Mrs. Penguin, Sacramento
Age and Occupation: 26, Video & TV Producer/Director/Editor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 14, 2007
Venue: Winery in the Gold Country
About Me: I'm a silly mess of a girl who, above all else in this world, LOVES the Spice Girls. I eat sushi at least 3 times a week, and feel guilty about how much it costs the other 4 days a week. I love designer jeans and cheap accessories. I don't like sweets, but I love the UCLA Bruins!
See You, See Me
March 11th, 2008 @ 12:32 pm by Mrs. Penguin
The schedule for our wedding day is finally falling into place, and of course, it’s jam packed. Since we’re replacing the traditional receiving line with a Thai Water Ceremony (more on that later), Mr. Penguin and I will be busy during the cocktail hour receiving Thai blessings from our guests. Of course, many couples choose to take their formal portraits during the cocktail hour or downtime in between the ceremony and reception. But since we’ve decided to add a fun cultural twist to our cocktail hour, we won’t have time to run off into the vineyards to take pics.
I’m so bummed out because this means that we’ll have to take our posed formals before the ceremony, which in turn means that Mr. Penguin will see me before the ceremony. I know that in this day and age, it’s more common than not for couples to choose to spend the cocktail hour with their guests, but I always had it in the back of my mind that the first time Mr. Penguin would see me on our wedding day would be when I walked down the aisle towards him.
The plus side of us seeing each other beforehand is that there is less of a chance that I will be an emotional wreck during the ceremony. I have a feeling that seeing him beforehand will alleviate the swell of emotions I might experience walking down the aisle, which of course, for pictures’ sake, will be a good thing. But I’m still a bit sad knowing that we won’t participate in the tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the ceremony. All in all, it will give us more time with our guests who have traveled so far to be with us, and I know that’s a good thing!
Will you see your groom before you walk down the aisle on your wedding day or will your eyes first meet when you walk down the aisle? Why did you decide to do it one way or the other?
23 Responses to “See You, See Me”
I’m sure seeing Mr. Penguin before the ceremony will work out fine. Good point about not being as emotional (read: crying mess) when you walk down the aisle.
We won’t see each other before the ceremony. I understand the reason why a lot of people would want to but I look forward to having him see me for the first time walking down the aisle. Someone better make me a plate of food during cocktail hour though!
As a warning so you’ll still be prepared - I saw my husband ahead of time and thought I wouldn’t be too emotional during the walk down the aisle…BUT…when everyone stood up to look at me and I realized all these people were here because they loved us - I totally lost it.
Anyway - just make sure you carry kleenex!
We are seeing each other before the ceremony, mainly due to the timing of the ceremony (7pm) and the lighting that will be available afterwards (none). Our photographer recommends seeing each other before, but he DEMANDS that the meeting is significant and able to be photographed in a desirable setting. I am happy that we are seeing each other before - I am a cryer - and I hear that brides look much more relaxed walking down the aisle when it isn’t the first time they’ve seen their future husband. Grooms, however, look just as nervous 
Regardless of when you see each other for the first time, the walk down the aisle will be very special for the both of you… And his seeing you walk down the aisle towards him will probably make him forget that he ever saw you before. It will certainly be beautiful!
We are seeing each other before the ceremony. This gave us a chance to have that first moment be more intimate, which is how we wanted it. We’re pretty private and aren’t big on PDA’s… For us, it seemed more natural to see each other when it was just the two of us (and our photographer, but we’ll pretend he’s not there.) 
We are not seeing eachother before the ceremony. For us, the day is not about the fancy pictures. We felt seeing eachother beforehand would dilute the meaning. But that’s just us.
We’re Jewish, so of course we’re going to see each other before the ceremony for the Ketubah signing. Personally, I’ve never understood the tradition behind NOT seeing each other beforehand, but that’s probably just because 90% of the weddings I go to are Jewish, so everyone just sees each other first.
It’s our wedding day — I’d want to see as much of my almost husband as possible. I don’t understand why I’d want to wait until the ceremony starts at 7pm and NOT even see him for 12+ hours on our biggest day as a couple. *shrug* I guess mystery and suspense just aren’t my thing.
we aren’t seeing each other but that is because our ceremony is at 1 and we have a break between that and cocktail hour….
For all the brides that have seen their groom before I don’t think anyone regrets it. That first moment will be just as special.
Kinda like find out the sex of your baby it is just as special at your sonogram appt than it is in the delivery room…
Two sides of this: I saw my husband before the ceremony and it was really nice. We hadn’t seen each other since the rehearsal dinner, so it was still fun to marvel at how great we each looked, but then we got the formal pictures finished before everything got started AND go straight to the (air conditioned - it was a very hot day) the reception. It was nice and low-key and I think it helped us relax and get collected before the ceremony.
BUT, if you really don’t want to see Mr. Penguin until you walk down the aisle, what about day after portraits?
