We Still Want To Be Married On Our Honeymoon
April 24th, 2008 @ 9:32 am by Mrs. Gingerbread
Miss GB 2.0 and I will be postponing our honeymoon for a while so that a) we can spend time with our out-of-town guests and b) so that we can replenish the coffers and afford it. This also gives us some extra time to plan where we want to go. One major consideration for us is wanting to be recognized as married on our honeymoon!
A married couple from the Netherlands that we are friends with was traveling back to see family in the U.S. When these women went up to the customs counter together, the customs officials questioned them asking “Are you related?” They said, “We’re married.” He said, “In what country? Do you have your marriage certificate?” This couple is legally married in the Netherlands, but who travels with their marriage certificate?!
This is exactly the sort of thing that I don’t want to deal with ON MY HONEYMOON! I realize that in my non-honeymooning life, I’ll just have to deal. But I’d like to be starry-eyed, happy in love during my honeymoon without having to be disrupted by whipping out our marriage license to prove our legality. I figure that this really limits us to countries that have legalized same-sex marriage, like the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain or South Africa. Or we could always just stay in Canada.
Now we could be a little more flexible, and just deal with the fact that most places on earth will not recognize us as married. However, I absolutely refuse to honeymoon anywhere that considers homosexuality a punishable crime - or where there are high number of anti-gay hate crimes. Hmm, I guess Jamaica, which Time magazine calls the “most homophobic country on earth” is out. This travel website cautions “Jamaica is an adamantly homophobic nation. Homosexual intercourse between men is illegal, and anti-gay hysteria is a staple of musical lyrics. Homosexuality is a subject that evokes extreme reactions among Jamaicans, and it is difficult to hold a serious discussion on the topic. Most Jamaican gays are still in the closet.” But then goes on to say, “Nonetheless, many hoteliers are gay or gay-tolerant, and you should not be put off from visiting the island. Just don’t expect to be able to display your sexuality openly without an adverse reaction.” Uh, no thanks!*
We’d like to lay in the sun (wearing sunscreen, of course!) on a beach for our honeymoon, which will likely take place in the winter. I guess this leaves out the Netherlands, Belgium, and Canada. What about Spain and South Africa? Are any of you planning to honeymoon there?
* I don’t mean to be flippant about this. A lot of gay people live in rampantly homophobic countries that I have the privilege of choosing not to visit.
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41 Responses to “We Still Want To Be Married On Our Honeymoon”
We considered Spain as one of our primary options. It’s beautiful, the food is amazing, there is history and culture everywhere…definitely give it a look!
Ok, this probably wont be any good for your winter sun honeymoon, but if you did want to stay in Canada, Middle Beach Lodge in Tofino (Vancouver Island) is luvvvverly, and very romantic.
Suitable for a mini-moon maybe?
Hi Miss Gingerbread!
This has to do with your last post, on the bra, but I wasn’t sure if you would still see the comments since it was a past post.
Anyways….I just got the new InStyle Weddings magazine, and they had a whole article on what bra goes with what dress. I have the same problem as you, needing a low back strapless bra, and they had the perfect bra!! (although I haven’t made it to the store yet- so I don’t know if it fits as )
As a previous commenter mentioned, Malaga is absolutely gorgeous–the whole stretch of the Costal del Sol is amazing, really. Even more amazing is that it can be had at a rather affordable price. We went through Expedia to book ours, and all told we spent $700 each on airfare and hotel, and honestly, the airfare was the expensive part–we stayed at an amazing hotel suite (marble floors! Two balconies!) for very little money. We went in the beginning of March to save money, and while it wasn’t quite beach weather, it was pretty close to it, so I’m sure even if you waited until April, you’ll be able to still get a good deal before the high season kicks in.
We’re planning on taking a belated honeymoon to South Africa in November. My fiance went there a few years ago and loved it. We’ve both been to other parts of the continent (Ghana for me, and a ton of different countries for him), but I’ve never been to South Africa. From his photos and descriptions of his travels, it sounds both idyllic and an interesting place to visit. We’ll probably stay somewhere on the coast (fly in to Port Elizabeth).
Oh, I vote for Spain!
My future in-laws have been to South Africa and they absolutely loved it there. It’s a beautiful country and the people are incredibly friendly. The in-laws only had wonderful things to say about their trip.
Canary or Balaeric Islands? They’re Spain but since further south the weather will be warmer in winter than the mainland. Canaries are significantly further south (closer to western Morocco really) so they’d probably be warmer than Balaeric. I studied abroad in Spain a number of years ago in a fall semester and towards the end (Nov/Dec) it got pretty chilly even on the southern end of Spain like around Cadiz. If you do Spain and want semi-beach weather, I’d recommend the islands. I think the Canaries range between low to high 70s most of the year.
Mrs. Bee and I honeymooned in Barcelona and the south of Spain!
http://www.weddingbee.com/2005/03/23/our-honeymoon/
I really loved the architecture in Barcelona… it was amazing.
