Wedding Blog
Choosing a first dance song was one of the toughest decisions Mr. Tiramisu and I have made so far. We are both really into music, and we wanted to choose the perfect song for the occasion. There is no “our song” in our relationship, although there are a lot of songs that have been important to us over the years.
Here we are dancing the night away at a wedding last summer. I shortly after dumped that martini down the back of some poor unsuspecting wedding-goer. Mr. Tiramisu now makes me finish my martinis before hitting the dance floor 
We started tossing around ideas almost as soon as we got engaged. My first instinct was to go classic. “At Last” by Etta James was my earliest suggestion. This was the first dance at my brother’s wedding in 2002, and was sung by my cousin then and once more at my Aunt’s wedding. Sort of a family tradition, and my cousin has an amazing, show-stopping voice. We thought it might be nice to have a song all our own though, and also nixed it because at the ripe old age of 26 (ok, ok I’ll be 27 by our wedding), we didn’t think the sentiment of finding love “At Last” was really all that fitting.
Next on the list of traditional suggestions was “It Had to be You”, sung by Frank Sinatra. This one is frequently sung, by me, off key into Mr. Tiramisu’s ear. When actually trying to dance to the song though, we found our classy “high school prom sway” didn’t really do it justice.
Since traditional wasn’t cutting it, we next considered a couple more recent songs. One that holds special meaning for us is Bright Eyes’ “First Day of My Life”. The title is very fitting for a first dance song, no? Here are some of the lyrics that I just love:
“This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They’re spreading blankets on the beachYours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go”
But one of the next lines is “I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you” which is a little bit morbid. I still love this song, but Mr. Tiramisu wasn’t as into it, and I wanted to find something we both loved.
We thought we had struck gold when we heard “All I Want is You” by U2 when we were out this past St. Patrick’s Day- we both looked at each other at the same time with the same thought when the song came on. We both love U2, and have been to two of their concerts together. As soon as I got home I googled the lyrics to over-analyze them in my usual fashion. Here they are:
You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
You say you want
Your story to remain untold
But all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you
(the rest of the lyrics here)
Beautiful, right? Or is it? Is it in fact about some diamond-ring-wanting, secret-story-keeping girl whose simple boy just wants to love her? A sweet song or a rant against a crazy lover? You decide- we couldn’t. (Sidenote: Turns out there are a lot of U2 songs that raise similar confusion… the ever popular “One” sounds nice, but what about this line- “You ask me to enter/But then you make me crawl/And I can’t keep holding on/To what you got/When all you’ve got is hurt”?) I’m really into lyrics, and so I just couldn’t sway with my new husband to a song I wasn’t sure about.
We came thisclose to using our runner-up song: “We Got Love” by Ryan Shaw. Never heard of it? That’s actually one of the reasons why we decided not to use it. Ryan Shaw is a new artist that Mr. Tiramisu and I both love. We went to see him play at a small venue in Annapolis recently. This song is perfect, but it’s maybe a little too upbeat for our first dance. We’re hoping to get our band to learn to play it for the second dance… the one that gets the party started.
The winning song was suggested by Mr. Tiramisu (and ignored by me!) very early on in the process. It didn’t stand out to me at first, but we kept coming back to it, and as is custom in my wedding planning ways, if Mr. Tiramisu feels strongly about something (since he lets me make pretty much all of the decisions), I’ll go for it. And now I think this song is just perfect. No questionable lyrics, and it’s so beautiful and classic like I originally wanted. We didn’t start out with an “our song” but we’ll have one now: “That’s How Strong My Love Is” by Otis Redding.
If I was the sun way up there
I’d go with love most everywhere
I’ll be the moon when the sun goes down
Just to let you know that I’m still aroundThat’s how strong my love is, oh
That’s how strong my love is,
That’s how strong my love is, baby, baby,
That’s how strong my love is.
(the rest of the lyrics here)
We’ll be sure to finish it off with a big dip… the best part of a first dance Anyone else without an “our song”? How did you choose the one for your first dance?
Photo by Girls With Big Cameras
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I love the lyrics- never heard the song but it sounds perfect!
Well, we don’t have “your song” - (what a great song btw).
We are using “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen
The part of the song that really made me love it for us is this:
You’re the best friend
that I ever had
I’ve been with you such a long time
You’re my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
You’re my best friend
We will have been together for 9 1/2 years by the time we get married - and it just fits so well for us.
Can’t wait to dance to it!
no idea what we are doing yet….buuuuut this post made me giggle as the FI and I discussed this very topic this morning……..yesterday……the day before…..
choosing music is harder than i thought it would be.
we never had one official song, but have several that are important to us during the course of the relationship…..
so we’re doing a cd for our favors….
but this brings me no closer to what our soloist should sing during our ceremony.
Our story is very similar to yours… we love music but don’t that “that song.” We ended up a bit more modern with “You You You You You” by The 6ths (now Magnetic Fields). Some lyrics:
Even though i met you only recently
i find myself falling in love with you
i dont know quite how to put this decently
but what’s the chance that you can love me too?
who who who who who
has made my dreams come true?
and turned my gray sky blue
why its you you you you you
who who who who who
like amorous lovebirds do
who made my world seem new
Personally, I think “All I Want is You” would be perfect - I’ve always thought the lyrics to that one were about Bono’s wife, Ally. (They were high school sweethearts.)
However, if you go the U2 route, stay away from any song on “Achtung Baby” - they’re all about The Edge’s divorce.
(I read too many biographies…)
We’re probably going the classic route, with either Etta James or Sinatra. I figure that way we’ll actually put our dance lessons to use. If we go with a more recent song, we’ll end up doing the jr high sway.
Hi Miss Tiramisu,
Totally off topic, but awhile back I remember you stressing about finding the perfect blue shoes? http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/03/25/an-open-letter/ Did you find them yet? Only reason I ask is that I was at Bergdorf’s last week looking for my own wedding day shoes and I found some GORGEOUS, comfortable, not too high heel, d’orsay (so open/peep toe) blue shoes and they made me think of you. They are manolo’s so they are pricy, but comfy and you could wear them again! I bought them for my dress. Not sure how to upload the photo and they are not on the website… I guess let me know if you want to see them. Disregard if you have found your dream pair already.
We have too many songs, which gave us the opposite problem! In the end we ended up going with a song that wasn’t one of “ours” orignally but definitely is now. “Stay with you” by John Legend…It makes me teary everytime I hear it now 
Miss T. -I am an uber U2 fan for the longest time. My fiance is an uber Frank Sinatra fan…put the two together and you’ve got their duet “I’ve Got You Under My Skin”. It works perfectly but I do wish the lyrics were a bit more lovey dovey…
“All I Want is You” kinda freaks me out because of the circus video they did with it…very odd!
Bono’s duet with the Coors would be my second pick “Stars Go Blue”….amazing!
Good choice with Otis Redding….very solid.
How are we expected to just pick one?? I want like 5!
oh my goodness, when I listened to your final song, I started to cry and had to turn it off.
My husband and I used that same song, but the version sung by Roland Gift, of Fine Young Cannibals. It is such a beautiful song! Good choice!
our wedding song is first day of my life by bright eyes, perfect lyrics for us! we didn’t have a song either but now everytime it comes on one of our ipods we think of each other and then get super excited for the wedding! this also happens when we hear tweezer reprise from phish, which is what we are being announced to…we are both phish fans (he’s a huge fan) so we thought we’d somehow work them in as well.
My FH and I have been having the same problem. We totally don’t like the same songs and every time I make a suggestion he’s like, “Eh, we have time.” I love U2’s “All I Want is You” but then I found out it was “his song” with his ex. :-/ Oops. lol I’ve always wanted to use Peter Gabriels’ “In Your Eyes” but my best friend (who I used to date) just used it in his wedding in December, so that would be weird.
I really like the John Legend one, but I’m leaning towards Ingrid Michaelson’s “The Way I Am” or Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed” (although the FH shrugs those off, too - le sigh). lol
Aaaaah we have been stressing over the first dance song! We’re big into the indie scene. I suggested The Frames’ award-winning song from the Sundance film Once but the fiance nixed it… then we thought about Wilco “California Stars” b/c its so happy and upbeat… he nixed it… we considered Muse’s “Starlight” but are not totally thrilled with it… he suggested their “Invincible” but I nixed it… I think we’ve temporarily settled on James Morrison’s (not Jim) “Better Man” which is a super sweet song. Until we come up with something else, that is!!
P.S. What about mother/groom songs? Trying to find a good mother/groom dance song is ridiculous… my future FIL says all the ones my future MIL likes are too Oedipal… haha. And I have to agree. My dad and I are dancing to “I Loved Her First” by Heartland… its a super cheesy country song (see above post, we’re totally indie) but its my dad’s only request and for the $10K he’s throwing in, I think I can suffer through it. who am I kidding, I am going to bawl my eyes out!!
We never really had a song either unless you count the Stray Cat Strut which happened to be the first song that came on when we were on our first date. So we chose an violin/guitar version of L.O.V.E. by Nat King Cole. I guess you could say music wasn’t a big deal because I only had two must play songs for our wedding and the first dance wasn’t one of them. It just happened to be one we liked.
Our first dance will be John Legend’s “Stay with You” which my fiance played for me right after we started dating. I thought he was nuts, but he says he knew he loved me right away…
“there will be heartaches and pains, yes it will
But through it all, we will remain
In this life, we all know
Friends may come, and they may go
Through the years I know
I will stay
And in the end I know that we’ll find
Love so beautiful and divine
We’ll be lovers for the lifetime, yeah
And I’ll stay with you”
This reminds me of how Sting says he’s always appalled that people use “Every Breath You Take” as a wedding song, b/c it’s about STALKING….lol.
Love that song! I hadn’t heard it before, but am a huge fan of music from that era. This was just added to the “must play list” We’re using L.O.V.E. by Nat King Cole for our first dance– a relatively upbeat version of it. Like you, though, our “senior prom sway” wasn’t going to cut it with big band music so we’re taking dance lessons starting next week. If that tanks, we might have to pick a more swayable sone.
::Fans self::
I love Otis Redding something fierce–every song of his kills me.
We also struggled with picking “a song” because while we didn’t want to go too traditional, we didn’t want it to be unpleasant to listen to, either. It ultimately came down to “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea” by Neutral Milk Hotel and “Masterfade” by Andrew Bird. While the former is very sweet and romantic and very us, it’s from a completely devestating album that is all about Anne Frank (the final track never fails to make me cry, regardless of my mood prior to hearing it) and death. “Masterfade” on the other hand, has a light sweetness to it, and all of the science-vs.-artistic references in it also are very us:
“well you sure didn’t look like you were having any fun
with that heavy-metal gaze they’ll have to measure in tons
and when you look up at the sky
all you see are zeros
all you see are zeros and ones
you took my hand and led me down to watch the kewpie doll parade
we let the kittens lick our hair and drank our chalky lemonade
it’s not that I just didn’t care I must admit I was afraid
and I’m awfully glad my finger’s resting gently on the masterfade
(rest of the lyrics here: http://lyricwiki.org/Andrew_Bird:Masterfade)
Oh my god I love that song so much. It was a runner up for our song but Shawn Colvin won out in the end. Awesome choice!
I think you’ve made a great choice!
Our first dance will be to Jack Johnson’s ‘Angel.’ It’s a song he wrote for his wife. We love the fact that it’s only two minutes long (enough time to be endearing without being too drawn out). We’re also huge Jack fans. Plus, the lyrics are meaningful. Here are a few lines:
I’ve got an angel
She doesn’t wear any wings
She wears a heart that can melt my own
She wears a smile that can make me wanna sing
She gives me presents
With her presence alone
She gives me everything I could wish for
She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home
no “our song” for us either. I let my fiance’ pick the first dance song b/c he admitted long before we were engaged that he often thought about that element of our wedding. He is a huge Neil Young fan and selected “Falling Off the Face of the Earth” - Some lyrics:
I just want to thank you
For all of the things you’ve done
I’m thinking about you
I just want to send my love
I send my best to you
That’s my message of love
For all the things you did
I can never thank you enough
Feel like I’m falling
Falling off the face of the earth…
I just want to tell you
You sure mean a lot to me
It may sound simple
But you are the world to me
It’s such a precious thing
That time we shared together…
i was actually eyeing this song for the father/daughter and mother/son dance [in my mind, we do this at the same time]!
We had the same Otis song for our wedding last Sept. It is the best
I’m a little weirded out but very excited by the fact that my fiance and I have considered quite a few of the songs you mentioned in your post. Otis is one of my favorite artists and someone whose songs I belt out until FH begs me to be quiet.
Our wedding is at the end of the month and we still have not decided on our first dance. I think your post helped me make up my mind So glad to see all of the awesome songs people posted on this thread!
@LaborDayBride: Thanks so much for thinking of me! I did end up finding some shoes… I will blog about them soon! I’ve loved all the great suggestions- send me the link if you find it!
Thank you all so much for the song support!
I’m really excited about it now!
I’m a huge U2 fan too and would love to have one of their songs to dance to, but nothing’s appropriate for luuurrrve, haha. The guys in the band have actually been quoted, scratching their heads over why people choose One for their wedding song! Which, I adore that song too but for the lines you mentioned, it doesn’t fit!
Like kpenn, we’re going to use Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend”. My fiancee is a huge Queen fan, and sent me this email — how could I resist?
Its a brilliant song and was written by favourite member of Queen John Deacon for his wife. Despite his millions, concerts, parties and his celebrity all he wanted to do was be at home with his wife and kids. Hence his having nothing to do with Queen after the death of Freddy Mercury. To me this song sets the tone of the wedding a fun, happy celebration of our love and lurve. — aww, totally romantic!
I love this post! I have never heard that Bright Eyes song before or of Ryan Shaw, but I am now in love w/ both… thank you!
My FH and I have a song, but it’s “Girl from Ipanema” not so much a wedding song… so the search begins.
Our song was “That’s How Strong My Love Is” 
Gotta love Otis.
Another good one of his is “These arms of mine”
[...] bouts of sun. 7. An acoustic version of Green Day’s “Time of Your Life” replacing our carefully selected first dance song 8. An impromptu father-daughter dance, danced on the lawn, to a random song, sung by family and [...]
[...] if we would like to do our first dance anyways, even though they wouldn’t be able to do the one we had chosen. In the spirit of the day, we said, “Sure, why not!” And that, my friends, is how I [...]
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Mrs. Tiramisu, Annapolis, MD/Maine
Age and Occupation: 26, Eye Doctor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Project Manager/Real Estate Management grad student
Engagement Date: May 15, 2007
Wedding Date: July, 2008
Blogging Since: March 4, 2008
Venue: Oceanfront lawn and tent
About Me: I was born and raised in Maine, now living in Annapolis, Maryland and planning a hometown wedding from afar. I’m nothing short of obsessed with wedding planning, and am loving the do-it-yourself madness that has now taken over my life! As for me, I’m a craft-loving, martini-drinking, girly-girl who loves traveling, photography, my schnauzer, and above all, spending time with Mr. Tiramisu.
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