My FI and I are not going to see each other before the ceremony. I want to see him for the first time when I walk down the aisle (I have to prepare myself for the water works!). I think it will be something that we will both remember.
I do understand the reason why some couples decide to see one another before the ceremony. It makes a lot of sense to get the pictures out of the way. Besides, you can enjoy yourselves during the cocktail hour. Since there will be a 3 hour gap between the ceremony and reception, we decided to take our couple pics after the ceremony and our bridal party pics before the ceremny.
I too will be seeing my Groom before the ceremony, but I think in the long run, it’ll be for the better! Especially since, men tend not to listen very well, I can tell him one thing and he’ll never remember, but by seeing me earlier in the day, I can nag him to death! =) But it also gives you a chance to calm your nerves so you don’t embarrass yourself in a pool of tears in front of the whole crowd! But to each their own, I see it as a blessing!
It’s completely unheard of in Britain for the bride and groom to see each other or to have pictures taken together before the ceremony but I think it’s a fantastic idea. I think on the day you’ll be glad that you’re not missing time with your guests and the aisle walk will definitely still be emotional!
Me and my fella will be spending the night before the wedding together and getting ready together, we’re not traditional at all!
We are having this issue as well. Neither Mr. Cream Puff nor I wants to see one another before the ceremony, but I don’t know when else we could have pictures taken…
I totally understand! I don’t want to see my fiance before the wedding but our ceremony will be at night so we’ll have to see each other before. I think for me I just really wanted him to be surprised when he saw me walking down the aisle. For me though the pictures are incredibly important so I think it’ll be worth it. Plus you can stage a nice “first look” shoot and it’ll be just as special. Good luck!
We saw each other before, but had the photographer capture the moment. My mom took pictures, too, and some of those are actually really cute.
We’re not seeing each other before the ceremony. I want the first time he sees me in my dress to be when I’m walking down the aisle. I don’t even know if we’ll see each other at all that day… until the ceremony.
Here in UK it is very rare to see each other before the wedding, so we’re not planning to. It would be a cool time to get some photos though.
Originally, I wanted to do the first look pictures so that we could get pictures elsewhere besides our wedding site but my fiance insisted on not seeing me before I walked down the aisle. Now as we’ve attended more weddings together and he realizes how fast they fly by, he’s open to the idea about seeing me before the ceremony.
Funny thing is that now I don’t want to see him before because I thought it was so romantic that the one thing he was so insistent about in regards to the wedding was not seeing me before the ceremony.
Either way, I think you’ll be excited seeing each other both times and having the photographer and/or videographer there if you do the first look pictures will capture that expression on each others faces.
I am VERY torn on this. I really would like to see each other for the first time when I walk down the aisle, but it just seems more practical to do photos before the ceremony. Even my mom, who I thought would be super traditional, thinks we should do pics before hand…I’m still mulling it over. Good think I have until NEXT summer!
We did group formals before, then ran off with the photographer during cocktail hour. Even with the photographer in the back seat, it was nice to get half an hour or so to ourselves, to let it kind of sink in.
I’m totally with you Dimples. The only thing my Fiance has been adamant about was not seeing me before the ceremony…now that he has heard more about it, he says that he doesn’t care. I thought that his thoughts were so romantic! Now, regardless of schedule, I don’t us to see one another!
We’re doing “first look” pictures and will be seeing each other before the ceremony. Our 5:30pm start time won’t allow us enough time to take pictures after the ceremony (early March). I just don’t want to be a blubbering fool in front of all of our guests, so I’m happy to see him (and bawl my eyes out) beforehand.
I was torn on this, but for us it really made more sense to do the pictures before the ceremony. Because the ceremony and reception are at the same location, our guests will go straight from the ceremony to the cocktail hour, and we want to make the most of the limited time we have to spend with our friends and family. It might not be traditional, but you can always work out a way with the photographer to capture that first look moment.
I am SO excited to do “First Look” pictures! We are a very lovey-dovey type couple, and to think of not being able to say something as soon as we see eachother, or touch or hug or caress… AAAAHHH, there’s no way I’d want to stand up there for 20 minutes and try to remember the things I first thought when looking at him for the first time. And his memory is not the greatest, so I know if I asked him later what he thought when he first saw me coming down the aisle, it won’t be the exact special thoughts he was feeling. And to have our photographers there to capture every second of those first few moments in eachother’s faces is going to be so special! I KNOW I will cry when I see the proofs of that moment. But how many photos do you get of the reactions of the couple when you do it the traditional way… two, maybe? This way will be so much more special to us Oh, and that tradition was only started because they didn’t want the groom to see the bride until they were married (since the couple did not meet in most cases), because they didn’t want the groom to run away if he didn’t approve of her. I’m sorry, but I want to think that I don’t have to “hide” from my groom to trick him into marrying me
