Wedding Blog
Note: This post was contributed by Mr. Cherry Pie.
Miss Cherry Pie spends a decent amount of time thinking about what she’s going to wear to the wedding. Dress, hair, make-up, shoes, etc. Until this weekend I’d considered it pretty much straightforward that I’d wear a rented tuxedo. Last weekend though, I started entertaining the idea of getting a suit instead.
Now, I think we can all agree that buying a tux would be silly (unless I’d bought it years ago before going to five proms… oh the rental savings!) especially since I’m unlikely to get much wear out of it. But I don’t own a suit. I don’t even own a good suit jacket! A suit is something I could get some future wear out of, and as such I’d entertain the idea of getting a good one that I could wear for the wedding and beyond.
Wearing a suit instead of a tux does present some problems… there’s less to color-coordinate with groomsmen, bridesmaids and bride; no cummerbund or vest to be had, but I do get a tie instead of a bow tie. And buying a suit raises some questions: what accents can I use besides pocket squares and a necktie? And if I wear a suit, do I put the groomsmen in tuxes or rented suits to (hopefully) match?
What do you ladies think? Is a nice suit just as worthy of a wedding as a tuxedo? (Obviously we’re not having a black or white-tie wedding.)
And what if I wanted to get something made in dark gray instead of black? Is that too gauche?
From Miss Cherry Pie: I just realized while looking for photos to illustrate this post that except in the most extreme examples, I cannot tell the difference on-sight, between some suits and tuxes.According to Pricescope, “Tuxedos are always one button, there are two different types of lapels to choose from (shawl or peak, never notched–that would fall into a “suit” category), tuxedo pants never have belt loops…and there are many other details we would never even think of on an everyday basis! But there are many differences not necessarily noticeable to the non-discriminating eye that determine the difference.” Welp. The more you know…
(Image Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4)
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Share this post: What Should I Wear? (By Mr. Cherry Pie)
My husband bought a CK charcoal pinstripe suit. We found charcoal pants and light grey sweaters for the GMs to wear (they purchased them for a total of about $80 each) and we bought them all coordinating (but not matching) ties. It looked great and was much more “us” that tuxes… especially since we had a morning-semi-casual ceremony.
The only way I can tell a tux from a suit for sure is the satin stripe on the pants, the satin lapel, & the no belt loops. I think a nice suit is just as good, if not better, than a tux. The key is to have something in a nice material that fits you well. You will wear a suit more often than you think! I vote for suit. My fiancee is wearing a suit and having all his groomsmen just wear a “dark” suit with a white shirt and they’ll all wear the same colored/patterned tie to coordinate with the bridesmaids.
My fiancee has always requested that he be able to wear a suit, rather than a tux. He requested the same for his GM. I honestly couldn’t tell the difference, AND I know how much his mom can’t wait to spoil him rotten and buy him a new suit for his wedding, so we’re going the all suit route. I’m not that worried about the GM all matching my groom exactly…if they rent a suit that is similar to yours, and they all rent the same one — I think it will look lovely! And I really like just the tie for your splash of coordinating color.
Go for the suit. One of my wedding regrets was putting my hubby in a rented black suit - rather than thinking outside the box and buying him a nice brown suit instead. He never wears black, why did I put him in black for the wedding?? Oh the things you learn 
Our men are all buying the same dark charcoal grey suit from the Men’s Warehouse ($209-229 each depending on the amount of alterations needed) and so far they look AWESOME on everyone (and believe you me, we have quite the range of shapes and sizes…). We decided to go with buying since my hub didn’t have a suit either and this way rather than rent and have nothing to show for it after, all your guys will have a new suit.
And our guys are getting a pocket square and necktie (both came from Etsy at http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=58778 and they are the coolest ties ever….we got the “Walking timebomb ones in olive), but you could also do a shirt with french cuffs and rock cuff links. Also many grooms & groomsmen get down with coordinated socks or all wear an “atypical” wedding shoe (Converse, vans, etc etc) and it looks awesome.
And Ms. CP who knew tuxedo pants don’t have belt loops! This is like the time my hub learned the difference between a dress and a skirt! Well, maybe not quite like that…but almost! 
