Good News?

April 4th, 2008 @ 4:45 pm by Mrs. Sundae

If I am perfectly honest, I can’t say I have much of a relationship with the wedding coordinator at our venue. I don’t dislike her, she hasn’t made any mistakes, but I always get the general feeling that she’s annoyed with me. Granted, she might have a right to be a little put off (I ask a lot of questions), but I can’t imagine that I am by any means the worst bride she’s ever dealt with. I feel like I’ve built a relationship with our other vendors, so I’ve been a little worried that her lukewarm feelings towards me were going to translate into forgotten details or misunderstood instructions. I realize that we’re by no means the only people she has to deal with and that she’s got a lot on her plate, but basically there wasn’t much trust there.

This and all of the other reasons I mentioned led me to hire our wonderful day-of-coordinator. No trust issues there! Mama Sundae and I are planning on heading up to Wisconsin in a few weeks to meet with said venue coordinator about table linens, and we decided that Danica (DOC) should come along. The meeting was set and a few days later I got an email that the venue coordinator is leaving and they’re trying to find someone to replace her. They’ve still ordered the sample linens for us to check out, but now we’re going to be meeting with the “temporary coordinator” instead of someone who will actually be there the day of the wedding. They’re not even sure when they’ll find a replacement.
I believe this whole scenario falls into the “be careful what you wish for” category. I mean, maybe they’ll hire someone better… but what if it’s someone worse? Who is now coming into the picture 5 1/2 months before the wedding? Danica assured me that she’ll keep detailed notes of how everything is supposed to go down that day, and she’ll lay down the law. I have total faith in her but I can’t shut off the crazy in my head. What if they don’t order the specific dance floor I asked for? Will they remember that there was an agreement to hang lanterns? I have emails documenting all of these conversations, but am I going to look like a loon if I show up with a pile of printed emails?

Has this happened to anyone else? If so, how did you handle everything?

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11 Responses to “Good News?”

Guest

Aliya

Dying to know where she’s going, if you feel like you’re able to share that (did they tell you?). Also, if a woman named Jan Geraci meets with you and your coordinator, you’re going to be in excellent hands.

4/4/08 @ 4:55 pm (reply)

Guest

Natalie

This happened to me, except they didn’t even tell me that the coordinator I was working with left and a new one started.. I found out when the new one was listed on their website! Nice

I set up a meeting with the new one and went over ALL the details again. It got a little hairy a few weeks before our wedding, but my DOC made sure everything worked well in the end.

In a similar situation, there were things I didn’t like about the original coordinator and the new one was like the opposite with a different set of offputting things. Ah well, sounds like you are in good hands.

4/4/08 @ 5:33 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Sundae (message) 198 posts, Blushing bee

They didn’t tell me where she was going, Aliya. All I know is that it’s somewhere in Milwaukee

4/4/08 @ 5:34 pm (reply)

Guest

Jess

This did happen to me, and like Natalie, I didn’t find out until I finally called the venue to ask why the old coordinator hadn’t been responding to my emails. It turned out that the old coordinator had been somewhat problematic (although she had seemed fine to me) and hadn’t transferred all of her files over to her replacement.

They did have a replacement, though, which helped. I think in your case hiring your own DOC will help a lot because she can deal with the transition for you. What I did in my case was to forward to the new coordinator every email I had exchanged with the old one, along with our proposal, costs, menu, etc., and then meet with her in person to go over everything.

The new coordinator turned out to be much better than the old one–and hopefully that will happen to you too, since maybe you aren’t the only one who didn’t love the old coordinator and that’s why she’s gone?

But here’s something to remember–the fact that the venue staff is in transition can actually give you MORE flexibility. The venue people bent over backward to accommodate things that I wanted and that I had arranged with the old coordinator. They gave me a discount she had offered me even though it was above what her manager would have approved if she had checked, because I had it all documented through email.

So, my point in this really long comment is: Document everything! Make sure your DOC and the temporary person at your venue both know about everything that you had worked out with and been told by the old coordinator. And if anyone tries to change anything on you, stand firm. And if you have any problems, complain and they will probably be more accommodating or even give you a discount on something to make it up to you.

4/4/08 @ 5:46 pm (reply)

Member

tea (message) 2,616 posts, Sugar bee

considering you’re dealing with a new coordinator, bringing a pile of printed emails will not be a problem. good thing you hired a DOC; that’ll help a ton during the transition.

4/4/08 @ 5:55 pm (reply)

Member

cs (message) 50 posts, Worker bee

You certainly won’t look like a loon if you bring the printed emails.

Mostly because, you can tell them all the agreements and only pull out the emails if needed.

And in that case you just look smart to have brought them.

4/4/08 @ 6:01 pm (reply)

Guest

christina

I was checking back to see the progress of your wedding plans. Sorry you are having such problems with the coordinator. Are you keeping the damask idea? I am still trying to incorporate it into our wedding. Did the invites with it as an accent and the favor box tags, guest towels…still haven’t figured out if I want it on the tables as runners or toppers. You have great ideas! I know your wedding will be fabulous! We are hanging white 30″ japanese lanterns with crystal drops and white organza asymetrical swags on the ceiling of the tent. Please post pics of your event, it wil be stunning and don’t forget to breathe…..

4/4/08 @ 7:40 pm (reply)

Member

jilian (message) 372 posts, Helper bee

This happened with our caterer. I had at least three ‘contact’ people. It was a little frustrating. They actually had all the notes and I made sure to review ‘everything’ with each new person to make sure we were on the same page. I actually think the final person was much better than the first

Best of luck - I’m thinking happy thoughts for everything to work out way better for you!

4/4/08 @ 8:31 pm (reply)

Guest

Jen

Ok, stop. Breathe. I’ve been dealing with all sorts of anxiety like this myself, and finally realized that as long as groom, me and the officiant are there, and the place doesn’t burn down, nothing else is worth freaking out about! One way or another, things will work out to be beautiful or a good story to laugh about with your family and friends on your 10th anniversary

We’re all with you, just remember it’s really all going to be ok.

4/4/08 @ 10:18 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

'zilla

Same thing happened to me. 10 months before the wedding, new coordinator! We really hated the other one, she was really snotty about us having a budget (god forbid!). We’d asked about off season specials and such and she just blew us off and made us feel like crap (seriously this place is the most expensive rent in the area so we thought maybe sometimes they have specials…not a crazy question!). New girl comes in, everything seems great, but she keeps wanting to get together to go over things we settled months ago with her. I just don’t fully trust her either but we don’t have a budget for a coordinator anymore (wahoo 2 weeks to go!) I’ve started keeping emails as well instead of picking up the phone and calling, I’d rather have documentation about the whole thing!

I think you’ll be fine, it’ll all work out, it’s just hard to gain back trust when you’ve been lied to several times and plans have to be gone over and over and over again. Don’t worry, it will be ok, but I totally know how you feel!

4/5/08 @ 9:05 am (reply)

11.

Guest

Andria, ThePlanner

I understand your uneasiness; but, you’re fine. Take a deep breath to relax yourself and trust your DOC to be your advocate. She knows the details you are concerned about and will make sure you are taken care of. Things go RIGHT at weddings more often than they go wrong. Just keep that in mind and you will be okay.

4/6/08 @ 10:51 am (reply)