Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto
Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist
Engagement Date: May 4, 2007
Wedding Date: June 28, 2008
Blogging Since: September 18, 2007
Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property.
About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be
the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
Just Say No!
March 25th, 2008 @ 12:56 pm by Mrs. Hummingbird
One of my worst habits is that I am very nonconfrontational and I hate to tell people I don’t like things. This is particularly bad in the wedding world where you have to make a decision every five seconds. When dealing with vendors, especially in person, I have a hard time admitting I don’t like something because I always feel like I’m somehow being mean by saying that I’m not into something they’ve worked on.
This was particularly an issue for me two weekends ago when I went to meet with my florist for the first time. I am not a huge flower person, so I didn’t know much about them going into my meeting. The only thing I knew is that I wanted to pick something a little unusual and not overwhelmingly bridal which, to me, meant one thing . . .
No roses.
I mean don’t get me wrong. They smell great and they’re very pretty, but they’re just not my style. I was completely sure that I did not want to carry them, when the florist came out carrying a sample bouquet which was of course completely rose centric. I wanted to say something right away, but because I hated the thought of being rude and because I was suffering from major decision making fatigue, I started to doubt myself. This was a professional flower person making suggestions . . . Maybe roses were not so bad . . .
Thankfully, before I made any sort of final decision, my MOH and FSIL Hummingbird Erin jumped in to help, reminding me that it was my wedding and it was perfectly okay to voice a preference, especially when it was something I was paying for. After I started thinking about it more like that, it got easier. I wasn’t about to go all bridezilla (after all I’ve worked in customer service and it can be a hard gig indeed), but I got more assertive and started to be a little more yes and no with my selections and narrowed it down to these lovely blooms.
Alstroemerias (also known as Peruvian Lilies or Lily-of-the-Incas): Not only are these seasonally available but they come in such a cool variety of colours, they can work with almost any colour scheme. I chose the Allure which is a fantastic shade of purple.
Freesia: I’ve always loved the smell of this flower and it has a terrific fresh look to it. The girls will be carrying the purple variety while I will have cream in my bouquet to set it apart.
Waxflower (also known as Chamelaucium): These small five petal flowers are a cool alternative to the traditional baby’s breath kind of filler flower.
Variegated Pittosporum (a.k.a. that stripey leaf): You wouldn’t think that something with the word “Pit” in its name would be so pretty, but these little white edged leaves are actually pretty stylish.With the freesia and the alstroemeria being the centerpiece flowers, it should hopefully look something like this (albeit more purple than pink):
In any case, as you can see, not a rose in sight! Plus, by picking things that I liked that were in season, my trip to the florist cost $200 less than what I was expecting. Hooray for getting what you want!
Anyway, I’m pretty happy with how things turned out, but I was curious - has any one else had a hard time saying no to vendors? How did you learn to raise your voice and get what you wanted?
13 Responses to “Just Say No!”
Miss Hum, you’re definitely not a rose girl! The flowers you picked are amazing! And freesia smells gorgeous from even 10 feet away!
very pretty bouquet! i like that it’s different and not the traditional roses.
from a vendor pov, it’s actually more frustrating when the client doesn’t voice her opinion right away. i’m gifting invites to a friend and i showed her a design that she said she liked but later admitted she wanted something else instead. so i had to return supplies i bought and start the design files over from scratch. she was trying to be nice because i was gifting them but to me, it doesn’t matter what the design is as long as she’s happy. i don’t want to give her something she hates. that defeats the purpose of giving her a custom gift! anyway, it cost more money in supplies (some i couldn’t return or they charged a restocking fee) and hours to change her design because she didn’t speak up in the first place. so, im imagining the same goes for vendors you pay. it costs time and supplies to make mock ups and samples, so it’s better to speak up from the beginning. the vendor isn’t going to care if you ordered pink over blue, they just want to ultimately make you happy.
anyway, sorry for long rant. i love your new flowers and glad you spoke up for what you want!
I’m with you. No roses for me either! I’m using freesia for the bouts. I love how pretty it smells!
My florist was pushing lilies hard. I’m non confrontational too. I simply said that’s not what I had in mind. He’s not paying for my wedding. I am.
I’m no roses too!
With respect to vendors, I made sure to identify up front that I was not looking to go the traditional route. If the vendor was excited about not having tulle, or roses, or the flouncy wedding dress, or the class of ‘89 posed photos, they were booked. If they gave a bit of ‘tude, they were bounced. Easy!
While I am aiming to have a non-traditional wedding, there will be traditional elements included (mostly due to cultural influences). That being said, all of my vendors loved the change from the normal traditional route and are excited to work on such an event!
I had white freesia in my bouquet, too, and a stem of it curving over my chignon.
Gorgeous! And alstroemeria lasts like crazy too - you won’t have to worry about your bouquets looking tired before the end of the day. I’m like Bonnie - I certainly want advice from my vendors, but I don’t want anyone telling me what I ought to like. Apparently what I like is not exactly the norm, but I’m lucky to have a set of vendors who try really hard to understand what I want and are really helpful as soon as they actually do understand!
I was anti-roses too! Was very specific with my florist and, lo and behold yellow roses in all the bouquets!! ugh… it was hideous
guess wut, i hate roses too - and i told my florist so. i don’t think i had any trouble saying no, but then i come off bitchy. but i figure, it’s MY wedding! and it’s only gonna happen once so it better be something i like. glad you found alternatives too!
I received a strange look from the florist when I told her I did not want roses.
i know exactly what you mean, i also am a no-rose gal, and everyone thinks it is the craziest thing they have ever heard when i tell them. i love your flowers though!
I have no problem raising my voice, and I don’t plan to have any vendors who would be offended by my opinionated nature. I DO get frustrated when my vendors treat me like I don’t know what I want. I spend hours and hours researching every little detail, I think I know whether I want roses or peonies!
As a florist, you made a wonderful choice in your bouquet. We are so used to roses, its just what we automatically go to, but Alstromeria and Freesia is a wonderful combination that will last a very long time, and it will be very pretty, have a wonderful wedding….
