Before we sent out our Save the Dates, there was much talk about the guest list. You all know how it goes… there is the A list, the B list, the people we will invite but there is no way they will come list, etc. There were two people on our “no way they will come” list that are very special to me - my Grandpa’s brothers (also known as my Great Uncles). My Grandpa and I were very close - after two boys I was his first granddaughter. As I was growing up we lived in the same town so I spent a lot of time at their house… things are always more fun when you’re pretty much allowed to do whatever you want! Needless to say, we had a really special relationship so I took it pretty hard when he passed away. I was only in 6th grade, old enough to understand what death meant but young enough that it was still hard to understand.
Even though they’ve lived in California for as long as I can remember, our family was always particularly close to two of my Grandpa’s brothers. Even after he passed away there were still many visits and calls; they made an effort to keep in touch with all of us. But these days everyone is a little older and a little further away and I had no expectations that they would actually make the long trip from California to Wisconsin. Flights, hotel rooms, it’s a lot to ask even of family. But sure enough, after we mailed the Save the Dates I received two of the nicest emails from my Great Uncles telling me how excited they are and that they’ve already booked their flights and hotel rooms. I get all emotional just thinking about it!
This was my first real wedding reality check. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the little details and start to see the guest list as an ever increasing list of expenses, but this is what really matters. People who have known you since the day that you were born flying across the country to watch you start this new chapter of your life. It sounds a little silly, but having my Grandpa’s brothers there with us will most definitely make me feel like he is there too. This also might mean I need to get my hands on some sort of a tranquilizer so that I don’t sob all my make-up off 35 seconds after it’s applied. And just because I like pictures, here is a little Miss Sundae with my Mom and Grandpa, circa 1983:
Have you experienced any wedding “reality checks?” Have any of your guests surprised you with their excitement/effort in attending?
That’s such a sweet story!! Thanks for sharing. Family is soooo special. My great aunts are really feel like 2nd and 3rd grandmothers to me, I’m even named after one of them.
I had a small wedding - meaning family and 4 of my girlfriends.
One of my girlfriends is an event planner. Big corporate conferences and what not. When I called to tell her the date she gasped - she had a conference that weekend in Tahoe. Luckily she was at the beginning of the planning phase and somehow convinced the company they should have the conference the weekend before 
That made me feel pretty special.
Yes! I learned from my mother that an old friend of hers from high school that has reconnected with her and his wife will be travelling to my wedding from Philadelphia to Tennessee, even though he hasn’t been on an airplane since he came home from the Vietnam War!
Thanks for this post. I am about to send out my STDs and am so caught up in the headcount that I keep forgetting how special it will be to share this day with our family and friends. I am not particularly close to either side of my extended family, so rather than expect them to get on my nerves I am really trying to focus on this being a major family event.
yes! my cousin and his wife have 4 small kids (and we are having an adult-only reception) are coming! I was shocked!
PS: I hope your mom still has that t-shirt! frakkin awesome.
I had color-coded our guest list - much to FI’s amusement - with regard to how likely I thought various guests were to attend. And I had a lot of input on that, so it wasn’t just my prejudices… Since sending STDs we have found that a lot of folks we thought would never in the world show up are actually coming! And while I was also seriously stressing about the numbers when I made the list, now I just think its so nice that people are going out of their way to attend - people we really never thought would go to the trouble.
This is the best part about getting married! People really come through for you when you least expect it. We got married in Singapore (we live here) and had 7 people fly in from North America, 4 from Australia, 2 from Vietnam, 20 from Sri Lanka (my home). Just looking around the room that night and seeing everyone who was there for us made all the crazed planning worh it.
My grandparents had their own table of friends who all knew me from birth, one of them even flew all the way from Canada! It was very touching
I am so pleased for you! How wonderful it will be to have two such special people there (and another in spirit).
I am such a sap and this totally made me cry.
I was really off on who I though would go out of their way. My wedding isn’t until December and the save the dates haven’t even gone out yet, but the date has been set and most of the family knows. Rumblings have already started on my fiance’s side of the family, that people as close as his Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles won’t be coming if it snows, the religious ceremony isn’t to their liking, they can’t find a baby sitter, they don’t feel like it, etc. They live two hours away. I feel as if they are throwing excuses out there already to see which ones stick…they might as well just say ‘we don’t want to come.’ I haven’t even sent out an invitation. So far my response has been to just ignore them, figuring it was just a means of getting a rise out of me (they tend to be a bit on the dramatic side and I refuse to play into it). But, frankly I’m getting sick of hearing it. I’m just woried that it’s going to be hurtful for my fiance when he gets to the wedding and it’s 90% my family…who will come from the four corners of the earth for a good party 
Anybody have any suggestions?
Yeah I was totally shocked by several of my family members. Everyone has to travel for our wedding since it isnt a place either of us grew up. What amazed me is that right after I sent out our Save the Dates to everyone, one of my old teachers from grade school who I was also very close to because I was best buddies with her son all through high school sent me an email on our website saying they couldnt wait for the wedding and were really excited for us. I was completely shocked, I mean I had invited her but I totally didnt expect her to travel 3 hours to come to a wedding for someone she hadnt seen in like 4 years. That was really awesome. I also have several cousins who are coming in from Montana, Phonix (hopefully), and Miami so my family has definatly stepped up. His family well thats another story….
Mrs. Sundae, Chicago/Lake Geneva, WI
Age and Occupation: 28, Knowledge Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Investment Advisor
Engagement Date: July 20, 2007
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: February 5, 2008
Venue: The Abbey Resort
About Me: It’s hard to believe that by the time Mr. Sundae and I get married we will have been together for almost ten years. When we first met in college we split dollar pitchers and now we share the mortgage payments. Despite our love for the city we are looking forward to tying the knot in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.
I’ve been surprised by the LACK of effort in attending, ha. My own grandparents aren’t even coming to my wedding. Seriously! They’re not deathly ill or unable to travel, just old and grumpy. When they received an invitation to our engagement party, my grandmother called up my mother and wanted to know why she received an invitation, of course she wouldn’t go. We figured they wouldn’t come to the wedding, even though my parents offered to drive them there, so they wouldn’t have to make the trip themselves (it’s about 2 hours away from where my grandparents live). So, in order to have something my grandmother would attend, my mother decided to have one of the showers right in her city. It will only be about 5 people total since nobody else really lives there, but we figured if it’s right there, she’ll come. My mother is holding it at one of her favorite restaurants, the invitations just went out — and she called to say she doesn’t think she’ll be able to make it.
This really makes me sad, because I have always been SO close to my grandmother, but if she doesn’t want to come, nobody can force her.
What REALLY pisses me off though is the fact that my fiance’s grandmother continually says things like “It’s okay that she’s not going to come, I love you more than enough so I can be your real grandmother. I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world!” and I loathe that she is implying that my grandmother doesn’t LOVE me and that’s why she’s not coming.