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Mr. Candy Corn and I have been engaged since September of 2004, so needless to say we’ve had some time on our hands to plan things. Even though I knew we’d be getting married eventually, it always seemed like a childish fantasy that would never really play out. Now that we’re actually signing contracts and making appointments to consult with vendors, it’s making my stomach dance around, Beck-style.
There is one thing that I can’t control that sort of terrifies me. The big day is getting closer and closer, and I know I’m going to be a shy spazz when I walk down the aisle with my pops and when I say my vows. The main problem on my plate is that my face turns completely red (I mean Sally Jessy Raphael glasses red) when people pay an ounce of attention to me. I don’t really know what to do about it, other than wear 8 layers of foundation (and I SO don’t do foundation). People have said that I might have rosacea, but my face doesn’t get blotchy like this:
I know that some people take Pepto Bismol to avoid ARF (Asian Red Face) while drinking, but I doubt that it would have the same effect on me since my hardcore blushing is caused by shyness, not alcohol. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to load up on some good ol’ Pepto. Any suggestions on how I can avoid looking like this (see photo below) on our wedding day?
Try the pepto thing first. For me (and many people I know) when I take pepto, a little while later, my tongue turns black. You really dont want your tongue to be black during the ceremony.
Other brides on here who have similar nerves about being in front of people have said that the bridal showers actually helped them. They turned a little red, and then started to get over it. Also, do some of your photos ahead of time, but plan for re-do’s later (make SURE you tell your photographer about the red thing - he/she might say they’ll try some, see how it goes and plan a back-up time - OR they might say - no biggie, they can photoshop it out later).
This will sound ridiculous, but it works for me on occasion. When you feel the “heat” coming on, repeat over and over in your head, and really concentrate on thinking about, “ice cubes, ice cubes, ice cubes, etc..” The thought of something icy cold will hopefully combat the red tide. 
it sounds like it may have something to do with your sympathetic nervous system. i’m not completely sure, but i think there is a very minimally invasive thoracic surgery that will clamp (it’s not permanent and totally reversible if you don’t clip it) that will suppress the neurological triggers that make you blush excessively. clearly, this is not a solution to your wedding day but it may be something to look into if it’s intrusive and debilitating in your life. also, there may be other factors that might be causing it, like maybe anxiety? it’s worth a visit to the doctor and some internet research. good luck!!!
Oh dear I have the VERY same problem. Question: Do you have any Celtic in your ancestral heritage? My mother was told years ago by her dermatologist that it was very common for ppl of Celtic descent to have rosy faces sometime (which we do).
Im not sure what to tell you because you said you dont do foundation, however I did learn (and tried) a trick I learned off of What Not to Wear. Which is to kind of spackle foundation into the area where you tend to get red (which is beside my nose and cheeks). Good luck dear!
Aw, you’ll be cute monkey!
Just a thought — there are foundations and primers made to neutralize redness; maybe that would help? I know Smashbox makes one (I love their primers)
Since you don’t drink alcohol, you might try some herb tea– my favorite non-booze calming agent.
Also, if you are having a rehearsal dinner, you may find that having that evening of focus on you & Mr. CC helps you feel less anxious the next day.
To help overcome shyness in general, try talking to strangers. I swear this works!
Nothing earth-shattering, just chit-chat in the elevator and on-line at the grocery store. You’ll probably look like the poor little monkey the first few times (and who cares, b/c it’s STRANGERS!), but over time you will get desensitized to the automatic reaction of blushing when someone focuses on you.
Anyway, it worked for me– a drama geek in high school who could be starring in the Senior play and nevertheless hyperventilate when “playing” herself during an American History oral report.
I didnt know about pepto! I dont get asian glow from drinking, but my face turns BRIGHT red any time i get nervous…so I’ll have to try this one out! Thanks for the tip!
Ah, I’m the same way! Often I feel myself flush just talking to any old coworker, which only makes it worse by adding actual embarrassment.
No advice, I’m afraid. But having been through the wedding already, I can tell you that you will have serious tunnel-vision and will probably get through just fine. Apparently all sorts of things happened during my ceremony that I was completely unaware of.
i heard it’s PEPCID AC that works for ARF, although i guess peptol may have similar ingredients that helps tame the redness. other than that, foundation primers with a GREEN tint will even out redness. i suggest working with your makeup artist and let her know of the crimson attack when you are shy, and have her try out different primers and powders.
I struggled with public speaking… I joined Toastmasters and got so much more comfortable. Also, there’s an awesome book that has a brilliant trick in it to prevent you from becoming self-conscious:
http://www.amazon.com/New-Talkpower-Business-Personal-Development/dp/189212324X/
Basically hold something heavy in your hand and concentrate on the weight of your hand. By focusing on something else, your mind can’t become self-conscious. It’s really amazing how well it works!
