Wedding Blog
A few of our guests have complained that our wedding is too remote. Well, I guess I can sort of agree with that. The photo above lends some perspective to just where Polebridge is located… and that remote beauty is one of the big reasons we wanted to get married there!
I just can’t concede our wedding is really any harder to get to for our out-of-towners than the average. Of course, we do expect to have a few guests decline to attend our wedding because of the distance. We would probably get the same replies from some of our East Coast and Midwest guests even if we were getting married in Seattle. But it does irk me that a few of our guests assume that our wedding is completely inaccessible because it’s in Montana– even though we’ve provided them with plenty of information to the contrary on our wedding site!
In fact, one of the reasons we decided to get married in Glacier (versus Seattle or the quite inaccessible Orcas Island) is because it really isn’t that hard to get to. Our guests are coming from all around the country, many more of them from Michigan, D.C., Pittsburgh, and Oregon than our home state of Washington. If the majority of our friends and family were located in Seattle, we probably would have more seriously considered having a local wedding.
But planes, trains and automobiles, all of them come right up to Glacier’s door!
Planes!
Glacier is served by Glacier Park International Airport. It’s only about a half-hour to 45 minute drive away, which is about as long as it takes to get from the East Side of Seattle to Sea-Tac airport in medium-heavy traffic.
The GNP Airport isn’t exactly big, but there are direct flights from Seattle, Chicago, Denver, Minneapolis, Salt Lake City, and Atlanta. If there isn’t a direct flight, there’s often only one stop on the way. The only down-side is that it can be pricey flying to GNP. That’s why I’m tracking several flights for my guests on Yapta’s price meter. It lets me know when prices go up or down!
Trains!
Our intrepid guests can travel to the park in old-time luxury on Amtrak’s “pride and joy,” the Empire Builder. Believe me when I say that, as a company, Amtrak has seen better days… but they pour every last penny into keeping the Empire Builder the pinnacle of their PR effort.
With gas prices as high as they are, train travel is more affordable than ever. What’s even more awesome is that tickets to ride the Empire Builder are often offered in Amtrak’s weekly specials for a fraction of the cost. Right now, it’s only $55 for the 15-hour one way ride from Seattle to West Glacier (sleeping car not included).
Yes, the train ride from the East is entirely too long to make it appealing for *almost* any reason except price. But for train buffs and those with the leisure of time, it’s a new and exciting way to see the country!
Automobiles!
Driving from the West is also an option– from Seattle the drive takes about 10 hours and from Portland, approximately 12. We drive every year and it’s almost a rite of passage now. But it’s understandable that many of our guests won’t want to pay for gas or risk falling asleep at the wheel.
But, not to worry, they have cars in Montana too (Gasp!), for rent at both the airport and train station. For those inclined to skip driving altogether, there is, for a fee, a shuttle to the Park.
Once in the park, it’s not even necessary to have a car. Glacier National Park provides a free regular shuttle between major destinations in the park such as Apgar, Lake McDonald Lodge, Logan Pass, and St. Mary as a courtesy to guests. They implemented this program a couple of years ago after realizing it would minimize traffic, emissions, and wear and tear to the (already perilous) Going to the Sun Highway (shown below).
The most “remote” part about our destination wedding is getting from our reserved lodging, at Lake McDonald Lodge and Apgar Village (near the West Entrance) to Polebridge. Polebridge is about a half hour from the lodge, much of it down a bumpy dirt road.
But it’s a dirt road without turns, traffic, or stoplights. That’s way more than I could guarantee for a wedding in Seattle! I can’t imagine how many of our guests would get lost or delayed trying to find a ceremony and/or reception in an unfamiliar city. We’re not even expecting our guests to drive to and from their hotels– we’re offering a schoolbus shuttle both ways!