We’re going to Malaga, Spain next month and I hear it’s beautiful. So far, what I hear, is that it’s worth the trip. The train system in Spain is great, too. Easy to get around.
Weather in S. Africa is best around December (e.g. Christmas time). I’d suggest it 
Go with South Africa! It’s an amazing country. National parks full of beautiful animals and wine country, beaches, etc. What more could you ask for.
@Mr. Bee: I’m terrified of flying, but those pictures are mighty persuasive! I would love to visit Barcelona.
I studied abroad in Barcelona for Law School and I took a Family Law class at the Barcelona Law School , this was the same month that Spain legalized same sex marriage, so it was the main focus of the class. Generally Spain is very open and embraces same sex couples and Barcelona is my #1 favorite country of all that I have visited. I think it would be PERFECT for your honeymoon!!! There is so much to do and see and the beaches are incredible. The water even has little flecks of gold!!!
Oh I think Spain would be so wonderful! I definitely want to go there. If you had asked me what the most homophobic country is, Jamaica would probably not have made my first 30 guesses. Very interesting, thanks.
What about a cruise? I’ve been on several to tropical climes that were very romantic. I didn’t take a survey or anything, but I do remember same-sex couples.
Well, is you want a cruise, there’s always Olivia cruises.
I’m glad you wrote about this, because I think it’s something most people don’t even think about.
We’re going to an all-female resort in Key West for our honeymoon, because that way we know we won’t be dealing with any homophobia, even if we might outside of the resort.
I will put in another vote for Spain, which is lovely. I especially like Barcelona.
I went to Spain in December. We were on the southern part. You may not find homophobia but you will find a TON of ham. If you’re vegetarian or vegan, forget it as they really don’t grasp that concept from what we found. I took a day trip to Malaga and it was beautiful, we also went to some of the larger cities and enjoyed more tapas than I ever want to eat again! It was fun, but still chilly and definitely not beach weather. What was fun is that we went to some of the bath houses and it was fabulous!
How ironic that South Africa is now considered a beacon of tolerance. It’s hard to believe that much apartheid could be undone in 12 years.
Thanks for all the input! I was feeling a bit bummed after writing this, but now I’m feeling pumped! Time to start reading travel books to get a better sense of what’s out there. Keep the recommendations and advice coming. I’m taking notes!
love Costa del Sol in Spain– i haven’t been in years, but esp. loved Nerja: http://www.nerja.org/turismo_ing/index.php
as for Jamaica (and a few of the Caribbean islands), i would highly advise watching the (awesome) Rosie cruise movie before going there. some of the intolerance is really disheartening (not to say that most or even many of the Caribbean people agree with the intolerant sentiment).
Miss GB, I’m headed to south africa for my honeymoon! Pass me a message if you want to chat about it! I’ve done gobbs of research!
N, you know I lived in Cape Town for six months, right? Let’s chat about South Africa. I would really recommend Cape Town and some of the areas around there (Simon’s Town, Groot Constancia, etc) for how beautiful they are. I did just want to say that you and GB 2.0 have the benefit of being both queer Asian women. It’s definitely tricky waters to navigate anywhere (race, gender,and sexual orientation), but it’s especially strange in South Africa.
This is definitely not to dissuage you from going, just things to consider! You know me and the boy are planning on going in 2010 for the World’s Cup, do or die.
@Miss Gingerbread: You should talk to Mrs. Ant - she did quite a bit of travelling in Sapin, and I believe has blogged about it!
Hey Miss GB,
First off, I love S.A. and lived in Cape Town for four months. There are soo many things to do there, so if you have any questiions let me know as well.
I’ve been thinking about whether or not to answer this post ’cause although I’m not Jamaican, I am from the Caribbean. Just to remind everyone there is vehement intolerance in all countries including the U.S. Ms. GB, one thing I have learned from my family and my interactions with others on my visits to the Caribbean is that ultimately it’s about individual interactions with people. Maybe intolerance is part of some portions of the collective mindset, but it does not speak to how an individual will treat you. I definitely respect your idea to not go to certain places that will not acknowledge your marriage. I think it’s important to spend our resources based on our values. Good luck with choosing a honeymoon spot!
my fi & i visited my sister in south africa last june & wow you just have to go there. barcelona is gorgeous too. but s.a…. whoa. we started in cape town a while which is amazing in itsself, then traveled by car (’opposite’ side driving w your sig other- if you can do this together you can do anything!) along the “garden route” which is along the southern coast. we stopped in tree filled small towns and vineyards, cruised thru endless rolling farmlands, crossed a gorgeous mountain range with visible wildlife & then thru an amazing desert- all in one day. we stayed in oudtshorn (best food & adventure tours like riding ostrich!) then went to knyssna & grahamstown. we did a guided day safari in the elephant park & then drove to Port Eliz to fly back home. because of the flight schedules we ended up w 2 sightseeing days (one on the way there, one on the way back) in london as well! we did the hostel method, so i cant recommend hotels, but really, the trip was amazing, and we didnt even make it up to the “beachy” areas on the south east coast. the only con is that it takes at least twice as long to get there compared to europe, so if you have a limited time frame or dislike long flights, i’d recommend barcelona.
