Miss/Ms/Mrs
March 3rd, 2008 @ 10:29 am by Mrs. Penguin
Now that the “Mrs” title is imminent, I’m sitting back and savoring my last few months of being a “Miss”.
I’m a “Miss” at heart. When someone addresses themselves as a “Miss,” I automatically assume that they are young, spunky, and don’t take themselves too seriously.
“Ms,” to me, always implied maturity. Obviously, the word “Ms” is often used when an addresser does not want to assume an addressee’s marital status, but in my mind, one that addresses herself as a “Ms” is very sure of herself, does not think its your business whether she’s married or not, and has plunged head first into womanhood.
I’m eager to be married, but I’m sad to lose my “Miss” title. It’s one more step towards the path of responsibility and adulthood, that dreaded destination that I’ve been avoiding with all my might.
Do you address yourself as a Miss or a Ms, and do you think the title implies something about your personality? Are you excited to become a Mrs.?
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27 Responses to “Miss/Ms/Mrs”
I think of myself as a Miss, however, I cannot wait to become a Mrs.!
I’m so torn on this! My story is complicated by the fact that I’ll actually become “Dr” about 2 months before I become “Mrs”… I still want the minister to announce us as Mr and Mrs, but that might be the only time I really use the title. Too bad, because I always joke to my fiance (after a 7 year relationship) that I worked harder for the “Mrs” than I did for the “Dr”!
emily- same here! although I won’t be changing my last name, so I’ll become a Dr. RATHER than a Mrs. I think I’ll forever be a “Ms.” personally, and soon enough, a “Dr.” professionally. I can’t imagine being a “Mrs.” though- it makes me think of my mother (or his mother!) 
This is probably a southern thing, but when I grew up in Alabama, we all called our childhood friends’ mothers “Miss Firstname” - aka “Miss Joanne”, “Miss Mary Lynn”, even though all of the moms were married. And this wasn’t the old south - I’m only 25. This is how we were introduced to them and I have a feeling the “miss”, instead of “mrs” or “ms”, was probably used to make them feel younger (I remember even calling an 85 yr old woman “Miss Louise”!). So, even though it goes against all rationale (and I wouldn’t use it in a business setting), you can just claim you’re southern and keep calling yourself a “miss”:)
I think of myself as a Mister. But after I got married, I did have to change my name and become “Mr. Bee”.
I’m always “Ms” when it has anything to do with work. When it’s something personal, I was always a “Miss” until I was married.
I loved your description of a ‘Ms.’ That is why I use ‘Ms’ today and why I will continue to use it once I am married
I don’t use Ms. because I’m trying to conceal my marital status, I’m a Ms. because I’m married yet kept my own name.
I think of Miss more for young girls, so I’ve been Ms. since I was 18ish.
Now that I’m married, I’m still a Ms., through and through. I wouldn’t say it’s because I’m trying to conceal my marital status, though. It’s more that men’s titles don’t change when they get married, so why should mine?
I am definitely a Ms., and I fit your above description well. I could care less about becoming a Mrs. in comparison to becoming a Dr. But then again, I am not sappy or sentimental or traditional, I don’t want to change my last name, and I’d probably just go by Ms. anyways as opposed to Mrs. My fiance will be Dr. exactly one week before the wedding, but I’ll still have a couple years left, so I’m afraid people will start calling me Mrs. and just continue to do so even after I am Dr!
To add to my comment above, I did change my last name, but I still prefer Ms.
I’m a Miss cause I still feel like I’m “playing grown-up” sometimes (just graduated from college last year and I’m 22!). Mrs. still feels so old to me but I am excited to become one!!
I have always been a Ms. Oddly enough, now that I am getting married I am for the first time becoming a Miss - it is common for my FI’s teenage son and his friends to call their various friends’ moms “Miss Louise, Miss Susan, Miss Kelle.” When checking into hotels, FI have been called Mr. and Mrs. a couple of times, which we find quite sweet, although he is still a little surprised when I make the reservation and they call us Mr. and Mrs. MyLastName!
I know when I get married I’ll start filling everything out as “Mrs” but I feel like I need kids before I become a TRUE “MRS.”
I may hold onto Ms. longer than I thought. I’m changing my name for sure though.
Or if I was a teacher. Then I’d probably definitely go by Mrs.
