Wedding Blog
I pretty much spent most of Sunday updating the registry, finalizing our guest list, emailing our wedding coordinator and working on our seating plan/chart.
I was playing around with the version of PerfectTablePlan some of the bees got for free and I must say, I’m glad I got this baby. Otherwise, I would have done it old school drawing circles out with a pen and paper and typing the names out when I finalized everything, or doing it with post-its.
I don’t know what possessed me to think this was going to be easy. It’s actually causing me a lot of anxiety… once again, I’ve bitten my fingers nails to the point where they are going to start hurting if I keep chomping away at them.
I frantically emailed my wedding coordinator at Dreams asking exactly how many people actually fit those round tables and if it was possible to adjust the number to my liking. Would it be weird to have some tables fit 8, 9 and 10? Do you think people will actually notice?
I’ve pondered over the idea of a head table in passing, but now that I’m actually tackling the seat plan, I realize I need to make a final decision. And I can’t! We have about 15 tables when we only have 91 guests rsvp’ed at the moment. That means we have a lot of half-filled tables because I can’t decide which separate groups of people to put together and which split up. Ah, I hate making these decisions.
These are the questions running through my mind:
Do we want a head table? (We ruled out a sweetheart table because we don’t want all the attention)
Do we want to sit with the bridal party? (Problem is we have a bridal part of 11 people and 1 significant other) Would a 14 person head table seem like too much?
Do we want to sit with our family? If so, do we merge the families or have them sit with their respective sides?
And it goes on and on…..
Why oh why can’t people come in perfect groups of 10!?!?
Maybe we should have a free for all and no seating plan? I mean it is a buffet after all. (My venue only does sit down for groups of 20 or less) But that would be weird too right?
Man~ I don’t think I can work on this seating plan anymore (at least for now). Frankly, I’m scared to.
Any suggestions? Did working on your seating plan turn out to be a lot more stressful than you thought it would be?
|
Share this post: Seating Plan = Unforeseen Stress
Best wedding decision I made - no seating plan. I had a lovely sign encouraging people to sit where they’d like, mingle throughout the evening, and make new friends. I did reserve a central table (not head so much as central to the room and near the dance floor) for bridal party and direct family. A “head table” of sorts. It was irregularly shaped in a rectangle where most other tables were circular. I also reserved a few circle tables right around it for significant others of the bridal party and other close family (aunts, uncles, etc). I didn’t give them seating charts or anything, but I did put a reserved sign on the table and then informed them all in person at the rehearsal dinner where they’d be.
In the end, people sat together that felt comfortable together and they also mingled and made new friends! Yay! People that I would have never imagined together found each other and had a blast!! My dad’s business friend sitting with my post-college best friend? Totally wouldn’t have expected it - they danced the night away! Wouldn’t have been something I would have done.
I also let the wedding coordinator help people find seats if they were looking a little lost. She was great! If you go this route, have someone be that touch person who helps people get seated if they’re simply lost without an escort card. I think most people are able to seat themselves. If you’re worried about someone in particular, just give them a heads up and have someone scoop them up that you think they’ll enjoy talking to.
I’ve asked friends since then and they all thought it was a great way to make it feel a little less stuffy and it was fun for them. None of them thought it was too weird. Plus, I saved time and money on escort cards/setup/table/etc. (Never mind the pulling of hair trying to figure everyone out!)
Usually 5′ tables are for 8-10 and 6′ tables for 10-12. See:
http://www.perfecttableplan.com/html/table_size__shape_and_layout.html
14 people at the head table is quite a lot. Why don’t you ask the parents to ‘host’ their own tables (next to the head table)?
I don’t think it is weird to have tables of different sizes, as long as they aren’t too different in size.
I would suggest:
-adding your guests and their seating preferences into PerfectTablePlan
-create a seating plan with 8 seat tables and a head table
-drag your head table guests into place and lock them
-click on the auto assign and let PerfectTablePlan do the seating
Then:
-’save as’ to a new plan
-change the tables to 10 seats
-re-run the auto assign.
See which arrangement works out best.
Good luck! I’m sure it will work out fine.
i’d suggest a free for all.
Reserve tables for you 2, your bridal party and immediate family and then let the guests have at it.
the way it was explained to me was, people only sit where you put them for the actual dinner. Right after that they are up to mingle with the people they know.
No sense in stressing over a seat that they will be sitting in for such a small portion of the day……
We decided to go with free-for-all seating (for our ~140 guests, at an evening wedding with a stations-style meal), after really enjoying that “strategy” at two weddings we attending while we were planning our own. Out of all our attendees, there were only a couple who didn’t know a significant number of other guests, and they were also invited to bring dates, so we didn’t worry too much about people having no one to talk to.
We had a fairly elegant setting, but wanted a laid-back feel to the reception, so I think the “sit where you want” tactic worked.
