Wedding Blog
One of the things that we hope to get started on soon is a seating chart for our guests. Yes, we know that our invitations haven’t gone out yet (but will be in the mail early next week!), but I’ve heard that it is easier to make a seating chart ahead of time and then modify it as people say they can come in than it is to start from scratch after the RSVP deadline.
Which brings us to one of our wedding “problems” that we have put off addressing more or less since we got engaged. Where do we sit? We’ve nixed the idea of a traditional, last supper-style head table. We also aren’t too fond of having a sweetheart table. And we want our attendants to be seated with their significant others, as they will be coming from out of town and will not know many people (if any) people at the wedding.
Here’s the lineup of players:
Us (Mr. & Miss Dahlia)
Maid of Honor + boyfriend (from out of town)
Bridesmaid 1 (my brother’s girlfriend) + Groomsman 1 (my brother)
Bridesmaid 2 (Mr. Dahlia’s sister) + boyfriend
Best man + girlfriend (from out of town)
Groomsman 2 (my brother; girlfriend is out of the country and won’t be in attendance)
Which leaves 11 of us. Not a problem, right?
Except that we have round tables that seat 10. Further complications are that there may be a mini-reunion of friends of Maid of Honor whom she hasn’t seen in years, and mini-reunion of friends of Best Man whom he hasn’t seen in a couple of years.
Where are you sitting at your wedding? And where should we sit at our wedding?
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do you have to sit with your bridal party? fi and i aren’t. a lot of them are actually at different tables so they can sit next to their family, significant others, or friends they haven’t seen in a long time. fi and i are actually sitting with our parents and other elders.
why don’t you try splitting your bridal party up to different tables. also ask yourself, who do you really want to sit with at the reception.
You could slill do a rectangular table and have people on both sides. If they are not big enough you can get 2 smaller and place them end to end or side by side for a longer or squarer look and seet all around the table. Then place the friends at a round table nearby. They will ahve plenty of time to catch up after dinner. They are part of the bridal party and thus have a few responsibilities during dinner, ie toasts, helping solve problems, etc. They can then grab a chair and hang out with thier friends during dancing and any after party.
Could you have a long table where you could sit on both sides?
We didn’t want the traditional table with all bridal party on one side or the sweetheart table either so we had a large rectangular table for the bridal party and their guests and we sat with them. Everyone else sat at round tables. This depends on the layout of your venue though if this is even possible.
We are doing a sweetheart table so it’s easier for me to go change and mingle without a whole production of people standing up to get out of my way….there will be separate headtables on either side of us for my side of the family and then his side.
We’re sitting with our parents, since they’re the most important people to us.
We’re asking our attendents who they would be most comfortable sitting with, because I know that we will be up most of the time talking to our guests, so I’d rather have them sitting with people with whom they want to spend time.
We’ll probably sit with our grandparents, or just steal seats when people get up. lol. (Our reception is VERY casual (picnic-style), though, so that might not be an option for a more traditional wedding.)
It is helpful to remember that the assigned seating will probably last only through dinner; after that folks will wander and mingle. As the bride and groom, I think its part of your job to go and see the guests - in our case, particularly because we aren’t having a receiving line. So we expect to be sitting everywhere and only at “our” table while we are actually eating.
Actually I don’t know what we will do, as we also have round tables of 8 to 10, which is also one person too small to accomodate both our families (11 of us).
Believe it or not, the sweetheart table was not my first choice either… However, I’m really happy that we ended up doing the sweetheart table. It really allowed us to get in some good alone time, and I treasure those alone moments we had to talk. You do not understand until you are there how strange it is to be the CENTER of attention as a bride and groom - everyone is there for you, everyones love is focused on you… it is an amazing feeling, and overwhelming
We were lucky enough to have a small grouping of (5) booths at our venue (the only booths in the place) to use as our wedding party ‘area’. We (bride and groom) took the center booth, and we filled the other four booths with our ‘maids’ and ‘men’ and their significant others/boyfriends/girlfriends/good friends… It worked out perfect, and we were able to do a smaller centerpiece coupled with vases at the booth tables to hold the bridesmaids bouquets.
As far as the seating chart goes, go ahead and put together a rough idea of whom you want with whom, and be flexible because it will change a million times right up until the big day… Good Luck 
We had the same problem, no last-supper or sweetheart options for us. So we compromised and made a big upside-down “U” shaped table that would seat about 25 of us. People sat on all sides of the table, and each attendant was able to sit with their date. We sat in the middle at the top of the “U” so everyone could see us. Then people were able to come up to us and say hi during dinner without having a lot of people in the way.
