I happily lived with my parents until I got married this past August. We totally got along - they loved having me there and I loved being there.
I didn’t have many rules most of my teen years, so that carried on when I was an adult. I could come and go as I pleased, and best of all I could have people over whenever I wanted. But I did have one rule - no boys allowed in my bedroom. It wasn’t because my parents didnt trust me. They always told me they trusted me to make good choices. But they had some very strong ideas of what was and was not appropiate for a young lady to do. I guess in a way I agreed with them since I never asked if a guy could come into my room to hang out.
When it snowed here back in January, Mr Butterscotch and I spent the night at my parents’ house (it’s closer to both of our jobs). We didn’t sleep in my old bedroom since there’s no bed, but we were camped out in the living room. I had many a slumber party in that living room growing up. As I fell asleep, I had a funny thought about how he was the first guy to officially have the ok to sleep over. I only had to wait 29 years for that to happen!
Do any of you have a no boys allowed rule until you get married? How do you or your fiance feel about it?
we still go with that rule! Only twice has he slept over and it’s been in the bedroom next door to mine.
yup, until we get married. we both live at home as well so when we go to visit with each other, we end up getting a hotel to stay at [at least when i go to see him...i still need to sleep at home when he comes to see me]. but when we do stay at his mom’s house, i get his sister’s room while i’m there. its a bit torturous for the both of us since we dont get to see each other very often but we suck it up and deal. we actually tell each other that once we’re married we’ll actually be able to share a room when we go to visit the parents. lol. it’s nice to look forward to that.
yeah, my guy and I have been together 7yrs and my parents still will not allow us to sleep in the same bed under their roof. We live together, (which has been like a big ‘pink elephant’ in the room at times) but we just know that when we go to see the folks, those are the rules and it’s cool. Inconvenient at times, but cool.
We both live at home with our respective parents. We only see each other on weekends and I stay at his house. At first, I slept in the basement, then I slept in his sister’s room when she was at college, then his dad said he didn’t mind me staying in his room (just don’t let grandma know 
)
However, I feel totally awkward doing this. His parents love me, but still, it just isn’t right for me. I can’t wait until we buy a house in a year or so. I basically just try not to think about it.
I wonder what all of the brides who live together before marriage will end up doing when their OWN kids come home with their boyfriends? Do you think you will be as strict with your kids as your parents are with you?
That’s a really cute story.
After dating 5 years and being engaged 3/4 of a year, we moved in together. Because of our education, we’re going to be living apart our first 3 years of marriage while he does his residency and I finish my Ph.D., and so, with the approval of our parents, we moved in together so we would at least be able to know what it was like to live together prior to our 4 year anniversary! After that point, we were allowed to stay together in my parents house, but never before that point. The very first time I stayed over at my fiance’s house, I was shocked when his mother just presumed we would share a room, no questions asked. But then again, she has always tried harder to be his friend than his mother…
husband never slept over before marriage. traditional parents.
My mom had no problem with my fiancee and I sharing a room at her place over X mas, but we were engaged and I’m 28.
My parents are fine with us sleeping in the same room, but my fiance’s parents are very traditional (it’s a cultural thing too), so we’re still sleeping in separate rooms when we visit them. It’s actually fine with me, because I get to act like a starfish and stake my claim on each corner of the queen-sized bed I sleep in when I’m there!
BUTTAHHHH!!! Okay I got that out of the way
Its funny, we sleep together at my parents house and mr peng’s dads house, but seperately still at his mom’s house Of course we already live together. So the rules are kind of all over the place. I honestly think it will be weird to sleep together after we get married at his mom’s place. I kind of prefer it this way, because I get to snuggle with his puppy, Kirby There isnt enough room in that bed for the 3 of us!
buttahhh!!!!!!!! i’ve missed seeing you! your story was so cute!
I was with an ex for 4 years and my parents were NEVER ok with us staying in the same room. Fast forward a bit and I bring my new boyfriend home for the first time (they had met him previously) and my mom says she had made up the room for us! I just about fell down the stairs! Guess they like this one better, which is helpful because I plan on keeping him.