Good luck Mr. Cherry pie!
my husband went the “nice suit to keep wearing” route. it was three piece suit, so there was a vest, though he opted to get it in black rather like the rest of the suit rather than buy or rent a coloured one as I suggested. we didn’t end up getting him a pocket square either, though we did consider it. Also, the buttons were fabric covered to make it a little more tux like, and then swapped for regular suit buttons after the wedding.
anyway, just saying you can still play do tux-like aspects like vest and pocket square for colour, even if it’s technically a suit.
we just had the one groomsman/bestman and didn’t do any coordinating. he just wore his own stuff.
hmmm… are there such things as hybrid suit/tux?!?!
Because I’m pretty sure Mr. Toucan’s and the groomsmen’s “tuxes” have 2 buttons. I can’t tell the difference between a suit and a tux either - I just look out for the satin stripe and lapel.
oh, and I vote for suit! A man should have at least 1 good suit!
A nice suit is always a nice thing to have in the closet just in case. And it could be very cool to wear it again after and to think “this is what i got married in!” (ok - maybe its a chick thing, but i love that idea). You and Miss CP should go look at suits to buy. It may turn out that the one that you love and would love to have as a keep suit, she doesn’t want for the wedding or it might really clash with her dress (ok - i cant tell you how that would happen off the top of my head, but it is possible), in which case - rent! or maybe you find one that coordinates well, is priced right, and you love - in which case - buy! Just make sure if you are buying it that you like it and are ok with wearing it again for other occasions. Suits aren’t cheap my friend!
I wish I got mine a suit. After all, my dress costs $900 and I will NEVER wear it again. Why should he have to rent a tux?
I am wearing a vintage flannel suit and my groom is wearing a cashmere blazer with wool pants, because we are having an afternoon wedding in the fall - the look makes sense.
I would say that the most important factor here is matching the formality level of the women in the wedding. If the bride is wearing a strapless ball gown and the bridesmaids are in taffeta, you almost have to go tuxedo. If the women are dressed formally and you decide on a suit, it should definitely be black.
Also consider the season and time of day. Black looks much better at night than during daylight. Gray is sometimes tough to pull off because it looks too business-y. A full suit in the heat of summer will just look (and feel!) uncomfortable.
You asked about accents other than pocket square and necktie. Everything about your look will register, even if subtly. Obviously, your cufflinks, watch, and other jewelry. Consider the color of your shirt and the choice of collar. How will you knot your tie? Your shoes are very important, as is the hem of your pants - cuffed or not - and your socks. The fullness or snugness of your pants and your jacket will matter. Your haircut, your choice of glasses or contact lenses, your decision to shave or not.
The possible variations are endless!
I vote for the suit! My hubby-to-be and all the groomsmen are wearing charchoal gray suits from Men’s Warehouse with bright fuschia ties. (can’t tell you how many “looks” I’ve gotten when I say that but trust me, it’ll work).
I say go for the suit! My fiance got an offer from a (wealthy) relative to buy him a dark suit for the wedding and he is getting an Armani suit that will last him for life out of the deal. Even an inexpensive suit often looks much better than a tux as the tuxes can’t really be altered to fit you like a glove. Unless tuxes fit perfectly, they look awkward!
My guy is wearing a black one, but almost went with a dark gray (which I thought looked super sharp and would be useful in all seasons). The groomsmen are wearing dark suits they all already have, white shirts, and a green tie that fits in with the mood and colors of the wedding. Their tie will also be part of their gift from us.
Mr. CP, I too vote for the suit. It’s just more practical, and after all, you guys aren’t having an “after-five” type wedding so you don’t need traditional tuxes. It seems like your wedding is going to be a kind of “country chic?” Suits would be perfect. Our GM wore brown tuxes, but honestly they looked like suits - especially because they didn’t have the telltale satin stripe. You could look into different tuxes to see which ones look “suitlike” for your GM so that if you wear one, they look coordinated. OR maybe you can find a good sale somewhere for approximately what you would pay for a rental…..
That was a lot of rambling just to say go with the suits!
My husband and his groomsmen purchased suits. The guys were more than happy to spend just a little more than they would have on rentals in order to keep a great suit (they ordered from Men’s Wearhouse). I think they looked just as nice as any tux I’ve seen. We bought ties/cufflinks to match the girls’ dresses from After Hours, and my husband bought a white-on-white stripe tie from a tux shop, which was super classy. Go for it!
