Wedding Blog
Mr. Flamingo has always been honest. When I ask him a question, he doesn’t sugarcoat it. He’s usually very respectful and I love him for that, though sometimes he says things that need to be filtered (but no one is perfect - right?).
Before we started “changing our eating habits” Mr. Flamingo said something to me. Something that made me sad. To put it in the context of the story… here’s the background on the whole situtation.
I purchased my wedding dress early - exactly 1 year and 3 months before our wedding. I fell in love with it and needed to buy it. Of course when I purchased it I was around 175 lbs, and I unfortunately gained some weight afterwards. Nothing alarming and I knew I would still fit in my dress… so the first thing I did when I received my dress (in July 2007), I went to try it on just to confirm. (And it fit - hurray!)
Months passed and a week before it was time to go pick up my dress Mr. F said “Are you sure you still fit in your dress???” I mean, I know his intentions weren’t to hurt my feelings but still, this comment made me sad. I told him how I felt and he was extremely sorry. I forgive you… just don’t do it again 
Me in my dress with my sash — Don’t I look so happy - it fits!
Have you ever gotten a comment during the wedding planning process that hurt your feelings?
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Share this post: It Fits… Really!
GORGEOUS!!! It is so lovely/elegant/stunning on you! I’m jealous b/c I’m in the process of trying to find a dress right now.
My fiance is also very honest and I love him for that…but sometimes the truth hurts. So when he tells me that a certain outfit isn’t’ flattering (not often at all, but has occurred once or twice, especially when he goes shopping with me), it makes me a little sad, but he makes up for it by helping me pick outfits that are super cute (and I get the most compliments on the outfits he helps me pick out!)
You look gorgeous!
Yeah. I know he never meant it that way, but SOME days, I’m just a little more emotional and therefore more susceptable to being hurt unintentionally.
I mostly lurk, but I just wanted to say that it’s brave of you post about your weight and what-not online. I gained weight since I bought my dress (I ONLY bought it 11 months before the wedding). I’m REALLY scared it’s not going to fit - too scared to even try it on right now. I’ll give it a few more weeks with the elliptical and give it a shot. But I’m really glad yours still fit!
You look fantastic!
Even though your fiance may think he is being “honest”, his comment was hurtful. And possibly a little passive-agressive. It is essential that he knows that he should NOT say things that hurt you. He is marrying you because he loves YOU, not your perfect body or your fabulous family, etc. He was likely just being inconsiderate, but I think it is important to have a serious covo. about those things before marriage. You deserve someone who does nothing but build you up. Trust me, I have been on both sides of that fence.
i love your dress!!!! sooooo beautiful!!!!
i am just abotu to post this question on the boards, but how are you planning to have your pickup skirt bustled?
i’ve got one, and i’m not sure what to do with it……..
Thanks for the comments everyone.
Mary - I did have this convo with Mr. F and he felt really bad and didnt even realized that he hurt my feelings like that. We have a very open relationship - in the sense that we communicate a whole lot. At times too I say things to Mr. F that are hurtful… but we both respect eachother and trust me… he loves me and says it all the time. Even if I were 500 lbs he said he wouldnt care. Its not about my body - in the end Cuz Mr.F isnt skinny skinny either 
Getmarried4less - I have a built in crinoline in my dress. So I wont need to get a bustle. Im sure you can rent some.
I had some moles removed from my back two weeks before dress shopping. Very early - on purpose - so any scars would fade in plenty of time for the wedding. But my mom takes one look at me in the dress and says “Oh dear. That’s awful. Maybe something with a higher back?” Okay - they didn’t really look AWFUL. And now (two months later) you can hardly see them. But really - what a confidence builder. Thanks, mom.
that dress looks beautiful on you!! wow!
my fiance doesnt make comments about my weight to me… but i make little comments to him just as a joke (hes gained a little weight since college). i m going to stop doing that now.
You look fantastic…pretty dress, love the sash!
