Wedding Blog

Weddings, I realize, are about more than just the bride. Of course there is the oft-overlooked groom to consider, but Mr. Tiramisu almost always graciously takes a backseat when it comes to wedding decisions. This leaves just: the family. Oh yes, just the family.

Before I go on a rant, please let me point out that I love our families. Mr. Tiramisu and I are really blessed to have, all combined, 2 moms, 2 dads, a stepmom, a stepdad, three brothers and four sisters that love us dearly and want to be involved in our wedding. And let me just take the blame right now- I admit I’m a control freak- and no where does it come out more than with planning our wedding. I tend to have a hard time considering any ideas that don’t come from my own little head (or at least stolen by me from someone else!). I have a picture in my head of every aspect of the wedding- from the save-the-dates all the way up until the good night snack. Have a great idea? If it’s not how I pictured it, it’s probably not going to happen (Miss Tiramisu horns sprout!) - or at least that’s how it was in the beginning.

Mr. Tiramisu’s mom has been nothing but excited about the wedding from the moment we got engaged. He’s the first child of five- and first grandchild of eleven- to get married, so actually there is much excitement all around. One of the first sticky issues to arise in the planning process was the rehearsal dinner. Miss Tiramisu’s brain said: “small casual gathering of families and bridal party! relax before the wedding! no pressure! maybe pizza? beer? on the beach? show up in shorts! it will be great!” FMIL Tiramisu’s brain said: “huge welcome party! invite everyone! lobster for all! bring on the champagne! fancy boat cruise? historic mansion? it will be great!”

I gave it some more thought, revisited the whole idea, and gave up a little ground. I had pictured maybe 25 people, but I was conceding to 40. Okay 50. But FMIL Tiramisu wanted to show everyone invited to the wedding a good time. We’re talking 240! In my mind this was a nightmare! No relaxing the night before the wedding! A logistical panic attack waiting to happen!

I couldn’t let go of my carefully conjured mental image long enough to consider the benefits of FMIL-T’s idea. It was Mr. Tiramisu who encouraged me to take a deep breath. We shelved the issue and I tried not to think about it for at least a month. At some point during that time I started to realize that (gasp!) a big welcome party might not be such a bad idea. After all, if Mr. Tiramisu’s parents wanted to pay for such an event, and if it really meant that much to them, why did I want to stand in their way? When else in my life was someone going to offer me a huge party, in my (and my groom’s of course) honor?

Now we’ve got a great party in the works- for an invited 240 guests, and we found a laid back place at which to host it. It’s in a barn - how casual and fun can you get? I can’t lie- if it were up to me I’d probably still be having the small gathering, but the moral of this story is that even the stubbornest of brides and FMILs can compromise.

Have you had to give up anything important (or even not-so important) to you in planning your wedding, or are you standing your ground? All I know is that everyone’s really excited about our rehearsal dinner turned lobster-bake-welcome-dinner, so I should be too!