Wedding Blog
[Part 1]
After I went away to college, Mr. Cherry Pie and I saw each other only on weekends for the first year and a half. We didn’t like the distance but we were crazy about each other, so it was the only chance we had actually making it work. He’d come down Friday night, stay in my tiny single dorm bed for three nights, and leave super early on Monday morning.
In retrospect, I was a HORRIBLE dorm-mate which is probably why I went through three roommates before getting a single room. Through distance, we learned to live separate lives, to value our independence, and to communicate. It really prolonged the whole “honeymoon” phase of our relationship, too. We were giddily excited to see each other well into our second year together.
Eventually, Mr. Cherry moved down to Oregon for post-graduate work and we spent a year living together in a cute little apartment. We started talking about marriage. However, true to form, I wanted to be sure I was making the right decision. This, combined with several academic and personal opportunities, led me to leave Oregon to study abroad in Tokyo for 10 months. Poor Mr. Cherry moved back up to Seattle and patiently waited for my return while I lived out one of my life’s dreams. He did come visit me for a month smack-dab in the middle of my trip, and our visit together was what really convinced me we were meant to be. We still talk about taking another trip through Japan together.
When I came home, I finished my last year in school while Mr. Cherry worked in Seattle. At this point, we knew we’d be moving in together after my graduation, so dealing with the distance became a lot easier. Honestly, I think having separate lives led us to create a stronger relationship in the long run. We learned to communicate well, to be independent, and to value our time both apart and together.
We had decided we wanted to get married, but neither of us really wanted to initiate an engagement until we lived in the same zip code. So, after I graduated in 2005, I moved to Seattle to be with my sweetie once and for all. It only took a year of planning (and hassling) for Mr. Cherry Pie to pop the question. But I’ll tell you about that later.
To make a long story short, we all survived and we’re better for it. Mr. Fox and I rebuilt our friendship, gradually and with a lot of work. Because we lived in the same city and still cared for each other, it was worth the headache and heartbreak to puzzle through it. Mr. Cherry Pie and Mr. Fox also resolved their differences after several seasons of extreme awkwardness. It’s been eight years now, and we’re all very happy. In fact, Mr. Fox’s girlfriend (Miss Fox?) is making our letterpress invitations and all the paper goods for our wedding!
How do ya like them apples?
Am I the only one with a relationship so long and fraught with drama and distance? Did anyone else wait to get engaged?
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Share this post: Meeting Mr. Cherry Pie - Part 2
Wow Miss Cherry Pie, your story sounds so similar to mine and my FI that I just got goosebumps.
I TOTALLY know what you mean about the separation bringing you together and prolonging that “honeymoon phase” feeling. My FI and I have known each other for 10 years, dated for almost all that time but have only lived together in the same place for the last 2 years (we met in high school, so same town then too, but living with parents.) Even now we never take the time we see each other for granted because we can still remember how much it use to hurt to not be able to be there, physically, for each other every day.
I really wish you and Mr. Cherry Pie the best in your wedding and life together. I love to hear about other “long distance, long term ” couples that have made it.
Congrats!
Mr. Lovebird and I started dating our freshman years in college and did the long distance thing. Him at NYU and me at Bryn Mawr in PA. We saw each other every couple of weeks and talked on the phone each night until one of us fell asleep. He didn’t propose until my third year of law school and the wedding is set to take place about about 7 and a half years after we started dating. There was of course the Dawson Creek type drama….but I’ll spare you all the details.
Whew - thanks for posting this over my lunch break! I’ll be so much more productive this afternoon. 
Mr. HB and I actually met at a study-abroad program while I was dating someone else back home - yowch! It created some definite drama, but after my inevitable breakup with the old beau, we did extreme long-distance (me in Europe, him in the US) for 6+ months and then lived two states apart for a little over a year before he moved to the same city with me… but I actually had to make the choice between spending a year after college graduation in Japan to work, or staying in Chicago to be with him. I chose Chicago, but we both want to get to Japan some day.
What’s most gratifying is that you and Mr. Fox kept it civil. That’s the tough part, and I commend you for working out that friendship.
I don’t actually think of our relationship as fraught with drama, but FI and I have been friends for almost 22 years. We met the year I graduated from college - we lived in the same apartment complex and carpooled to work together. He was married at the time. We were sharing an office when his kids were born, and then after he left the big company where we worked to run the local office of a very small company, he eventually hired me and I worked for him. I got lots of exciting jobs on travel, and wandered the country and the world, working for a string of small consulting firms, while he stayed put with his wife and kids. Six years ago she ditched both him and the kids for an unemployed guy with a Harley, which was a shock to everyone who knew them. At the time I was in the process of leaving a five-year relationship because my live-in boyfriend had gotten another girl pregnant, so we commiserated and supported each other by phone and email, and got together for drinks or coffee when we ended up in the same city.
Three years ago my father had fairly serious surgery, and I arranged to take a couple of weeks off to help him recuperate. It was a scary experience for me, and I started to think that after over ten years of globe-trotting, maybe I should think about moving back to my hometown. I started to take a lot of jobs there, and do some serious networking. I also started spending a lot more time with my old friend, which was great. We went out to dinner, to lunch, to hockey games, and baseball games. I started to wonder if we weren’t dating. I started to sort of like the idea. And although he swears that those weren’t actually dates, eventually he asked me to go away for the weekend with him for New Years’ Eve (our first date, by his reckoning, which makes me pretty easy, I guess). That same weekend (Friday before New Years) I got two job offers back home - they both wanted me to start within three weeks, and they both offered really generous move packages.