The only one who had a problem with it was my grandmother, but she was somewhat mollified by the fact that we put up signs on a few choice tables that said “reserved for family.”
I don’t think there is anything wrong with having tables of 8, 9, or 10. Actually, I don’t how you can avoid it.
An open seating plan is only a good option if you have more than enough room to set up 2-3 additional tables. While giving the people the option to sit with whomever and where ever they’d like is nice, without a seating chart, you will definitely have tables w/ empty seats.
One of my girlfriends tried this at her wedding and it was a disaster. Example, her aunts and uncles sat together in a group of nine, one empty seat at their table. Her husband’s work crowd was a group of 7, 3 empty seats at their table. Also, she had exactly enough favors for the guests, but because there were extra tables, there was not enough for every place setting.
Our head table is 14! They are doing it as a long, rectangular table. I saw the set-up last weekend and it looks great. All the other tables (except for the cake table) are 8-person rounds, and I considered doing two 7-person head-tables, but the politics of his family are insane. So we will have one long table (seating all around, so actually only 6 people long which isn’t bad). The florist will do three centerpieces to be spaced along the table. The placement our coordinator recommended is in the middle of the room along one side, rather than at either end, so that we are sort of centrally located for people to come by and say hello if they like, and also so that we just across the room from the cake table, which sort of echoes the set-up of the head table (although about half as long).
Our seating plan was open to the point where you were directed to a table and you could sit anywhere you wanted.
We too had varying numbers of people assigned to each table, we took into account who knew each other and whether there were children..likely the higher number of ppl per table had a child so the spacing wasn’t too bad.
We had 6′ round tables.
I know it’s tough and stressful, but your guests will be happier for it if you can manage to assign everyone to a table. It’s chaos otherwise, even with reserved seating for a select group — invariably, those “select” people forget that they are VIPs and sit somewhere else anyway. At my FBIL’s wedding, that person was his mother. And, as the best man’s girlfriend, I was not a VIP, didn’t know anyone there — outside of the bridal party — so had to invite myself to sit with a bunch of strangers.
I agree with the suggestion of the two sets of parents hosting their own table (perhaps with other relatives of their age, e.g. aunts and uncles) - which should leave a table of 10 for the rest of the bridal party, yes?
As for the other tables, think about who you really want to be able to sit together first, and then deal with the ‘less important’ arrangements. And try fitting people into ‘groups’, e.g. school friends, his friends, people from work etc … might make it easier
Oh, and I would definitely say to at least assign tables … think about it - however stressful the table plan is, better to have that stress now, then everyone being stressed on the day itself!
I was freaking out about the seating plan in the last few weeks. Hardly anyone RSVP’d and finding seats for people you don’t know are coming is tough. My guy gave me a hug and said I didn’t need to do it. Well, that was all I needed and out the window the seating chart went. We did reserve a middle table for me, my guy and our two attendants. Then we set aside a table for the vendors. Other than that, guests figured out how to reserve their own seats with the favors we had (each favor had the names of our guests).
At a meeting I went to a few months ago, we didn’t have specific places to sit, but each guest had a table. Say for instance, I walk in and get a card saying Table 2, I would just find my own seat at Table 2 and so would the seven other people at that table.
I’m so glad someone posted about this, because I was unsure of what I was going to do. We are most likely having a buffet, and every wedding I’ve ever been to has had free seating. However, I just love the idea of having assigned seating. I’ve already had one friend say that we HAD to assign seats…but my mom on the other hand says not to. I don’t want to end up with empty tables. I think I like the idea of just assigning people to tables and letting them choose which seat to take.
i use weddingwire seating chart which works really well and best of all free! yes i know.. i have a few tables here and there missing a person or two.. hopefully it’ll come out well at the end..
Obviously, as a vendor of seating planner software, I’m biased. But an independent survey showed that 84% of guests prefer assigned seats or tables:
http://www.perfecttableplan.com/html/assigned_seating.html
As a frequent wedding guest I beg of you…make a plan. Don’t make me chose. Cause I’m always in the bar area and wait to get my food last and then I don’t have anywhere to sit cause Aunt Sally is saving a seat for Cousin Tom, but Cousin Tom is already sitting at another table. Please? Make a plan!
After doing lots and lots of events with assigned seating for a company I used to work for, I’ll tell you that it’s rare that every single table have the exact same number of seats. No one will notice whatsoever - so long as you don’t have a REALLY odd sparsity.
You can always nix the seating chart - it’s honestly not necessary. 
Do not, I repeat DO NOT do a free for all! Sorry, but this is the one thing about receptions I feel the most strongly about… I have been to 3 weddings in the past year that have done the free for all and all 3 times we ended up @ the outcast table. Know that your guest know you will be taking pictures after the ceremony and there will be a cocktail hour… we took our time getting to the reception (and one time got lost) and ended up at the back table w/ at the table of misfit toys (as I like to call it).
