My FMIL flew in from Minnesota this weekend and we had a super-great weekend of family-on-family action! We scheduled our food tasting for this weekend so she could accompany us and try out the foods that we were auditioning for the wedding. In short, it was a disaster, but fun nonetheless.
Hazy, like my opinion on our tasting.
The menu options that our venue provides sound mighty appetizing, and I was really excited to be able to try out some of the goodies that we’d possibly serve to our guests. We were particularly smitten with two entree choices, the first being Prime Rib au Jus, the second being a Duck a L’orange. The Prime Rib we weren’t so worried about, it’s understandable that they wouldn’t roast up a big ol’ slab of meat for just us, but we were hoping to catch a taste of the duck… after all, we’ve had some pretty mediocre duck at some pretty fantastic restaurants, and no doubt, if we were going to feature it on our menu, it had better be good, or we could just as easily go with another option.
Our event coordinator from the get-go, was pretty stern with us that we would probably not be able to try the duck, as they order it by the case and it wouldn’t be that economical for them to order a big case of duck just for us to try. We were hoping that they would realize that it was important for us to try something that we were going to spend a whole heck of a lot of money on, so we hinted that this was indeed our entree of choice, and hoped that they would run to the grocery store to buy one leg to whip up for us. No such luck, however 
So, they gave us a sampling of 3 or 4 dishes that we never intended to choose in the first place and sent us on our merry way. Neither Mr. Penguin nor I are big on making a scene, so we left, our bellies full of a bunch of entrees we didn’t really want to serve, our heads hanging low.
Neither of my chins are thrilled about how this all went down.
We had always intended to give our guests the option of choosing one entree or another, but without having tasted ANY of the entrees we wanted to, we’re back to the drawing board. The venue gives us the option of serving a mixed plate, that being a Filet Mignon paired with Salmon, and our event coordinator talked up that option like it was the way we should go. I liked the idea of giving our guests the option of one dish or another, but having tried NONE of the dishes we wanted, I’m ready to go with her suggestion. I personally enjoy the mixed dish, but I can understand how some guests might prefer to be able to pick from two dishes.
My gut instinct as of now is to go with her suggestion.
So, what would you do? Serve the Surf and Turf, per the coordinator’s recommendation, or give guests the option of picking two dishes that you’ve never tried?
bummer pengy! i don’t know what i’d do…i can’t believe they wouldn’t accomodate you. the pp had a great suggestion…piggy back on an upcoming event and ask them to make an extra plate for you. i love food so i can’t imagine picking blindly as it were. GL and keep us posted.
I don’t understand why venues are so unaccommodating when it comes to tasting. It’s not like we’re talking about some spare pocket change here.
The executive chef at our venue REFUSES to do tastings more than 10 weeks before the wedding. I get it — seasons change, new ideas come to mind — but if you’re invitations aren’t already in the mail, they have at the very least already been made, and the meal choice is probably on there, since we have to give a count per dish. So we were stuck with what to do — and the venue was just like “everyone else figures out how to make it work, so can you.” We just wound up going down the line and deciding we would do some fish-based dish and some poultry-based dish and then at the tasting itself we’ll decide what fish and whether we want cornish hen, chicken, or duck… but we could be missing out on some great beef, or lab, or who knows what, but we had to pick BEFORE the tasting. WTF?
Were there any entrees that you tried that you did like and would be comfortable picking?
When I read this I couldn’t help wonder why she is pushing the surf & turf so hard? Combined with your description of her and their unaccommodating behavior, it makes me a little suspicious.
When you originally signed up with them, did they tell you could have a tasting? because I would call them back up and be more forceful and tell them that you are very interesting in having the duck dish served but that you need to taste it before it’s served and see what they can do. Remind them gently that you are the customer and (per your original conversation) require tasting the exact menu before you make a selection. You can add that you just were not satisfied with the options you tasted and ask what they can do for you. You’re paying a lot of money for this- I think they should be much more accommodating. Good luck.
Ok - this might be a really weird idea - but maybe you could ask your location - if YOU supply the duck for them - will they make the duck? I just looked… and safeway sells them for 5lb of frozen duck for 11.49.
I think that if i really wanted it - i might consider doing this.
I can’t believe i just searched the internet for grocery stores in Sacremento that sell ducks!
wild! seriously!
i would probably go with my coordinator’s suggestion too. has she tasted that before?
i dont know if its bc its early, or i’m goofy. but that caption about both of your chins had me lmao!
Hmmm. That is really annoying! I’m not really sure WHAT I would do, aside from being kind of pissy–I really think they should be more accommodating. But then, I guess they figure you’re going to have to choose SOMETHING and they don’t need to go out of their way because they’ve already bagged you. :-/ That makes me kind of grumpy. I think I might choose one of the dishes I hadn’t tried, and one of the dishes I had. I think it’s nice to give people an option between fish and red meat–so the “surf n turf” option doesn’t sound bad to me. Although my dad has pointed out that he wouldn’t choose fish at a wedding. Ugh, I don’t know.
Once again, you crack me up.
I would be careful about plating salmon and steak together. Some people might enjoy it, but a lot of people don’t eat red meat, or only eat fish and so it would be a waste on them!
Bummer that your caterer is being so inflexible.
The problem is, duck can be really good or really bad. If you don’t know anything about their duck, its pretty risky.
We didn’t even ask about tasting at our venue, so I am clueless about the process. However, our venue is our country club, so we just picked our favorite dishes we have when we normally eat there, and asked to have them served as a buffet. Some are not actually on their catering menu, but the chef was willing to work with us on that. I would be pretty worried about serving food that I had never actually tasted.
