Weddingbee Blog

Since planning the wedding, Mr. Canary have put our social lives on hold due to the lack of two things a) time and b) money. And since I am the first of my friends to get married, I still have that lingering fear that all of them will think that we’ve become that married couple who spends their weekend visiting Home Depot and nesting. Truth be told, we have visited Home Depot fairly often since we’ve moved and need to fix up our new home.

Prior to the wedding planning and Mr. Canary making the big move to New York so that we were finally living in the same city together, I was free to do whatever on my weeknights. Although I was in a serious relationship, Mr. Canary lived three hours away so we talked every day via the requisite phone calls and emails, but aside from that I had a pretty open social life. I often missed Mr. Canary terribly and the only way to ward it off was either to work more and when not working, see my friends as often as possible. Sometimes, we’d make big elaborate plans and other times, we had no plans at all other than hanging out at each other’s apartments gabbing.

On the weekends, Mr. Canary would visit or I would visit him. During our visits, we’d see friends, but would also make sure to get in some quality time alone. With the the long distance arrangement, it was easy for me to separate my individual personal time from my coupled time with Mr. Canary.

However, when Mr. Canary moved to New York, one of my friends jokingly teased, “Oh no… now we’ll never see you again. You’re going to be one of those boring married couples.” I was suddenly very sad and anxious. What did he mean by one of those boring married couples. Nothing would change! I was confident that I could still see my friends on a regular basis and be my same self.

But little did I know how much wedding planning and buying a home would take up so much of our time and budget! When I lived alone, my only budget constraint was to make my rent and the rest was really up for grabs. Now that we have a mortgage and wedding payments, we have to be extra careful and diligent about how we spend and make sure everything is accounted for. We have our weekends planned to the max through the summer in order to get all our wedding errands done, and during the week my calendar is filled with more wedding appointments and hitting the gym at least three times a week to de-stress.

Needless to say, my personal time for me, let alone friends has drastically diminished. And since most of my friends have yet to plan a wedding or buy a home, it’s hard to explain our strapped situation and get a sympathetic ear. I still worry that I will get written off as the boring soon-to-be married gal!

I still try to get in down time with my friends, but often our social activities (when we have time for them) are done as a couple. And we’ve noticed that lately we’ve had to plan way in advance to schedule something as simple as dinner with some of our friends because of everyone’s crazy calendars. But with Mr. Canary’s bachelor party coming up this weekend and the Sex and The City Movie release, I have the perfect excuse to hang out with my friends without worry. I’m sure after the wedding, I will have more time for myself and friends as an individual, but for the next few months, it’ll be Team Canary all the way.

Have you noticed a shift in your social life since planning the wedding or getting married? How have your friends reacted?