Miss Cupcake, Philadelphia
Age and Occupation: 27, Graphic Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Construction Project Manager
Engagement Date: February 10, 2007
Wedding Date: September, 2008
Blogging Since: December 7, 2007
Venue: The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA
About Me: Mr. Cupcake and I hit it off at a Halloween party and immediately began a long-distance relationship. After two years, he moved to my neck of the woods, and a year and a half after that, he proposed at the “place we fell in love.” I am a true perfectionist who enjoys designing and creating more work for myself, so wedding planning is my perfect outlet. Mr. Cupcake and I are both old souls, and we hope to weave that aspect of our personalities into our wedding day.
Smash That
May 29th, 2008 @ 9:25 am by Miss Cupcake
Over this past holiday weekend, Mr. Cupcake and I met with his home pastor who will be performing our wedding ceremony. We went over the order of the ceremony, the basic logistics, and some options for the prayers and vows that we’ll be incorporating into our ceremony. Easy peasy.
However, towards the end of our meeting, the pastor (who is normally very laid back and light-hearted) suddenly got very serious, and I got a little nervous. He wanted to let us know that there is one big thing about many of the weddings he has presided over and attended that he disapproves of…. Mr. Cupcake and I sat quietly waiting for him to complete his thought….
He told us that the one thing that he absolutely hates about some weddings…. is the infamous smashing of the cake at the reception.
Photo found here
Photo found here
Photo found here
Mr. Cupcake and I quickly reassured him that we are also not fans of this tradition, and before we even became engaged we always said that we would never, ever smash the cake into the other’s face at our hypothetical wedding. I have nothing against the people who do decide to do this and can enjoy getting a good laugh out of it (and enjoy giving their guests a good laugh), but it is just not for me. Thankfully, Mr. Cupcake has always agreed, so there will be no surprises during our cake cutting.
I prefer a nice, sweet, feeding-of-the-cake-to-my-new-spouse, like this:
Photo found here
After all, I’m spending all this money on hair and makeup — there is no way I’m going to let it get all messed up with icing in every nook, cranny and crevice of my face! I actually think I’d be really, really upset if this happened to me in front of all my friends and family and I had to take time away from my reception to go get cleaned up.What are your feelings on the cake-smashing frenzy? Have you and your FI discussed what you’ll do, or will you just see what happens in the moment?
40 Responses to “Smash That”
I have joked with Mr T. and told him we were going to get a pre-nup that had only one sentence… if cake is smashed in the bride’s face, it’s all over! Ugh I hate this! More power to you if you can handle it, but I know that I cannot. A little dab of frosting on the nose is all I can take 
We have a strict no-smash agreement, like you. Though my boy will probably ham it up and pretend like he’s going to smash the cake in my face, only to turn sweet at the last second.
Forks, please!
No cake smashing, no way! Not only would I be upset about my hair and makeup, but then I would have to leave the party to clean up! I couldn’t just leave all that sticky stuff on my face. Mr. P and I have been very clear with each other on this, thank goodness Those pictures are kind of fun, though!
I’m with everyone else, NO SMASHING! I know Mr. H won’t do it, because he knows how much the hair, makeup, dress, etc. all add up to and he wouldn’t want to ruin it!
absolutely no smashing!!! (ps - make sure you ask for the plate and fork…it is probably a given, but as my latest post pointed out, sometimes it is overlooked)
I’m not a fan of the cake smashing, however FH has a mean streak in him. BUT he knows that whatever he does to me I will do back but worse…so I have to be sure he goes first! HA!
We also are completely against the smashing of the cake. Or rather, I’m completely against it, and my fiance is completely against me wanting to kill him, so it all works out. I’ve told him, semi-jokingly, that the Monday after the wedding we’re filing for divorce if he does it. I think there’s a time and a place for a food fight, and my wedding reception is NOT one of those times.
There is something that just seems really passive aggressive to me about the whole cake smashing thing.
Just my opinion.
Say that’s another vote for “No smashing”.
I’ve been in the “no smashing” boat since before I was born, lol. My mom told Dad on the wedding day that if he smashed cake in her face, she was leaving! I didn’t have to threaten my fiance quite that much, even though he thinks it’s “fun.” We’re going to dab each other on the nose with frosting to be cute, but that is IT as far as cake on my face. I’m with you - I’m going to be spending way too much on the dress/hair/makeup etc to have it all be ruined by cake (which also isn’t cheap!)
My dad is a pastor (who has done many, many weddings) and he has told me on a couple occasions that he really dislikes it when the couple smashes cake in each other’s faces! In fact, he also told me that he tells them that at their pre-marital meetings too! He says he thinks that’s an awful way to start off a marriage: smashing things in each other’s face! Plus you do end up ruining your makeup/hair/ and possibly dress…so my fiance and I will only feed each other politely!
I actually don’t even understand why we are supposed to feed cake to each other in the first place….we chose to not do a cake-cutting ceremony at all. we simply snuck out for a minute with our photographer, did the nice sweet cake cutting so my mother could have photos (we first said we didn’t want to cut it at all, but no one understood that), and that was that. Its just a strange ritual to me I guess. No one even asked us when we cut the cake too, which I think is funny! Goes to show that most guests could care less how we choose to feed each other cake.
I just don’t get the smashing. I’d love to hear if there’s some sort of reason or tradition for it though!
no smashing. no way. all i have to do is remind money-conscious FI of how much i spent on my makeup for him to realize that is a horrible idea. 
