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Mrs. Penguin, Northern California Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy Engagement Date: January 29, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 14, 2007 Venue: Winery in the Gold Country About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
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Wedding Attire: Overheard

May 31st, 2008 @ 4:26 pm by Mrs. Penguin

Andy: I am unfamiliar with “Cocktail Attire.”  What is that?
Ben: Have you seen the movie “Cocktail?” I believe Tom Cruise prances around in a shirt and his underwear. I’d recommend that.
Mr. Penguin: I assume you dress up as your favorite cocktail. You could probably wear a cherry as a hat and a pink shirt and come as a Shirley Temple.

If you’re at that point where you’re wondering what attire to suggest for guests at your wedding, here’s a fun list.

Black Tie - The most formal attire is requested. Tuxes for men, evening or ball gowns for women.

Black Tie Optional - Male guests are invited to wear tuxes, but can wear dark suits. Women wear dresses, ranging from evening gowns to cocktail party dresses. This implies the event is formal.

Semi-Formal - Tuxes not required, nor are long dresses. Suits for men are still implied, and women are invited to wear short or cocktail dresses.

Cocktail - Suits, or dress shirts, ties and slacks for men, short or tea length party dresses for women.

Informal - Similar to cocktail attire, but sometimes implying even more casual dress.

Dressy Casual - A step down from cocktail in dressiness. Khakis are appropriate for men (but not Jeans), sun dresses for women.

Casual - Casual is the most confusing of the dress codes. To some it means shorts and t-shirts, to others, Khakis and dress shirts, no tie. If your wedding is casual, perhaps recommend a form of dress on your wedding webpage, like “Skirts and Jeans.”

…and I suppose I’d dress up as a Vodka Tonic for the wedding. Although I don’t exactly know how I’d dress myself up to be clear and delicious. So I’m glad I’ve got the wedding dress as a backup.

How did you decide on the level of formality for your wedding?

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17 Responses to “Wedding Attire: Overheard”

1.
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Bee
Miss Bruschetta (message)  5,553 posts, Bee Keeper

Pengy, I hear ya on clear and delish — I’d be a gin and tonic, so limes would be involved. But, since I prefer mine made with Philly’s own Bluecoat gin, I could totally work in a chic, cerulean outer layer (MagPie loves a good pun — score!) :-)

I always envisioned a Black Tie Optional wedding, and our ceremony and reception sites and caterer complement one another very well, and also meet with the level of formality I wanted — yea!

 
2.
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Member
vee (message)  218 posts, Helper bee

i just received an invitation with “Creative Black Tie”… i’m told that it’s between Black Tie and Black Tie Optional??

 
3.
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Guest
Amy

This is such an important topic. I’m known for being very upfront with people about stuff like this. I like to think that people appreciate the heads up, and even my honesty when I give my opinion on wardrobe decisions. However, this really only applies to my own friends and family. With his friends, I would seriously be concerned that some of the guys would show up in jeans and wrinkled shirts. I literally fear that the girls would show up in flip flops and sweaters. It’s tough, especially since we are pretty casual ourselves and we live in California.

A friend recently attended a semi-formal wedding where many of the out of town guests showed up in jeans!? I think that I’m going to put a link on my wedding website that clarifies the definitions of what cocktail and or dressy casual means!

This one is very clear:
http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/attire.htm

 
4.
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Guest
sarahb

Perfect timing, people have start asking me what the dress code is for our wedding.

 
5.
Miss Tiramisu
Bee
Miss Tiramisu (message)  878 posts, Busy bee

Someday I will go to a fancy costume ball dressed as champagne- in a fabulous long beige silky dress and I will blow bubbles all night. And in this fantasy I will also somehow have the body of a swimsuit model to pull off such a dress :)

Great post though, I guess we’re shooting for semi-formal.

 
6.
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Bee
Miss Cherry Pie (message)  688 posts, Busy bee

You forgot White Tie! It’s the formalest-est of all. :D

 
7.
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Guest
CarolineG

We’re having a beach wedding, but it’s at sunset and the reception is in the evening, so I’d say cocktail. I am telling guests - particularly males - that although this is on the beach, it is still an important rite of passage and they should dress respectfully and accordingly, i.e. no shorts, tee shirts or golf shirts.

 
8.
stargazerlily
Member
stargazerlily (message)  946 posts, Busy bee

@vee: I saw taht one too but I didnt think people ACTUALLY asked people to do that one but I guess they do! I think it means you can wear a tux shell but mix up the inside, maybe just wear a colored shirt inside the tux (with no bowtie/tie) and I dont know how you’d get creative as a girl…maybe a formal gown, but like, really sexy? Who knows!

@Miss Cherry Pie: Haha yeah! Anyone have a white tie wedding? I’d love to see pics!

 
9.
KateMW
Hostess
KateMW (message)  2,714 posts, Sugar bee

If I had to dress up as a cocktail, I’d go as Champagne. That dress in JCrew Weddings with the gold dots would do just fine! As far as dress goes for our celebration (We’re renewing our vows and I’m so confused about what to call it for short and tired of saying vow renewal on here. Anybody got any ideas?), I’m going for a semi-formal look, such as cocktail. I think all of our friends will know…I had a black-tie NYE party two years ago, so this will be giving them a break! :)

 
10.
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Guest
mhb

wasn’t that one “real wedding” on here - Nicole and Kent - white tie? or was that black tie? It was uber-formal.

Thanks for this guide - just in time for the start of this summer’s zillion weddings!

 
11.
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Member
rebecca (message)  1,316 posts, Bumble bee

Thanks, Miss Penguin! I didn’t write what the attire is on the invite, but I think it’s worth doing it on the website.

 
12.
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Guest
srh

This post reminds me of a post on husband clothes where a guy assumed black tie optional meant tie optional. It’s quite amusing (mostly because he isn’t my guy ;)) if you want to take a look: http://www.husbandclothes.com/uncategorized/guest-post-black-tie-optional/

 
13.
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Member
MsAnge (message)  124 posts, Blushing bee

In my dreams I would have a black, or perhaps even white-tie wedding. However, none of my friends own evening gowns (yaaaaaaaaaaaay college kids). So for practicality’s sake, we’re doing semi-formal. Maybe black-tie optional. We’ll see what the parents think about that, lol.

 
14.
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Guest
Jessica

Ben’s definition just might qualify as the “best look in the world”….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB1bDdY8cAs

 
15.
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Guest
Linda

dear miss pengy,
You are by far my most favorite bee!!!

 
16.
frenchbulldog
Bee
frenchbulldog (message)  6,077 posts, Bee Keeper

Thank you for the list Pengy I wish I could have sent this to the guests at FOUR weddings a went to last year that were Semi-formal and at least 2 men were either wearing jeans or shorts!
Q:WHEN is it okay to wear jeans or shorts to someone’s wedding?
A: ONLY if it is casual dress and even then I say be respectful and wear khakis or something like that.

 
17.
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Guest
Decoding the Dress Code » Weddingbee » The Wedding Blog

[...] about what to wear to a black tie event. And when Mrs. Penguin was in the midst of her planning, she wrote a post about the spectrum of guest attire. For our purpose, I’m toying with phrases like “black [...]

 


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Mrs. Penguin
Mrs. Penguin Mrs. Penguin, Northern California Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy Engagement Date: January 29, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 14, 2007 Venue: Winery in the Gold Country About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
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