Weddingbee Blog

(from “I Enjoy Being a Girl” sung by the incomparable Peggy Lee):

When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curls
I float as the clouds on air do
I enjoy being a girl

When men say I’m cute and funny
And my teeth aren’t teeth but pearls
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!

I flip when a fellow sends me flowers
I drool over dresses made of lace
I talk on the telephone for hours
with a pound and a half of cream upon my face!

I’m strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
who’ll enjoy being a guy, having a girl like me!

I love that song. I sing it in my shower quite regularly! (I sing quite regularly in my shower, period )

I want you to focus in on one of those lines:

“I talk on the telephone for hours
with a pound and a half of cream upon my face!”

Now, lean in a little closer….

…closer…

…too close! Remove your face from my personal bubble please!

…okay, perfect!

At the risk of sounding like a salesperson, a televangelist - or Oprah I’m going to let you in on my biggest, hugest, most spectacular beauty discovery!

Ponds Cold Cream. It has literally saved my face.

When I was a teenager, I went on Accutane (a super-hard core strength acne medicine), which cleared things up amazingly. AMAZINGLY. As I got older, I became plagued by monthly pms-induced spotty episodes - nothing huge, but annoying, especially because:

I am a picker.

I am a scratch-my-face-off-when-stressed out kind of crazy lady.

Will power doesn’t work, neither do those baby hands-off mittens (maybe because they don’t fit…hmmm…I digress), and neither do admonitions from family members and Mr. Shortcake.

“SHORTIE, DON’T SCRATCH!!”

No can do. If I’m stressed, and there is an itty-bitty bump on my face, I will scratch until it is no longer there (leaving me with a gaping wound - logical? I know.)

The only thing that has ever prevented my from scratching, consistently, was having clear skin. Nothing to scratch at = no scratching.

In walked the new love of my life,

Ponds Cold Cream.

Cold cream has been around longer than your grandmother’s grandmother, and probably both of those ladies used it. Ask any good looking, well-kept elderly lady what she uses - most times it will be cold cream.

Ponds cold cream - the original kind, NOT the new “refreshing cold cream” or the “dry skin cold cream” contains seven ingredients. SEVEN.

If my dermatologist (super amazing man, highest paid professional in Vancouver, so I hear) has taught me anything, it is that higher price not only doesn’t mean better quality, it means MORE JUNK.

I started using Pond’s Cold Cream at the beginning of April. I use it twice a day, morning and night. I smooth on a generous layer, massaging it into my skin in gentle circular motions, let it absorb for about 30 seconds (you can do it for longer, if you want), and then GENTLY wipe it off with a warm, wet wash cloth.

Two days later, my skin was ridiculously soft, and CLEAR. My skin had been out of whack after going off of the pill, and it calmed down like a post-tantrum two-year-old offered a lollie.

My skin was SO SOFT that Mr. Shortcake WENT OUT AND BOUGHT TWO TUBS OF COLD CREAM FOR HIMSELF.

MY FIANCE USES POND’S COLD CREAM AND HAS A FACE AS SMOOTH AS A BABY’S BOTTOM!

Cough. Sorry for yelling. Seriously though, Mr. Shortcake’s face is soooooo smooth - and since he has started using the cold cream, the incidence of ingrown hairs post-shaving his neck has dropped down till nill, and we can actually dance cheek-to-cheek without my cheek coming away with a bad case of dancer’s rash!

Seriously. For $10 a pop (CND), it is worth a try. Sister Shortcake has just started using it, and is now telling her friends too!

Don’t believe me? Read and be converted, oh ye of little faith:

The Fedora Lounge
Makeup Alley
Homebasics

DING DONG! SHORTCAKE CALLING!