I want to assuage our guests’ natural hesitancy to travel as much as I can. I hope that I can do so by putting as much of this reassuring information into our invitations as possible. What else should I say or do so that they know that by attending our wedding they won’t be dropping off the face of the planet?
|
Share this post: Is Our Wedding Too Remote?
oh how I understand you. We got married in a tiny non-town in Vermont about 20 minutes from paved road, 3 1/2 hours from Boston, and not really near any trains. We heard a lot about how far away it was, but there was NO better place for us to get married- it was perfect.
We encouraged our friends to carpool and make it a fun trip- which they all did, and we made sure that an aunt or uncle were taking care of grandparents and travelling with them so the grandparents didn’t have to worry about the travel logistics (this was one of the biggest concerns and complaints.)
Though outdoors-stuff was the main reason for our location, we did put together a list of cultural activities, antiques shops and other attractions for people who might have different tastes.
My recommendation would be to have your and your FI’s parents talk to “their” people if they are the one’s fussing and explain that it is a very special place for you two, and though it would mean a great deal to have them there, you understand that it is off the beaten track and might be difficult for them to join you.
Also, just accept that some people will not be able to make the trek, and that will be sad, but you’ll end up with people there who love you, and who are excited to be in Montana. This was hard for us to accept, my husbands oldest friend announced he couldn’t come a month before the wedding, “because it’s just too hard to get to, and plane tickets are so expensive”. We sent out save the dates 9 months ahead of time. It hurt, and we were pissed, but it just happens.
/rant
I often plan events and holiday parties at work, and have learned that any time you’re dealing with a large group of people, there are going to be a certain percentage who aren’t happy with something. If you planned your wedding in the city, there would be people complaining about the traffic and higher cost of everything and parking and how long it took to get across town. With that said, I think the best thing you can do is just provide as much information as possible so people realize that there are a bunch of options for getting around the place. I think it sounds like a lovely destination, and think that most people will totally dig getting away to somewhere so serene!
“I just can’t concede our wedding is really any harder to get to for our out-of-towners than the average.” I disagree with you, but I’m doing the same thing.
I am getting married on a vineyard in Sonoma - which for all of our guests requires a flight across the country to the San Fran area, a rental car, and then a 90 minute drive. I try to justify it (as you have in your email) - but our guests are right - they would have spent less $$ and less hours traveling if you were getting married in Seattle and I was getting married in San Fran. So if “remote” or “harder” are euphemisms for “more expensive” and “takes more time” than our guests are correct.
Instead of trying to convince our guests that our wedding location is just as convenient as anywhere else, I am agreeing with them that it is inconvenient (and say so on the wed website) but I’m telling them they will have a very unique and wonderful experience because of it (and how grateful we are that they are sacrificing their time and money to be at our wedding…)
I also called the airlines and rental car companies and got a group discount for airfare and car rental. The airfare discount won’t help most people (the discount is off rack rates), but it is a gesture showing that we are trying to save them money. We are also providing transportation from the hotel to the venue (also a 30 minute drive like you have)… and we are also throwing a unique event (like you). Our guests, your guests - they are going to have a fabulous, unique experience that they will be grateful for.
So my advice is to be honest with yourself - the venue is less convenient/affordable than if you’d had a city wedding - and just move past it. And then think about all the things that make your wedding “better” because it isn’t convenient.
I agree with enmoore66 above. Your wedding IS going to be harder and more difficult to get to than the average wedding — but as long as you realize that, there is nothing wrong with it. You are planning a wedding that is unique and exciting and so very you (because of that, it is shaping up to be one of my favorite weddings on Weddingbee, even though it is not remotely close to what I would ever do for my own wedding!) and hopefully your guests will realize this and want to attend, but you do have to accept that it is going to take a lot of extra planning and expense for your guests to get there.
For starters, you mention just a very limited number of airports from which you can get a direct flight, and state yourself that it is expensive to fly there. This is a big reason why it is more difficult than most — and why I am getting married in my fiance’s hometown of Philadelphia — it’s a major airport and all my family can fly straight in via direct flight. It’s a REALLY long drive/train trip for guests to get to Montana, and some people may not want to rent a car if they fly in to whatever the closest major airport is. Like I said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with picking a wedding in a remote location, but it is harder on your guests than getting married in a major city. Plus, a lot of people may like the idea of going for a longer amount of time and exploring Seattle and the surrounding areas (thus taking a little vacation and helping to justify the costs) but unless you are an outdoorsy type person, you may not be interested in spending extra days in Glacier National Park (case in point — my family would be thrilled with this opportunity, my fiance’s family would rather shoot themselves in the foot than do anything which requires hiking outside).