Barcelona is gorgeous, and the architecture and food are fantastic, and the people are very friendly. I was there last year, and had a fantastic time. And the Isles Balears are fantastic - we spent several days in Palma de Mallorca. You’re on the Mediterranean, and the beaches and the water are fantastic. I really highly recommend both places!
Wow - Spain OR South Africa would be amazing! The flight to Spain seems less painful though.
Have you thought about Greece? (I know… one more thing to think about). We’re going there for our honeymoon, and have heard from many other former honeymooners that it’s wonderful. I’ve also heard they are very open to homosexuality. I think they are a popular spot for European gays to vacation.
you should DEF consider spain…the spaniards are super cool with all things sex! 
and of course…spain is a BEAUTIFUL country!
South Africa is a stunningly beautiful and heartbreaking country. I spent five weeks there a few months ago, and my fiance was born there. It was the most amazing trip, and I was 15 feet away from two male wild lions in a private game reserve who luckily were not hungry. : )
All that being said, intolerance and violence of all sorts is still rampant there. I won’t write a book here about the incredibly violent crime that takes place there, but it’s very real. In my five weeks I saw exactly two openly gay couples, both female, and one pair was American (from South Dakota, randomly ran into them in a Cape Town liquor store). Same sex marriage is legal there, but attitudes of the people do not, in my experience, reflect that, judging from some of the comments I overheard about gay men in particular.
This part has nothing to do with your sexuality — if you do choose ZA, stay out of Johannesburg and the surrounding areas. It’s just not safe, period. If you safari, go to a private non-hunting reserve and skip Kruger — you’ll see more animals at closer range in private parks. The beaches in Simonstown (near Cape Town) have little jackass penguins all over them! It’s so cool. The beaches of the Western Cape are gorgeous — little beach towns around George are perfection.
If you’d like more info, please feel free to email me! And congratulations!
I would suggest south africa, I’ve been there twice on holiday. Last time this spring as a pre-wedding moon as we are unable to have one after. We went to cape town.
SA is such a lovely country, the food is amazing, people are very nice, service is good. The country have an amazing history of course that you get to learn more about. And the winerys, coast line, penguins, water…
it’s all fantasticly beatifull. And fairly cheap. I think the rand is 6 7to the Us Dollar..Dont know about the canadian dollar thought
Take a mini-moon to BANFF AND JASPER in Alberta in July/August. Cheap(ish), beautiful, driving distance, and it will be nice to have a trip that close to your wedding. Alpine Village in Jasper is AMAZING (but, book soon because it fills up quickly).
My wife and I just got back from curacao for out honeymoon and loved it. It is part of the dutch antilles so there are a couple of things that are on the plus side. 1 gay marriage is legal so that fills your requirement. 2. mostly dutch visitors so they don’t blink twice at a two woman couple 3 curacao actually is trying to get gay travelers there see gaycuracao.com. We stayed at gay owned kura hulanda lodge. It was amazing!
@sam: You are BRILLIANT! I am in love with the idea of Curacao for our honeymoon! I looked at the website and it was really helpful. The hotel looks fantastic. We are definitely looking into this!!! Thank you
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Don’t know if I’m a bit late to this, but I’m South African and have a few gay friends. None of them have ever experienced any real “hate” reaction, but there are always going to be some idiotic people (men, usually) who make derogatory comments. It’s usually the Afrikaans community who does this, in my experience. I would second what most people said and head for Cape Town! It’s very cosmopolitan and diverse, and people are used to seeing everything. Small towns are where you’d probably encounter stares and comments, or worse. Don’t bother with Johannesburg (ok, it’s not all safe, some is, some isn’t) but it’s not particularly interesting! I know, I’ve lived here all my life 
It has no natural beauty or old buildings or mountains or sea or vineyards or ANYthing! Cape Town, the wine route, the garden route, and up the Eastern Cape coast to Knysna and that area - that is gorgeous.
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Mrs. Gingerbread, Vancouver
Age and Occupation: 32, Psychologist
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Software Engineer
Engagement Date: Sometime in the fall of 2004
Wedding Date: July, 2008
Blogging Since: March 24, 2008
Venue: Rainforest wedding, beachfront restaurant reception
About Me: I recently moved to Canada from Southern California. Trying to plan a wedding in a new city, not to mention a new country, is tough, but the fact that we can get legally married here more than makes up for it! The wedding will be an opportunity for most of our family and friends to see our new city for the first time so it will be both a wedding and a reunion. Besides my future wife, I am also madly in love with a good bargain, Swedish pastries, Tivo, and my two dogs and calico cat (in no particular order).
I studied in Malaga, on the southern coast of Spain for a summer - it was gorgeous, as were the smaller beach towns near by. You should def consider it.