Miss Gingerbread, Vancouver
Age and Occupation: 32, Psychologist
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Software Engineer
Engagement Date: Sometime in the fall of 2004
Wedding Date: July, 2008
Blogging Since: March 24, 2008
Venue: Rainforest wedding, beachfront restaurant reception
About Me: I recently moved to Canada from Southern California. Trying to plan a wedding in a new city, not to mention a new country, is tough, but the fact that we can get legally married here more than makes up for it! The wedding will be an opportunity for most of our family and friends to see our new city for the first time so it will be both a wedding and a reunion. Besides my future wife, I am also madly in love with a good bargain, Swedish pastries, Tivo, and my two dogs and calico cat (in no particular order).
All My Flower Children
May 1st, 2008 @ 1:15 pm by Miss Gingerbread
Miss GB 2.0 and I decided early on not to have a wedding party. But then my sister told me that my 5-year old niece asked if she could be the flower girl. My only hesitation in asking my niece to be our flower girl is that I also have a 3-year old nephew, a 12-year old niece, two 10-year old nieces, and a 9-year old niece. Oh and another nephew who will be born now any day, but I am not counting him since I don’t think his feelings will be hurt if he’s left out of the ceremony.
Anyway, that leaves me with 5 nieces and a nephew. I’m from the school of thought that if one is involved, they should all get a role. I don’t want the kids to feel left out or like I’m picking favourites.
gratuitous cute kids at a wedding shot (image source)
I’ve already asked my 12-year old niece to do a reading for us and she happily agreed. I think the 3-year old nephew and the 5-year old niece are the perfect age to be flower children. But what about the 9 and 10-year olds? I can’t imagine that tweens would want anything to do with something so babyish. In fact, my sister said that her kids will be happy just to attend. They are a bit on the shy side, so I don’t want to force them into the spotlight against their will. At the same time, the younger kids and the older one (our reader) are my other sister’s kids. If they all have a role, then I worry that it looks like we are favouring one set of kids.
Dear wise readers, can you think of any way to involve the three 9 and 10-year old girls? Keep in mind that we aren’t having a wedding party, so we don’t really want “junior bridesmaids.” Any ideas? I’ve drawn a blank for months.
32 Responses to “All My Flower Children”
Pass out programs?
Maybe something at the reception?
Maybe all the kids can walk down the aisle in a row? So the 3 tweens aren’t *doing* anything but they all got to walk down together as a group.
Wish I had better ideas! I’m sure someone else will!
Some ideas are: Guest Book attendents (help to make sure it is signed by people when they enter the “Reception” area), Greeters (be by the doors to the venue to welcome people and show them where to go for the ceremony)
Maybe they’d like to be greeters, and pass out programs at the entrance to the ceremony? My 12-year-old sister is really, really shy, but she still likes to be the ‘welcoming committee’ (door opener) when my mom throws parties, because then she sees everyone who attends 
That shot is SOOOO adorable!!
When I was that age, I passed out the little packets of stuff to toss at the couple as they exited the church.
Congratulations! How exciting.
I remember getting to pass out the little packages of rice or Jordan almonds or groomscake at my older cousins’ weddings. If you get the girls matching dresses and fancy little baskets, you could have them pass out bottles of bubbles, small favors, fancy cardstock on which to write good wishes for you and Miss GB 2.0. Any function that feels important will be great. And walking around the room making sure everybody has a bottle of bubbles lets them perform a function without having to make lots of conversation, which the job of guest book attendant might entail (possibly unconfortable for them if they are shy).
I was going to say something in the usher/greeter/program-passer-outer realm.
I agree with everyone…
Greeters is the way to go….. or ushers (not sure the appropriate female term for this?)…. it would be a nice touch to have them pass out programs and escort older guests to their seats.
Another idea is to have them carry up the book that the readings may be coming from….
Good Luck!
Congrats! At age 10 I was a guest book attendent. I looked cute, felt important and stopped everyone to make sure they signed the guestbook. I felt really REALLY important!
There being three of them is a little hard, as I was thinking of maybe having them hold your bouquets while you exchange rings? (Because it’s really impossible to do rings with bouquets in hand)
Whatever you do, make sure you get pictures with all of them together- that alone will make each of them feel very special.
Congrats on the new nephew!!!
I loved how Mrs. Radish had her two little guys carry the scroll sign that said “Here Comes the Bride” before she walked down the aisle….. maybe your nieces could hold a similar sign…. that says “Here Come the Brides” Depending on how you decide to enter!
Congrats on being an aunt again! I just became one for the first time last month and it is so cool!