It’s just important for you to accept the increased difficulties at attending and not be upset if people choose not to come. I had a very close friend get married in Hood River, Oregon on a Sunday afternoon. Both her and her fiance are from the east coast, but they love that area, so they decided to have their wedding there. I was unable to attend — the next morning I had my first exam of graduate school, and in order to catch a flight back to DC, I would have had to leave 15 minutes after the reception started. Plus, Hood River is quite a drive from the nearest airport — and living in DC, I hadn’t driven a car in 4 years at that point, was 21 so rental car premiums would be through the roof, and certainly was not going to find someone else to carpool with that was willing to leave immediately following the ceremony and skip the reception. She still, four years later, has yet to forgive me or about 15 of her other friends for missing her wedding, completely oblivious to the extreme challenges and expense of trying to get to the area and the hassle of a Sunday afternoon wedding across the country.
I think it must all be perspective. I was born and raised in CO and now live in WY, it takes a lot to get anywhere but I never think twice about it. On the other hand, my sister will be in Boston this summer and I said ‘Oh hey, that’s super close to NY! You can go there all the time!’ She looked at me like I’m crazy. Apparently I have no concept of traffic.
For me, driving a hundred miles is nothing. It only takes an hour and a half! Traveling back east where that same 100 miles would take several hours (I’m guessing, I really have no idea), THAT for me is inconvenient.
I’d guess for most of your guests it’s that unknown that is so daunting. They just need to understand it will be well worth it and probably one of the best weddings they have ever gone or will ever go to. Stick with it and remember it’s impossible to please everyone.
I think people are just crazy! I grew up in the country, where the nearest stores and gas stations were a 20 minute drive away. My fiance grew up in a town where you could walk just about anywhere you need to go. Our wedding is about 35 miles from his hometown, and it may as well be in Indonesia the way everyone is acting. It is your day and the important people will be there. Just remember that! The important time is after the wedding, when you are actually married.
See, I am a born, bred, eventually dead Rhode Islander. Fifteen minutes is a pain in the ass to drive…which is absolutely ridiculous.
That said, enjoy your wedding in your chosen location, Ms. Cherry Pie! A lot of love has gone into it, and unfortunately the reality of life includes stubborn people, cheap people, people with strict schedules, etc– don’t let that stop you!
I don’t know Miss Cherry Pie, you have me pretty convinced that it is accessible. Our wedding is in the heart of the city and I think that is even more difficult than the middle of nowhere. i think people will be reassured by your suggestions.
Hey, some may not be able to attend, or may prefer to give you their well wishes once you return back home…but it’s YOUR wedding and I think your event location has sooo much personality in it! I think you’ve given them all a lot of great options to make it easy - so I think that’s all you can do!
Yikes! I do agree that your location is GORGEOUS! but in all honesty I would have to convince myself that destination weddings are more than sandy beaches and blue water…maybe that’s what your guests need to learn to picture too…I mean…I’ll be spending a bunch of $$$ to go see rocks and trees???….
that said…if I loved you (family or friend) I would try to make it!
I have to agree with enmoore and julieulie. And let me first say that I would love to spend a week in almost any national park. But obviously there are a lot of people, and you have probably invited some of them to your wedding, who really don’t like flying puddle jumpers, who really don’t want to drive on dirt roads, who would seriously rather drive a rental car than take a shuttle bus, and for whom walking across the street from their hotel to Starbucks is a hike. Seattle-ites tend to be fairly outdoorsy in general, and it sounds like you and your FI are very much so, but not everyone is. And thank heavens, or the national parks would be way more overrun than they already are. Let’s face it - what the people from D.C. and Pittsburgh mean when they say your wedding is “too remote” is that its out in the sticks. And it pretty much is. You shouldn’t waste your time trying to convince people otherwise, because in fact they are right - there is no major metropolitan area near your venue of choice. And for anyone who decides not to attend because of that, all the information about flight schedules and shuttle buses in the world is not going to convince them.