My FI is buying a new black suit (though he actually owns a tuxedo as well!) . . . I envy him that he’ll be able to wear his wedding outfit over and over again. Me . . . not so much! I think you’ll have all the coordination possibilities you’ll need/want with the necktie choice and then either boutonnieres or pocket squares. (I think not both.)
My fiance has a few nice suits but I’m encouraging him to buy a straight black one that’s impeccably tailored– it’ll look just as good as a tux and be highly functional, not to mention a great investment. I kind of envy that about menswear!
My FI is going the suit route. We went to the downtown LA Brooks Brothers and after 45 minutes, we had the car valeted, he tried on 5 suits, had the “one” altered and then purchased. I personally would only go to a downtown store location to buy a suit. They tend to do a lot of sales for business no- nonsense men and they always have their own tailor on site. I appreciate this type of service when I am dealing with my FI attire. Quick and easy! **Also he purchased the Brooks Cool Suit, which is very airy (minimal lining). I would recommend for any summer wedding!
fyi, tuxedos can have 2 buttons. http://www.google.com/products?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4GGIH_enUS238US238&q=2-button+tuxedo&um=1
We wanted to go the suit route, but couldn’t find any nice dark brown ones, and finding any suit that would fit my 14-yr old cousin who is a string bean was proving nigh impossible…so we opted for rented dark brown tuxes for all the guys, but used our own french-cuffed shirts and regular ties (no bowties), and our own shoes and it looked great - you really couldn’t tell the difference between the tux and a suit. But if we’d have found a brown suit, we would have gone that route…
Vote: Charcoal suit! My future hubs is wearing a charcoal suit too! I think its soooo much better than a tux. Seriously!!! ; )
A really nice suit that has been fitted to you is always going to look way better than a rented tux! My FI is also going the suit route. He was initially thinking a charcoal grey as well, but has now sort of fallen in love with a gorgeous Hugo Boss suit from Nordstrom that is a very, very dark navy (with a light blue and lilac pinstripe). He is quite tall (6′6″) and has very broad shoulders but a small waist, so it’s really impossible to get anything not custom tailored that doesn’t look kind of boxy on him.
definitely a suit.
and charcoal grey is still really nice and classy, though you are more likely to wear it again. And frankly, you’re getting married in the mountain in Montana- it doesn’t need to be (and probably shouldn’t be) that formal.
i loveeee the idea of a grey suit. i want my fi to wear one but he seems to be stuck on the idea of a traditional tux, even though we’re not having THAT formal of a wedding!
My husband wore a dark navy suit and he looked GOOD!
I prefer the suit to the tux. Unless the wedding is Black Tie or very formal I prefer a suit over a tux.
Your wedding style overall seems a bit more… organic, earthy and rustic-chic. I think a tux would look out of place amongst all that rugged natural beauty.
I didn’t realize how opinionated I am on this topic…
Woah, I guess I still have a lot to learn about menswear
I agree with HCB– go suit, it fits your style. Besides, brides nitpick all the time about finding their maids something that’s rewearable; why shouldn’t the men get something rewearable, too?
We are going with suits too, it just doesn’t make sense to rent tuxes, and even though our wedding is fairly formal, it would probably be a little out of place in our crowd. FI bought a beautiful new black suit, and the GMs are wearing their own (black) suits. I put no requirements on style such as no. of buttons, etc., so we’ll see how it all goes together.
Go with the suit! So much more practical but it can still look really spiffy.
My fiance and all his groomsmen will be buying suits. We figured it’s a little bit more money (but not much) to buy a suit than it is to rent a tux. They can all use it again. We’re going with a charcoal color or black with thin charcoal or white pinstripes. Then we’ll be a cranberry color tie (our colors are cranberry, charcoal, and white). We’ll have the guys wear whatever white shirt they want, and black shoes. Buy the suit, and we’ll buy them the ties. And if the suits we end up picking are way more than a tux rental, we’ll pick up the difference as our gift to them. We ARE having a black tie optional wedding, but I love this idea. My mom still doesn’t get it, but she will GO FOR THE SUIT!!!
and LOVE the guest writer
suits are awesome and much more fun than a tux you have to rent and hope with all you heart that they get your correct size on time (guys get the wrong tux too often:( )
my guy has decided to wear a suit also and he looks great in it. it’s a very dark charcoal grey. it looks almost black, but not quite.
go with it.
