Wedding Blog
This weekend I was working on the final details of our invites before I send them out to print. Then it dawned on me. What time do I put on the invitation?
The oh-so late white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland
Image courtesy of Allposters.com
I mean you think it’s a simple question but honestly - do you put the time the ceremony is scheduled to start or do you give a 15 minute time difference to ensure everyone will arrive on time?
I don’t want people to arrive after the ceremony has started (though I know some of our guests will be late no matter the time we put on the invitation.)
What time did you put? The right one or a time slightly earlier?
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I put the right time, figuring that everyone knows to arrive a bit early. That being said, we actually started about 10 minutes after the time on the invitation, to let the stragglers get in their seats (though I still saw at least two couples arriving late on the wedding video!)
We put the “right” time, but under the assumption that we’ll start five minutes late. 
We put the right time–I have a well-known history of never being on time, and I figured this would give any other stragglers a couple extra minutes. But sure enough, everything went like clockwork (thanks to my DOC!) and I was ready to go at the “right” time. We started on time and the latecomers came in after me. No big deal.
I think people know to arrive early for weddings b/c the time printed is the “start” time. The older members of my family are very adamant about this, and I know they would be really annoyed if they showed up “on time” (i.e., early) and had to wait for 15 minutes after the time on the invite.
I put half hour before. I think a lot of people we knew expect that the invite will state half an hour before.
I think 15 minutes before can look funny on an invite it’s like 2:45 or 1:15. Can you have the invite say 7 and know that you’re starting at 7:15. Good luck.
I put the right time as well. I hate when people ask us to arrive at a certain time and then dont start the ceremony until 1/2 hour past scheduled time. Its annoying to arrive 20 minutes before the “stated” time only to wait an additional 30 minutes PAST the scheduled time. People should have the sense to be on time, and if they dont, who cares? Its their problem.
Dont “trick” your guests by saying the start time is one time, then start at another. I understand that things honestly usually run late anyway, but if I knew people were putting “fake” start times on their invites, I’d be peeved as a guest.
We put on the invite that the wedding was at half past three (true!) but on the maps/info sheets we gave guests when they arrived for the weekend, it said “please get to ~~ by 3:00 on Saturday for the wedding!” We had lemonade, water, fresh fruit, etc sitting out for people before the wedding so they weren’t too antsy and everyone was there by the actual 3:30 start time.
I too think that people often assume that the wedding is starting later than the start time listed, so having it start exactly then would make me nervous. My friend put a full 45 minutes before the ceremony time on her invites!
We out the right time. For the most part everyone was there on time. We did have one late arrival that had to run in right before the bridesmaids went in. But if you do have a lot of people that normally run late you may want to put the start time 15 minutes before your really start!
I put the exact time. I am one of those people who is always prepared and always arrives a few minutes early like you are supposed to, and I hate when people put a half hour early on the invitation and then I sit there twiddling my thumbs for 45 minutes in total boredom. The kicker was a wedding we were at, outside in the sun, 90 degrees, and we sat for 55 minutes. Sorry, but if you can’t follow the time, then you miss the ceremony. It’s that simple. We put 7:00 start time, and our rabbi is a HUGE stickler for time, so our ceremony will start at 7pm. If you can’t have your ass in your seat by 6:59, then the ushers have been instructed to not let latecomers in until everyone is down the aisle and the ceremony has started. Tough luck, but I have no pity for people who can’t follow simple directions for what time something is starting.
Our original plan was to have a 5pm ceremony followed by a 6pm reception. Since I didn’t want to have the reception start late I decided to put 4:30pm on the invitation and told my vendors the same. I felt relieved knowing that we would probably start late and that it wouldn’t mess with the timing of the rest of the evening. I think we ended up starting around 4:50pm or so. Perfect!
We put half an hour before! That is pretty standard in NY I think…So our invite says 6:30, but the ceremony won’t start until 7. That give people enough time to chit chat before, listen to some pretty classical, and give a little leway if stuck in traffic (so not predictable in NYC!).
30mins ahead…some of our friends have chronic lateness problems. i felt bad for the on time guests…but they can always get their pick of seats and read the programs and catch up with other guests…
Seriously - the actual start time! When you get tickets for a Broadway show starting at 7:00, you know that the house lights go down a few minutes before. When your church says the service starts at 10:00, they don’t mean 10:30. Some events have a built-in buffer zone (movie trailers, the national anthem at hockey games) but weddings normally do not. I have always assumed that the time on the invitation is the actual start time. If I showed up 10 minutes early and ended up having to wait 40 minutes for the event to start, I would be seriously annoyed. And I’m not a habitually early person - but just know that for some events either you get there early or you will stand in the back.
I already mentioned how I am putting the proper time, but just an idea for anyone else who is concerned…
My fiance’s family runs late. Seriously late. So, since 90+% of our guests are staying over in the hotel (even the local ones, so they can drink all they want), we’re going to put a little timeline in the welcome bag, and mention that the ceremony will start at 7pm promptly. While I would never use “promptly” on the invitation, the welcome letter will be much less formal, and that way everyone knows that we actually mean 7pm, and none of this please mosey out the door by 7pm so we can actually start at 7:30pm crap!