You really just have to face the fact that a great many people in fact do not love the idea of a week, or even a weekend in the national park. That’s okay. Not everybody has to be as thrilled with your choice of location as you are. I know it’s disappointing, because you are obviously excited to share this place that you love with your guests. And a few of them are going to love it too, and a few more will really like it, and the majority of them will never come back. Odds are that almost none of them are going to develop the personal relationship with the area that you clearly have. I hate to sound so negative, but the sooner you realize that everyone probably won’t (and doesn’t have to) love the park the way you do, the less disappointed you will be.
My FI and I are getting married in the Catskill Mountains of upstate NY. Like Ms. CherryPie, I have deep connections to the area as my family has a cabin there where I spend as much time as I can. It’s only about 3 hours north of NYC, but because it’s withing the confines of the Catskill Park, there is no cell phone reception (too mountainous and the park doesn’t allow cell phone towers to be erected on top of the mountains).
Again, 3 hours from NYC and we have guests who are thinking about not coming because they won’ t have cell phone reception and the room lack TV and AC!
Some people are just really afraid to move out of their comfort zone. While I would like everyone to be there, I’m not going to spend my time convincing them. It’s their loss.
I agree with PP — your wedding is remote, but, it will be more memorable and unique for the guests who attend the wedding. It is not fair that people are complaining about the distance to you or your family. I just don’t understand why some guests feel it is their right to complain about your wedding day. If they think it is too much hassle, they need to decide whether or not they will come and keep it to themselves.
The people who make the journey will leave you with an intimate, special day full of the closest family and friends. Just don’t hold a grudge against the people who don’t come, because IMO, the location is kind of remote.
Your wedding will be so special and unique, it will be a trip of a lifetime for the special guests who make the trek to be with you and Mr. CP on your wedding day. For years to come, they will remember it so much more than just another wedding at “that place on Orcas island,” or “some hotel in Seattle.”
You know, I think what bothers me isn’t that people won’t be able to make it due to cost or time– I understand that completely. What bothers me is that they have the gall to whine about it. If they can’t come, they can’t come and it’s OK!
I know it doesn’t work for everyone. In fact, I’m glad it doesn’t because it means we save some moolah by accommodating fewer people.
But to complain about it! (Irony of ironies, one of our complainers had a part in organizing a VERY inconvenient wedding which it was expected that we all attend just two summers ago.)
I think it’s a matter of complainers being complainers, and people would probably grumble about parking and traffic and the difficulty of finding places in Seattle if we were to get married here.
I do hope they like Glacier, but I know it’s just trees and rocks and bugs and bears to some people. Those are the people who we probably won’t miss as much if they stay at home anyway. 
I suggest you tell them that for the weekend they can drop off the face of the planet. Doesn’t that sound great? I would love to just disappear for a couple of days! Make your wedding a weekend of good food, good company, good entertainment and worry free for your guests.
Now if your guests are actually more concerned about cost than remoteness that may be a different story.
Haha clementine - I guess you are saying that Glacier is like the ultimate vacation from the rest of the world - but for a minute I thought you had coined a really creative but polite expression for “Go to H*ll!”
Miss CP - you’re right - some people will find something to complain about no matter what. And often they are the kind of people who just don’t like any situation where the world doesn’t revolve around them. I think that there will probably be guests who can’t come because of money or time, but perhaps those guests wouldn’t have been able to find the money or time to get to Seattle either. The people who do show up should mostly be your kind of people - the kind who will embrace the experience and have a good time (cross your fingers) rather than complaining about the lack of big city amenities. As for the complainers - they can drop off the planet! You won’t even be thinking about them on your special day.
