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Mrs. Milkshake, Seattle/Vancouver, BC Age and Occupation: 23, Pharmacist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Pharmacist Engagement Date: May 2007 Wedding Date: August 2008 Blogging Since: December 6, 2007 Venue: Victorian Mansion About Me: Despite the fact that I’ve invested many long years of my life studying the sciences in college, I’m glad to be out of there and I would never do it again! I’m super artsy at heart - I run an indie craft site, I grew up shooting and developing my own film, doing jazz and ballet, and the whole gamut of art classes. I’ve been called a Jane of all Trades… but I was also told many years ago not to make my passion my career because it’d suck the fun out of it. Hence my choice of day job. We live in Seattle but are having our wedding in Canada to be fair to all our family and friends.
About Mrs. Milkshake

The Cake Smash

March 20th, 2008 @ 3:33 pm by Mrs. Milkshake

DSC_6380I spent the entire day having a blast from behind the camera at my friend’s wedding, which rendered me undanceworthy and perhaps harder to get a word in with than the bride herself. But when the cake smashing happened, Mr. Milkshake leaned over and said “ohhh….that’s what you don’t want to happen.” My MOH and I had had a discussion about how uncouth cake in the face would be, and when I brought it up with Mr. Milkshake he had no idea that it was something people did at weddings. In fact, I wouldn’t put it past him to have done it anyway, without even knowing!
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Have you had the cake-in-the-face-discussion? Have you had this happen, discussion or no discussion?

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37 Responses to “The Cake Smash”

1.
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Guest
sally

I will never understand this. or the garter toss. do not want.

 
2.
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kpenn

We have had this discussion, and there will be absolutely NO smashing of the cake in the face. No way, no how. I didn’t spend $XXXX on a dress to have cake smashed on me!

 
3.
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brendalynn

Yeah, we’ve totally brought it up & agree resoundingly: No smashing! For us, it’s not about looking dumb–its more about the aggressiveness of it…

 
4.
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Linda

FI told me pretty early on he did not want any cake smashing. I agreed. Pretty simple.

 
5.
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Bee
Miss Jasmine (message)  1,154 posts, Bumble bee

Both Mr. Jasmine and I find the cake smash idea really unappealing– thankfully we’re on the same page!

 
6.
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JoJo23

I have warned my fiance since the first wedding we ever went to together that if he put cake on my face he would be in a world of hurt! He’s agreed not to do that (after all, I’m not having my hair and makeup done to have it all ruined in a food fight… and I HATE being dirty), but he’s such a goofball that I still get worried!

 
7.
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Jessica

There will be no cake smashing. Thankfully, FI is on the same page as I am. There’s really no point to it, no reason behind the tradition, and all it does is create an uncomfortable agressive situation and wreck the bride’s make-up. No thanks.

 
8.
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KaSandra

I told dh he could smash cake in my face any time, but that day! I would even buy the cake. I jus tthin Cake smashing on your wedding day is horrible

 
9.
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Emily

My finace was actually the first to bring up the no cake in the face thing - to my relief! Especially if I will be paying to have my make-up done.

 
10.
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SoireeLaura

Yep, we made a compromise. No cake smashing in return for as many snowballs he ever wants to throw at me. Thank goodness it doesn’t snow too often in DC!

 
11.
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AMK

We were both anti-smashing. I just don’t think there’s anything cute about it.

 
12.
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Sarah

Immediately following the cake smash at a wedding just after our engagement…

Him: We’re not doing that.
Me: No, we’re not.
Him: Okay, good.

 
13.
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endb

no cake smashing here. or garter/bouquet tossing. those are all traditions I can do happily without.

 
14.
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Bee
Miss Lovebug (message)  714 posts, Busy bee

Cake-smashing terrifies me. All that passive aggressive energy…**shiver**. Not our thing.

 
15.
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Jo

Cake-smashing is trashy as all get out. And incredibly disrespectful to each other. No way.

 
16.
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Marisa

No Cake Smashing! With my luck, if we did it, I would end up with some sort of filling all over my dress. Thankfully, this was an easy sell.

 
17.
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Cara

I told him if there was smashing, there would be an annulment shortly there after. =) LOL

 
18.
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E

FI had also never heard of the cake-smashing “tradition” until I mentioned it to him and agreed that it is really disrespectful and unappealing. So no, we will not be doing that either - or the garter toss, for that matter.

 
19.
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mhb

I agree that cake-smashing and the garter thing belong in the same category. Both of them are gross displays that just seem to exist to humiliate the bride (and the groom, in some respects). We didn’t do either of those at our wedding… because we LIKE each other.

