Weddingbee Blog

First off remember that this is a business relationship, so relax about being liked. Bridezillas have temper tantrums, brides just horsetrade-so, for example no duck tasting maybe ask for a discount, or for a guaranteed refund percentage if you don’t like the food. They expect this-it’s how event planners and conference organizers get stuff done. A good friend of mine is a professional conference organizer for non-profits, and basically he told me for everything I give up, ask for something in return, and to be pleasant but firm, and decide what your dealbreakers are.

frankly, you should tell them that you’re a Weddingbee blogger, and that you’re planning to do vendor reviews on the site. This is honest and should clue them in to being nicer to you.

I’m with you on this one Miss Penguin. My reception site won’t let us taste the food unless we pay $500, which was never disclosed to us. In addition, they said we could do whatever we wanted with the bar, cash or host, which they went back on after we signed the contract and sent in the deposit saying we could only do a host bar. Also, we had to get our cake through their approved baker. They had an expert pastry chef, again when I signed the contract, who quit. Now, they have a baker direct out of culinary school with no experience. We were both very disappointed in the cake after our tasting, but can’t do anything about it. I plan fundraising events all the time, and have never had any problem with vendors like I have had for my wedding. I think vendors feel like they can get away with pulling antics because it’s a wedding for some reason. Stand-up for yourself and know they really can’t ruin your day unless you let them! I have had to get very direct with my reception site, and I have starting taking notes so if they go back on a promise I can call them on it. Don’t be afraid of being called a Bridezilla, because that is silencing you and causing you frustration. You are paying them to do a very expensive job, so if they don’t live up to expectations say something very polite, yet direct, with finding a solution in mind!

I had my save the dates done by a professional stationary person (not sure what the word is). She was over a month late with them and I asked sweetly if she would consider comping the computer calligraphy for the front of the envelopes and she not only did that but gave me letterpress for the price of flat! She is super nice and great to work with so that helps too, but it never hurts to ask!

Also, I read a good book (a gift from my sister) called “Women Don’t Ask”, about how women aren’t conditioned to negotiate. That might help. It helped me: http://www.womendontask.com/

I definitely relate to not being comfortable being assertive with vendors, but I really do think it’s worth it! I have become more comfortable doing that, and while I only occasionally do something even as minor as sending a meal back in a restaurant or something, I feel SO much better than when I sit there stewing thinking “this is not AT ALL what I wanted!”

Also, I definitely think you should let them know you’re a blogger here. It’s not unethical at all; you ARE going to review them, you happen to have a much larger audience than most, and if that startles them into giving you better service, good.

Great post. I have struggled with this throughout the entire planning process. I’m planning a destination wedding so am relying on my coordinator for everything, as I won’t be able to see it beforehand. I DID fire my first coordinator after a few stressful months of debates on everything…it just wasn’t worth it. I’m at the point where I’m kind of just hoping everything works out..hopefully I’ll pick my battles as they come up. Good luck!