Mrs. Jasmine, Chicago/LA
Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Attorney
Engagement Date: March 24, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 20, 2007
Venue: Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles
About Me: I'm a happy-go-lucky, imaginative spirit trapped in the body of a lawyer. I love reading, shopping, dining out, and exploring my beloved adopted city of Chicago with my fiance. We're planning the wedding of our dreams in my hometown of Los Angeles and we're excited to incorporate our cherished Indian/Pakistani customs and traditions.
Tears On Toast
March 20th, 2008 @ 11:45 am by Mrs. Jasmine
I love a good wedding toast. I’m sensitive, super sentimental and schmaltzy, so wedding toasts always manage to plug my weak little heartstrings. So, as you can imagine, I’ve been anticipating the tears and laughter that might accompany our own wedding toasts for some time.
Unfortunately for us, the role and number of “toast-ers” is still up in the air. We don’t have an MOH and Best Man to automatically fill those positions. I know my dad will says a few words to welcome everyone to the reception and Mr. Jasmine’s dad will follow with his own short speech (fun fact: my dad and Mr. Jasmine’s day share the same birthday, down to the year). Mr. Jasmine and I also plan to say a few words of thanks to our family and friends at the end of the night.
But we would also like to each ask a family member or friend to say a few words. But is that too many speeches? Do too many toasters ruin the reception? 
How many people are speaking at your wedding?
15 Responses to “Tears On Toast”
I tried to think ahead of time of some things to say when we returned the toasts, but nobody made a single one at our (very small) wedding. (To be fair, we were all together for a week and there were a number of very sweet, informal toasts made to us and to the group throughout the week.) It was both a relief and a small disapppointment.
I’m hoping this excuses me from toasting at my sister’s upcoming wedding, but I’m guessing I should be prepared anyway. Oh well!
That’s a great question. We are having a small wedding (50ish guests) and are not having a bridal party. I’d love to hear what others are planning to do in such a case.
we’re inviting 300 people.
fi and i will do a little welcome to everyone.
our other speakers include:
best man, matron of honor, and bridesman
yes, you can have too many toasts/speeches at a wedding. i went to a wedding with 5 gm and 5 bm, and they wanted each one to do a speech, thinking they’d be about 3 minutes each. well, they weren’t - the longest one was maybe 20 mins. the speeches took so long that even though the reception started at 5 pm, we didn’t finish dinner until 11 pm!!! the groom told me a couple weeks later even HE was bored and apologized for having such a boring reception!
I would suggest that after the “official” toasters are done, dinner starts and you ask that others come up to the mic throughout dinner to say a few words… suggset that instead of clinking glasses for kisses you would prefer a few words from your guests.
A friend of mine did this by giving all her guests paper and pencils as part of their favors and telling them that instead of clinking glasses, they should write a short poem and read it over the mic throughout dinner… It went over smashingly!
I have also been to weddings where there were wayyy too many toasts: one that sticks out in my mind - maybe candie and I were at the same wedding! - involved at least 8 toasts, more than one of which involved multiple pages of notes. Too long, too boring… and we were all really hungry.
I went to another wedding in Sweden, though, where almost everyone gave a toast. This is apparently the tradition in Sweden - there was a couple who were appointed “toastmasters” by the bride and groom, and they made sure the flow of food, wine and speeches went well (first course was served, and then 3 or 4 speeches happened during that course, and so on). Of the 35 or so guests, at least 20 gave toasts, but they were all great - it was the dinnertime entertainment.
So I guess it’s not a matter of “too many toasts ruin the wedding”, it’s that you should just plan accordingly.
At our wedding, we’re having my mom welcome all the guests, and our MOH and BM will do a toast. All other toasts will occur at the rehearsal dinner the night before. I’ve seen it done this way a few times, and it works well, as there is no set entertainment for the rehearsal dinner, so there is all the time in the world then!
I like having most of the toasts at the rehearsal dinner. Then only the ones that know the couple really well have to sit through them (as they will most likely enjoy them more) and it serves as the entertainment. I say keep it short and sweet at the wedding. I think if you and Mr. Jasmine gave a toast plus the dads, it would be very sweet!
I don’t have any advice about toasters (the speaking kind, not the kind for bread), but I wish I had that dress.
We had my two sisters, my husband’s two groomsman and my dad all give very short toasts. They were all great and totally made me cry. We went right after the last person, which was a good way to effectively end the toasting part of the evening.
We had one 30 second toast at the rehearsal lunch.
And two 2 minutes toasts (by MOH/BM) at the wedding.
Short and sweet and perfect.
I say do them DURING dinner so people can still chew while they listen and won’t cut into too much of the party time.
At my brother’s wedding they had the best men and maids of honor give their toasts and they whoever was last kind of made it known that the mike was open for whoever else would like to speak and a fwe cousins and uncles and friends came up to say a few words as well. It was great too since these were definitely not rehearsed, so everyone knew it was straight from the heart!
We had the father of the groom at the rehearsal dinner (since it was his party) and the best man and MOH at the reception (while the caterer was switching over from cocktails to dinner). That’s it. Anyone else who had something to say had to make it a haiku.
I was at a wedding where anyone who had something to say had to do it as a poem, and another where they had to do it as a little scene acted out with their table mates–especially difficult since it was a deaf wedding and everything required interpretation one way or the other. But both ways were super fun, and stopped people from going on and on and on.
I love the poem idea instead of kisses (esp. since we’re having poetry on our tables!). I might steal that 
As far as speeches, as is English tradition, the groom thanks the wedding guests for coming, the FOB makes a speech about the bride, and the BM makes a speech about the groom. Everyone gets covered and it seems very sweet to me. My MOH wants to speak too so I’m trying to see how we can fit that in. Hopefully the speeches won’t be too long. My sister (BM) also wants to speak but I may ask her to do it at the rehearsal dinner, where it’s more intimate.
I’ve been “studying” a book I took out from the library called: “The Wedding M.C.” because I had no idea what to tell our M.C or who should say what.
It’s pretty informative, but the author suggests that other than welcoming guests at the beginning, the remainder of toasts/speeches should wait until dessert is served and then the reception “program” begins. I thought this sounded weird, but my mom said that’s how it’s done at most weddings she has been to…maybe a Canadian thing?