 
20.
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L

No way. FI thinks it’s dumb as well. You pay all that money for hair and makeup and I don’t want to ruin it with cake mushed in my face.

 
21.
stargazerlily
Member
stargazerlily (message)  946 posts, Busy bee

Definitely love the cake feed…maybe not the smash, but i dont think its 100% cute unless you get a little cake on your face you know? Not an all out smash, but I like to see a little frosting on the face. Just a little :)

 
22.
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Cara

Yeah Pengy, a lil on the nose or something is kinda cute ! but only if it gets there on accident, or it is placed there with a loving tap on the nose !

 
23.
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BeesKnees

I’m there with Miss Penguin. A little frosting is a lot cute:)

 
24.
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Bee
Mrs. Corn (message)  1,010 posts, Bumble bee

we had a discussion about this…and Mr Corn ‘threatened’ but in the end we were civil. Although he may have ended up with a bit of frosting on his nose at some point ;)

 
25.
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Member
bridalmonkey (message)  11 posts, Newbee

We are both definitely anti-smash. A little frosting I could deal with.

We had a discussion about the cake smash and I know of some couples who discussed it and one of them smashed anyway. I don’t know if this is just me but that would make me so disappointed and angry. It’s not really about the cake but more about trust, you know?

 
26.
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thistleorchid

Every wedding my husband and I have been to where cake smashing has taken place has ended in divorce - probably just an wierd coincidence/twist of fate. But it sealed it for us! No cake smashing!

 
27.
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JangerToBe

This will not be happening at our wedding. It seems horribly passive-aggressive to me for some reason and isn’t really a gesture of love…which is what the day is all about, right?

 
28.
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Member
anna (message)  59 posts, Worker bee

it’s funny at your 21st birthday. definitely not funny on your wedding day.

the fiance and i haven’t talked about it, but i already know it won’t be happening. i’m not paying someone to do my makeup only to have my doofy husband mess it up with cake!

 
29.
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Member
piperbenjamin (message)  318 posts, Helper bee

i hate cake face smashing- the idea of anything coming towards my face, hair/ makeup/ $dress is terrifying. and it’s awful to watch a bride running to the bathroom w maids in tow to wash cake out of their hair or nose…

 
30.
suzanno
Hostess
suzanno (message)  2,694 posts, Sugar bee

We both agreed that the cake smashing is awful and not for us. It seems mostly disrespectful to me. I don’t particularly want frosting on my nose either. Cake feeding allowed only politely and as a gesture of love.

 
31.
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Jenny

Save the frosting face for another day… like maybe your child’s first birthday! Much more appropriate…

 
32.
southernbella
Member
southernbella (message)  152 posts, Blushing bee

It’s completely disgusting and piggish. We haven’t had to have a discussion, but then again if we had to, he wouldn’t be my fiancee!

 
33.
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villain

Down with the cake smash!

 
34.
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sarah

we also discussed it before hand. for us, the tradition of feeding each other cake is symbolic of how we were about to take care of each other for the rest of our lives and smashing it in the other’s face is not the way we wanted to start our lives together. but, he did nick my upper lip with the frosting (it was a tall piece of cake) and then gave me a kiss. it was very sweet.

 
35.
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VL

we’re having NONE of that….NONE!!!

TOTALLY OFF LIMITS…i think is cheesy and a bit gross! >.<

 
37.
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Lea

This topic was posted forever ago, but let me say this - cake smashing doesn’t ruin your makeup or your dress, nor does it look trashy, aggressive, piggish, disgusting, or any of the other negative words everyone has used. It’s supposed to be part of the CELEBRATION - so everyone needs to loosen up a little bit. It doesn’t foreshadow a divorce or mean that the rest of your pictures will be tarnished and your evening will be ruined because your makeup is slightly smudged. So come down off of your pedestals and actually have some fun! My husband and I have some of the best pictures from our “smashing.” Loosen up.

 


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Mrs. Milkshake Mrs. Milkshake, Seattle/Vancouver, BC Age and Occupation: 23, Pharmacist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Pharmacist Engagement Date: May 2007 Wedding Date: August 2008 Blogging Since: December 6, 2007 Venue: Victorian Mansion About Me: Despite the fact that I’ve invested many long years of my life studying the sciences in college, I’m glad to be out of there and I would never do it again! I’m super artsy at heart - I run an indie craft site, I grew up shooting and developing my own film, doing jazz and ballet, and the whole gamut of art classes. I’ve been called a Jane of all Trades… but I was also told many years ago not to make my passion my career because it’d suck the fun out of it. Hence my choice of day job. We live in Seattle but are having our wedding in Canada to be fair to all our family and friends.
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