The actual start time, no question. Yes, we have guests that are perpetually late. However, I refuse to placate to their rudeness at the expense of our guests who arrive on time. Arriving on time (if not before) was something instilled in me at an early age. Tardiness is disrespectful and sends the message that your time is more important than the host’s.
we put 30 minutes ahead on the invitation, but noted on the welcome letter “arrive at 5:30, ceremony at 6PM”. If we were getting married at a church, I might have taken a different approach. Our venue had a bar set up as well as lemonade and iced tea, and we (gasp!) let people pop champagne if they wanted. Nobody complained. They were too busy having fun and visiting. It was a nice way to start the night off on the right foot. It isn’t, after all, a broadway show. Weddings are also a chance for people who don’t normally get to see each other to spend some time together.
i’m tempted to put a half hour before because i have folks on both sides that are perpetually late…so much so that all of our invites in our group are always before they need to be. but i’m also one that’s usually there on time if not a little bit early so i do get annoyed when i’m where i’m supposed to be and things haven’t started yet. so i have no idea what we’ll end up doing. i’ll probably be adamant about an on time start though. as long as the groom is there [who is one of the perpetually late!] i’m good. so maybe i’ll just pad his timeline and not tell him.
I’d be LIVID if the invitation said 5 p.m., I showed up at 4:45, and the ceremony didn’t begin until 5:30. All of the people who are early or on time will be so upset and those who are late are probably perpetually late and will be shocked that they are “on time.” This is their individual, chronic problem and should not hinder other guests. I suppose if you are getting married at a venue where you are supplying drinks before hand and have a gathering space, you could do this, but if you are getting married in a church and people are sitting in a cramped pew for up to 45 min, you are going to have some mad guests at the reception. And trust me, they will talk about this to all the other guests!! I’ve honestly never heard of putting the start time earlier than the actual time and pretty much everyone I know would be appalled.
I was tempted to put an “earlier” time on the invite (actual ceremony starting at 5:30, but putting 5:15 on the invite) because my family seriously runs on “Vietnamese time.” We’re always late! But FI’s family is German and is always early or punctual… so I didn’t want to make them arrive at 5:00 (to be early) and not have the ceremony start until half an hour later. After reading all these replies, I’m going to write the actual start time on the invites– if people are late, it’s not my problem!
i put a time 1/2 earlier than we plan to start for the following reasons:
a) our venue is in a semi-remote location and is a little hard to find
b) we’re having a polaroid guestbook and taking pictures of guests as they arrive (i imagine this will take some time and i don’t want it to be rushed)
c) there will be lemonade and cookies for the early birds to munch on so they shouldn’t be too cranky for having to wait a little
d) i don’t really think it is that rude
I actually put 30 minutes early knowing that my family will be late especially the place is out of their way and most ppl are not familar to with the venue. plus we asians are always late! my invites says 4:30 but it will more than likely start 20 to 30 minutes after that soo closer to 5pm.
I can’t imagine ever being livid or appalled for having to wait for a ceremony. I think that is a bit harsh and it really does depend on the circumstances.
My ceremony is also in a remote, hard to find locale and almost all of the guests will be in this area for the first time. We have called the ceremony for 5:30 but plan to start at 6 or a few minutes before. We are providing lemonade, iced tea, etc and the guests will be able to mingle in an out door - but covered - location with beautiful scenery.
Given how venues charge so much for every 15 minutes your run over, I want to be sure we can start on time. I have been to weddings where people showed up late - not all are just rude people, I imagine some were lost - and it seemed a shame that they had travelled so far and then missed the ceremony. I want to make sure this doesn’t happen to any of our guests!!
I put a full half hour before we plan on starting. We are also having an outdoor wedding in the same place as our reception so there will be refreshments out before the ceremony starts as well as after.
My fiance is Vietnamese. His family always jokes that Vietnamese people are always late and may not even show up for the ceremony! We do not want the church doors opening throughout our ceremony so…we have decided to put the proper time, but….the wording will be something like this
“Cermony begins at 4PM-Church doors close at 3:50PM.” Not in that particular way, but you get the idea! Our wedding coordinator suggested it so that people do not feel “tricked” by a false time, but they know we are serious about starting at 4PM. We actually are requesting the doors to be closed and are having a person of the church standing outside once the ceremony begins. =) If you can’t arrange to be on time on one of the most important days of our life-then so be it!
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Mrs. Flamingo, Montreal, Canada
Age and Occupation: 25, Graphic Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Nursing Student
Engagement Date: December 2004
Wedding Date: June 21, 2008
Venue: Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)
About Me: I am a passionate designer who loves anything pretty. I heart all paper products (eco-friendly of course). My passion revolves around anything considered glamour; vintage and modern. In my free time, I love reading Martha mags, designing jewelry and making a pit-stop at Starbucks for a chai latte. I'm also a chocoholic at heart and my family drools over my homemade truffles.
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