Wedding Blog

I’d say if your motive was to help her out, she won’t be offended. Tell her that she’s been such help that you wanted to lessen her workload, but that if she prefers doing it by hand, that you’d be fine with it, too.

If she’s as old-school as you say she is, my bet is that if she finds that she can NOT handle doing it by hand, she’d either tell you upfront or have people she know CAN do it to help her out. Old school Italians have their pride and will keep by their words (and high standards)

Why don’t you just ask her to make a small cake with the same sort of pattern - feel free to pretend its for a bridal shower or engagement party - and see how she does?

If you like her natural talent, then that’s it.

If not, then you should mention that the cake design didn’t look exactly like what you expected, and that you did some research and found these molds which would give you more of the look you want.

If she doesn’t take it well, then you know you need to go to a new cake place.

Honestly if I were the baker, I would be bit put off by a bride who asked me to work in a certain way. That being said, it is understandable that you want it to look a certain way, and you are paying to have it be that particular way.

I think I have the same question as getmarried for less, why do you doubt her ?

I think the only way to do this is to give it to her for reference, and trust that either she will actually use it, or use it to have a close up look at the pattern to do it by hand as she told you she could.

I’m sure your cake will be gorgeous !

She will most likely be offended. But don’t let this deter you. After all, many brides are quite offended by the obscene amount of money they are asked to fork up in good faith that it will turn out the way they have requested.

I’ve seen amazing work with cakes and I have seen - well- not so amazing work and I would have to say that if you are doubting your “old school” baker then perhaps you need to just put it (the mold) out there without fear of how you may “look” or she may “feel”… and remember that it is all about business and making sure that you are happy with the product.

You can call - and tell her you have had these aweful nightmares of the cake not being just the way you envision it. Let her know that you actually searched for the mold. (Yes she will think you are a bridezilla… but it will make her that much more willing to use the mold and carry out your vision). One thing that vendors appreciate is honesty.

(And if all else fails… this is a perfect task for a willing mother of the bride to handle)

I’d have to take a step back at this point and use this as a time to have a good conversation with yourself. Does everything in the wedding need to be exactly what you have seen else where? You probably spent some time finding this mold to exactly match a picture you really like. Are you going to be upset if everything in your wedding is not precisely as you picture it or is on an inspiration picture?

Not that this helps your conversation with the baker, I am just offering as an observation from the tone of your post. Be aware of your feelings and the direction you are going. It doesn’t matter if the answer is yes or no, it is just to be clear with yourself.

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