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There will be lots and lots of dancing at our wedding because my whole family loves to bust a move. But there is one dance I’m debating whether we should do… the famous money dance.
” The concept of “Money Dance” is that the male guests pay for the privilege of dancing with the bride, and by extension, female guests pay for the privilege of dancing with the groom. The money is to be used for the bride and groom’s honeymoon or to give them a little extra cash with which to set up housekeeping. ” source
I think the time spent dancing with our guests will be very precious, and the guests who aren’t interested aren’t obliged to participate. On the other hand, I don’t want to seem greedy.
I’m really curious, how many brides-to-be are considering having a money dance at their reception? If you’ve done it, were you happy with the outcome? Were your guests offended by the thought of asking them to dish out some more money?
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I think it depends on your guests and your family/friends. If everyone knows about it and every wedding you’ve ever been to has had one, I think you can get away with it as “part of your culture/tradition.” But if it’s unusual for your area/friends, a lot of people are going to be really confused about why they have to pay to dance with you.
Yikes. Unless it’s embedded in your family’s tradition, I would skip it.
It is definatly part of our tradition and I will be doing it. No “yikes” about it!
I’ve never heard of it so if I were a guest I think I might be offended. BUT if this is the norm for your guests, then go for it if you want to do it! Or at least make sure to explain it in a way that makes it seem special and not just a ploy for money. Maybe if you like it as a cute idea, you could give people monopoly money or some sort of favor they could trade for a dance?
Also, we call it the dollar dance, and traditionally it is just the bride not the groom. I was thinking about having him dance too just to make it go faster, but I am really looking forward to having 30 private seconds with each and every guest. So we will see.
I think it would be ok if done in a tongue in cheek way.
Maybe more like ‘Who wants to dance with the bride and groom?! Donations welcome!’ … with a bowl for people to chuck money into on the way to the dance floor.
That way people can give money if they want to (and the older generation who understand the money dance probably will), but the emphasis is on the dance, not the money.
This is something that my family knows about. The only issue here is that the last couple of weddings, they didnt do it because they were much older (my dad got married)
Its been done in my family before… but since its been a while I’m afraid I will offend people. Maybe I should do a general poll at home to be sure.
i thought it was a fairly normal tradition? i am pretty sure all the weddings i’ve gone to have done it and it was considered normal, not offensive.
but, along the lines of treating your guests as guests and not expecting them to pay for things, i guess it is kinda tacky.
I think it’s a fun idea. I say go for it. It’s not tradition in my culture, so I’m not having one. However, the first time I heard about it was at a friend’s wedding (both the bride and groom’s families are from Mexico). I asked what it was, whipped out my $ and ‘paid’ to dance with the groom, then ‘paid’ to dance with the bride.
At their wedding I would say 1/3 of the guests had no idea what it was. They just asked another guest- no confusion, no pressure. I think the guests that had never heard of it got more of a kick out it than the guests who were expecting it.
At a lot of weddings you barely get to talk to the bride and groom- just a quick hug on the receiving line. However, while you’re dancing they’re all yours! I think it’s a really fun way for your guests to get a minute alone with the bride and/or groom.
In some cultures, this is the norm. In general, though, for the typical American wedding it is considered “rude” and/or “tacky”.
If this is common amongst your friends/family, you can probably get away with it. But be aware that any “outsiders” at your wedding might find it offensive. This is one of those very sensitive/controversial issues, much like putting registry info on invitations or asking for cash in lieu of gifts.
Personally, I’d “just say no” to the money dance. =)
@lou: I like your idea… but I have to find another word than donation - otherwise they will think it will go to the breast cancer foundation (we are giving donations as favors)
I personally would never do this, my friend did it at her wedding though and everyone seemed to think it was normal and participated. I just think it does seem greedy, sorry, why can’t you just dance with them for free?
I would skip it. Personally, I resent the “shake down” for money after I’ve already given the bride and groom a nice gift and likely paid for transportation and lodging to attend the wedidng.
Just a follow-up of how I’ve seen this done:
It’s not like there is a bouncer on the dance floor collecting the money!
The way I’ve seen it done is that people tuck or pin the money to the bride and/or groom. Some guests get really creative- in pockets, on the veil, shaped as a bow-tie, etc.
I REALLY doubt that anyone would be offended. It’s done in a fun, playful manner.
I dunno, one of our friends did it at her wedding and my fiance and I thought it was really tacky. We were already shelling out buku bucks for the flights, the hotel, the gifts, all that stuff to be with them and celebrate their love….and now we have to pay to see the bride for only a few seconds? For those of us who don’t have any money it kinda feels insulting and a little hurtful. On the other hand, the bride made a lot doing it, and maybe getting your richer relatives to donate just a little more is worth it. You are giving a lot to put the whole production on anyway. But I hope our wedding will be more about the romance and love between people, not the money.
I think if you’re worried about offending people, then you know you might offend people, so you shouldn’t do it. Can’t guests dance with you anyway? I think it’s tacky.
Only you know your guests, so only you can tell how it will go down. Maybe when it is announced, make an emphasis on ‘the tradition’ of the dance, for anyone that might not have heard of it.
I think Janna’s idea of a token is a great one, if you wanted to do it for the dance rather than they money. You could have little tokens on the tables at dinner (like Mrs Lovebug’s charity tokens), with a note saying ‘to be traded for dances’.
Personally, I couldn’t do it, because I’d be terrified of being stuck on the dancefloor with no-one willing to pay to dance with me!
p.s. on a completely different note, did anyone see the ‘new look’ weddingbee a minute ago? Me not likey! 
This is the first I’ve heard of it, and it sounds rather offensive.
My sister had it done at her wedding and this is usually not normal in asian cultures, but everyone had fun.. the MOH just mentioned that they’ll be having a little competition to see who raises the most money - the bride or the groom.. I think in the end, it’s always good to just have a few seconds dancing with your guests. It’s not everyday you do this anyways. I’m still debating for mine as well.
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Mrs. Flamingo, Montreal, Canada Age and Occupation: 25, Graphic Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Nursing Student Engagement Date: December 2004 Wedding Date: June 21, 2008 Venue: Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel) About Me: I am a passionate designer who loves anything pretty. I heart all paper products (eco-friendly of course). My passion revolves around anything considered glamour; vintage and modern. In my free time, I love reading Martha mags, designing jewelry and making a pit-stop at Starbucks for a chai latte. I'm also a chocoholic at heart and my family drools over my homemade truffles.
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