Delegate Away

March 13th, 2008 @ 4:27 pm by Mrs. Jasmine

“Do you need help with wedding stuff?”, asks a well-meaning, generous friend over the phone.”Oh no, that’s okay. I have it all under control!”, I reply chirpily, secretly sobbing amid an overwhelming pile of Paper Source bits and glitter. I reach for some gold vellum scraps to dry my tears.

Sound familiar? One of the most difficult parts of the wedding planning process has been learning to delegate. I’m a little bit of a control freak, “if I don’t do it, it won’t be right” kind of girl, so it’s been difficult to let go and let others help me. Add to it the guilt of asking friends to devote their precious free time and energy to my wedding tasks and I’d become anti-delegating altogether.

But I’ve realized that juggling a demanding full-time job with wedding planning is no easy feat and there’s no shame in letting friends, family, and wedding professionals help me out. I’m also learning not to micromanage and to trust those helping me. And if the projects don’t turn out the way I want, oh well. No lives lost!

So I’ve delegated our vellum votives, guestbook, and cardbox to my mom, who is the craftiest person I know. Soon I will devote an entire post to the amazing things she’s created thus far. I also delegated the programs, menus, and table numbers to my lovely coordinator, Angel Swanson. Even though I had high hopes for creating them myself, I realized I don’t have the time and energy. She will do a great job and I’ll keep my sanity. Everyone wins! And I’m still keeping a couple fun, baby projects for myself.

How have you let others help you in the wedding planning process? Were you initially resistant to delegate?

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13 Responses to “Delegate Away”

Bee

Mrs. Bee (message) 3,261 posts, Sugar bee

i totally feel you - i’m a a horrible, horrible delegator and didn’t delegate a single wedding task! i’m a control freak and know i need to get much better at letting go.

3/13/08 @ 4:40 pm (reply)

Member

stargazerlily (message) 946 posts, Busy bee

Class 1 control psycho right here I try to do a little bit every night, but as the months near, I know there are last minute projects I’ll have to let go/delegate. 1,000 paper tissue flowers arent going to make themselves (and I’m so bored to tears making them!) Big props to you for being able to let go a little…I know its super hard!

3/13/08 @ 4:46 pm (reply)

Guest

jen

One thing that I did was have people help me WHILE I was doing certain projects. (that way there was still a level of control) Like stuffing invites, or trimming 200+ candle wicks… the kind of assembly line stuff that’s always better in groups.

3/13/08 @ 4:53 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Toucan (message) 984 posts, Busy bee

I’m terrible at delegating too… I like to be in full control. I’ve finally started letting people help me, but only because I think I’d lose my mind if I didn’t

3/13/08 @ 4:55 pm (reply)

Member

julieulie (message) 266 posts, Helper bee

I wish I had people offering to help, but I don’t live anywhere near my family or any of my bridesmaids, so it’s not like they can drop over to give me a hand, and I can’t afford to fly them out for a couple of days to help. Oh well, more for me to do…

3/13/08 @ 4:57 pm (reply)

Member

Buckeye (message) 61 posts, Worker bee

I was initially the same way, but its soooo much nicer with the extra help! I’ve had my girls over for “Wine & Wed Nights”, and we’ve gotten lots done and had so much fun. Although we limit ourselves to one (fine two!) bottle(s) of wine and none near the Wedding projects!

3/13/08 @ 4:59 pm (reply)

Member

sarahblueeyes23 (message) 47 posts, Newbee

When i read the title to your post - my immediate thought was…. but they won’t do it right! So, as you can see - I totally have issues with this.

I’m trying to delegate - but i keep getting frustrated when the results come back and are less than stellar. Sigh. I need to let go.

3/13/08 @ 5:24 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Emerald (message) 901 posts, Busy bee

Way to delegate! Ahhh… I didn’t delegate anything… hahaha.

3/13/08 @ 5:32 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Tulip (message) 615 posts, Busy bee

I am sooooo with you — terrible at letting other people help. Mostly, I know their lives are busy and don’t want to burden them. (Yes, I’m from the Midwest, ha ha.) And it doesn’t help when no one lives in the same area….

But I gave in on a few things. My parents are creating ceremony decor, my mom addressed the invites, and friends are taking control of decorating the reception site. And I’ve discovered that all the help means SO much. The wedding now feels like a truly community event, that everyone has had a share in building together.

3/13/08 @ 5:55 pm (reply)

10.

Member

tea (message) 2,616 posts, Sugar bee

i’m terrible at delegating too and then obsess over it if i do. its so bad but when i do delegate, i either have to be totally over the project [as in, no longer emotionally attached to it] or something simple that can’t possibly be messed up. thankfully my friends and family all know just how crazy perfectionistic i can get so they always offer to help with the little things first. lol.

3/13/08 @ 6:49 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

rzblna

You’re so funny. I find that cotton paper is more absorbent than vellum. =)

3/13/08 @ 7:33 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

LSB

It totally did not occur to me to delegate anything until after the fact… Wish I’d thought of it before.

3/14/08 @ 10:56 am (reply)

13.

Guest

*Bonnie*

I definitely have already delegated plenty of projects to my sister (who is actually much for crafty that I am; and is an amazing artist(in her spare time); save the dates; invites etc.) and mom (favors), and anyone else who offers to help! And will probably delegate a lot more projects in the coming months. My sister lives in Florida and my mom lives in Pennsylvania, so thank goodness for the computers, the internet and cell phones!

I am pretty particular about things though and have pretty high standards. So I try to tell them exactly what I want and give my feedback until everything is just right (always in a non bridezilla way).

3/15/08 @ 11:30 am (reply)