Oh, and Congratulations!
you should have the 9 and 10 yr old walk you and miss gb 2.0 down the aisle or have them hold a banner together
You guys are so smart! I’m loving these suggestions. I just want the girls to feel included and important. Ushering and passing out stuff are great ideas. I also like the idea of holding our bouquets. Keep the great ideas coming!
Usher-ettes?
Program handers works (though id come up with a fun name).
They are probable too young for the guest book gig.
If you decided to both walk towards each other down your created “aisles” have each niece preceded one of you (and figure out a different name for junior bridesmaid… something more personal that fits in with the wedding theme).
hmm… going along with the origami thing… instead of seeming bridemaidish with a bouquet… they could bring in orgami cranes. Ok i have a great visual in my head for how to do it - i just have no good way of describing it. here goes.. (just so you know where this is coming from - I am Episcopalian and my church just added the waving of these streamers attached to a tall pole over the people at the service representing the holy ghost in dove form…. in case youve ever seen it.) Find a long thin (but somewhat flexible ) pole (green bamboo maybe?) and sort of baby mobile style, hang paper cranes from it. The girls can walk down the aisle waving them and creating a beautiful visual for yall to follow in. Sorry for the complete lack of ability to share my thoughts properly. I can find more specific info if it sounds like something youd be interested in.
guest book attendents!
guest book attendants or pass out programs
Yay! Congratulations, Auntie!
Honestly, if they are shy, they probably won’t want to do anything in the spotlight. I know I’ve had to do things like that when I was little and I was SO self-conscious! But I loved to help do stuff behind-the-scenes, like put together favours or help fold programs. That kind of thing. Maybe you could give them a few options and see what they are most comfortable with doing? Who knows- one may be all up for traipsing down the aisle, while the other might be the biggest help you could imagine at setting up the placecards.
we had our tween nephew light the chalice (it was a uu ceremony) he is 11 the 9 year old nephew held the rings. he walked up the aisle with my mother in law and his father since he is so shy and just brought the rings up to us when it was time. If they are shy going up to people and giving them something might be tough. If you are having candles of some kind you can have them light them to start the ceremony. We have a tibetan singing bowl rung at the begining of our church service to quiet the crowd and alow for quiet reflection prior to the service starting. They could sound a bell to start the service.
If you are doing a unity candle, maybe you could have them carry the candles to the front. This is something I’m thinking about doing with my tween-age nieces — maybe try finding some antique candle stick holders for them to carry.
The previous ideas are all great. What about escorting your moms (if you are doing that..) down the aisle.. then they would be walking down the aisle, but with someone else too.
another idea based on the guest book attendants idea…you could do a photo guestbook and have the older kids be in charge of taking poloroid/digital pictures of all of the guests as they arrive at the reception.
i have 4 nieces and 2 nephews which range in age too! so i couldn’t leave them out so i have them all in the wedding, I actually have 3 of them as flowergirls and the oldest one as jr. BM. I know I stretched the age but my 10 yrd old niece is a flowergirl, i know she always wanted to be in my wedding as one. you can have them be greeters like others suggested & pass out the programs or direct guests to their seats. or pass favors at the reception.
I was going to suggest photos too - even if you don’t do a photo guestbook, give them cameras (maybe some cheapie digital ones? Or just a few disposables) and have them be “unofficial” photographers, snapping shots at the reception? If they’re shy that keeps them out of the limelight.
My 10 year old neice is extremely excited to be my flower girl, so I think it just depends on the child. Maybe you could make them “senior” flower girls and have them help the younger ones down the aisle?
I think I’m repeating an idea, but you could have them hand out programs and act as ushers. I’ve been to weddings like that. Totally cute. Or at another one, the kids that age handed out the bubbles we blew at the end.
I’ve got a tween stepsister who will be our guest book attendant and will be snapping pics of all the guests with her digital camera before or after signing (or filling in wish cards or whatever we end up doing). She’s delighted and gives her something to do - she doesn’t know a ton of people at the wedding, other than the parents and there won’t be anyone within a decade of her age so this was the perfect task.
Good luck and congrats on being an auntie again!
though I also love the idea of having your tweens carry banners or the crane mobile (that would be striking imagery)
When I was ten, my little sister and I rolled out the aisle runner for a wedding, but honestly probably would rather have just watched. It felt kind of silly.
Passing out the programs at another was really fun, and I felt important because I could assist the guests with something!
Not sure what your colors are, but what if you got each girl simple matching white dresses and tied a different color sash around each one’s waist. Then have the older girls walk down together maybe each holding a flower or if you want a have them pull an aisle runner out.
My nieces are 10 and 13 and they would be honored to do something like that.
I was a bridesmaid at 14 and it was very akward but I am incredibly grateful for being included now that I look back.
PS - my sister got gorgeous simple white dresses at walmart.
I know target has some as well.
