Mrs. Lovebug, Tucson
Age and Occupation in 06: 31, Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Professional Game Show Contestant
Engagement Date: February 18, 2007
Wedding Date: April 19, 2008
Venue: Historic Inn
About Me: Likes: blogging, wikis, semi-colons, cuddling, fragrant flowers, syntax, and spooning. Dislikes: typos, dangling modifiers, flypaper, citronella candles, and run-ons. If I had my druthers, I'd exchange simple vows in a candlelit library. But I lost my druthers long ago...anyone seen them?
Important Words (Part I?)
April 10th, 2008 @ 11:18 am by Mrs. Lovebug
A little while back, I blogged about the struggle of trying to write a beautiful, cohesive, secular ceremony. And a few of you encouraged me to share my efforts. So while it’s still a (quickly solidifying) draft, I thought I’d post one of the less personal sections - the group blessing.
To me, a group blessing is both a beautiful way to acknowledge your friends and family, and a way to make an otherwise lengthy set of speeches more interesting. Plus, my family situation being what it is, my friends ARE my family.
There’s a note in the program inviting guests to participate in the simple blessing by answering “We do” to the officiant’s prompts. So it won’t be out of the blue. 
Ok - critics, please be gentle:
Each of you are here today because you bring something special to the lives of M. and D. Some of you have known one or both of them for years - and some of you are meeting one of them for the very first time today. But whether you’re an old friend or a newly acquired relation, you have a special place in their hearts.Likewise, you have a special purpose. As beloved family and friends, it is you to whom they’ll turn in the coming years, whether in joy or in sorrow. It is you with whom they’ll share their happiness, and you to whom they’ll bring their pain. You will watch their marriage mature; you will watch their children grow.And when hard times come, and the loving support of friends and family is needed, M. and D. hope to be able to turn to you, just as they will turn to each other.
And so they ask that you commit to them, as they are committing to one another. That just as they pledge to support and protect the other, you pledge to support and protect their relationship, today and always.
When prompted, please answer “We do”.
They ask: Do you offer this man and woman your blessing as husband and wife? Please say, we do.
(We do.)
And do you offer their marriage your support, as loving friends and family? Please say, we do.
(We do.)
Simple enough, anyway - which is really how I want it. I find there’s so much euphemism in marriage ceremonies. My love of verbal economy reigns even in this, I guess.
I’ve also finished the chocolate and wine ritual, should anyone have any interest in how we’re working candy and alcohol into our marriage ceremony… 
For my fellow ceremony/vow-writers, how’s it coming? Are you making your language formal and floral? Or more straightforward?
26 Responses to “Important Words (Part I?)”
Oh, Miss Lovebug, this is absolutely perfect!! I think I’m going to steal a lot of your ceremony ideas since we’re having a friend officiate.
If you could post your wine and chocolate ritual, I would love it!!!
that is so touching - i’m sitting in my office teary eyed! very well done!
1) I think we’re going to steal the group blessing idea! But just one teeeeeny thing — “each” is a singular pronoun, so you might want to change the first sentence. Just looking out for a fellow writer!
2) I would love to hear your chocolate and wine idea. My FI doesn’t drink wine and thinks it doesn’t taste good at all, so having him drink wine (symbolic of the “sweetness of marriage” in a Jewish wedding) would totally be lost on him. We’re looking for other ideas to convey the “sweetness of marriage” that would also tie in to breaking the glass (at the end of the ceremony).
Heck with the vows and blessings– the wedding could get interesting with chocolate and wine!!! That and alittle bling for the finger and what more could a girl want??
This is absolutely beautiful, succint, and moving. As a wedding guest, I would feel so honored to be a part of a group blessing. Incredible job!
i would love to hear more about the chocolate and wine.
Great job - a few suggestions:
In the paragraph block, I’d delete the word “likewise.” It’s a great word on paper, but doesn’t sound natural when said aloud.
Also, the “Please say ‘we do’” section is unnecessary. If there’s an intro telling people to say that, you don’t need to coax them another time.
Just my 2 cents!
so simple and moving. I love it!
your audience will be touched that you are doing this.
Hi - just wanted to say it looks like it will be a lovely part of a very personal ceremony. I thought I might offer 2 cents - ‘newly acquired’ sounds a bit business-like. Maybe echo the way ‘old friend’ looks and sounds with something like ‘new relation’ or ‘new relative’ or ‘new family member’ and leave out ‘acquired? Just a thought. Hope the rest goes just as beautifully as this part!!!
I love it!! We’re integrating our “group blessing” into the idea of a unity candle. Each guest will have a small candle and the flame will pass from from our mothers to the guests, then from guest to guest before it gets to the bridal party and eventually us. Because our marriage won’t be legal (gay), this serves as all the affirmation of our marriage that we’re going to get from the world at large.
I also agree that it’s hard to choose the appropriate tone - it feels forced to write in flowy language but informal language feels woefully insufficent. It’s very hard to strike the right balance.
Great job, Miss Lovebug!
I think I NEED to hear about your chocolate and wine ritual. We are planning like a “wine pouring”, and I am afraid it will look awkward if we don’t plan it well.
And I love your blessing, so nice and sweet!
So sweet!!! I freakin love your posts! I’m sitting at my desk crying and eating lunch.
oh LB there you’ve done it again with that extra touch you’ve got. love it love it love it, so much that i wanna steal it… if only i knew for sure that we’d get a good response when the guests are prompted (i totally see my guests dazing during the ceremony…)
dude, i can’t wait for the chocolate and wine details!!
We are also doing this in our ceremony. I love it! Friends and family are so important to us and I this this includes people in the ceremony and in our lives. Great job!
Absolutely lovely! I wish you could come plan my wedding
I’m so glad I posted this. Those grammar mistakes would have haunted me for years. Thankyouthankyouthank you.
Chocolate and wine, coming right up.
I think it is absolutely beautiful! We’re writing our own ceremony and hadn’t considered this AT ALL…I think now we’re definitely going to be stealing this idea! It’s fantastic! well done!
yay! thanks for posting this. i’m so curious to see the chocolate and wine section too, sounds so fun
Great job, it’s truly lovely
[…] put myself out there a little bit in sharing the group blessing I wrote for our ceremony, so thanks so much for everyone’s enthusiastic reception. And, as […]
[…] let me thank those who gave me inspiration. Namely, the incomparable Mrs. Lovebug. Her group blessing won me over big time! I really loved the idea of getting the whole gang involved. Call me crazy, […]
[…] let me thank those who gave me inspiration. Namely, the incomparable Mrs. Lovebug. Her group blessing won me over big time! I really loved the idea of getting the whole gang involved. Call me crazy, […]
[…] both loved the idea of a group blessing, and we took inspiration from the very talented Mrs. Lovebug on some of the […]
