Our First Dholki

March 26th, 2008 @ 9:23 am by Mrs. Jasmine

Last weekend Mr. Jasmine and I traveled to Michigan for our first dholki. A dholki is a pre-wedding celebration with dancing, music, and food. Most engaged couples will attend several dholkis in their honor before the wedding day — this was the first of three for us!

When we first arrived at the hotel, we were led to the ballroom where numerous members of Mr. Jasmine’s community were anxiously awaiting our arrival. We were led to a stage where the hosts of the dholki fed us delicious sweets (for a sweet marriage) and rubbed lotion on our hands and face (I don’t actually know the meaning behind that, but we’re well moisturized!).

Delicious food and festive dancing followed. I was really touched by the generosity and thoughtfulness of our hosts— it was such a fun evening and a really great opportunity to meet Mr. Jasmine’s family friends.

But what surprised me about the evening was how completely nervous I was. I had a wonderful time and really enjoyed meeting everyone, but I was unprepared to be the center of attention and I found myself looking down a lot, especially with everyone aiming their cameras at me. And when I was encouraged to get on the dance floor with Mr. Jasmine while everyone watched, I nearly died! I didn’t expect to be that uncomfortable with the spotlight and all the cameras flashing. It was good practice for the wedding though!

Are any of you nervous about all the wedding day attention?

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12 Responses to “Our First Dholki”

Member

slanders80 (message) 28 posts, Newbee

I never really thought of myself as shy but I realized the other week when I was nervous about being the center of attention at the shower that the wedding may be harder than I thought. Hopefully my FH will take the spot light.

3/26/08 @ 9:59 am (reply)

Hostess

suzanno (message) 2,694 posts, Sugar bee

I have not got around to being nervous about the wedding yet - and somehow since that’s my party it seems like that will make it easier. I am really nervous about all the lead-up to the wedding - showers and bachelorette parties and whatnot. I work with mostly men, and so don’t think of myself as having a big group of girlfriends - so I somehow assumed there wouldn’t be showers and such. But everybody seems to want to throw a party of some sort. I think I am just uncomfortable at the idea of everybody going to so much trouble just for me…

3/26/08 @ 10:48 am (reply)

Member

MissV (message) 49 posts, Newbee

Ditto that. The engagement pics were weird enough. I was excited about the idea of them but actually having someone do pics just of me/us was nerve-wracking…

3/26/08 @ 11:24 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Peacock (message) 374 posts, Helper bee

I am nervous about the shower with Mr. Peacock’s side. I don’t know most of them very well and it will be so weird to open their gifts 10 minutes after meeting them. I think I am going to drag Mr. P with me, at least for the presents part.

I LOVE that big smile on your face in the picture! You’re the cutest

3/26/08 @ 11:35 am (reply)

Guest

JangerToBe

Uh, YES! I’m already thinking about having to walk down the aisle. Having 200 pairs of eyes staring at me is not a comforting though. I prefer to blend into walls, so this will be an interesting day for me.

3/26/08 @ 11:37 am (reply)

Member

stargazerlily (message) 946 posts, Busy bee

Aww miss J! Youre just like me. I havent had a birthday party since I was 5, because I am terrified of being the center of attention! So my face turns bright red when I am…hopefully we can do something about it come wedding day but I think all I can do is skip wearing blush and pray for a calmness to come over me!

3/26/08 @ 11:59 am (reply)

Member

bridalmonkey (message) 11 posts, Newbee

Yes, definitely - I’m not nervous about the getting married part - just the everyone watching me part…

I have heard advice to focus on the groom and you’ll be fine!

3/26/08 @ 12:00 pm (reply)

Guest

ambrosia

I’m freaking out about the attention. I’m so nervous about the ceremony and the reception! I was getting redfaced with the attention from the bridal shop attendant! I’m totally not used to being the center of attention.

3/26/08 @ 12:57 pm (reply)

Member

mtyf (message) 321 posts, Helper bee

Absolutely I am… I was already crazy nervous at my bridal shower! All the pictures I took came out completely blurry because I was all shaky… I don’t know how I’m going to survive our wedding weekend! It also just weirds me out (in a good way, but still) that all these people are literally going out of their way to be there for us. Amazing, but it really piles on the pressure!

3/26/08 @ 2:05 pm (reply)

10.

Member

mlindsey (message) 349 posts, Helper bee

I was stupid nervous about being the center of attention! I read in another post that one of the ladies (Tiramisu?) was nervous about being the center of attention at her shower. I’m glad that I’m not a freak of nature for feeling that way, but here’s what I’ve learned one week post wedding day:
1. Even though it seemed like a long process planning and all to get to the actual day, afterwards, I realized just how fast it all went down from start to finish. So, you really need to soak it all in and enjoy it.
2. People WANT to shower you with gifts and attention and you should let them with no reservations. I felt bad about receiving gifts for my shower, AND for the wedding AND having people make such a fuss. It was almost as though I felt they should only do one or the other. Getting married is a momentous, once-in-a-lifetime occasion, and people don’t mind. Until you have a baby, you will never experience this again.
3. Being the bride MEANS you are going to be the center of attention, no matter what you do or say (Unless you ask your guests to close their eyes). I felt so weird about having “all eyes on me” that I was freaked out 2 weeks before my wedding. My sister told me to kick back and enjoy it, because nothing will ever just be “all about me” ever again. I did, and I’m glad!

3/26/08 @ 5:46 pm (reply)

11.

Member

mlindsey (message) 349 posts, Helper bee

Oh yea, and number 4:

It’s okay to let people do nice things for you and make you the center of attention, especially if you’re the type to do that for others. People who are usually on the giving end are shy and not comfortable with being on the receiving end. Give yourself permission to be okay with it.

3/26/08 @ 6:09 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

Shawn

omg you finally posted a picture of yourself! I was beginning to think you were either super camera shy or just didn’t want us to see more of your lovely self!

Please share more!

3/27/08 @ 10:26 pm (reply)