@laura:
I am sooo going to try that!
@MissPearls:
hehe thanks for the tip!
@beanchar:
We are indeed having a rehearsal dinner! I’m absolutely dreading the toasting part because I’m people-shy! The funny thing is that I can be super outgoing, but when it’s something personal I just get so nervous. I was the class clown in my high school yearbook, so you’d think I wouldn’t mind a little attention…
@Miss Penguin:
Glad to help! 
@AMK:
It happens to me with co-workers too, or if I say something in a meeting! I immediately get all flushed haha. Everyone is like, aw that’s so cute, and I’m just thinking “AHHHHH!” I need to chillax, yo.
@jade:
Thanks for the tips! I’ll definitely warn my makeup lady
@Mr. Bee:
Oooh, I was thinking of joining Toastmasters too…good to know someone had some luck with it. I wonder if anyone will notice me carrying a weight down the aisle…I can dress it up with flowers! That’s a crazy idea, but I’m so testing it out next time. The only thing is, once my face gets red it stays red for like over an hour. I try everything to make it go away, like drinking tons of water and blasting a/c, but nothing helps. I just need to psych myself out. Thanks for the advice
You don’t need an actual weight - it could just be your flowers! I actually often hold a glass of water when I start giving a speech; everyone sees it as natural because speakers generally need water. I had to testify before Congress one time (long story), and I think I drank a few gallons of water! But I wasn’t visibly nervous at all, which I credit to this one trick.
@Mr. Bee:
I was only kidding about the weight hehe…sort of. I’ll do anything if it works! I drink water like crazy, so I should definitely hold a glass of water next time I have to criticize someone at work or something. I’m going to be clutching onto my flowers for dear life come October. Thanks again for the tip!
CC to florist: “So, I’ll be needing you to hide this 10lb dumbbell in my bouquet…”
I have the same affliction. And the same shyness issues too. I am loud and obnoxious until attention is actually turned to me and then WHAM! I become a beet. Its awesome. I was diagnosed with Rosacea too (again no blotches like above picture, just the attention flush) and i have been using a perscription cream for it. I have no idea if it is working or not!
WOW I can’t believe I just turned on the computer and read this… I AM IN THE SAME POSITION.. it’s horrible I am so bad at public speaking and I turn red if a stranger or anyone talks to me. I never heard of anything that helps that so Im not any help but feel better someone else is in the same position. What I do is distract myself from looking at the person who is talking to me which sometimes looks real rude.. as far as my wedding come Sept I don’t know what I will do 
I take Lexepro due to panic attacks but that’s my own craziness.. it does help so I might be a star in the movie 16 candles but I will be taking that the first week of my wedding.. Good Luck
Hey guys, I don’t think Pepto Bismol will do anything to reduce facial flush from being nervous. Pepto Bismol works by reducing the absorption of alcohol through the lining of your stomach by coating your stomach. The process is:
1. increased blood alcohol levels makes some people’s face turn red (because of a stomach enzyme missing in most Asians)
2. Pepto Bismol coats your stomach, which reduces alcohol absorption through your stomach lining, which lowers your blood alcohol level
However, in addition to cognitive behavioral therapies for excessive blushing, there are medicines which can be used as a stop gap. Ask your doctor about Clonidine.
@JenniferB:
Let me know if that cream ends up working for you! You’ve left me in suspense
@Letizia Bonifacio:
No worries, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one out there who turns beet red, but I hope you are able to tackle your wedding in September without having to worry about it
@BIL Bee:
Phew, that’s a relief considering I think Pepto Bismol tastes like ass and I was really not looking forward to testing it out.
Thanks for helpful info!
Wow, I thought I had rosacea but now I don’t think I do after your post. The only places that get splotchy on me when I’m nervous, drunk, embarrassed, or pissed off are my cheeks and my chest. I’m trying an under makeup moisturizer. It’s green, usually some of the green makeups are made to help reduce redness.
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Miss Candy Corn, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 27, Freelance Writer, Photographer and Illustrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Front End Web Developer Blogging Since: May 6, 2008 Engagement Date: November 10, 2011 Wedding Date: September 2012 Venue: Our backyard! About Me: I’m a 27-year-old photographer, writer and illustrator who enjoys shooting weddings, catching typos in magazines, geeking out with Google Reader, watching Wonder Years marathons with my fiancé, and hanging out with our menagerie of pets. I’m an encore bride planning an intimate, offbeat backyard wedding with my fiancé (known around these parts as “The Ginger”), as we explore our adventures of homeownership.
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