And I guess the rest is history! Our friends who have known us all along couldn’t be happier. The kids are also really happy, which is pretty important to us. Our newer friends ask when is the wedding, and how long we have known each other, and look very confused at the answers.
Oh Miss Cherry Pie, I’m so happy to hear your story! After more than 4 years we’re still not in the same zip code but have decided that the wedding must go on! We’re working on making that happen very soon! you can check out our story at http://www.evelynandstephen.com it’s much more condensed but you’ll get the point!
I can’t wait to hear more about your wedding plans!!!
long term long D– success! we’ll have been dating for 7 years when we get married this summer too… throw in four years of long distance (first year was beijing– yes china– and san francisco, the rest was san francisco and boston), two shared cities (beijing and boston), and here we are today. Now that we’re in the same city once and for all, I have no idea how we managed the distance for all those years… with a record of 8 months of separation at one point. Guess miracles do happen. =)
sharing zip codes and TIME ZONES sure does help a lot, right girls?
My fiance and I met when I moved to the town he grew up in 3 months before he graduated from high school. We spent the next 5 years in a “mostly” long distance relationship (aside from college vacations and summers), and next summer we will be getting married after 9 years of being together.
It was hard at the time, but looking back, I am so happy that we got to have it all: our own college experiences with our own friends, while holding on to our relationship at the same time!
Congratulations and good luck with planning!
not so much fraught with drama but definitely with the distance. the boy and i have been together for 3 years now and have been long-distance for 3 years. but it’s true, the honeymoon stage lasted a long bit though we still get super amped when its time to visit. but we have built a very solid relationship in the midst of being apart. up next is figuring out which zip code to call home together and after that, finally marriage. which means i won’t go more than a few nights without seeing the boy, which is a great perk after being apart for so long now.
Thank you for sharing your stories everyone. I don’t feel like such an anomaly now. And yes, people had been asking us “when are you going to get married?!” since about 2005.
Kristin, you do indeed know this story well. 
Evelyn, I checked out your website and it is super cute. Thanks!
Suzanno, holy smokes that is one EPIC story. I was enthralled.
Cherry girly,
My fiance and I started dating less than a week before I was to graduate high school…and nearly six and a half years later, he proposed. Between point A and point B were two separate (albeit close) undergraduate educations (Rutgers in Camden, NJ and Villanova) and two graduate school programs (mine in Boston [BU, actually, Miss Canary!] from fall 2005 to the end of December 2006, and his in Philly, finishing up earlier in the month we’ll get married!). So, I hear you on waiting to get engaged, the distance thing, etc. Chris and I are actually talking now about getting somewhat BACK to our “Boston relationship” — one filled with meaningful calls, cute cards in the mail, etc. Crazy, but being close to someone doesn’t always make you closer to them!
Mags- Yes, getting back into it would be awesome in a way. I take business trips sometimes and it’s really nice to be independent for a few days and come home to feel the full appreciation again. I wish Mr. Cherry traveled sometimes too!
We were together well over 4 years before getting engaged, and people thought that was WAY too long, but our education has always been our priority, and we wanted to get medical school/graduate school well underway before taking the plunge. We’ve done the distance thing in the past, are together now, and will be moving apart for 3ish years starting six days after we return from our honeymoon. 
I’m totally bummed because I’ve heard from so many people that living together once you’re married is a bazillion times harder than a long-distance relationship/engagement.
Oh well, I guess it will all be worth it in the end!
I’ve always found living with Mr. Cherry Pie to be easier than living with any roommate I’ve had. (But maybe it’s because he’s more forgiving of my clean-freakedness. Haha.)
I am a self-professed clean freak as well and I feel you pain with roomates being less than tolerable
FI and I are currently on our last 2 weeks of long distance after 4 years of it over three different provinces. We’re not within driving distance (it takes about 2 days to drive) so I fly back to visit him once a month (he’s working, I’m in school, therefore I’m more flexible - i.e. can skip classes).
It’s hard. Really hard sometimes. But we never broke up once, and I think it’s good for us. We realized we do really need each other and we’ve had the opportunity to see what’s out there and know we want each other. It’s also really good for trust, which is a big problem for some couples.
glad to know I’m not the only one…
[...] UPDATE: Part 2 is up! [...]
i totally hear ya miss cherry pie… my FI and i have been together for 7 years, in the same city for the first 2 but then long distance for the next 5 b/c of him being in grad school. our longest time of not seeing each other was 6 mths. it was definitely rough! but the distance will soon be over with the wedding. be over. hooray for what we hope to be happy endings. =)
[...] for almost eight-and-a-half years when we were married and that we spent a good deal of that time dating long distance—even [...]
[...] for almost eight-and-a-half years when we were married and that we spent a good deal of that time dating long distance - even [...]
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Miss Cherry Pie, Seattle/Polebridge, Montana
Age and Occupation: 25, Marketing Communications Specialist
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Nurse Practitioner
Engagement Date: August 26, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: April 1, 2008
Venue: A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
About Me: I think of life as a journey and I love the places it's taking me! I went to school to study Magazine Journalism, ended up with a second major in Japanese language, and now work at a company that makes software for libraries. I love writing, computers, photography, and the great outdoors. I spend most of my time playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band or geeking out online with Mr. Cherry Pie. I'm happiest when I'm on the road, especially traveling abroad, or just nesting quietly at home with my sweetie, who is a fabulous cook and bakes a delicious rendition of a certain cherry-filled dessert!
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