We bought my FI a gorgeous very dark grey hickey freeman suit for the wedding and even though it was insanely expensive, I think it was a great decision- he’ll wear it for years, and everytime he does, we’ll think of the wedding. The man deserves to wear something beautiful and new as much as the woman! Go for a suit!!
Great post! We have been wondering what to do for the guys and love the idea of a suit. He’s not a tux sort of guy and while we don’t typically have a need for a formal suit (he’s a programmer, we live in SF where even the fancy restaurants don’t require a jacket), it’s always good to have one. A sharply tailored jacked will look so much better (and be more comfortable) than a rental anyway.
First of all what a great post, it’s nice to hear the Misters’ side
I would totally go for the suit! Personally I like suits better than tuxes anyway, I just think they look better, besides that owning a nice suit is FAR more practical.
Suits all the way. We’re not doing tuxes, and I’ve heard nothing but positive things about it from the guys. JosABanks has great sales all the time, and they have a cooling suit that FI thinks is fabulous. It comes in quite a few colors as well. If you are going to wear a dark suit, I think asking the groomsmen to wear any dark suit is fine. Though, honestly, if you get the suit on sale, they aren’t much more (or any more) than a bridesmaids dress.
I love, love, love pocket squares. They look so stately!! I think guys look better with those than with boutineers, honestly. Getting a french cuff shirt (so sharp) and a set of vintage cuff links is another way to make you stand out, Mr. CP. Can’t wait to see what you end up picking out!
Given your wedding style and the locale, I’d say a suit is more appropriate for Mr CP than a tux. We are having a rustic, outdoor, wedding too - and my FI is renting the same tan suit as his groomsmen - though I think it would look just fine if the three GM all just wore whatever tan suited they wanted and FI bought a nice one.
suit. all the way.
I think a suit is just as special and probably classier too. Definitely have your groomsmen in suits too, though, or they might look more dressed up than you!
My husband and the two groomsmen (his brothers) all just wore nice black suits. The groom wore a white tie and the other boys wore matching colored ties that we bought them. They looked great, and for a mid-July wedding I think vests would have been way too warm.
Bonus: my mother-in-law is ecstatic that all three of her sons now own suits in case they need them for other dress occasions.
too lazy to read every single comment, so this could be a repeat of info.
we just left the tux shop on saturday and i was informed there that tuxes usually incoporates satin on the lapel. this was the only hard thing he gave me for th edifferenc ebw the two, and i guess thats bc otherwise the difference is very slight.
my fh is going for a triangular lapel. which is satin and pretty darn cool looking if i say so myself. his jacket is 3 button. satin stripe down the pants. we’re having a formal morning wedding, so it will be tuxes for us.
my FI actually works in a field where owning a tux would do him good, so we are considering purchasing his tux rather than renting.
[...] some might remember, when I last wrote for Weddingbee, it was because I was trying to decide what to wear for the Big Day. Well, I felt [...]
[...] recently had a bit of a wedding dilemma. As he wrote earlier, Mr. Cherry Pie isn’t terribly fond of renting tuxedos. As a result, Mr. CP opted to have a custom suit made for the wedding. It’s a much bigger [...]
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Miss Cherry Pie, Seattle/Polebridge, Montana
Age and Occupation: 25, Marketing Communications Specialist
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Nurse Practitioner
Engagement Date: August 26, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: April 1, 2008
Venue: A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
About Me: I think of life as a journey and I love the places it's taking me! I went to school to study Magazine Journalism, ended up with a second major in Japanese language, and now work at a company that makes software for libraries. I love writing, computers, photography, and the great outdoors. I spend most of my time playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band or geeking out online with Mr. Cherry Pie. I'm happiest when I'm on the road, especially traveling abroad, or just nesting quietly at home with my sweetie, who is a fabulous cook and bakes a delicious rendition of a certain cherry-filled dessert!
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