We are serving surf and turf at our wedding–beef tenderloin with an option of lobster tail or shrimp. If people don’t eat red meat they can request the lobster and shrimp, or all lobster…or all shrimp…so I wouldn’t worry–If one of your guests doesn’t eat red meat they can simply request that the “turf” be left off the plate.
@sarahblueeyes23: Tee Hee! You’re so sweet for doing that! We thought about bringing in a few duck breasts for them too.
I’m sad to hear that many of you have similar experiences to mine!
I think the coordinator was pushing the mixed plate because she thinks its the easiest choice for us, as in, we wouldn’t have to give a headcount of who eats what and where they’re seated. I also think that the chef specializes in those two particular dishes, so she wanted to let us know that.
Unfortunately our invitations have to go out within the next few weeks, and my schedule is busy beyond belief so I wont be able to make it up to the venue once more. Sigh. Any more opinions on whether you’d serve a split plate or if you’d rather let your guests choose one or the other is welcome!
Is the surf and turf more expensive than what you were originally planning on doing? It just seems really weird that they were so unaccomodating…like they want you to feel like you HAVE to go with the more expensive choice, because that’s what the planner talked up. ARG…I would be frustrated too! Good Luck!!!
@oneslybookworm: Its a flat per head charge, so no matter what we pick, its the same price.
I wouldn’t choose the dishes you’ve never tried. If you have no other options, I would go with the mixed plate. One of the 2 choices has to be good. If you give people a blind choice, they might not like it. You might not like it. I would either go back to them and insist that you try something you actually want to serve or go with the mixed plate. Good luck. Sorry this is frustrating!
I love salmon and I love beef, but the idea of them together on a plate is unappetizer - both are such strong flavors! I would not trust a venue that refused to let you taste your preferred food options; in fact, we are eliminating any venues that do not offer tastings UP FRONT before we decide to go with them. I’m sorry you find yourself in this situation, and I recommend you do as some others have suggested and offer to bring the duck in yourself so they can prepare it!
I’m curious, how did the parents react to this stringent, unaccomodating policy?
I just wanted to add that this is a great question for other brides to ask when they are starting to interview venues/caterers. They should know *exactly* what they get to taste before they book and negotiate it so they are happy. My own venue did a sort of open house where couples getting married there this year could come and taste the food- so it was buffet style, but not everything was available to taste. After trying some of the food and not liking it, there’s no way I would serve something I didn’t try. Had I known I wouldn’t be able to taste everything I might have negotiated that into the contract.
Anyway back to Miss Penguin 
Can the venue give you any referrals so you can contact other brides to get their opinions on the food? I know taste is subjective but it might help to get an idea.
That said, I think the mixed plate is the best choice. My cousin just had a wedding where she served surf & turf to everyone (no choice). The fish was baked stuff shrimp. There was absolutely no problem with not having a choice and the food was delish. So.. I think the mixed dish is your best choice, since you’ve tasted it and like it, and I think it’s totally fine to serve that.
How was the quality and taste of the other entrees? If they were all done well, then I would feel comfortable ordering the duck and the prime rib. Or, how about asking if they can give you the name and contact info of another person that also ordered the duck or prime rib for their event so that you can use them as a reference?
Since I don’t eat red meat, I’d be pretty unhappy with surf and turf as my entree. I had several guests who were vegetarians and a bunch more who were like me and eat seafood and chicken but no red meat. Do you have any guests who have dietary restrictions like that? If you don’t have to worry about veggies, I’d ask if you can make the salmon one entree choice and the filet the other. That way couples can order one of each and share if they want to (a TON of couples at my wedding did that with our two choices) and people who find the flavors together overpowering don’t have to deal w/ that either.
I’d also be pretty upset with the venue….I hate when places try to push you to what they think is best for you rather than listening to your wishes.
@Jay: As with most weddings, there will of course be a vegetarian entree option (also available to anyone who chooses not to eat either meat, not just vegetarians!) Thanks for your concern
Thanks so much for all your helpful advice ladies! I really truly appreciate it. As a bride, I think its easier to go with the surf and turf option, but my gut instinct is that guests would be happier choosing one or the other, rather than being “stuck” with both. And Amanda, I never considered that both those dishes are such strong flavors to cram on one plate! I agree!
Did you actually try the “surf and turf” option?
If not, then you are still going with an unknown dish - I would go for the 2 different options.
If you know the surf and turf is good - I could still go either way. But maybe because I dislike salmon and agree its an unexpected choice for the “surf” part.
[...] than the “stated price,” especially when I felt something was unfair. For instance, my venue catering refused to let us try the Duck a L’orange we so desired to try. Should I have demanded some sort of discount, maybe a small “per head” discount [...]
Mrs. Penguin, Sacramento
Age and Occupation: 26, Video & TV Producer/Director/Editor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 14, 2007
Venue: Winery in the Gold Country
About Me: I'm a silly mess of a girl who, above all else in this world, LOVES the Spice Girls. I eat sushi at least 3 times a week, and feel guilty about how much it costs the other 4 days a week. I love designer jeans and cheap accessories. I don't like sweets, but I love the UCLA Bruins!
So sorry to hear about the tasting– just doesn’t seem right! I would be worried about serving the surf and turf as I have found that surf is one of those foods people either love or hate!
Perhaps your vendor is doing an event soon serving your dishes and you could come back for a take out box to try the duck?