I think it’s partly the “Montana” attached to the name. No one, including my parents wanted to visit me when I lived in Bozeman. Yet it’s one fot he best destinations. Pretty much every kind of outdoor sport is available in Bozeman and the surrounding area (execept ocean related items). From skining and hiking to horseback riding and rodeo. Some of the best fly fishing and white water rafting are in the area and the views cannot be beat.
We are having our wedding in my rural home town, about 4 hours from where my FI and I live. His entire family and all of his friends are from this area. The see northwestern Connecticut as the back of beyond (it doesn;t helop that my FI keeps telling them it’s hickville). The funny thing is it has things like the Yale Music School summer orchestra in residence and the more likely to meet a movie star walking down the street in one of the local towns than in NYC.
complaining about the remoteness may just be a way for people to say — it’s a bit expensive and takes a lot more brain work to wrap our heads around getting out there than for most other weddings we’ve attended.
For example, we live in DC and if it were up to me, we’d be vacationing in LA or NYC instead of going to Yellowstone (where we are going) because flights are cheaper and there are more direct options, rental cars are cheap and easy to find, we have friends/family we can stay with and/or meet up with for dinner and food, and there are a plethorea of hotels (ie “deals” to be had).
But as noted above, we are going to yellowstone for our vacation because it is “remote” and we’d enjoy the time out in the country. Your guests may be concerned about the above factors and also because it’s something different from the usual gala at a hotel, downtown, any city. Perhaps you could help make them feel more comfortable by simply saying: “what can I do to help make it easier for you?” and letting them guide the way…
Miss Cherry Pie - I just read your 10:07PM post and I hear you completely. Complainers will be complainers and the hypocritical ones should be ignored, post haste.
As someone who is planning to go to Ms. & Mr. CP’s wedding, I applaud them. I wonder if a lot of their guests have been to a remote place like those they may travel through to get to Glacier. The country is very different out here, and it is sure to be an adventure. I could look at the Cherry Pies’ wedding and say it’s too far away, or that it’s at a really bad time of year for me and mine (2 weeks after our classes start)… or I could look at it as 1) a road-trip adventure and 2) a much needed vacation I’m being forced to take, where I’ll see dozens of my good friends and perhaps make new ones.
It’s gonna be an awesome wedding, Miss CP, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. (On the flipside, I think *if* I get married and *if* I do it in my home locale, I will get just as much or more flack for making everyone come to me. You just can’t win when it comes to pleasing everyone. You have to please yourselves, and by doing that you’ll surely treat those who join you to a magical and memorable experience!!!
Hang in there — you’re just going to have to turn a deaf ear to the whiners, and take heart that many more are excited about the trip and you’re doing everything you can to make it easy for them.
We have our fair share too — we’re getting married on the college campus where we met, which is 90 minutes from the nearest city/airport and at least a 3 hr drive for most guests who aren’t flying. But, clearly, the location is meaninful to us (and our friends who are also alumni!) and, like you, most of our guests would have had to travel anywhere we chose to get married. At least this way, we can afford to throw a great party! Would not have been the case in our big city residence.
One thing that helped for us — creating a map that showed the nearest airport and big cities in proximity to the wedding location. You can create it in such a way that makes everything look close 
If it bothers people, they don’t have to come. Really. All you can do is be the best hostess you can for the folks who care enough to make the trip.
I won’t argue about the remoteness of it- one way or the other. But I have been to Glacier and I would have to say it is definitively one of the most gorgeous spots on earth and certainly a national treasure. I hope most of your guests will see this as an opportunity to explore this amazing park. But if not, it is their loss.
Is it a bit more remote than normal? Probably - but with a country the size of the US, it was always going to be remote for someone.
We’re getting enough stick for planning our wedding in a town that is less than 30mins outside of London, just because it’s not where mt family live (not that any of them live in the same town). The place has loads of hotels, and its own train station and tube station for crissakes!
The most you can do is provide your guests with enough information of how to get to the area (flights etc), and where to stay, and then provide some way for them to get from the hotel to the wedding venue and back again. It sounds as if you’re already planning on doing this anyway, so you can relax.