I am completely with you on this. I think it’s disgusting. I made a point of talking to my fiancé about it just in case, but he had actually never heard of it and anyway also thought it was gross.
I think at one point I actually told him I would boycott all honeymoon activites if cake was smashed on me. I wanted there to be no mistaking my feelings on the subject.
At my cousin’s wedding, she and her husband did something clever. The bridal party was egging them on, trying to get them to smash cake in each other’s face and they went along with it up until the last second. Then they turned around and smeared cake on the groom’s sister’s face (she was the most vocal in trying to get them to smash the cake on each other). Everyone thought that it was pretty funny, and his sister had a great sense of humor about it. Since that wedding, no one in my family has egged on the bride and groom to get crazy with the cake!
my brother reeeaaalllly smashed his new wife, full on, cake everywhere. I felt so bad for her. Mr. P and I are definitely not smashers. So, unless I trip and fall face first into the cake my hair and make-up should be a-ok.
@KRunRun: that is really funny, good thing she had a good sense of humor
I hate the cake-smashing ritual. HATE it. I told my FI that if he smashes the cake in my face I’m calling a divorce lawyer the next morning. I’m mostly kidding, but I really do loathe the idea of having to leave the party to clean myself up and/or getting chocolate cake on my gown.
We both said heck no although hubby thought it might be funny. Funny for him, not for me. In the end, we dutifully ate cake like civilized folks and at the very end, he plopped a dollop of frosting on my nose. hilarious photo of that one–and one quick swipe to take it off–my face and makeup were still flawless. (although with all my makeup *I* felt like the cake. . .)
I told FI that I would tear up the marriage certificate if he smashes the cake in my face. I mean it.
I agree, cake to face smashing is a definite “NO”. So passive aggressive! We saw friends do this at a wedding and were just appalled — which spawned the “don’t you dare do that to me if we ever get married” discussion long before I had a ring.
I just posted this on my local knot board! No way Jose! I’m so glad (and honestly, surprised) by how many people are NOT doing it…it has nothing to do with makeup or dress or hair to me. It has to do with wanting to be the schmapiest, loviest, sickeningly lovey dovey we’ve ever been on our wedding day. And smashing cake in someone’s face in front of all their friends and family just doesn’t spell L-O-V-E to me. That’s just me. And my fiancee.
He insists that he’s going to smash the cake in my face and I’m insisting to him that the wedding night will be very boring. We’re too competitive and I don’t want to risk getting hurt or getting cake in my hair that I paid to have done, my makeup that I spent money on, or my beautiful gown. I keep telling him if he does smash it in my face, then I’m picking up one of the cake tiers and dropping it on his head.
absolutely not. it’s such a waste of good cake.
definitely no smashing. why waste excellent cake? not to mention the negative start to being married. polite feeding for us!
No cake smashing for us! I love the idea of feeding each other cake–how symbolic it is of nurturing and taking care of each other from this day forward. I think cake smashing is an incredibly disrespectful way to begin your lives together. It goes far beyond messing up the makeup, hair, and dress in my mind.
My mom already informed my fiance that if he smashes cake, she will cry. And does he want her to cry?
we are definitely not doing this. i like him too much to destroy his face and embarrass him in front of our loved ones. he in turn would never mess with my face either.
i’ve always hated this. i used to see this done at birthday parties. the person was supposed to take a bite directly from the cake and then someone pushes his/her face down into the cake hard and ruins half the cake. so mean and unhygienic.
whoa…these are some serious cake smashing pics!
i am currently spending a lot of time looking at makeup tutorials. i am slowly buying better brushes.
each evening i fully makeup my face as if i were getting married and then take several pics that i critique each nite.
finally, i plan to purchase some MAC makeup.
i say all this to bc i am making an investment of both TIME and MONEY into my bridal look.
my fh would catch all manners of hell if he squashed cake into the face that took 5 months to create!
My husband was the one who was admit NO SMASHING. Apparently in his family there is a bad history with couples that smash cake in each’s faces ending up divorced. He and his family were very firm you smash cake you are in BIG trouble. Not that I minded, who the heck wants sticky nasty cake on their face anyway?
I’m so happy when I hear about the backlash against cake smashing!
We’re not having it.
We both dislike it. I think cake smashing seems like such an odd & aggressive way to celebrate your love for one another…
I am definitely not a fan of this idea, though I don’t know if I would go so far as to demand FI not do it.
NO and absolutely NO! No offence to the people that like it but this “tradition” is absolutely disgusting!
Ditto! I am so w/ you on the NO CAKE SMASHING! I think it is disrepectful and not a way to begin a marriage.
I wish I could remember exactly what was said, but someone once told me that feeding the cake to your new spouse is symbol of how you will nuture them through your marriage… cake smashing doesn’t work well with that.
Cake smashing pretty much screams, America’s Funniest Home Videos, circa 1983.
I can’t imagine any circumstances where I’d think it was cute or funny. I’d just have a visceral reaction of horror.
I was in a wedding where the bride and groom smashed caked into one another’s faces so hard that the bride gave the groom a bloody nose. I don’t think anyone in attendance thought it was funny or cute. It wasn’t a big surprise when the couple divorced less than a year later.
I’m impressed that I got 38 comments and not a SINGLE person approves of the cake smashing! Ladies after my own heart
I’m with you - no one should mess up a bride with a cake. It’s just not my thing.
I know some brides have been teased by hidden giant forks.