My fiance is incredibly complimentary regarding my physical attributes. No hurt feelings during wedding planning in that area. Where I’ve been a little hurt is when he becomes a know-it-all regarding wedding planning itself…since he has been engaged before to someone else. But we are very honest and can talk openly about it….I can understand that he has baggage because he’s “been there, done that” (and sometimes, he does know better than me!), and he now understands that this is new for me and I want to enjoy it as a first timer in all its glory, so he has toned down the “been there, done that” stuff.
your dress is so pretty on you!
my fiance said to me, “maybe you should work out everyday this week, so the zipper will zip up” the week before i was expecting my dress. ~_~” BUT i win. the dress is actually huge on me.
WOW!!! You look AMAZING in that dress!!!! Just utterly beautiful!!! Your arms are toned (I’m jealous - I’m a little weak in the toned arm department)…
I’m sure that Mr. Flamingo was just being a man, they aren’t the most sensitive creatures, but they keep us safe and warm and laughing.
I love your dress..it looks great on you!
The manager at my last job heard I was engaged and said:
“are you going to lose weight before the wedding so you can fit into your wedding dress?”
I was totally caught off guard (especially since I hadn’t even considered buying a dress yet). I told her that no, I was going to find a dress to fit ME, not the other way around, and that since my fiance loves me the way I am…that would be good enough for me! I wouldn’t mind losing some weight before the wedding, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it if it doesn’t happen.
Wow you look so beautiful, I love your dress!!
AND thanks for posting about your weight b/c since I weight about the same as you I feel a whole lot better now about going dress shopping….something that I’ve been absolutly dreading. Brings back bad memories of prom dress shopping and all my mom’s comments. It’s nice to know that wedding dresses can look just as beautiful, if not more, on real life people.
I think you look gorgeous!
I love that you and Mr. Flamingo have an honest relationship with each other, where instead of getting all hurt and sulking you can tell him what is really bothering you. If you are both happy with how you look then your weight shouldn’t matter. I think it’s sweet that he was concerned about fitting into your dress, it shows that he wants you to be really happy on your wedding day.
Sooo pretty!
And honesty is key, but sometimes it hurts our feelings.
My FMIL made a tiny comment about my little “pouch” when I was trying my dress on for her, and it hurt my feelings. Partly because I only weigh 105 pounds and I have also had a child, so a tiny “pouch” (and a black hole belly button) is just something that we have. I am sure that she wasn’t trying to be mean, but now I am really self conscious when I wasn’t at all before.
It’s a beautiful dress and you look fab!
I went dress shopping with my mom, brought 2 friends to pick the final one and my sister when I went to buy it. My decision was made, I loved my dress and was just trying to involve my sister. When I came out of the dressing room she said it looked ‘nice’ and then gushed over another bride’s dress. Kinda brought home the type of relationship we have. Didn’t make me question my choice or think I looked bad, but I stopped trying to be nice after that. She works in retail, she could have ‘fake gushed’ over me, but just didn’t care to be nice.
[...] mentioned before that Mr. Flamingo and I have a very honest relationship and I love that. Before we started officially going out (Mr. F had been asking me out [...]
OK… First off all… you look skinny. SKINNY! I actually looked at the picture before I read the blog and was shocked. You must have a ton of muscle to weigh what you do.
I bought my dress in January. The whole experience was ruined because earlier that morning I had a biopsy of what turned out to be skin cancer on my back. There is nothing more to pop a balloon.
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Mrs. Flamingo, Montreal, Canada
Age and Occupation: 25, Graphic Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Nursing Student
Engagement Date: December 2004
Wedding Date: June 21, 2008
Venue: Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)
About Me: I am a passionate designer who loves anything pretty. I heart all paper products (eco-friendly of course). My passion revolves around anything considered glamour; vintage and modern. In my free time, I love reading Martha mags, designing jewelry and making a pit-stop at Starbucks for a chai latte. I'm also a chocoholic at heart and my family drools over my homemade truffles.
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