If I’m going to a wedding, I assume that I’ll have to sort out some kind of transport, and possibly a hotel. I may ask the couple for information on this if need be, but mostly I sort it out myself - I am an adult and they have enough to do!
If people ask about it, just say that you know it’s a bit out of the way, but it’s not actually as hard as some people think, and then let them know that you’re going to be sending out information to help.
But people actually complaining … that’s disgusting bahaviour. You’re not even leaving mainland USA! If they can’t make it, then fine … but they shouldn’t complain about it. And anyone that really knows you and cares about you will know how important Glacier is to you.
I feel you on the issue of “remote”. We originally wanted to get married in a more remote/further from the airport locale in Colorado, but were talked out of it because of the same issue. However, I saw embrace it; the remote locale is what drew you to your spot! For those guests who are lucky enough to make it, this very factor will be one that will make your wedding stand apart.
As someone who got married in Italy, albeit with only 16 close family members and Italian friends in attendance, I can relate to the PITA for guests factor. My poor dad could only come for the weekend! But he did so gladly b/c he knew how much having the ceremony (not even the LEGAL one) there meant to us and what it symbolized for us as a couple.
I’m sure 99% of the complainers just wish they could be a part of your day and are frustrated that time or finances prevent that. Or they have a deep-seated fear of bears.
Oh, and THANK YOU Cherry for sharing Yapta! I’d never heard of it and we are trying to find a good deal (hah! at $120 a barrel for gas, I know) on a flight to Boston this summer (for a wedding, of course!)
Hi Miss Cherry Pie! I’ll be quick: It is remote and you should accept that. Some friends/family won’t be able to make it even though they would have liked to. They definitely should not complain however. My fiance and I considered getting married in Montana (UM’s his alma mater, and he worked as a forester around Glacier), but we decided on Hood River. He lives in southern WA, I live in SF, our families are in OK, CO, and TX, and our friends are scattered around the country and the globe, so anywhere would have been a trek for some. Hood River is a place dear to both of us that we’d like to make our home at some point. We accepted from the beginning that many would not be able to make the wedding. We’ve been pleasantly surprised by some whom we thought wouldn’t come, but are, even two from Ireland and one from Denmark, and saddened by others who could much more easily get there, but aren’t. For those that complain, you really just need to tune them out, but also be understanding. As for your wedding - I think it sounds amazing! It’s exactly the kind of wedding my fiance and I would jump at the chance to attend. But our first date was a weekend drive from Portland to Missoula (10 hrs) and back!
I am a WHINER! So, not gonna lie, I would whine But I would also attend, and LOVE ITTTTT! The experience alone and the fact that I’d probably have never traveled to such a place if it werent for you guys getting married is enough excuse for me to get over the whineyness. The fact that the locale means so much to you and Mr. CP says it all. Its not a “random remote” place, its an incredibly meaningful place to you, and you shouldn’t feel the slightest bit guilty about that…provide as much info on how to get there, and maybe some cost cutting tips on your website (like PP’s have said) and you’ve got yourself covered!
[...] I mentioned in my post about the remoteness of our wedding, Mr. Cherry Pie and I have decided to rent a few vehicles to to shuttle guests from the hotels to [...]
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Miss Cherry Pie, Seattle/Polebridge, Montana
Age and Occupation: 25, Marketing Communications Specialist
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Nurse Practitioner
Engagement Date: August 26, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: April 1, 2008
Venue: A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
About Me: I think of life as a journey and I love the places it's taking me! I went to school to study Magazine Journalism, ended up with a second major in Japanese language, and now work at a company that makes software for libraries. I love writing, computers, photography, and the great outdoors. I spend most of my time playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band or geeking out online with Mr. Cherry Pie. I'm happiest when I'm on the road, especially traveling abroad, or just nesting quietly at home with my sweetie, who is a fabulous cook and bakes a delicious rendition of a certain cherry-filled dessert!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics