Wedding Blog
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One of the very first decisions I made about our wedding was concerning the bridesmaid’s dresses. Since I have long distance relationships with all but one of my bridesmaids I knew it would be a nightmare trying to get them together to get the perfect dress for everyone. I also want my bridesmaids and best friends to feel pretty and comfortable in what they are wearing, who doesn’t?
So, I decided on letting each girl pick out any black dress they wanted. My only request was that it be tea-length. Here is the “vision,” these dresses are from J.Crew:
Black is not very exciting or unique, but I am so relieved I went this route. It is one less decision I have to make and no one has to pretend they love the dress I have picked out, if they don’t.
As far as shoes, accessories and hair? Eh. Whatever they want.
Anyone else going this route?
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Me! In principal at least. The girls all ended up wearing the same dress but thats because I picked navy blue as the color and it was a bit harder to find then black probably is.
And just like you I said “Eh” when it came to hair and shoes. No need to go totally uniform.
Yes! I made the same decision very early on. BYOBD- Bring your own black dress. I was very hands off with shoes as well. Black, strappy, heel or no heel. Jewelry? Who cares!? Wear your favorite piece.
I am on the same route. My bridesmaid are not only scattered around the US, but they are totally different body types. I went with a simple strapless A-line, but I love being able to give your bridesmaids options.
I opted to do this same thing. Since my dress has color in it, I asked the girls to pick out a dress by the same designer in that color. They all seemed pretty enthusiastic about it.
I am going this route, however I still found it a bit of a challenge. I only have two attendants but they’re two very different body types with two very different personal tastes. I said “black, tea-length, church-appropriate”. People have different ideas of what ‘tea-length’ means and “church-appropriate”. Just make sure that your attendants have a clear understanding of what you expect in terms of their dresses.
Me me me! I told them their dress had to be long and black, and that was it!
I tried this and 4 of the 5 ended up with the same dress and the last did not want to look different than everyone else. I ended up having to find the dress and guess on the size for the 5th girl…. so my easy let it go thing turned into me running around anyway!
I am doing the same thing. I really wasn’t in love with any particular dress, and I have had my fair share of having to wear a dress that I hated, so I really didn’t want to put them through that. I told the ladies that I didn’t mind at all if they each picked a different dress, and that they could pick out whatever they were comfortable in, but that they would have to agree on a color (either black or purple). Would you believe that they all ended up picking and agreeing on the same dress, and of course they all chose black! So I will bring in my purple obsession in the flowers, and everyone is happy!
I’m doing the same thing. My girls all have very different shapes and taste so finding a dress that they’d all be happy with would be nearly impossible. I told them all to wear a black, knee length dress that makes them feel absolutely fabulous… I figure if they feel fabulous, they’ll look fabulous!
Me!!!! At times I feel like one of the biggest pro-J.Crew boosters out there. We went with the navy tricotine, my girls had two styles (one that was a little more bare than the other) and everyone got what they wanted.
I was able to convince my other good friend who’s getting married to go the J.Crew route (she’s doing it a month before me!) and I went with the black cotton cady halter you posted above. It’s crazy cute, if quite fitted in the waist.
I am having only one witness — my best woman, or “Supreme Bridal Ninja” as we like to call her . .. so she is picking out whatever she wants to wear in either black or yellow. . . . (I did ask that it be solid rather than any print.)
My sister in law did this for her wedding to my brother, great idea! They only had a 5 month long engagement, so it was probably the only feasible option. Black and to the floor, however, I probably spent more on that dress than I have on any other bridesmaid dress and have not worn it again. Dang it! But I do think it’s a great idea!! There was one dress that all my girls loved, so it was easy for me, and at $100, eas(ier) for them!
I picked the dress - the Ann Taylor Chloe in espresso, which my 3 ladies got for $60 (down from $180!) - but as for hair, makeup and shoes? I’m letting them choose. I have gorgeous friends and I know they’ll all look stunning without any meddling.
Yup. I’m going black - but I’m pretty much letting them choose any black dress, so long as it’s knee or tea length.
I only have two attendants so I told them both to pick a solid dress, knee or tea length, in a shade of brown. If they wanted to wear the same dress, great. If not that would be fine too. They ended up with 2 different dress styles, one in almond and one in chocolate and I think it’s going to look fantastic. I was so happy I didn’t have to worry about picking a dress that they would both like.
My girls are all wearing the same dress but they are thrilled that they are from JCrew and fit like a dream!!!! We ended up getting the navy Lyndsey dress on final sale, so it was about 60% off. Best deal ever!! I know that two of them will wear it again for sure!
At first I told them BYOLBD, but they wanted to look the same. We got a great deal at nordstrom.com and only $5 shipping!
I was going to do this exact same thing but 2 of the bridesmaids complained that the other two have horriable fashion sense and that they would all look horriable. So I had to choose just one black dress…. urgh.
@Amandaleebest: I am only a leetle concerned about this. Even if someone chooses something too young (read: trashy), which I don’t think they will, it won’t reflect poorly on Mr. Pineapple or I just the maid.
I really don’t think this will happen though. Once the girls find their dresses I would love to see them anyway and if there is one that will be completely distracting or inappropriate I’ll make some suggestions. (or have my maid of honor, sister pineapple do it 
)
This is what I’m doing too. I had a 5-month engagement, and both my MOH and my other BM live 3000 miles away from me, so…however, the BM is notorious for her…uh, “fashion-forwardness”, so MOH’s job is to prevent her from wearing something hideous and accesorizing with orange tights or something.
I thought about doing it this way because my girls are all spread out, but it just didn’t make sense. We’re having a formal, black-tie wedding, and telling my girls to each pick out their own long, black dress would mean they would show up looking identical to the guests, and I wanted SOME way for the bridal party to stand out as being the bridal party and not just another one of the 60 females wearing floor length black dresses.
So, they just sent me their measurements, I ordered dresses, and luckily they all fit minus needing a bit of hemming, and at least this way there will be some way to distinguish the girl in the long black dress as a bridesmaid, and not just a random person attending the wedding.
I originally was thinking of doing the black dresses as well. It’s so easy and makes everyone happy. It just didn’t work, the groomsmen are wearing navy blazers & khakis, so the ladies are going to wear navy blue dresses, any style they want. I hope it will still be a dress they can wear again 
Definitely have your maid of honor handle any issues, you have enough to worry about!
i totally went that route. I gave the girls free reign and because they need help looking, i ended up picking 10 dresses they could pick from and well, all of them picked the same dress. I thought it was funny cause i was all set to be one of those brides with different dresses… guess not.
I may have gone to an extreme - I told them they could wear whatever they want - any color (except pink, purple, blue, or red) - any designer/style - I just didn’t want it to be longer than tea length. I was imaging off the rack BCBG-esque dresses.
I figured I’d end up with one in black, one in brown, one in champagne (she loves that color), my sister would probably wear something bright (matches her personality)… but then they wanted more guidance, so I narrowed the colors down to yellow, brown, and green. Now my MOH (sister), Jr. Bridesmaids, and flower girls are wearing any yellow dress of their choice (from any designer, etc.) They are all bought, but I haven’t seen them all yet. The two remaining bridesmaids don’t think they look as good in yellow, so they are both going to wear any green dress of their choosing. We are going to look like a bouquet of flowers with stems.
We are fooling ourselves if we think they will wear these dresses again. Even if they pick them out themselves, once they are branded a BM dress, they are just less desirable to rewear.
I’m trying to do something similar. I want to find one company with 1 or 2 colors I like and tell them - anything that comes in these colors!
And I am making their shoes for them. (Barefoot sandals). I was going to buy them (at $30 they aren’t terrible) but I wanted to be able to customize them with colors or charms having to do with some story between just the two of us. So I decided to make them myself. Other than that - hair, jewelry, i dont really care! I’m asking them to talk to each other (via email - they are everywhere from Hawaii to NY) and decide on things like - Uber sparkly? or mellow. Fancy hair? or DIY.
Oh, yeah! My bridesmaids are wearing long black dresses of their own choosing. They will all carry the same colorful bouquets- that will tie them together. Hurray for less stress!
I am glad I’m not alone. My maids are wearing any green dress of their choosing. I love the “matching but not matching” look!
Yep, knee or tea length black dresses for us too. Our only requirement was that the dress not be shiny or sparkly. We got them all these lovely matching aqua necklaces because a couple of them complained that nobody would *know* they were bridesmaids otherwise.
LOL! I made the exact same decision, with the exact same dresses, in the exact same color. I even lucked out — five girls in five different dresses: http://exitpursuedbybear.typepad.com/exitpursuedbybear/2008/01/decision-2008.html
I am doing the exact same thing! My girls had the following guidelines:
1. Black
2. Satin or Satin-like material
3. Knee or tea length (some are taller than others)
Not slutty was a given.
JCrew navy silk tricotine (3 style choices). Everyone seems really happy with them and excited to wear them again. Mission accomplished
This started out as my plan, but turned out it really stressed out my maids! They were so worried they would pick something I wouldn’t like, even though I assured them a gazillion times that I didn’t care. So, I ended up picking the embossed beach dresses from J.crew, that way they could pick either the strapless, shift or halter style.
[...] Pineapple at Weddingbee is talking about the process she went through in getting her dress colors and styles picked out, and explains how [...]
I’m doing this! And my girls are thrilled. One reason was I just didn’t want to try to find a dress to fit 4 very different women (both in terms of body type and age…they’ll range from 21 to 35!) Secondly, one of my sisters was trying to get pregnant, and I thought if she was we could find a shorter black maternity dress more easily than one that’s a specific color. Luckily we went that route as she’ll be 7.5 months along at our wedding! I think it’s a great idea!
All my girls wore floor length, chocolate brown dresses with whatever shoes, jewlery, hair, & make up they wanted. Every one of them looked gorgeous despite the fact that EVERYONE who heard I wasn’t having them purchase their gowns from the “same dye lot” would mean they’d all clash horribly. My MOH actually made her own dress and it was simply gorgeous.
I told my lovely ladies to wear any black dress of their choosing — no stipulations on length or material! Since they are unique individuals I wanted them to be able to dress that way for my wedding. As long as they are unique in black. I’m so glad that I went this route because one of my attendants is now a few months pregnant! How awful would I have felt if a dress of my choosing had interfered with her family planning!
[...] the ladies will be wearing all black, I will be in champagne, and Mr. Pineapple will be in black, he and I thought black for the [...]
[...] 2nd, 2008 @ 10:25 am by Miss Pineapple You all know what their dresses will look like (well sort of - you know as much as I do, they will be black). And you know they [...]
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Mrs. Pineapple, Pittsburgh
Age and Occupation: 24, Graphic Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Student Affairs Administration
Engagement Date: August 4, 2007
Wedding Date: October, 2008
Blogging Since: April 14, 2008
Venue: The Rivers Club
About Me: Being a transplant from sunny south Florida I am learning to live with all four seasons while playing with our cat collective, line dancing, and doing a ton of DIY projects for our wedding (seriously, like a thousand)!
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