Up until November, I lived at home with my parents and he still lives at home with his. In November, I moved out into a new home with my brother and my S.O. has slept over twice because on both occasions the weather was really bad. The first time he slept over I made him sleep on the couch (it’s comfy!) in the living room. The second time, my brother looked at me funny and said, “You better not make him sleep on the couch, what kind of girlfriend are you!?” Heh heh. So what did I do? I let him sleep in my room ON THE FLOOR while I slept not-so-soundly in my bed. It was awkward to have him in my room! I have always wanted to live (and sleep!) seperately until our first night as a married couple.
ha. my “rules” are all over the place. we both still live at home. my mom is one hundred percent fine with him in my room (sleeping or not). my dad, that i live with, is not okay with him in the hallway that connects to my room! as for his parents, if i so much look in the direction of his bedroom it freaks them out.
his mom goes so far as to make his bed if we’re at the house without her… that way she can ensure no one’s been in it!
Once I went away to college, the rules regarding boys seemed to disappear. When I came home for the first time with my serious then-boyfriend, my parents just assumed we would sleep in my room. I kind of wonder why it happened that way, but I think it had something to do with my younger brother’s reckless behavior.
My parents had the same rule. In fact, this last Christmas, was the first time my boyfriend and I got to sleep in the living room together, but on seperate couches. LOL.
the boy and i have been together for about 6.5 years (starting at age 19). while we were still in school, we were never allowed to sleep in the same room when we went to visit either family’s house. but, after we graduated, we started living together and then both sets of parents changed the rules. even though both are pretty traditional, i guess they just figured that by that point we were adults and sleeping in the same bed the rest of the time, so why pretend for a few nights? i have to admit, that they were much cooler about it than i would have predicted. yay family (and i don’t get to say that very often).
FI and I have been living together almost two years (since we got engaged), and his parents still have us sleeping in separate bedrooms. AND I LOVE IT! Is that terrible? I agree with the starfish sentiment above. I’ve told my FILs that I will continue to sleep in a separate room at their house once we’re married.
Mrs. Butterscotch, that is my signature move. Unfortunately, the fiance’s legs get in the way of my stealthy attempts when we DO sleep together. Harumph.
jnicholea- I dont know how I will be once we have our own kids. My bedroom was upstairs so I kinda understood that. But if my daughter/son room was in a central location in the house I dont see the problem. But the door would need to be open and I doubt I would let their girlfriends or boyfriends spend the night.
I LMAO at this! I am still living w/ my parents until my fiancee and I get married and move in together! lol But yes, there was a NO BOYS ALLOWED rule in our house too! Once we get married and I leave my room will be converted into a suite for my mom who has long wanted a place to call her own, so we won’t have anywhere to crash but the living room floor should we have to spend the night. BTW - this NO BOYS rule extends to my brother’s house because when we stayed there over Christmas (after announcing our engagement) my brother “prepared” two separate bedrooms, lol! Ahhh
@Cara:
I’m 28 and engaged, and my parents (well, actually my mom) makes my fiance and I sleep in different rooms.
I’ve been with my fiance for almost 5 years now and we’ve been living together for over a year but when we are at my parents house… no boys allowed in my room, no matter what boy it is. lol. So he sleeps on the couch.
Mrs. Butterscotch, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 29, Advertising Sales Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, City Worker
Engagement Date: September 24, 2006
Wedding Date: August 11, 2007
Blogging Since: June 19, 2007
Venue: church ceremony and private club reception
About Me: I am marrying my high school sweetheart 11 years after high school ended! I am a self professed shoe fanatic with a closet full of shoes and only two feet. Planning a wedding has been my fun project since he surprised me with a proposal in Paris. We are spending our last few months preparing for our big day by wrapping up all the small things, buying a house and best of all preparing to live together for the first time.
When FI and I first started dating, we both lived with our parents. My mom also had a no boys allowed in the bedroom rule, but turned the spare room into a hang out room for us. I didn’t understand why that would be ok and the bedroom wasn’t…maybe because the lack of bed. She told me that when she would go out of town on vacation or for work, that she wouldn’t care if he slept over since I didn’t like being in the house alone. My mom didn’t need to know that he was already spending the night before she told me he could. But he would never spend the night if we were just hanging out there. His parents lived 1.2 mile away so driving home was never an issue.
He insisted that I could stay the night at his house, but honestly, I wouldn’t. I didn’t feel that it was appropriate. Even now, if we go to our hometown, I stay with my mom and he stays with his. Not sure how things will change when we get married!