I still consider myself a Miss, and I’ll be turning 30 next year. For some reason, the only thing that comes to mind when I hear Ms is woman who are divorced. I just never identified with Ms. It’s going to be very weird to be called Mrs now. I’ve got a car, a career and a mortgage, but hearing “Mrs” makes me feel old
I’m a “Ms.” and I can’t remember the last time I liked being called a “Miss.” Probably high school. My marital status is nobody’s business and will continue to be nobody’s business once FI and I tie the knot. As much as I want to be his wife, I do NOT EVER want to be a “Mrs.” and I loathe the fact that it will inevitably happen (by mistake, by people who stubbornly refuse to accept my choice, etc). Even though I like my own name and will probably be keeping it, I don’t think I’d feel as strongly about the issue if our title system was fully equitable, so I wouldn’t have to worry about being addressed as “Mrs. HisLast”…or even worse, “Mrs. HisFirst HisLast.” If I could be assured of being addressed as “Ms. OurLast,” I think it wouldn’t be quite so repugnant to me.
That’s so funny–I totally identify with being a “Miss” as well! For some reason, I’ve always felt special when I’m addressed as Miss, and in the last several years have taken to calling most of my girlfriends Miss at one time or another. Now many of them are married–and it’s so hard for me to drop the “Miss”!
I’m in favor of the idea/grammatical use of “Ms.” but … (I’m planning on keeping my last name, so becoming Mrs. My Last Name is a little funky) there definitely are funny little connotations that come from Miss vs. Ms vs. Mrs–great observation!
I hate going by my last name at all. I’m just Melissa. I feel better with “Miss” and I’m ok with “Ms” since it kind of sounds like “Miss” -Just “Mizz.” I’m 32 and still prefer Miss to anything else. I don’t care to be “Mrs”-although I work at a school and kids and teachers often call me “Mrs.” When I do end up getting married, I’m keeping my name–and still would use Miss if I could find a way! (Besides, who cares–Guys are always “Mr.”) I say, be a “Miss” if you want to!
Like a lot of other people on here, I’ve always been a “Ms” and will continue to be a “Ms” for a darn long time, precisely because it is no one’s business what my marital status is, and it has always pissed me off that men have no tell tale title that gives away their marital status.
I won’t even be announced as a “Mrs” on our wedding day - I’m 99% likely to be keeping my own name (barring some awesome idea between us to come up with a completely new name), so when we’re announced we will be “For the first time as husband and wife (him) and (me)!”
Now about seven months after my change (and I’m a teacher–the change is obvious and realized EVERY DAY) it’s all growing on me. I was sad to lose my maiden name and my MISS title (it was my choice and seriously I love my married name, but you know after 26 years it’s JUST not the same, either). 
It’s different and new and strange and sweet and endearing all at once! You’ll get used to it.
mrs be damned! I’m a miss inside and out.
hell someone asked me today if I was “out of class for the day” I’m sticking with my youthful looks and my ability to get the best cuts of meat at the butcher and keeping mrs. in my purse for special occasions!
or until I get the korean-mom-perm.
I’m totally a Ms. I have always called myself a Ms. I’m not sure what that says about my personality! I hadn’t thought about it! I am very opinionated…I guess it says that about me. !!!
I am a teacher so I think about it all the time. My 3rd graders seldomly call me Mrs but as soon as others hear, they immediately shout “She’s not married YET! Don’t call her Mrs!”
Several of my kids and former as well as future students have started to call me Mrs futurelastname already. They claim they are practicing. I keep telling them…”Hey slow down! I won’t be a Mrs for more than a year!”
They’re so cute:)
I am in agreement with those of you taking Ms. My partner will not change his title when we marry. Why should I? I am taking his last name, which was a big decision for both of us. We mostly did it for convenience.
But the “Ms.” stays!!
I was resolutely a Miss, too, though now I’m a Ms, except here, because I didn’t take my husband’s name, nor he mine. Kinda funny that at least part of the reason I didn’t change my name was that so I wouldn’t have to notify a dozen institutions of the name change, and then forgot about telling my bank I wasn’t a Miss anymore, and ended up with Miss on my new cheques. And the account is joint now and the cheques also incorrecly have only the first part of my husband’s two part given name on the cheques (the part that makes him indistinguishable from his sibs, if you know how Chinese names usually work.)
Mrs. Penguin, Sacramento
Age and Occupation: 26, Video & TV Producer/Director/Editor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
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About Me: I'm a silly mess of a girl who, above all else in this world, LOVES the Spice Girls. I eat sushi at least 3 times a week, and feel guilty about how much it costs the other 4 days a week. I love designer jeans and cheap accessories. I don't like sweets, but I love the UCLA Bruins!
I’ve always thought of myself as Ms. since sometime in high school. Miss makes me think of a younger girl or teenager, but not an adult. I’ve been married a year now (today!) but I still think of myself as a Ms. vs. a Mrs.