As a guest I felt like the Bride and Groom didn’t care about their guests, who , have bought presents and in some cases traveled from out of town and are paying for a hotel.
My FI and I have already decided that we are most definitely having assigned seating b/c it takes the stress away from our guests and shows them that we took the time to make sure they had a good time @ our reception.
That being said try not to stress too much about where you put them… put ppl in the same age group together or friends… I also think it is perfectly acceptable to have different #s of ppl at table 8,9 or 10.
I haven’t used the program yet but it looks like a lot of the ladies had suggestions on how to make the software work better for you.
I’m sorry if this sounded mean, it was not my intention… I just really wanted to talk you out of free for all seating.
I only went to one wedding with an open seating plan. Even though we knew a lot of people there, it was terribly awkward walking around looking for 2 empty seats.
I was faced with a similar dilemma regarding the head table. We did not want a sweetheart table either. We have a total of 20 (bridal party and significant others) at our head table. Instead of having everyone sit on one side with the bride and groom in the center, our bridal party will sit around the table with my husband-to-be and me at the head of the table. We are putting 6 rectangular tables together in 3 rows of 2. I hope this makes sense. When my planner explained it to me I couldn’t picture it either. The head table will be in the center of the room and the round tables will surround it with the dance floor in the front. I know it makes for a “wide” table but I was sold when I figured out the amazing tablescapes you could do.
I also agree with the above comments about not doing free-for-all seating. In my experience, my fiance and I end up awkwardly looking for a place to sit. It depends on your crowd though, if they are well-aquainted or not.
Please no free-for-all. I just typed out a HUGE comment about my rationale, hit the wrong key and deleted it. Short version: FBIL’s wedding, FI at head table, me by myself, didn’t know anyone but his parents who got caught up talking and decided to stay where they were for dinner instead of coming back, ended up as the only person sitting at a 10 person table ON MY BIRTHDAY. ONLY ONE. Every seat was full, except for the ones around me. So traumatic, being the reception leper. There’s always going to be someone left out and feeling awkward- I vote for assigned tables but not seats.
Seating plans are tough… I tried to sit my friends at a table and prayed they all got along… and they did. The problem came with my family- there was a major rift between an uncle of mine and an aunt… like so bad that I wanted to ask him (cause she SOOOO did something nearly unforgivable) if he would be more comfortable at a seperate table from her… so there I was stuck with a now no elders table (all sibs of my mother) and a cousin’s table— then having to mesh them without making it look obvious… and I think it came out well. I just assigned tables, not seats… it was easier that way.
Anyhow— as far as the sweetheart table goes, we did one for the simple fact that it would be a PITA with people and their SO’s and what nots… and we had a small wedding party. Anyhow, people really left us to our own at the table. I was totally surprised actually. We had a little bite to eat and then walked around and said hello to everyone. No one came up to the table while we were eating (we were there like maybe 10-15 minutes max). Our table was tucked in a corner in the front of the room and kind of next to the dance floor… so we could still be a part of the party and have a place to sit our drinks while dancing.
hi, this is bringing me back to those frantic few weeks before our belated wedding banquet. after trying to plan using a dry erase board and post-it notes, i gave in and bought perfect table. it was the best decision and i’m glad that i splurged.
during the last 4 weeks before the banquet, our seating chart changed countless times — thanks to last minute invites, cancellations, and my family’s strong opinions on who should sit where. be patient and expect that your seating chart will change multiple times. i would start a skeleton layout 1.5 months before and finalize once you get all the rsvp’s in. otherwise, you’ll go bananas spending cycles adjusting and readjusting.
i really did wish we could have had a free for all but we had ~300 guests and it was a full sit 8-12 people sitting. thankfully the restaurant accommodated by giving us larger round tables for the 12-people table. as for our head table, we opted to sit with both our families, my side sitting near me and my groom’s immediate family sitting on his side. it looked goofy since my family is much bigger than his and we had an odd number (11). despite it all, the restaurant came through and no one thought it was odd. we nixed the sweetheart table for the same reason - we didn’t want all the attention.
[...] a few other bees, I am using the Perfect Table Plan software to assign seats and lay out the room for the reception. [...]
[...] was Perfect Table Plan, available from Oryx Digital Ltd. It’s been positively reviewed many brides, and is currently available online for $29.95 US. Perfect Table Plan runs on both Windows [...]
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Lovebird, New York/Cancun
Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Medical Student
Engagement Date: September 22, 2006
Wedding Date: July, 2008
Venue: Dreams Cancun Resort & Spa
About Me: Born and raised New Yorker planning a destination wedding in Cancun, Mexico and a traditional Chinese banquet in New York City. Got proposed to in Cancun, so it’s only fitting we are going back to get married. I love trivia, board games, bargain shopping, asian dramas and eating yummy food!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics