Since my wedding invitation design is pretty much set, it’s time to finalize the guest list and get all the addresses. Finalizing the guest list itself was a hard thing to do - I mean it got to the point that Mr. Flamingo and I were flipping coins to make a decision. Overall we are happy with our choices, but now collecting all the addresses seems to be an even more tedious task.
Now, if I’m not mistaken, etiquette says that the parents of the bride and groom get the job of collecting all the addresses, but what do you do when they simply don’t? I’ve asked them politely, but not everyone is taking their job to heart.
How did you ask the parents? Or are you avoiding that whole step and doing it yourself? Any tips that would help me and other brides-to-be?
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I, unfortunately, had to pull the “get me their address or they’re not getting an invitation” with my mom. That helped. Otherwise we just sent out emails with “what’s your address?” and FI and his parents were great about getting addresses.
Luckily I did that whole process with the save the dates so I was dealing with that in January instead of now when it’s invite time.
I used my parents holiday card mailing list, which worked out great!
I also (surprsingly) found A LOT of people on whitepages.com
We are just doing it ourselves. Easier that way.
Our wedding website is through weddingwindow, so I am emailing those I have email addresses of and asking them to enter their street addresses online in the “address book” section.
I had the same problem with my FMIL. I nagged and nagged for addresses, calling once a week for a month to ask! Finally it came to the point where all the invites were out except to my fiance’s extended family (and I had to GOOGLE his immediate family! So who knows if they’re right), and my fiance made me proud and put his foot down. He told his mom that if she did not get me the addresses within three days, these guests would not only not receive invitations, but would not be included in verbal invites either, as the RSVP date was only a week away! Needless to say my parents were happy to fill in the gaps 
My parents came up with their list of names, and then I actually sat down with my dad for over an hour and worked with him to collect all the addresses. He went through his rolodex or his community directories or whatnot, and I would type them into the master excel sheet. It was just much easier that I hold their hand through the process, and was able to maintain some control over how fast they were able to get me the info I needed!
There’s always http://www.anywho.com to find addresses. And if the guests are homeowners, you might be able to find their addresses on the county Property Assessor’s website.
We had all our addresses ages ago for the Save the Dates, but it was like pulling teeth to get them from my mother. I finally had to break down and state that anyone whose address I did not have by just wouldn’t be invited, and if it wasn’t someone from my list, I certainly wasn’t going to chase them down. I hated resorting to threats, but it definitely worked!
I flat out told my mother, get everyone’s address. ASAP. that was a year ago….we finished getting them all in january. we asked FI’s mom, mmm, bout 10 times. finally we went over and stole her address book. luckily, 99% of them were in there, and the rest I made my FI call to get.
I filled in the addresses for all that I could find or research - and then divvied up the rest to each appropriate person: my fiance, my mom and my dad. If there were any that I should be responsible for leftover, my Maid of Honor offered to handle those. I’m lucky to have such a helpful wedding party.
Well, let’s just see if they all get their addresses done, eh?
I hear ya! Tracking down all those addresses has been (and still is) one of the biggest pains! My dad’s been a little helpful, but if you have contact with any of those same relatives, just get them yourself. Break etiquette in this situation, because the longer you wait, the more annoying it is to address-hunt!
I found emailing the guest list to my dad was the easiest prompter. He could see the gaping holes himself, and say, “Oh, I’ve been meaning to call Cousin Judy, anyway! I will ask her about Steve, Bill, and Joe.”
MY FMIL was a doll, and gave me her list fairly immediately…
Just remember when it comes time to send, it WILL get done! Otherwise, they don’t get invites…
Yes definitely send out reminders with still needed addresses regularly, or if you have the guest’s email (or if they are on MSN or Facebook haha), I found contacting them directly was faster.
What was also amusing was how I’d get addresses for people I didn’t know I was supposed to be inviting >_>
I asked my guests to email me their address when I broadcasted my STD Of course, I am not conventional and I don’t like to conform to etiquette norms - we are in the digital age now!
Oh I forgot to say that my STD was digital also.
I’d simply nab a couple of girl friends and my FB and scour the internet and phone book for most of them. That way I can type them into Excel quickly. The ones I cannot find or appear to be incorrect I’d start aggressively going after the parents for. If they don’t give them to you, try grandparents (they should know where their family lives) or simply tell your parents that only those you have addresses for will be invited.
Hello
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Ugh, this was by far the worst part so far. I let FH deal with his parents so that I didn’t become the nagging bridezilla, and I just gave my parents a deadline. My parents and FH’s mom did a great job, but getting FH’s dad’s addresses was like pulling teeth and resulted in a fight over Christmas.
The truth is that you can’t invite anyone whose address you don’t have. That should get them moving. Then again, some friends who got married were joking that there were some family members whose addresses they didn’t have on the day of the wedding!
Mrs. Flamingo, Montreal, Canada
Age and Occupation: 25, Graphic Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Nursing Student
Engagement Date: December 2004
Wedding Date: June 21, 2008
Venue: Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)
About Me: I am a passionate designer who loves anything pretty. I heart all paper products (eco-friendly of course). My passion revolves around anything considered glamour; vintage and modern. In my free time, I love reading Martha mags, designing jewelry and making a pit-stop at Starbucks for a chai latte. I'm also a chocoholic at heart and my family drools over my homemade truffles.
If it’s their friends/family how bout a “I need ____ address or they are not invited to the wedding”?? Maybe that’ll light the fire. We all know how much our parents insist there friends be on the guest list!
Or else maybe stressing the importance of the timing. I know said wedding is 4 months away and this may not seem important today. But it is. We need to collect the addresses (2 weeks), have the invitations addressed (in one month), and in the mail (in two months) before the wedding, so we don’t have 4 months!
I just kept on my husband and my mom. I’d send out a ‘what’s still missing’ list every couple of days.