sacramento
Age and Occupation: 26, Video & TV Producer/Director/Editor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 14, 2007
Venue: Winery in the Gold Country
About Me: I'm a silly mess of a girl who, above all else in this world, LOVES the Spice Girls. I eat sushi at least 3 times a week, and feel guilty about how much it costs the other 4 days a week. I love designer jeans and cheap accessories. I don't like sweets, but I love the UCLA Bruins!
Since my BMs are throwing me the bachelorette and the shower, I’ll just write them one thank you note encompassing all their awesomeness.
Congrats on your 100th post.