It also allowed our MC to stand in the empty space and give speeches. All in all, my hubby was right! It did work!
we had a sweetheart table close to our family tables, and the wedding party was scattered among the guests with their friends (where we would have seated them even if they weren’t in the wedding party). instead of a sweetheart table, you could sit with your family.
we are sitting at a table with our siblings (MOH and and best man), our parents, and our three grandmothers. my sister will have a guest with her, his brother likely will not.
our attendants (4 on each side, minus the best man and MOH) and their guests will be seated as they would if they weren’t in the wedding– with people they know and are friends with (or are related to, in some cases).
our tables seat 12, which helps. we’re very happy with this solution.
we’re doing a rectangular table with just us with two circular tables on each side connected…. that sounds confusing, but to make it simpler, it kind of looks like a barbell. No one will be sitting in front on us, but our bridal party will be sitting around the two round tables. We’re probably using 8 seaters for the two rounds. It was actually recommended to me by someone when we were venue shopping. It sounded great to us because we really wanted to sit with our party, and it was too large to fit at a table that seats 12.
Truthfully, where you sit your bridal party is not a huge deal. You’re sitting for 45 minutes max for dinner, and the rest of the night everyone is up dancing or hopping around tables to visit. I really wouldn’t worry about it, nor would I stress over sitting your MOH/BM with their friends for the mini-reunion, because they’re not going to be seated for that long.
We’re doing a head table with people on both sides, of us and the bridal party, without dates. It would have been 24 people WITH dates and that’s too much; and frankly, I don’t feel guilty about separating people from their dates for 45 minutes. Several times, my fiance or I have been in a bridal party and we’ve been seated apart, and it is really NOT a big deal and neither of us has ever minded. By the time dinner is served, people just shuffle around anyway and sit elsewhere to catch up, so it’s never bothered us.
We had planned to sit with our parents and his siblings, but…stuff happened, and we ended up with a sweetheart table. It was awkward. I wouldn’t suggest it.
I’d check with your venue about the acutal size of the round. I’m a hostess at a restaurant with several large round tables. We tell people they seat 8/10 but in reality you can get 10/12 in comfortably. I’m sure 11 will fit fine as long as its not an 8 person round that they are squeezing 10 into.
Good luck!
we sat with our friends (some were in the bridal party) and the rest of the bridal party was spread out at the other 3 tables of friends. our parents each sat at a table with their closest friends (ie: his parents and my parents sat separately, with their own sets of friends)
It was fantastic - and quite frankly, we weren’t seated that much anyway…we spent most of the night partying and talking to people.
My reception venue called what we are doing a harvest table. The bride and groom are at one end of a rectangular table facing the guests. The bridesmaids sit along the side where the bride is and the groomsmen sit along the side where the groom is so they can face each other and you will face your guests and bridal party. We are not having significant others sit during dinner because the table isn’t large enough- but you could have them sit there too. (Hope this makes sense)
My brother in law had a similar problem at thier wedding. What they eventually did is have 12 seater tables and left two open spaces, so in other words, 10 guests seated per table. They then went around to each table and sat with the group for about an 1/2 - 1 hour each.
It was really nice because all of their guests got to chat to them and they didnt have to worry too much about main tables etc.
Hey Bride2bee2009
We were going to do a similar thing for our wedding, but then decided to just seat the bridesmaids and best men at our tables and everyone else normally.
Our co-ordinator suggested to us that we should rather use 6 seaters on each side as, when its done with 8 seaters (which, ironically is also what i wanted) that some people have their back facing your bridal party
We’re doing one huge head table with all of our attendants and their dates with seating on both sides. We’ll be using rectangular tables with two half rounds on either end. It’s a little unusual, but it’s more fun and everyone can sit together!
It sounds like you may need to just sit down and decide who you want to sit with… everyone that is- family, bridal party, etc… and then figure out a table that is big enough, be it a rectangle, square, round, or mixture of all of them. I have seen so many different ways that the tables are arranged. I do think that it is very important that you include the bridal party’s significant others- there is nothing worse then being a “plus one” all alone…. dinner will pass so very quickly and you will not really have a ton of time to sit and chat anyhow- so perhaps rethink the “sweetheart table”?? It is such a great idea, especially when it is in a central location!
we’re having two long rectangular tables in total, and we are sitting with our friends (no bridal party for us) on one of them. Our families are on the other table, his family in the middle, mine split at the two edges (divorced parents are ugly beasts). the tables will be close, anyway, so people will have the chance to see everyone and hopefully get to talk to who they want to.
I hope
We are sitting at a large table with friends as our family situation is just too complicated to navigate!
Have you asked if they could squeeze 11 around a table for 10? That is what we’re doing and it looks absolutely fine.
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Ms. Dahlia, Detroit/Cleveland
Age and Occupation: 24, PhD Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, IT System Administrator
Engagement Date: December 31, 2006
Wedding Date: May 2008
Blogging Since: September 19, 2007
Venue: United Methodist Cathedral & historic downtown hotel in Cleveland
About Me: I enjoy cooking, dancing and swimming. I am a geek and apply game theory to my everyday life. Winter is my favorite time of year, especially when spent curled up with good coffee and a book by Madeleine L'Engle.
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